Pssst! You don't have to live somewhere specific to experience culture, or raise your kids in it. I live in a low cost of living area, it's a fairly well-known city, but no big urban area. Living cheaply in my home base as I call it because I grew up here, I am able to leave the country every year, and can travel in country to visit friends. I have always liked the concept of roots, or a homebase. I can come and go as I please and I'll always have a spot to go back to. Cities get old, activities get old, even people become tiresome if it's only one group of people, or one culture. If you like your neighborhood and have good neighbors and a few good friends, that's good enough for a lot of people. But then again I am somewhat of a homebody who really doesn't like to do around town things, I prefer to travel.
My advice is to evaluate your hobbies, do you like hiking, beer, climbing, skiing. What would you do the most of if you have easier access to it? And go from there. I personally don't get impressed by big cities. I think it takes a certain creative, independent soul to not flock to the same old places everyone else is. You'll find some nice gems in small-town living or even not so small town living. I live in a red state, but blue county, and you can find things to do everywhere. For me personally I would find too much to do in the big city, and it feels like it could be taken for granted. Just like anything else it could become mundane.
I have had friends move to a specific part of the city because they enjoyed the restaurants there. And my first thought is well damn, how many times can you eat at the same group of restaurants and not be bored to tears? To me my home is a place to be near family, be comfortable, be a part of the community. I can seek fun anywhere I don't have to seek it in my own backyard even though I do find plenty to do, nothing is stopping me from taking trips to other states. So one thing you could consider is picking a state that's near other states, within a days drive, that have things you'd like to do for a weekend away. With the money you could save, you might be able to travel more and actually see more than any of the big cities would have to offer.