Author Topic: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?  (Read 24923 times)

Threshkin

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #50 on: December 12, 2019, 11:58:46 AM »

Totally not what I was expecting, but thank God I wasn't working. We never would have managed.

My condolences for your loss.  At least you had time to do it.

Thankyou, and that's what we kept telling ourselves. I guess the lesson is that life still happens even when you retire. Its only the last couple of months that things are looking clearer.
It was the same for me.  I FIREd about a year before my mom passed.  I was so busy caring for her that I barely noticed except that I had time to be with her without feeling guilty about not paying attention to work.

Since then we have lost 2 more uncles and my MIL.  I just learned this morning that my oldest cousin's wife had a major stroke.  She is recovering but needs to learn how to walk again.  All are reminders about how fragile and uncertain life is.  All the more reason for getting our financial lives in order and eliminating at least one source of stress.

Omy

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #51 on: December 15, 2019, 07:55:10 AM »
We FIRE'd in August and in the first few weeks had low level anxiety that I should be accomplishing more. We also had a number of surprise issues with rental properties that cost a bit (dead washing machine, cracked toilet tank, dying hvac) and has me wondering if I should get out of the landlord business.

Overall it has been quite good, though. We've been "vacationing", exploring, and exercising much more than preFIRE - we've spent approximately 25% of our time out of town and managed to do it relatively inexpensively.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2019, 06:48:45 AM by Omy »

Threshkin

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #52 on: December 15, 2019, 04:14:52 PM »
We FIRE'd in August and in the first few weeks had low level anxiety that I should be accomplishing more. We also had a number of surprise issues with rental properties that cost a bit (dead washing machine, cracked toilet tank, dying hvac) and has me wondering if I should get out of the landlord business.

Overall it has been quite good, though. We've been "vacationing", exploring, and exercising much more than preFIRE - we've spent approximately 25% of our time out of town and managed to do it relatively in expensively.

We dropped out of the landlord business a few years ago for much the same reasons.  Then we watched property prices explode in our region......From the sidelines......

TartanTallulah

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #53 on: December 23, 2019, 02:08:25 AM »
I loved it from the start. Whole days of not having a ticking clock hanging over my head. Proper meals at normal times. Able to move around as I pleased. Time for marathon training for the first time in years. My sleep improved and my IBS and afternoon migraines melted away. I still did a bit of freelance work two or three short days a week and that was OK, but my "retired days" were my favourite. I particularly cherished my "home alone" time when my husband was at work. He's not difficult to be around, but I hadn't had home alone time in my own house for many years.

Don't read on.

After a few months the freelance work crept up, first supposedly temporarily (maternity cover, one-off emergencies) although I was ruthless about only doing one job role in one location. Having always worked, and knowing my next paycheck might be my last and with my DB pension still waiting finalisation, it was too tempting to earn a little more, keep feeding my private pension, save for a really good vacation, plan some big adventures after my husband had quit his part time job which he still enjoyed, buy a new gadget or two.

12 months post-FIRE, the point at which I'd expected to be rested and recovered enough to take on some community commitments, I was working 30-36 hours a week, including some weekend days, plus commuting, and we'd had the curveball of my frail but mobile FiL moving in with us so I'm never home alone. And that's where I'm at.

ShastaFire

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #54 on: December 23, 2019, 02:36:59 PM »
Very difficult - I was diagnosed with cancer 10 days after I gave notice at my job to start ER (in my 40s).   Yeah....
Surgery, recovery took many months thereafter.  A true case of "we plan, god laughs."  But I had the money, the time, the doctors and the loved ones around me to help me get better.  I am so grateful and so darn lucky.  Two years later, I am finally getting back into my FIRE stride.

Not a traditional ER story, but thought I would share.

happy

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #55 on: December 24, 2019, 03:59:26 PM »
Very difficult - I was diagnosed with cancer 10 days after I gave notice at my job to start ER (in my 40s).   Yeah....
Surgery, recovery took many months thereafter.  A true case of "we plan, god laughs."  But I had the money, the time, the doctors and the loved ones around me to help me get better.  I am so grateful and so darn lucky.  Two years later, I am finally getting back into my FIRE stride.

Not a traditional ER story, but thought I would share.
Bugger!
Glad to hear you're recovering and able to get into FIREd life in the way you always intended.

ShastaFire

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #56 on: December 25, 2019, 12:54:25 PM »
Very difficult - I was diagnosed with cancer 10 days after I gave notice at my job to start ER (in my 40s).   Yeah....
Surgery, recovery took many months thereafter.  A true case of "we plan, god laughs."  But I had the money, the time, the doctors and the loved ones around me to help me get better.  I am so grateful and so darn lucky.  Two years later, I am finally getting back into my FIRE stride.

Not a traditional ER story, but thought I would share.
Bugger!
Glad to hear you're recovering and able to get into FIREd life in the way you always intended.

Thank you!  It was just crazy.  I'm now looking forward to some camping trips this summer - gonna be sweet!

