Thanks for the replies! A couple responses to some questions, great thought starters.
With your incomes, and cash for a downpayment you guys could afford a ton of house.
Yeah the first bank we got approved with said we could qualify for prime rate on a 15-yr 2.3% for up to a $700k mortgage I think... no way we are looking to get a $800-$1M house just yet. Crazy, but in due time maybe for the next one if our finances improve in 5-10 years and if it's something we think will bring us happiness.
"what do we need to pay to achieve true happiness in our lives" ... What are your retirement goals? What else could that money be spent on, and would that thing give you more or less happiness than a house? What will truly make you happy moving forward?
This is a good way to frame! Hadn't really thought of it. My wife enjoys working, while I'd be okay to leave the grind someday earlier than age 67. I think a stretch but attainable goal is if we can reach $3M liquid by age 36-40 for me (33-37 for her) and be financially ready to fully retire by 50 with $5M and never work again... even if we choose to continue in some way. At both times, we would definitely re-evaluate the work situations to make sure we aren't racing toward deca-millionaire status for no reason and sacrificing our family life and enjoyment. We save ~$120k/yr across retirement and non-retirement savings now, and think that would slip to maybe $80-100k per year after having kids. Probably back up to $120k+ once we pay off our home in a few years.
Wait a minute. Your title says that you'd be spending this much because it would be your "dream home". You aren't even seriously home shopping yet, and yet you're already planning on upgrading from your 600k "Dream home" that you don't have, to a more expensive place in a couple of years? I think that's worth some introspection. You're succumbing to peer pressure. You feel like you make enough money that you "should" have an expensive home full of luxury finishes, and then you "should" upgrade from that home to a more expensive one in just a few more years because that's what your peers are doing. A $10million stash in GA is beyond Fat FIRE. You guys should be beyond comfortable with less than that. Once you're beyond a couple of million, you're just trading your time for more stuff after you retire, and how much is that stuff actually worth? You can't buy more time, no matter how rich you are. I'd suggest prioritizing your most precious resource, but you do you.
I think it's understandable to want wealth, or want to own some nice things. But massive consumerism is not what this website is about. Having it all is expensive, and frankly wasteful. The whole idea here is to work, invest, and spend with purpose rather than toiling away for the sole reason of acquiring piles and piles of expensive trash.
Agree with the introspection. We definitely do not have a clear picture of where our lives will be in 5, 10, 20 years quite yet. I've been in the workforce for nearly 10 years straight out of undergrad, and my wife is about 3 years in since grad school so we are still evolving what that near term and longer term future looks like for us. But, I can see after another career step and reaching a few $M that unless we are truly enjoying the work, the next couple $M won't provide much marginal utility.
The future 'upgrade' I don't quite know what that would be. I doubt it would be more space, but something that would really up quality of life. Maybe something near a lake or in north GA/south TN mountains, more land and out of the busy metro area. Not quite sure yet but it is fun to dream.
Why not just quit your jobs (even if it's in a year or two/when first kid is born) and move somewhere more fun? You've got plenty of money to pull the plug unless you spend it like crazy.
I mean, if you are sure you want to live in Atlanta for a long, long time, then fine. But if you just live there because you have jobs there, there's a whole wide world to explore that you might like better.
I guess one income/asset target would be if we could reach a point where flying 1-2x/month to visit friends/family and not sweat the expense would be VERY freeing! I absolutely dream about living somewhere in the Rockies or where nearly year-round outdoor living is possible. We aren't quite there yet, given the other things we also want near term family and career-wise, however this could really work someday!
We are not at the stage we're looking to retire early (at least not in the next 5 years). Still some career aspirations for us both to explore in the for profit space; however, having worked through a pandemic my wife's definitely had some early exploring of less-financially driven and more service driven jobs in Public Health, for example. I also think before I would leave the workforce, I'd try my hand at a financial leadership role serving a non-profit, govt, or community organization. Not an easy job but those may provide a different kind of fulfillment that corporate jobs do not.
But you are correct, if the assets go way beyond our needs and if our expenses remain low enough, we will not be tied to this location on a permanent basis.
You guys can clearly afford a house in that price range, but try to keep in mind that literally everything changes after you have kids. My wife and I have gone through a pretty similar journey to yours, we're just a few years farther down the road. We shopped like mad for a big nice house in a good school district. Then when the first kid came, we thought we would take a step back and go part time at work for a year, working alternate schedules so we could have the kid at home with us for that crucial first year, and then go back to full time. Six years later and we're still working that schedule, now with two kids. I wouldn't ever, ever trade the hundreds of thousands of dollars in foregone income for those years spent with the kids. My friends that are more on the treadmill barely get time with their kids - drag them out of bed, toss them to daycare, pick them up at daycare, shove dinner at them, then put them in bed. That's not to say they're bad parents! But they just don't get the hours of fun chasing squirrels, flying kites, going to the zoo, tromping through the woods, etc..
This is something I haven't given a ton of thought toward, but I can see the appeal. Having watched my sister, husband and 2 kids (both under 4 yrs old), and both are physicians, that busy 8-6pm work plus kids is HARD! They really don't get a ton of family time on weekdays after coming home, feeding them, playing for an hour, then bath and bed time.
3000-3500sf is a big house, but I can't say it's too big as ours dwarfs even that. If you spend a lot of time at home a big house is nice. If you don't and are going to be gone all the time - maybe it's not so important. We've thought about downsizing but it's hard to imagine once you're used to having the space. As you probably know, everything gets more expensive as the house gets bigger and nicer. We bought ours as a foreclosure so we've had intimate exposure to the costs of repairing and maintaining a large house. The roof - put on before we moved in - was $27k. It's like a normal house roof, just times five in size and complexity... and cost. Everything is like that when you get into these ridiculous monstrosities.
We are somewhat homebodies so part of more home is for space and utility. I do anticipate partially working from home 1-2 days a week beyond the pandemic, so having a separate desk and office space outside of our bedroom would be nice. Apart from a few weeks a year we are on the go, we are mostly at home and my wife really enjoys when she can host/entertain. This is for holidays when people come over, but even just on weekends for dinner, hanging out on patios, cooking and have drinks together with friends.
Having been in the home for a while, any regrets or joys after getting a big home? Obviously there's some of the known items (more utilities, more sqft for anything on floors/walls/paint/etc.). How did you decide on the home size you went after if you don't mind sharing your immediate family situation, extended family and/or friends if they were part of having the large space, any other factors?
