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General Discussion => Post-FIRE => Topic started by: Exhale on March 29, 2015, 09:31:57 AM

Title: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: Exhale on March 29, 2015, 09:31:57 AM
As I read the posts by FIRE folks I see how many deeply enjoy the time to be with their partner. As someone who is single, I'm curious how you imagine your FIRE life would be if you were single (with no kids) - would you travel more? would you still live where you are? would you have more/less pets? Thanks for helping me visualize options for my FIRE life!
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: NinetyFour on March 29, 2015, 09:37:31 AM
Posting to follow along, as another single pre-FIRE but possibly smoldering mustachian...
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: KMMK on March 29, 2015, 09:56:09 AM
More travel. More random volunteering. Also you have more options for cheap/unusual living situations if you don't have to get partner approval - ie. co-housing, tiny houses. Cheaper living expenses, depending on your theoretical partner. More random side-gigs (if you want to work). I'm hoping to pick up some house-sitting gigs.

Personally I don't like the responsibility/work of pets. They tie me down too much. But now I could foster cats where I couldn't before, as my ex was allergic to cats.

So much of this depends on your partner vs your single tastes. As a newly singled person I'm still figuring this stuff out. My ex husband would do all the driving when we'd travel. Now I have to decide if I want to drive myself (super stressful for me) or do different types of travel.

It's also cheaper for me to live singly, but that could be the opposite in the right relationship.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Retired To Win on March 29, 2015, 04:40:21 PM
If I were single and pet-free, I would be FIRE'd on a sailboat in the Caribbean.  My main activities would be coral reef diving, digital nature photography and fishing.  And probably blogging about it all.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: arebelspy on March 29, 2015, 04:45:26 PM
As I read the posts by FIRE folks I see how many deeply enjoy the time to be with their partner. As someone who is single, I'm curious how you imagine your FIRE life would be if you were single (with no kids) - would you travel more? would you still live where you are? would you have more/less pets? Thanks for helping me visualize options for my FIRE life!

My FIRE plans would remain the same.

We're planning on traveling the world constantly.  If something were to happen to my wife, I would still do this.

If we were able to have kids first, I'd keep doing the same.  If we weren't, ditto.

I don't know that I'd be with someone that didn't have similar goals and dreams, personally.  So my SO wouldn't ever be a hindrance to FIRE plans, so FIRE plans remain the same with/without them.  I'm just glad she'll be there along with me!  :)
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: deborah on March 29, 2015, 04:50:08 PM
My SO and I have spent many years apart in the past. Many of my trips are without him. Many of his are without me. We prefer to be together.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Exhale on March 29, 2015, 10:15:41 PM
Thank you arebelspy, Retired To Win and Kestra for sharing your thoughts about being single post-FIRE. I just read Tales of a Female Nomad and The Feast Nearby which got me to wondering about this question. I'm not ruling out being partnered in the future, but also don't want to depend on it happening.

arebelspy - do you plan to teach abroad or is the plan to no longer teach?
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: sheepstache on March 29, 2015, 11:53:19 PM
On my own, I would be happy retiring to some...less developed locale. My partner depends more upon the comforts of American civilization, so my current plans involve staying there. As I would enjoy either plan, I don't consider him a "hindrance."
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: arebelspy on March 30, 2015, 12:34:22 AM
arebelspy - do you plan to teach abroad or is the plan to no longer teach?

We have no plans of paid employment in the near future.

At some point we may teach, either as a fallback income plan or just for the pleasure of it (especially my wife, who feels like she may get bored at some point and want to teach for a year or two), but for now the plan is permanent ER.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: dude on March 30, 2015, 07:39:14 AM
oh man, I don't like to think about this too much.  but basically, I'd be a vagabond.  I probably wouldn't stay in one place more than 3-4 months before I moved on to another, and it would be between mountains and beaches.  S.O. not nearly as adventurous (and doesn't have my wanderlust), so this won't happen, though FIRE should be some "FIRE-Lite" version of this.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Exhale on March 30, 2015, 08:42:25 AM
...if I had retired with no pets, I would have sold off everything I owned, the house, the car, and traveled full time for a few years (living in many different places as long, or as short, as I wanted) and would do as many adventurous and challenging thinks I could stand. Climb ALL the mountains, kayak ALL the rivers, hike ALL the trails, etc... :-)!

Would you be willing to share your solo travel wish list? (But only if it's a fun list to make/share.) I'm interested in what/where would make the cut.

I've done what you describe above twice in my life (except didn't have much stuff to sell) and don't regret either times (one of those was when I landed in the PNW - a very good move).
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Exhale on March 30, 2015, 08:45:49 AM
oh man, I don't like to think about this too much.  but basically, I'd be a vagabond.  I probably wouldn't stay in one place more than 3-4 months before I moved on to another, and it would be between mountains and beaches.  S.O. not nearly as adventurous (and doesn't have my wanderlust), so this won't happen, though FIRE should be some "FIRE-Lite" version of this.

You might want to check out Tales of a Female Nomad - she does just that (moving from place to place) and has a great time, gets to know people, spends part of the year near her kids, etc. Might show your SO the attractive side of this way of life.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Exhale on March 30, 2015, 08:49:40 AM
I plan to FIRE single + dog (no kids). Looking forward to having a permanent home-base (I've been traveling/house-sitting for the past several years)....Plan to travel for ~3-4 months in the summer when the weather is miserable in FL, stay with family/friends in northern US/Canada...

