100% I hear you! We had a similar conversation/awakening about seven years ago. Started reading MMM, Frugalwoods, Millenial Revolution, FIRE movement and Bogleheads, Your Money or Your Life etc. Total game changers, those are my gurus :) oh, it started with Dave Ramsey about 11 years back...wow that seems like ages ago ...
To your point, If we updated/bought all the things we “needed”, wouldn’t be one iota any happier. it would be a new MacBook, replace our sofa, go out to eat more, probably get my haircut more than twice a year, buy some new shoes, buy a tractor...a zero turn lawn mower, new gas grill, plus maybe a jet skis or atvs...the possible list is endless! I always tell him I could spend $10K, even $50K in about 5 minutes, and we wouldn’t even see it.
We both decided that we weren’t really getting any traction (outside of Philly), so we completely changed everything over the last 6 years or so. This is the end of the project plan lol - now: cash in our old house and move to el cheapo house. Too funny, DH thought I’d never like it, -too isolated, too small- and I had to explain that what I like is the extra $$$ in investments, a cheap cost of living, and not having to work for idiots...where I have to be trapped in meetings about nothing.
So far, it’s really the right thing for us. Not easy. And of course, Our families think we are varying degrees of nuts, except that now they’re starting to see it come together. Good luck in your own adventures...it sounds like you’re in good shape: you know how to save, Live belowmyour means and how to tell yourself no. Even if this home purchase isn’t “perfect”, you’ll float through it ok.
My mom has the saying, “money goes “. Sounds like your friend gave you good advice.