Thanks to everyone for the feedback!
@J_Stache, good point about animals being territorial, I hadn't thought of that
@ChpBstrd and others -- I'm not really giving our current housing situation credit, there are things we absolutely love about it. I think its entirely possible that we'll move to the city, be overwhelmed by traffic and lack of greenspace and safety concerns, and come running back to the suburbs. I honestly put it at about 50-50. And we live in the best suburb in our state (in my mind), so this is where we'd come back to. Yeah I'd probably opt for being right next to the state park, all else being equal, but those house are usually 100K more so....all else is not equal! But this is more about not being emotionally ready to give up our house, rather than any concern over closing costs, that literally had not crossed my mind. And surely its good to be building equity somewhere, right? (But, again, this is more emotional/logistical than financial)
@Overflow, yeah, I think we are willing to do this even if it means we are basically paying a couple hundred a month to do it. Obviously we wouldn't continue that indefinitely, but for a year or two, sure.
For all those who asked about our finances, we're doing great overall by my standards. 45% savings rate, no debts beside the mortgage a bit cash light but should have 20K in the emergency fund in a couple months, with some more cash available in our Roth IRAs if totally necessary. Both have secure jobs, although I'm a fed so I don't know what my future really is, but that would be a intentional choice, not a layoff, etc.
Also, general question I'm not really getting --- why do maintenance costs play into this? We'll be paying for those whether we are living in the house or not (and since we are renting in the city, we won't be paying those on the city house), so financially I see that as a wash? Am I not thinking about this correctly? I get that a property manager would be an extra cost (probably won't go that route), as would a vacancy as we'd be paying both rent and mortgage that month. But maintenance just goes along with owning a home.
Last thing, I am more concerned about losing the mortgage write-off, as I feel like that has helped us lots in the past....any thoughts there? I mean, sounds like I'll just have to deal with that, probably.