I think this will be what I do as well - live two different places according to weather. I'm being priced out of my city (and don't care for city life) so not sure where I'll land. Good for you know you have a home base in your FL home.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Cookie78 on March 30, 2015, 09:56:54 AM
oh man, I don't like to think about this too much.  but basically, I'd be a vagabond.  I probably wouldn't stay in one place more than 3-4 months before I moved on to another, and it would be between mountains and beaches.  S.O. not nearly as adventurous (and doesn't have my wanderlust), so this won't happen, though FIRE should be some "FIRE-Lite" version of this.

You might want to check out Tales of a Female Nomad - she does just that (moving from place to place) and has a great time, gets to know people, spends part of the year near her kids, etc. Might show your SO the attractive side of this way of life.

Ugh, not available at my library. :( But her second book is there 'Female Nomad and Friends'. Hopefully it's just as good.

I'm 'single' when I fill out government forms, but I have a boyfriend. When I'm FIRE I'd like to travel like the description above. For the first couple years I imagine I will go back and forth between being close to my family in northern Canada in the summer (there is a family cabin there I can use for free), and in Phoenix with my boyfriend in the winter, and if I keep my house part way between the two, I'll spend time there too. I'd probably rent the main floor to trusted friends if possible, and keep the walkout basement suite available for when I need it. I could also rent one of the rooms in the basement. If it's not possible to rent to trusted people, I may just sell it.

I currently have a dog who is almost 6 years old. He loves road trips, but I will not get any more pets after he is gone so that I have more flexibility to travel. By the time I am FI he will either be old or gone. If I FI earlier than expected he will have no problem traveling around North America with me as described above.

Eventually I'd like to do Alaska to Argentina, then everywhere else.  Especially Asia, I haven't been to Asia yet. This may happen after boyfriend is also FI, or maybe he will decide he doesn't enjoy travel as much as I do. Time will tell.

I also picture having a small quiet and self-sufficient home base to return to. Somewhere with a garden, lots of land, and maybe dogs again if I feel like settling in one place for awhile (I'd like to adopt older dogs). Small house, large shop, and no neighbors within half a mile.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: dude on March 30, 2015, 01:07:58 PM


I currently have a dog who is almost 6 years old. He loves road trips, but I will not get any more pets after he is gone so that I have more flexibility to travel. By the time I am FI he will either be old or gone. If I FI earlier than expected he will have no problem traveling around North America with me as described above.


ditto -- we have a large breed dog who is nearing the end of his life expectancy (but hopefully not too soon, because I love him more than words can express), and I suggested to my S.O. once that we probably shouldn't get another one because I'd like to travel a lot in retirement -- she didn't take that so well; said we have to have a dog because we are dog people . . .  so I have some work to do.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Cookie78 on March 30, 2015, 01:33:48 PM


I currently have a dog who is almost 6 years old. He loves road trips, but I will not get any more pets after he is gone so that I have more flexibility to travel. By the time I am FI he will either be old or gone. If I FI earlier than expected he will have no problem traveling around North America with me as described above.


ditto -- we have a large breed dog who is nearing the end of his life expectancy (but hopefully not too soon, because I love him more than words can express), and I suggested to my S.O. once that we probably shouldn't get another one because I'd like to travel a lot in retirement -- she didn't take that so well; said we have to have a dog because we are dog people . . .  so I have some work to do.

I'd highly recommend fostering dogs to have the best of both worlds. You don't have to pay for any of the costs and you don't have the long term commitment. But you get the love and benefits of having dogs around, plus you get to drastically improve their lives and their chances of being adopted into a forever home. Also, if you love puppies, you can choose to foster puppies. If you prefer older dogs you can decide to only foster older dogs. Big dogs, small dogs, whichever you want. If you like a challenge and prefer to have dogs for longer than a month or two, foster a hard to adopt dog who needs special care, either medically or behaviorally.

I know people have a hard time with the thought that you eventually need to say goodbye to the dog when they get adopted, but in my experience it's a small price to pay for the experiences they bring and the feeling I get knowing I've helped them get a better life.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: MsRichLife on March 31, 2015, 04:47:53 AM
Single and no kids? I'd be travelling....a lot!
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: expatartist on March 31, 2015, 05:15:10 AM
I would spend:
* December-February in SE Asia (Thailand, Philippines, Malaysia, or Bali/traveling Indonesia depending on projects)
* March-May in Sicily and/or Greece
* June-August in various non-Schengen countries near the EU (ie Morocco, the UK, Turkey, depending on projects)
* Sept-Nov in Sicily and/Greece

Locations are chosen according to weather, (mostly) affordable off-peak travel, opportunities for art projects and art material research, and to make the most of my holiday rentals. Funny, today I'd been trying to imagine what I'd do if FI alone, wrote this down, felt better about my current situation, and later read your post.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: JoJo on April 01, 2015, 09:24:10 AM
I'm hoping to FIRE in 18 months.  Right now here's my plan for the first year of FIRE:

* One month in US with family (no work)
* 5 months traveling by land from Gibralter to Cape Town via west Africa with Oasis Overland
* 2-3 months traveling South Africa & Lesotho
* 3 months in Madagascar
* 2-3 months island hopping Mauritius, Reunion & Seychelles
* One month back in the US with family.

