General Discussion > Post-FIRE

Your impressions of "DECOMPRESSION"??

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Trudie:
Just FIREd a little less than a month ago, so am still very much in decompression mode.   I realize these are very early days.  Most people who are FIRE talk about this period, how long it takes, and what it feels like.  I'm interested in other peoples' experiences with it, how long it took, what the challenges were, and how you sorted through them.

Right now I'm okay with it, because I see how good the rest has been for my health and my relationships.  I'm more well-rested and way less stressed about getting things done. 
So far I've used this time to volunteer, work out, bake bread, catch up with friends, attend (free!) lectures and concerts, plan my veg garden, work on personal finance stuff, do some small home projects (just getting started).

Overall, I feel pretty content, but I still have doubts.  Like, the doubts creep through at times when I am physically tired or I see something specific that triggers it.  I left a job that was deeply unsatisfying at the end, and felt immense relief when I left.  Still, although I can say I'm not obsessing about it, I still sometimes have a hard time with some negative feelings about it.  How did others put this stuff behind them? I try not to think about how things are now that I'm gone and I don't "go there" with old work friends, but it was a hard place where none were appreciated and valued.  So, it leads to feelings of being "less than."  That's the core of why I left... well, other than having FU money.

And even though I've done the math many, many times I still question:  "Are we REALLY FI?"  Technically my husband still works so we can get health insurance and bridge things until he's 59 1/2 in a few more years.  We have enough retirement savings now to meet our baseline budget, and are continuing to save, albeit at a lesser rate.  And then I think, "Does the definition really matter?"  And, "Why should what others think matter???  You made a decision for yourself and your family."

And I sometimes think, "Even if you WANTED to go back to work, what would you do?"  I don't feel at all ready to think about that, although my gut tells me that at the least I would need to make a pivot.  Or, maybe I would chuck it all in and do something else completely.  And then I think, "At what point do you start making plans?"

I feel like I'm in a strange demographic.  My husband is nine years older, so I'm a young "retiree."  Many people really don't understand our situation, and I'm not sure that I do -- yet.

Anyway, I'm interested in feedback from those who have gone through this.

Financial.Velociraptor:
It was a weird headspace. I was in partial disbelief that I had done something so counter-cultural.  I didn't discover MMM or finance blogs until well after FIRE so I was out on a limb on my own.  It took about 6 months become OK with my decision.

ROF Expat:
I was warned before I retired that it might take a year to adjust.  It has been about 18 months and my attitudes about work and retirement are still evolving. 

My only advice is to recognize that the ability to FIRE is an incredible opportunity.  How many people have the ability to completely reinvent themselves and their lives? 

Trudie:

--- Quote from: Financial.Velociraptor on March 14, 2018, 03:27:49 PM ---It was a weird headspace. I was in partial disbelief that I had done something so counter-cultural.  I didn't discover MMM or finance blogs until well after FIRE so I was out on a limb on my own.  It took about 6 months become OK with my decision.

--- End quote ---

I am typically so conventional that it does seem odd to do something so counter-cultural.  I think that getting out during the day does help, because it does expose you to the counter-cultural crowd.

Trudie:

--- Quote from: ROF Expat on March 15, 2018, 10:15:41 AM ---I was warned before I retired that it might take a year to adjust.  It has been about 18 months and my attitudes about work and retirement are still evolving. 

My only advice is to recognize that the ability to FIRE is an incredible opportunity.  How many people have the ability to completely reinvent themselves and their lives?

--- End quote ---

It is such an opportunity and I appreciate your use of the world "evolving."  With respect to what I have done in the past (CPA, private industry) I've started to think a little differently about it.  It's quite possible that if I go back to work on a part time basis I may do something else.  Initially, after leaving my job I would think, "It will be a failure or waste if you don't do something in your current profession."  Now I'm starting to think, "I did that for fifteen years, and it was a good run.  But people change and situations change.  And it's okay to evolve."

I just think that this time away -- regardless of whether it's temporary or permanent -- will really allow me to be more self-aware.  Toward the end of my job I was really living a nose-to-the-grindstone existence.

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