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Have you even tried to get a remote/WFH coding job? If you are good enough to get a 260k job that requires you to be in the office but makes you miserable, maybe you would be happier with a 80-120k job that lets you focus just on code and minimizes having to deal with people.

I agree that you sound depressed.  Talking with someone might help, and also help you figure out the best next steps.

Personally, 2k/month for four people is cutting it a bit close to the bone for my tastes.  If you do want to try it, I strongly recommend you look at states that have expanded medicaid -- here in Washington your whole 4-person family can qualify for medicaid as long as your income isn't more than about 3k/month.  Kids continue to qualify for the state plan with a modest monthly fee (max $60/month/family) up to pretty high income levels (70-80k).
Ask a Mustachian / Re: Pension vs 401(a)
« Last post by civil4life on Today at 07:34:02 PM »
The SS is based on the statement I received from SS. 
Mini Money Mustaches / Re: How Many of you are Anti-Disney?
« Last post by Johnez on Today at 07:31:01 PM »
Agreed with above. Wintertime during the weekdays is the best time for going to Disneyland. Unfortunately, if you live out of state it might be hard to plan a vacation on the off season. Also, no need to eat at Disney, they let you bring fiod-seriously. We packed sandwiches last time (2-3 years ago). Eat a big breakfast at Norms or something NOT near the park, maybe get a snack/lunch at the park if you're dying to eat something hot (I recommend the turkey legs), and then get a nice dinner outside the park. There really isn't a reason to spend too much on food while there. There are plenty of hotels to choose from in the area that aren't terribly expensive, usually a bit older, but still liveable. Just be careful to avoid the "residential" motels, though Anaheim has run many of these out of the city. And heck, if Disney's a bit rich, Knott's Berry Farm has more fun rides IMO and is way cheaper.
Real Estate and Landlording / Re: Anyone live by a ski resort?
« Last post by spartana on Today at 07:26:20 PM »
You might look into sharing a ski lease - which is a 4 to 5 month furnished lease during ski season. In the Tahoe area they can run from $150/month on up and can be split amongst several people. Some (those who still have jobs elsewhere) who may only use it on weekends and holidays. I did a 3 bbedroom one 2 seasons ago that was $2k/month split between 4 people.  Its a good way to spend a season skiing but not be locked into a long term lease or roommate situation. I lived (live) full time at a small ski resort in SoCal (Big Bear Lake). Its inexpensive but the skiing sucks at the 2 local resorts due to snow (or lack of snow) conditions.
Ask a Mustachian / Re: Girlfriend (Ex) Expect(ed) Subsidies
« Last post by lhamo on Today at 07:20:15 PM »
When I lived in Siem Reap, I made a Khmer friend. She was bubbly, sweet, very intelligent and resourceful, conversant in three languages, the girlfriend of a Canadian acquaintance. She lived with her family in a wooden house at the edge of town, was attracted to the western lifestyle that had started growing exponentially in her town (2005). She'd drive me around town on her motorbike (gift from former boyfriend, a British journalist from the BBC), we'd visit the silk farm to do textile research. She was helpful and kind and I was  happy to return the favor: set up a blog when she expressed curiosity about writing online, printed photos, etc. I didn't know then that being linked romantically with a western man there, and in most other SE Asian towns, meant a woman's reputation had already been or was in the process of being ruined.

She saw me go to one of the foreign bars in town with Taiwanese friends, and wanted to come along. It was run by a French guy, was laid back with a nice clientele. So I invited her one night. She played pool with a handful of French guys, and ended up exchanging numbers with one - an older guy, very kind and polite. He'd come to town to manage one of the posh new boutique [very exclusive, not your typical 'boutique' SE Asian] hotels being built.

Weeks later, the Canadian called me a bitch to my face (still did behind my back years later) and said I'd helped hand off his girlfriend to the French guy - a much better prospect than the Canadian teacher. "Good SE Asian girls don't go to western bars!" he fumed. "Didn't you know this?! Also, she was trawling the web for men from the site you helped her build." He was right. She'd become an important breadwinner for the family, and since she'd not finished high school, dating western men was really her only option.

Not sure whether you're in Chiang Mai or somewhere smaller. But the culture in smaller Thai towns is similar. Yes, the fact that you earn a lot more than she does and consume expensive food she might not normally and additionally there will likely be pressure she's getting from her family to have you help's a good thing you got out early.