This will be a fairly expensive year but I plan on making the next year much cheaper (slower travel, either in central america or eastern europe & caucasus or india & nepal).  I'm actually going to try for the 30 days or less in the US to avoid ACA but purchase an expat health insurance policy (which is about $200 a month).
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Exhale on April 01, 2015, 09:46:46 PM
I would spend:
* December-February in SE Asia (Thailand, Philippines, Malaysia, or Bali/traveling Indonesia depending on projects)
* March-May in Sicily and/or Greece
* June-August in various non-Schengen countries near the EU (ie Morocco, the UK, Turkey, depending on projects)
* Sept-Nov in Sicily and/Greece

Locations are chosen according to weather, (mostly) affordable off-peak travel, opportunities for art projects and art material research, and to make the most of my holiday rentals. Funny, today I'd been trying to imagine what I'd do if FI alone, wrote this down, felt better about my current situation, and later read your post.

Thanks for the new term - "Schengen countries" (knew about it, but not what it was called).

Will it be hard to transport your art supplies or do you do more site-specific work? Would you return to the same places each year?
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Exhale on April 01, 2015, 09:54:57 PM
I'm hoping to FIRE in 18 months.  Right now here's my plan for the first year of FIRE:
* One month in US with family (no work)
* 5 months traveling by land from Gibralter to Cape Town via west Africa with Oasis Overland
* 2-3 months traveling South Africa & Lesotho
* 3 months in Madagascar
* 2-3 months island hopping Mauritius, Reunion & Seychelles
* One month back in the US with family.


Wow - that an amazing itinerary! Looking at it I realized how differently people handle moving into their FIRE life
- You'll be hitting the road (after time with family)
- Jon Snow focused on getting healthy & fit
- Others have moved to PT work (even though they were FI) before proceeding to the RE part of FIRE

Do you envision continuing to do a lot of traveling after these first couple years of trips or do you have other things you'll focus on after the big trips?
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Exhale on April 01, 2015, 09:56:29 PM
Single and no kids? I'd be travelling....a lot!

Solo travel? Or would you go with groups (or friends)?
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: MsRichLife on April 02, 2015, 03:55:29 AM
Single and no kids? I'd be travelling....a lot!

Solo travel? Or would you go with groups (or friends)?

Speaking hypothetically (because I'm not single and I have toddler), I'd mix it up.

I'm exceptionally lucky to have friends all over the world so I'd plan to visit them, do some solo travel and maybe an Intrepid trip here and there when I wanted the company and didn't want to deal with logistics. In fact many of the people I call my friends I've met on an Intrepid trip and stayed in touch. I might organise to travel with them since they are usually single women with a bad case of wanderlust like myself. They make good travelling companions.

As it stands, DH doesn't love to travel, so my most enjoyable trips have been with girlfriends or on my own. When our son is a bit older and we live close to his grandparents I might start going away on my own again. I feel like a piece of me is missing when I don't get to travel.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: deborah on April 02, 2015, 04:59:27 AM
I haven't traveled for more than 20 years, and suddenly in the next year I will do more international trips than I have ever done!
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: JoJo on April 02, 2015, 12:04:45 PM
I'm hoping to FIRE in 18 months.  Right now here's my plan for the first year of FIRE:
* One month in US with family (no work)
* 5 months traveling by land from Gibralter to Cape Town via west Africa with Oasis Overland
* 2-3 months traveling South Africa & Lesotho
* 3 months in Madagascar
* 2-3 months island hopping Mauritius, Reunion & Seychelles
* One month back in the US with family.


Wow - that an amazing itinerary! Looking at it I realized how differently people handle moving into their FIRE life
- You'll be hitting the road (after time with family)
- Jon Snow focused on getting healthy & fit
- Others have moved to PT work (even though they were FI) before proceeding to the RE part of FIRE

Do you envision continuing to do a lot of traveling after these first couple years of trips or do you have other things you'll focus on after the big trips?

I actually did the long term travel thing from age 31-33 and it's best not to plan too much in advance.  You meet people, you like places much more that you thought you would.  I my case, I cut 2 years of full on travel to 12 months full on travel + 1 month with family (wedding + traveling in the US, and reflecting on what I wanted to do with the next year of my life) + 7 months teaching english in Ecuador, which was one of my favorite spots from the prior year and I had made some good friends there.   One thing I learned about full on travel is that at some point it starts to feel tedious and then you want to settle down for awhile (In my case of a year, I spend a full month in two different places along the way which really helped).

That's one advantage of being single - you don't really need to plan  and you can  change your mind when you want.  I may choose to keep traveling, or settle down, or work or take classes or volunteer somewhere, or whatever.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: WYOGO on April 04, 2015, 08:01:44 PM
oh man, I don't like to think about this too much.  but basically, I'd be a vagabond.  I probably wouldn't stay in one place more than 3-4 months before I moved on to another, and it would be between mountains and beaches.  S.O. not nearly as adventurous (and doesn't have my wanderlust), so this won't happen, though FIRE should be some "FIRE-Lite" version of this.

