I think what's missing from this discussion is that becoming wealthy/financially independent, and staying that way, forces you to develop the habits that get you there--it forces you to become the type of person that is financially independent. It is much more rare for someone to accidentally get there (e.g., inheritance, lottery, lucky stock picking), and even more rare for those accidentally wealthy people to keep their wealth--because that is not who they are. Their habits will lead them to lose the wealth. See all the examples of celebrities and athletes that became suddenly wealthy through signing a fat juicy 7 or 8 figure contract, and then went bankrupt a few years later.
Based on all the evidence I've seen, it *does* help to have to suffer some, to have to overcome challenges, and to have to work to become wealthy, because in that process you figure out the skill of how to become wealthy, and you develop the discipline of living on less than you earn. I'm not arguing to throw every kid in the slums and see who rises above it, but I am saying that wealthy parents have to be more careful about how they raise their kids, because the absence of suffering and challenge can cripple their kids ability to learn how to work, learn how to generate income for themselves and their families, and to learn how to control their spending.
I can tell you in my case, I've been pretty successful in life, and nobody has ever given me a dime of inheritance. I'm not exactly a rags to riches story either, because I grew up in a wealthy neighborhood and went to top quality schools. At the same time though, my parents went bankrupt while I was a teenager. I had punch cards for subsidized lunches in the cafeteria. I went to a very expensive private university, but I paid for most of it with an Army ROTC scholarship and student loans. I didn't want to join the Army by the way, I did it because it was the only way to afford that school. Even relative to my siblings, my parents gave a lot more to my brothers and sisters than they ever gave to me--and I'm glad for it. I earned my own way, paid for everything. I became successful. If I had been given a pile of money, or if someone picked me up every time I fell, I don't believe for a minute that I would have developed the same ability to generate income, to manage investments, to bounce back from failures, or to spend less than I earn and save. I am glad that I had to learn to make it on my own, because it caused me to do so.
I think it's a huge fallacy to think that the money can accomplish the same thing without the experience of earning it. You can talk all you want to your kids, trying to teach them all the right lessons. How did you learn what you know, how did you develop your habits? From what your parents told you? Or was it from your direct life experiences, the challenges you had to face, the obstacles you overcame, the failures and successes you've had? I know my answer.
Back a bit more towards the main post, I'd suggest you take a look at the book Thou Shalt Prosper. It's not a preachy book so please try to get past that if you're the anti-religious type. It sets out to explain why Jews have been more successful as a group than many other groups, and it's written by a Rabbi. The essential message is that working, contributing, running businesses, etc. are good things, it helps everyone. It argues that engaging in the society around you through work, and making money in the process (which directly shows that you've added value to others' lives), is exactly what people should do.