Lots of good advice here! Thanks!
I think y'all are right to suggest that I visit the county to see what rules and regulations I may need to follow, as well as what permits and so forth will cost. I am aware that this is a huge, gaping hole in my knowledge bank. I have a month of school left, and that'll definitely be one of my summer projects. That and learning about the costs of bringing in the driveway, septic and so forth. I'm a whole lot more interested in floor plans and curtains . . . but I know a necessity when I see one.
No, we're waiting 'til our youngest graduates to build, so we have not talked to builders yet -- nor will we for a while. We're solidly in the planning stage.
Sarah Susanka's books -- I own them all! Purchased used off ebay. I completely buy into many of her idea for building what we actually need and will use on a daily basis instead of formal rooms. I currently live in the least efficient house in America, which contains a formal living room and formal dining room. My new house will have good-sized, comfortable rooms, but NO "nice rooms for company". I also love many of her smaller concepts such as an "away room", a lighting plan, and . . . oh, I can't remember, but I really enjoyed her books. I have been surprised, though, that her idea of a "small house" is actually quite large in my opinion!
I am currently reading A Pattern Language, and I have read a bunch of other books. When I need to understand something, I've always turned to books. I've learned so much already, and I am sure I'm going to avoid many mistakes through preparedness. And I totally agree with the person who pointed out that gathering knowledge is free.
In case it might help someone else, one book I read recently is Better Houses, Better Living by a Mr. Ferguson. He worked for years as a house inspector, and he points out design flaws that lessen the efficiency of houses. I have many of them in my own house. For example, walk in my front door and put your hand into the spot where the light switch ought to be. It isn't there. Nope, you must enter the room and walk around a corner to find the light switch. Good luck. Oddly enough, this NEVER BOTHERED ME 'til he pointed it out as a design flaw -- now it's driving me nuts, and I am determined to avoid this problem in my next house. The book is full of small things like this that cost little to nothing to avoid, but that make a big difference in the live-ability of the house.
Yes, I'm very aware of the need to orient the house appropriately for the setting. Garage to the least-hospitable north, which for us also blocks an undesirable view. Sunroom to the southeast. Large covered porch shading the great room from the western sun.
Someone mentioned a basement. We're in the South, where no one has basements. Up north, basements make more sense: You have to dig deeper to get past the frost line when building your foundations; thus, a basement is only a few feet more . . . yet it can double your house size. Here we aren't required to go as deep; thus, digging a basement isn't just a bit deeper -- it's a whole lot deeper. Throw in the red clay, and it's just not a great idea. And land is cheaper, so we can build "out" instead of "down" for the same price -- but "out" gives us natural light. I personally know only one family who has a basement.
I like the idea of doing a mock-up! I'm a very visual person. Another summer project for me.
I totally agree that one of the negatives of buying items ahead is that technology will improve. I think I'm interested in buying light fixtures and plumbing fixtures -- things that really do cost, but technology that isn't likely to improve. It's too early to do this now, but I think I'll start when we're a year from breaking ground. Yes, Craigslist and ebay will still be around, but you can't always find good deals TODAY on the items you want.