And I thought it was just me lol
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: FIRE me on April 05, 2015, 01:21:26 AM
As someone who is single, I'm curious how you imagine your FIRE life would be if you were single (with no kids)

To quote the wise philosopher Bender (of Futurama), “What I want, when I want, who I want.” Seriously, even pre-FIRE I enjoy being able to do whatever I want without having to seek any Significant Other's approval.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: use2betrix on April 05, 2015, 05:37:26 AM
My gf shares all the same hobbies and enjoys all the same travel as me. Whether it's hiking, mountain biking, camping, weightlifing, you name it. She's been doing all of these things with me the last several years I would have a hard time imagine having to do them solo.

That being said, I feel kids are what will put such a major damper on all those things for many years, and unfortunately I'm spending a lot of time working up until that point as well. I'm sure I will love children but still.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: WYOGO on April 05, 2015, 05:11:46 PM
As someone who is single, I'm curious how you imagine your FIRE life would be if you were single (with no kids)

To quote the wise philosopher Bender (of Futurama), “What I want, when I want, who I want.” Seriously, even pre-FIRE I enjoy being able to do whatever I want without having to seek any Significant Other's approval.

It is a beautiful thing. Perhaps more beautiful if two people are completely on the same page but this is rare indeed.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: expatartist on April 05, 2015, 08:05:24 PM
Will it be hard to transport your art supplies or do you do more site-specific work? Would you return to the same places each year?

Good questions!

My main artform is portable/site-specific (19th-century photo process).

The plan would be to return to the same places each year, or every couple of years, building networks as we go. I'm/We're building towards this now: we have a (tiny, very cheap) home base in Sicily, another we'll renovate eventually in another town, I'm in the process of purchasing a studio in Athens now, with another planned in Palermo. These would either be holiday rentals or longer-term rentals to locals, we could stay in them - or not, depending on our tenant situation.

If I were to become single for some reason, the Schengen restrictions will apply; with DH as a UK citizen it's not such a concern.

@JoJo, what expat insurance are you considering which is a mere $200/month? That's a great rate!
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Cinder on April 05, 2015, 08:19:20 PM
If I were single and pet-free, I would be FIRE'd on a sailboat in the Caribbean.  My main activities would be coral reef diving, digital nature photography and fishing.  And probably blogging about it all.

+1 .. I spent some time on tall-ships, and that would be a great life for a solo FIRE mustascian.. you volunteer your time with a vessel, get food and a bunk to sleep in, and you sail all the time and meet great people!

Some quick links that come to mind...
http://www.sailtraining.org/
www.kalmarnyckel.org
www.soic.se
http://www.picton-castle.com/
http://www.hermione2015.com/
http://www.sailbaltimore.org/ship-prideofbaltimoreii/ http://www.pride2.org/
http://historicalseaport.org/about-us/our-vessels/lady-washington/
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: scrubbyfish on April 05, 2015, 08:52:58 PM
Single, free (though I do raise a kid), and I'm living my perfect life right now. It involves: daydreaming, drinking tea, working on projects, hanging with neighbours and friends, raising my kid, walking through quiet countryside, therapy, reading, helping neighbours with their physical projects (decluttering, gardening, etc), learning (lots on this forum, but also books, study groups, soon an art class), resting, and napping.

I think it helps that, although I'm definitely warm and sociable, I'm an introvert so my joy is high in solitude.

When my kid is grown, I will go to shamanism school, or university (probably business and marketing), or theological college, or do case advocacy for people marginalized by various circumstances. Or build, sponsor, and run a transition house.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Cookie78 on April 05, 2015, 09:38:13 PM
If I were single and pet-free, I would be FIRE'd on a sailboat in the Caribbean.  My main activities would be coral reef diving, digital nature photography and fishing.  And probably blogging about it all.

+1 .. I spent some time on tall-ships, and that would be a great life for a solo FIRE mustascian.. you volunteer your time with a vessel, get food and a bunk to sleep in, and you sail all the time and meet great people!

Some quick links that come to mind...
http://www.sailtraining.org/
www.kalmarnyckel.org
www.soic.se
http://www.picton-castle.com/
http://www.hermione2015.com/
http://www.sailbaltimore.org/ship-prideofbaltimoreii/ http://www.pride2.org/
http://historicalseaport.org/about-us/our-vessels/lady-washington/

Thank you! I love this idea!
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: scrubbyfish on April 05, 2015, 10:14:55 PM
I actually did the long term travel thing [...] it's best not to plan too much in advance.  You meet people, you like places much more that you thought you would.

ha, yes! Twice I went someplace far away "for two weeks", emerging from it a year later :)    Another time I went somewhere far away "for, I guess, ever" and was done 5 months later. I learned to keep return flight/drive dates wide open.

Funny, although I'm totally fine with it (e.g., will go when a partner or kid wants to), I can't quite grasp the appeal of travel now. I think after some years of wandering near and far I hit saturation at one point and haven't craved it since. But after a year or two in a place, I do start itching to relocate (immerse in different aspects of the earth, meet new people, experience a new region's norms, etc). A partner or pet can interfere with that, but happily a kid doesn't, so I've continued that. I do feel some internal pressure to keep Kid connected with his relatives, so except for shorter trips have stayed somewhat near them since he was born, but we've still managed to pull off four relocations, a trip across the world, and many regional trips.

