Has anyone successfully learned to moderate drinking and do you have any suggestions?
It's difficult to moderate because it's addictive. Your impulse center is telling you to drink because you've recently been drinking, and that's how the cycle works, unfortunately. It's only after a week or so of not drinking that the impulses go down and your body chemistry goes back to normal.
I have a lot of will power, but I am the type to either do something or not.
Totally makes sense. I think that working professionals who drink tend to be very driven people. You have to be driven in order to function well in a demanding job despite being hung over more often than not. God knows this was true for me.
I used to smoke a pack a day in university for 3 years straight and then I dropped the habit, it has been years and I don’t care for it and I will never smoke again.
The reason it's easier to quit smoking than drinking is attitude, IMO.
The attitude toward smoking as a habit has shifted to "this is a habit/addiction that provides zero benefits and has a whole lot of negatives." If you have this negative attitude toward smoking, then there's no downside to quitting. Only payoff.
The attitude toward drinking is the opposite. Most people think something along the lines of: "This is great, I love getting a buzz/relaxing and it makes me more social." So giving this habit up doesn't feel so great. It feels like deprivation.
The way to fix this is to alter your attitude so that you don't feel deprived when you're not drinking.
As long as you feel deprived, you're going to keep thinking you should have that drink as a reward. Because you had a tough day. Because you exercised already. And you deserve it.
I found that for me, the way to shift my attitude is to focus on the negatives of drinking. You mentioned quite a few of them in your post, and Nords listed a bunch too. It's basically the same list. I sleep better. I enjoy exercise more (don't have to absolutely force my way through a weight routine while also being dehydrated and tired from lack of sleep.) I look and feel better. My mood is better, I make more jokes and take greater pleasure from social interactions. Life doesn't seem as difficult -- even bits that I used to find really unpleasant are occasionally fun, like housecleaning and helping my aging mother. (Sorry, mom.)
Focus on the negatives long enough and you will have trouble maintaining the attitude that drinking is fun. It might even start to feel like punishment, you know? Something that is keeping you from being happier and healthier, or having better relationships.
Once you switch tracks on attitude, it'll be the end of drinking for you.
I feel stupid even sharing this because I know I can *fix* this, but for whatever reason I keep failing and I feel better to share here than talk about it without people I know.
Completely understand. You can definitely fix it. As I mentioned, I already know you're driven because you drink and hold down a job.
Side note:
I think that quitting alcohol has some similarities to the frugal/mmm lifestyle actually in the sense that when you first start out, you might feel a bit deprived.
Why can't I go out to eat every night anymore? Why aren't I using the iPhone 8 while driving my Hummer to the mall for some shopping? But over time your attitude shifts and your new lifestyle feels
much, much better than the old one, and you'd never willingly go back to your spendy ways. Because you've made the mental adjustment and no longer feel deprived of anything -- you simply would never
choose to spend money on all that stuff anymore and in fact it'd probably make you feel terrible to do so.