This kind of situation is very, very common in China, as well.  Right down to the pouting/tantrums as a way of forcing the relationship on.  It is actually quite hard  for many expat men who want to develop deeper/more equitable relationships because more established/professional local women and expat women alike think most Western guys want the stereotype.  And once you have had a couple of those kinds of relationships, you have kind of dug yourself into a rut.

If you do move to a larger city, be careful about who you associate with in the early days and be VERY wary about who you date.  It doesn't actually take that long to find out which hangouts are preferred by the players/losers.  Stay away from those, and bars/clubs in general.  Since you are interested in outdoor activities, science, etc try to cultivate most of your early friendships with people who share those interests and hobbies.  If you can befriend some longer-term expats who know where the problem spots/who the problem people are, that can help.  You don't want to believe all the gossip, obviously, but usually in any community there are some people you want to stay away from and someone who has been there awhile will be able to point them out (though they may not say much early on as they are trying to figure out if you are a quality person or not).

Ah, expat life --never a dull moment! 
Ask a Mustachian / Re: Groceries: Order online and pickup curbside?
« Last post by civil4life on Today at 07:20:00 PM »
I started doing this several months ago when Walmart started it.  If you order over $35 there is no fee.

The other pro is I am not picking up stuff I do not need.   Walmart has a price match guarantee.
How will it be structured?  If the employer will treat her as a 1099 contractor, then she'll have to pay the full self employment taxes herself, which brings her take-home down considerably.

Kind of depends on the market rate locally, too -- $25/hour for general admin and simple book-keeping  is probably about right for Seattle, maybe a bit high, actually.  I did see a local company offering that recently for a PT position (property management company admin assistant, 25-30 hours/week)

So she mentioned my wife would need to be bonded and licensed...? I'm not quite sure what that means but I guess she'd need to find out more. From what I thought I heard, she would technically be an employee of the company though. I'll have to double-check on that again.

If its a friend, I would jokingly throw out a high number, then judge the response. Ill interested in the job but not for anything less than $50 an hour. They might say Id like to give you more but... or you know I could probably give you $x. 

I don't know how we'll she'd respond to this if it's in a half-joking manner. The reason is because my wife was basically already offered the job and I think it could be taken the wrong way. By responding half-jokingly, it kinda makes it seem like you're not really that interested... at least, this is my opinion just stepping back and thinking about how that could come off sounding
Mini Money Mustaches / Re: How to get my son to get his grades up?
« Last post by Johnez on Today at 07:16:46 PM »
I agree, great story TWH, well worth the length. Another great reminder that grades arent the be all end all they seem like they are at this very moment. Thanks for sharing!
Semi-serious question: how does he get anything done with a monitor that small? I'd go nuts.

Isn't that just a normal size monitor? We didn't go in looking for a small one, that was just what the store had on sale, so we bought it.
I'm very contrary to the majority of the population.  Looking at the expectation gap between standard female grooming and standard male grooming, I don't want the female standard to lower.  I want the male standard to increase.  I'm in the wrong audience, but would you women please help with this?  If a woman needs to shave her legs, pits, and body, then a man should be just as shaved.  I don't get what the deal is with guys who take their shirts off and look like they have a rug on their chest and back.  Any man pressuring a woman to lose weight should be sporting a six pack to start.  Woe to him if we bring out the calipers and he has a higher body fat percentage than she does.  And if any man gives too many bonus points to a woman with a large chest, then he better have a minimum of 17 inch biceps to match.

I can get away with shaving my head, and with my balding scalp it's the only thing that looks good on me.  I buy about two hair cuts a year while my wife spends exponentially more on her stylings every two months.  More and more women are getting away with short to shaved heads, but nowhere near the majority.  If we don't accept female shaved heads as the standard, I am going to have to buy some rock star wigs.

As part of my education, next time I pass Sephora I'm going to ask for a makeup demonstration on me.  I have no idea what standard male makeup will look like when it takes off, but it seems like an untapped market.

I kind of agree with you! I am a very coiffed woman by MMM standards. I do everything in house, and don't pay for minor items, but IRL i just look like a typical spendy lady with nice hair, done nails, and good fashion. At the same time though, my husband is similarly coiffed. He also keeps up with body hair, he also keeps up with body type by working out, and he also has an excellent sense of style.

Growing up I always felt I needed to remove my leg and arm hair, but my husband does remove his chest hair and groin hair as well, he's also a hairy guy. To me, I find it erotic when he removes hair, to him, he finds my hair removal erotic. I don't see an issue with it as long as both groups are in agreement. I think many women dismiss the social pressure men feel.
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