Most of my wanderings were done as a solo female.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: DollarBill on April 23, 2015, 02:06:25 PM
I've recently retired (Single, no kids but one older dog). I love him but it does hold me back on the travels. So for now I've been focusing on my health/fitness (Dropped almost 30 lbs since January). The only travels I've had are to family/friends houses. I told all my friends to keep me in mind if something is going on and give me at least a 3 days heads up so I can find a dog sitter, that gives me 2 days to drive anywhere (I'm pretty centralized in Kansas). I've already taken a few spur of the moment trips: like friends call me up hey come on over we have some meat in the smoker...ok I'll be there, give me a couple of hours for the drive. I also plan to make both my family reunions this year...this will be the first time in 20 some years.

After my DD (Dear Dog lol) goes then it's game on for travels. Still trying to decide if I want to sell the house or have a home base.

I'd like to find a SO or travel buddy but it's hard to find someone who is FI, single and adventurous. Until that happens I'm perfectly happy by myself.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Cookie78 on April 23, 2015, 02:14:46 PM
I've recently retired (Single, no kids but one older dog). I love him but it does hold me back on the travels. So for now I've been focusing on my health/fitness (Dropped almost 30 lbs since January). The only travels I've had are to family/friends houses. I told all my friends to keep me in mind if something is going on and give me at least a 3 days heads up so I can find a dog sitter, that gives me 2 days to drive anywhere (I'm pretty centralized in Kansas). I've already taken a few spur of the moment trips: like friends call me up hey come on over we have some meat in the smoker...ok I'll be there, give me a couple of hours for the drive. I also plan to make both my family reunions this year...this will be the first time in 20 some years.

After my DD (Dear Dog lol) goes then it's game on for travels. Still trying to decide if I want to sell the house or have a home base.

I'd like to find a SO or travel buddy but it's hard to find someone who is FI, single and adventurous. Until that happens I'm perfectly happy by myself.

DD! I love it. I'm in the same situation with the dog. Well, that and I'm not quite FIREd yet (hopefully just 27 more months). DD is 6 and going strong, so may have a few years left. After that I'll be your travel buddy.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: AmbitiousCanuck on April 23, 2015, 02:38:59 PM
oh man, I don't like to think about this too much.  but basically, I'd be a vagabond.  I probably wouldn't stay in one place more than 3-4 months before I moved on to another, and it would be between mountains and beaches.  S.O. not nearly as adventurous (and doesn't have my wanderlust), so this won't happen, though FIRE should be some "FIRE-Lite" version of this.

And I thought it was just me lol

I am another one in this pile.  My S.O. is not as adventurous as me.  If I make the plans she will go along with it, but she is not driven to new experiences and places like I am, so it means I am always dragging her along.  If I was single and FIRE, I would keep my possessions as light as possible and move around often.  If I felt like staying in a place for several years, I would, or if I wanted to move on quickly, I would do that too.  The logistics are much more complicated when its two people.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Exhale on April 23, 2015, 07:19:32 PM
Single, free (though I do raise a kid), and I'm living my perfect life right now. It involves: daydreaming, drinking tea, working on projects, hanging with neighbours and friends, raising my kid, walking through quiet countryside, therapy, reading, helping neighbours with their physical projects (decluttering, gardening, etc), learning (lots on this forum, but also books, study groups, soon an art class), resting, and napping.

I think it helps that, although I'm definitely warm and sociable, I'm an introvert so my joy is high in solitude.

When my kid is grown, I will go to shamanism school, or university (probably business and marketing), or theological college, or do case advocacy for people marginalized by various circumstances. Or build, sponsor, and run a transition house.

Wow, so cool scrubbyfish. I loved hearing about the ways in which you connect with community as well as ideas for the future. Hope your share some of those adventures with us!
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: PeteD01 on April 24, 2015, 10:07:18 AM
I'd go to India, study Sanskrit and smoke pot while contemplating the next step - or something in that vein.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Cougar on April 24, 2015, 01:24:50 PM

well, i am single; and now that i'm a mmm convert i imagine the women willing to agree the my minimalist lifestyle is a small pool.

if it am still at fire, i;ll be traveling all over the lower 48; sleeping in tents as much as possible. i know a mmm trait is to drop the car, but i'd like to be able to spend a week or two getting to know cities and scenic places all over the usa. like spending two weeks around asheville, nc or portland, or would be great; i hear they're great places to live and i've barely seen them.

not having a car limits that dream a lot.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: 2Birds1Stone on April 24, 2015, 01:30:09 PM
Collect STD's from A-Z at wild sex parties all over the globe.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: The Pigeon on April 24, 2015, 01:56:34 PM
I'm single (and love it!) and i plan to pour myself into my guitar playing, and would like to attend music college, and acquire a useless degree in jazz performance! :-D

Additional education I'd want to pursue is updating my web development skills and restart my Japanese and/or French study.

Travel wise, I'd love to see Europe. And meander about the USA (learn to RV?) -- see Alaska and Utah's southwestern parks. See upstate New York area in an unhurried fashion. Maybe bird watching in Costa Rica?

I enjoy solo travel, so being single is no obstacle. My pets, however, are! (Boarding bills ahoy).

