I have worked, and am working with an EXCELLENT realtor. Easily top 10% in the area, if not top 1%. And you know what she does?
She takes what you tell her you want (location, features, price, size, etc), and helps you find and look at properties that seem to fit your criteria.
She will point out what she sees about a house, but is NOT a contractor or home inspector.
She'll give you some guidance on what the market is doing in the area.
She preps the paperwork to make an offer on a house, and helps you navigate the whole process of offer-counteroffer, inspection, closing (in conjunction with the mortgage person if applicable), etc.
She does NOT decide what you want, where you want it, what your budget is, what makes financial sense for you, do basic due diligence research on a property, long range financial analysis, or cost-benefit analysis.
Pretty much every single thing in your list is primarily your problem to figure out, and sure a relator might have some knowledge they could contribute, but really, YOUR responsibility.
Now, I happen to be cautious of realtors because there are good number of them who are, bluntly, flakes, and I have a basic need for competence and follow-through. But it's certainly not all of them. And no, not all Americans are lazy, or dumb, or poorly educated.
Frankly, just go live in a camper. Based on the quote that Dicey pulled up, you would likely be miserable with anything else.