Another thread about someone being mocked for using an iPhone 5 (the horrors!), and some of the comments therein, gave me an idea...let's see who here us using the oldest, most out-of-date cell phone.
My phone is only a few months old, so I'm not in the running, but here it is:
Phone: Samsung Galaxy Note 5
Purchased: New in summer 2016
Age: Approximately 4 months
ETA: Lest I look completely anti-mustachian, my previous phone was a Galaxy Note 2 and was way past its contract end date. Got the new one because we switched carriers to cut our bill in half with my BIL's huge discount plan.