-pigeon

Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Chuck on April 24, 2015, 02:09:06 PM
Honestly? Have sex with as many women from as many countries as I could.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: DollarBill on April 24, 2015, 03:03:07 PM
I've recently retired (Single, no kids but one older dog). I love him but it does hold me back on the travels. So for now I've been focusing on my health/fitness (Dropped almost 30 lbs since January). The only travels I've had are to family/friends houses. I told all my friends to keep me in mind if something is going on and give me at least a 3 days heads up so I can find a dog sitter, that gives me 2 days to drive anywhere (I'm pretty centralized in Kansas). I've already taken a few spur of the moment trips: like friends call me up hey come on over we have some meat in the smoker...ok I'll be there, give me a couple of hours for the drive. I also plan to make both my family reunions this year...this will be the first time in 20 some years.

After my DD (Dear Dog lol) goes then it's game on for travels. Still trying to decide if I want to sell the house or have a home base.

I'd like to find a SO or travel buddy but it's hard to find someone who is FI, single and adventurous. Until that happens I'm perfectly happy by myself.

DD! I love it. I'm in the same situation with the dog. Well, that and I'm not quite FIREd yet (hopefully just 27 more months). DD is 6 and going strong, so may have a few years left. After that I'll be your travel buddy.
My DD is also 6ish but she's my travel buddy now since I'm FIRE'd already. I just travel North America and I generally car/tent camp (occasional Motel 6's where there is no extra pet fee/night like most motels) and have both a bike trailer and a handlebar basket to put her in, as well as a backpack I carry her in if on long hikes when she gets tired. It can be VERY limiting though but still fun.  I was always planning on selling the house this Spring to travel full time WITH the dog, but after doing some multi-month long trips with her I think I really want a home base somewhere to come back to and chill for awhile. Probably save the full timing until after she is gone.

I have 4 extra bedrooms...Maybe we should spilt a home base??? :)
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Duchess of Stratosphear on April 26, 2015, 08:22:13 AM
Thanks for the link to the Women on Wheels site! That's what I want to do, but I'll be in my 50s when I retire (if I'm lucky) and I just hope I feel up to it then (I wonder if I could do it now!) I have a 10+ yo dog, and I debate getting another dog--I'm 11.5 years away from FI (fingers crossed). Maybe a small dog I can take with me like somebody else mentioned. I'd like to bike all over the U.S. and at some point maybe take a cargo ship to Europe and bike there for a few months. Maybe I'll take a year or two to travel and then return home and get pets again? It's such a long way off, anything could happen.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: DollarBill on April 26, 2015, 08:59:11 AM
I've recently retired (Single, no kids but one older dog). I love him but it does hold me back on the travels. So for now I've been focusing on my health/fitness (Dropped almost 30 lbs since January). The only travels I've had are to family/friends houses. I told all my friends to keep me in mind if something is going on and give me at least a 3 days heads up so I can find a dog sitter, that gives me 2 days to drive anywhere (I'm pretty centralized in Kansas). I've already taken a few spur of the moment trips: like friends call me up hey come on over we have some meat in the smoker...ok I'll be there, give me a couple of hours for the drive. I also plan to make both my family reunions this year...this will be the first time in 20 some years.

After my DD (Dear Dog lol) goes then it's game on for travels. Still trying to decide if I want to sell the house or have a home base.

I'd like to find a SO or travel buddy but it's hard to find someone who is FI, single and adventurous. Until that happens I'm perfectly happy by myself.

DD! I love it. I'm in the same situation with the dog. Well, that and I'm not quite FIREd yet (hopefully just 27 more months). DD is 6 and going strong, so may have a few years left. After that I'll be your travel buddy.
My DD is also 6ish but she's my travel buddy now since I'm FIRE'd already. I just travel North America and I generally car/tent camp (occasional Motel 6's where there is no extra pet fee/night like most motels) and have both a bike trailer and a handlebar basket to put her in, as well as a backpack I carry her in if on long hikes when she gets tired. It can be VERY limiting though but still fun.  I was always planning on selling the house this Spring to travel full time WITH the dog, but after doing some multi-month long trips with her I think I really want a home base somewhere to come back to and chill for awhile. Probably save the full timing until after she is gone.

I have 4 extra bedrooms...Maybe we should spilt a home base??? :)
Ha ha - That's like a whole house each!! I have a 3 bedroom place I live in alone (it must be our ex's who needed all that space because minimalist me sure doesn't) so we'd have to rent out one and share the other. Lets see... where to live? A beach community in SoCal or somewhere in Kansas? Decisions, decisions :-)! Of course I'd love to be totally house-free but that won't happen yet like I had hoped and planned for. So the plan now is to downsize to something smaller (but have no idea where!) and just rent this time if possible - and to continue travelling part time from where ever that home base ends up being.
I bought it before I became so enlightened. Now I think about down sizing all the time but also don't know where to go. Playing V-ball on the beach in Socal sounds more my speed but would probably be double the cost. I'm leaning toward Arizona and Texas...but what I really need to do is go travel in a RV for a year just to see what I can discover. I just don't know if I want to do it by myself.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Exhale on April 26, 2015, 12:53:35 PM
I've recently retired (Single, no kids but one older dog). I love him but it does hold me back on the travels...After my DD (Dear Dog lol) goes then it's game on for travels. Still trying to decide if I want to sell the house or have a home base...I'd like to find a SO or travel buddy but it's hard to find someone who is FI, single and adventurous. Until that happens I'm perfectly happy by myself.
DD! I love it. I'm in the same situation with the dog. Well, that and I'm not quite FIREd yet (hopefully just 27 more months). DD is 6 and going strong, so may have a few years left. After that I'll be your travel buddy.
My DD is also 6ish but she's my travel buddy now since I'm FIRE'd already...I was always planning on selling the house this Spring to travel full time WITH the dog, but after doing some multi-month long trips with her I think I really want a home base somewhere to come back to and chill for awhile. Probably save the full timing until after she is gone.
I have 4 extra bedrooms...Maybe we should spilt a home base??? :)
Ha ha - That's like a whole house each!! I have a 3 bedroom place I live in alone...so we'd have to rent out one and share the other. Lets see... where to live? A beach community in SoCal or somewhere in Kansas? Decisions, decisions :-)! Of course I'd love to be totally house-free but that won't happen yet like I had hoped and planned for. So the plan now is to downsize to something smaller (but have no idea where!) and just rent this time if possible - and to continue travelling part time from where ever that home base ends up being.

If it's in SoCal, count me in for a room and help with dogsitting since my idea of a great FIRE is gardening, writing and hanging out with dogs. :-)
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: scrubbyfish on April 27, 2015, 08:44:48 AM
Maybe we should start a "Home For Single Wayward Mustashians" :-)!

Yes, please! I plan to become wayward after my son finishes growing.

spartana, what about hosting via a housesitter/petsitter website? There's also Servas, etc, which are phenomenal, but for the latter you're supposed to be around, whereas the former allows you to take off. Win win. I've met some excellent people who work/travel through the housesitter/petsitter sites. They come with ratings and reviews -you can choose one with excellent reviews in abundance for your dog's care.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: scrubbyfish on April 27, 2015, 09:44:54 AM
Your situation sounds similar to mine, just replace dog with kid :)   So, not weird (to me) at all! My kid and I are perfectly happy to have a couple of days apart once in a while -and, more recently, even six days once or twice a year- but it would kill us to be separated for much longer. My kid travels extremely well, but it's so helpful for us to have a homebase to return to. When I'm done ("extroverted-out"), we just walk in to the quiet, stillness, simplicity. He can take off with friends. Etc. I don't want to own again, but situations like my current one -a small, cheap, perfect place in paradise- that I can return to is just right.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: bb11 on May 23, 2015, 08:20:45 PM
I would also be doing some form of perpetual travel, maybe with a home base. Hard to know what else other than that.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: Exhale on May 24, 2015, 10:31:54 AM
I don't want to own again, but situations like my current one - a small, cheap, perfect place in paradise - that I can return to is just right.

Loved this Scrubbyfish! Where would be FIRE paradise for you? My ideal FIRE is a small place in easy proximity to a big long dog-friendly beach (with a couple of jaunts in winter to go hiking in sunny places).
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: scrubbyfish on May 24, 2015, 01:51:23 PM
Loved this Scrubbyfish! Where would be FIRE paradise for you? My ideal FIRE is a small place in easy proximity to a big long dog-friendly beach (with a couple of jaunts in winter to go hiking in sunny places).

Exactly, 100% where I am right now. So:
inside a tiny, simple home which is
inside a sweet, heart-centered intentional community which is
inside a tiny, sweet, kind, friendly, artistic, diverse, near-silent rural village which is
inside stunning inland geography, with all four seasons, under wide open skies which is
inside a day's drive of all family members, and
within a short, gorgeous drive of everything else we need (groceries, etc)

The ONLY thing I would change in my current situation is for ALL family members to be on the mainland vs across a ferry. Currently ~20 are within a 4-5 hour drive. The ferries to see two of our closest family members off the mainland almost double that.

I'm in my paradise!
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: Thegoblinchief on May 25, 2015, 12:13:41 PM
I'd probably travel a lot, either on foot or by bike. I think my wife might be up for that once the kids are gone, to some degree, but probably not at my level.

Traveling with others is stressful for me. I really like to wander at my own pace. My idea of perfect travel days would be a really long hike, bike tour, or wandering a giant museum all by myself.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: Exhale on May 25, 2015, 06:55:42 PM
Where would be FIRE paradise for you?
Exactly, 100% where I am right now....I'm in my paradise!

Kudos!
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: Exhale on May 25, 2015, 06:57:31 PM
I really like to wander at my own pace. My idea of perfect travel days would be a really long hike, bike tour, or wandering a giant museum all by myself.

A truly wonderful way to travel!
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: patrickza on June 05, 2015, 04:23:26 AM
If I were single and pet-free, I would be FIRE'd on a sailboat in the Caribbean.  My main activities would be coral reef diving, digital nature photography and fishing.  And probably blogging about it all.

+1 .. I spent some time on tall-ships, and that would be a great life for a solo FIRE mustascian.. you volunteer your time with a vessel, get food and a bunk to sleep in, and you sail all the time and meet great people!

Some quick links that come to mind...
http://www.sailtraining.org/
www.kalmarnyckel.org
www.soic.se
http://www.picton-castle.com/
http://www.hermione2015.com/
http://www.sailbaltimore.org/ship-prideofbaltimoreii/ http://www.pride2.org/
http://historicalseaport.org/about-us/our-vessels/lady-washington/

Thanks for the links, that is exactly the type of fire life I'd like. Sounds like an amazing adventure.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: MandyM on June 05, 2015, 08:59:14 AM
Having a built in pet sitter via a roommate is a great idea though ...

I currently have a roommate that is my petsitter. The best part is that she loves my dog as much as I do - I once talked about taking my dog with me on a weekend trip and she got angry with me! She often refers to him as her emotional support dog.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: davisgang90 on June 05, 2015, 09:07:52 AM
I would travel the world taking photos, especially night long exposures of the sky in the western part of the U.S.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: Helvegen on June 05, 2015, 11:40:48 AM
If I were single with no kid, I would probably live out of an RV for awhile, traveling around. Eventually, I'd probably go back to land I bought prior to FIRE and live on it.

I know one thing for certain, I'd have a lot less crap. My husband is a lover of 'stuff'.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: JasonK on June 08, 2015, 08:13:37 PM
I'm single, no kids, never married, and FIREd about 2 years ago at the age of 43. 

I spent the first ~1 year rehabbing a house I bought.  I'm a golfer and found a cool lake/golf community in east Texas where you can play golf for free, so I moved from Dallas into the piney woods about an hour east.  Now that the house is finished I spend about 4 months of the year traveling, about 4 months of the year relaxing at home (I'm kind of a homebody), and about 4 months of the year rehabbing the newest edition or two to my rent houses.  Like MMM I love doing that kind of stuff.

Taking piano lessons, read a lot, Crossfit regularly, spend a lot of time with friends enjoying adult beverages, a lot more time with family now, found an awesome GF although she has kids so unfortunately can't join me much on my travels.  Pretty much just figuring it out as I go along.  Thinking of learning Spanish like JD Roth did when he retired.

If I were younger and hadn't traveled so much during my working years I'd probably travel and chase women full time.  Just doesn't have the same appeal anymore ~ I'll leave that to the younger guys out there. 

Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: Jon_Snow on June 08, 2015, 08:28:29 PM
This feels a bit like heresy saying this...I mean, my wife is THE ONE, and I can't imagine desiring a life without her.

BUT...I will say that life, in several respects, would be SIMPLER. The relationships mechanics of a non-working spouse/working spouse is, at times, a tricky road to navigate.

Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: RetiredAt63 on June 09, 2015, 05:34:21 PM
So keep encouraging her to retire ;-)


This feels a bit like heresy saying this...I mean, my wife is THE ONE, and I can't imagine desiring a life without her.

BUT...I will say that life, in several respects, would be SIMPLER. The relationships mechanics of a non-working spouse/working spouse is, at times, a tricky road to navigate.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: scrubbyfish on June 09, 2015, 05:47:28 PM
This feels a bit like heresy saying this...I mean, my wife is THE ONE, and I can't imagine desiring a life without her.

BUT...I will say that life, in several respects, would be SIMPLER. The relationships mechanics of a non-working spouse/working spouse is, at times, a tricky road to navigate.

I feel this way about having a kid, and I'm sure others do about having their pet(s). Sharing life with any other being limits our "freedom" to some degree, but we all find it totally worth the slight bit of complication/limitations/etc. My son refuses to ER from Grade 4, which is driving me a bit batty at the moment, as I feel ready to hit the road, but he's definitely worth it!!! :)   I will wait here for him, happily!
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: Exhale on June 09, 2015, 08:49:02 PM
This feels a bit like heresy saying this...I mean, my wife is THE ONE, and I can't imagine desiring a life without her.
BUT...I will say that life, in several respects, would be SIMPLER. The relationships mechanics of a non-working spouse/working spouse is, at times, a tricky road to navigate.

I feel this way about having a kid, and I'm sure others do about having their pet(s). Sharing life with any other being limits our "freedom" to some degree, but we all find it totally worth the slight bit of complication/limitations/etc. My son refuses to ER from Grade 4, which is driving me a bit batty at the moment, as I feel ready to hit the road, but he's definitely worth it!!! :)   I will wait here for him, happily!

Thank you Jon_Snow and scrubbyfish for responding to this question, especially given your deep and thoughtful commitment to your special peeps. I'd welcome being partnered with someone special, but that's not the case and so it made me think about what FIRE looks like when one is single. Certainly being single (without kids/pets) allows for lots of flexibility. What I recognize is that, for me, FIRE will be a time of relationships including fostering dogs (something that I can't do right now given my work hours) and investing energy freed up from work into a social life.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if you were single
Post by: Retired To Win on June 17, 2015, 04:17:29 PM
If I were single with no kid, I would probably live out of an RV for awhile, traveling around...

And I would try living on a sailboat again.  Except this time I'd try to do it in the Netherlands Antilles (if they'd let me do it, of course).

If that proved "too hard" at my old-fart point in life, I'd go for the RV thing as well.
Title: Re: Your post-FIRE life if your were single
Post by: Bracken_Joy on June 17, 2015, 04:35:18 PM
Single and no kids? I'd be travelling....a lot!

Solo travel? Or would you go with groups (or friends)?

I ended up (unexpectedly) traveling along through central america for a while. As a young single female (I was 19, and I looked about 14 or 15), this was a less than ideal situation from a safety perspective (I had a run in that scared me out of my wits, but I wasn't going to throw in the towel yet). What I found is that Hostels are an excellent place to start. I made some close friends. While we wouldn't always travel place to place together, we would share our next couple planned stops, and I often ran into people again. This provided me both with a social outlet and with a safety net.

Travel doesn't need to be lonely =)