I read about your rough entry into FIRE, and my condolences on the loss of your mom.  It's hard when there's so much to decide and take care of right in the middle of grief.  Wishing you a good 2020 -   

Linea_Norway

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #57 on: January 04, 2020, 01:45:31 AM »
@happy I am so sorry you dealt with that and agree being FIRE'd must have been a huge blessing.  Part of my reason for wanting to FIRE was to be able to be there completely for my aging parents. 

For me, I am just approaching 4 months out.  Bummer it has been fall and an early winter here but every single day I have had gratitude for the gift of FIRE. 

I can sleep in every day if I want, but strangely I don't.  I can nap and have, but only twice.  I can stay up as late as I want to and am surprised sometimes that it gets to be so late as I am absorbed in something fun that keeps me up.  I don't have to worry about it one tiny bit if I am laying awake at night for some reason; I can turn on the TV for a while or read until the sandman takes me again, knowing I can make up for any sleep I need without dreading the alarm.  No Sunday dread.  I actually prefer weekdays now over weekends because the neighborhood is quiet, the stores are empty, and the TV is better.  I can get out of the routine of the normal podcasts I would listen to at work and try something new, or read a book and pull on all the threads of googling this or that to learn more about a topic within.  I load my crockpot on a Tuesday morning. I did a wonderful home improvement project that has been overdue for 2 years.  I held and comforted my sick elderly cat every day and was there at home for her euthanasia on a Thursday morning last month.  I travelled during non-peak times around the holidays because I was unrestricted by vacation calendars.  For my 2020 golf league I will be available to play in the morning and out of the heat if I choose to and will meet new interesting friends there.     

So much, so good, so worth it.  I can't wait for the changing seasons and to see how this goes during balmy days-  "staying out till the street lights come on" if I want.  What a perfect metaphor for living life all the way

Friends, get out here and join us.             

I am only Fired very shorthly, but I have the same experience. I love the more quiet weekdays to visit shops and other places while most others are working. I also experienced that on Fridays during my last working year. I also like to drive long distance at a convenient time of the day instead of in the evening and together with many other cars in a queue.
For sleeping out, I have been sleeping longer, to 8 am or so, while I earlier got up at 6 am. But 6 is not natural for me. When the sun rises earlier again, I will probably get up earlier. I like to wake up with the sun shining on the bedroom window, but that is only in spring and autumn. During the last nights I went to bed later because of something interesting on TV. And yesterday because I was baking bread that needed attention. It is a blessing to do those things without worrying about bedtime. It feels a bit like when Zi for the first time in ages didn't take the train to work. Not being dependent on train schedules was a major destressor for me.

Jon_Snow

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #58 on: January 04, 2020, 01:46:15 PM »
I find that as I am now heading into my 6th year of FIRE I am gaining better perspective of those first 6 months. The much talked about adjustment period had itís challenges - mostly because I embarked upon a transformative process to improve my health. But there was also an ever present, surreal, pleasant buzzing in my brain that I pulled this off. Every commute I got to opt out of in the morning...well, took quite a while until that lost itís shine. ;)

Thinking on it as I have a a bit more in checking back in this thread...I would describe my first 6 months or so as a sort of EUPHORIC DECOMPRESSION.

I FIREíd in September of 2014....and by the time that Spring 2015 arrived I was almost 50 pounds lighter and ready attack this new phase of my life.

ysette9

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #59 on: January 05, 2020, 05:02:07 AM »
That is an impressive transformation. Iím thinking a butterfly from a chrysalis.

MissNancyPryor

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #60 on: January 05, 2020, 01:37:24 PM »
"...ever present, surreal, pleasant buzzing in my brain that I pulled this off"

So much this.  Especially with the market adding YUGE to my stache since retirement it feels like I have a big happy secret that keeps me grinning all the time.  Not one second of regret. 

chasesfish

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #61 on: January 06, 2020, 05:41:46 AM »
My first 3 months were hell between managing a home sale, figuring out where we were moving to, and doing a DIY move across the country.

The second three months is when I had to learn how to settle into our new life.

TheWifeHalf

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #62 on: January 06, 2020, 06:07:01 PM »
My husband worked for a large world wide company, so the first 6 mos were spent with 'book work.'  Most of the stuff was handled by calling Texas, or at least calling there to get the number that had to be called.
Things weren't relatively settled until September (he retired Valentine's Day), and I think it will take until Medicare time to completely cut the strings, so that's another 2 years.
He goes to bed later at night, and sleeps longer in the am. There's a golf course 2 miles from here, so he golfs a lot, something he couldn't do while working. He spends many days golfing with other retirees from the same company.
My life's the same, I just have someone around to lift heavy things, and tall enough to get stuff on the high shelves at the grocery store!

MissNancyPryor

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #63 on: January 07, 2020, 06:15:05 AM »
Anyone else have a sense of mild irritation with structure post-FIRE?  Lately I have had an overwhelming sense of simply wanting to be left alone.

When I have an appointment of some kind I feel like it is a a real pain in the rear now where before it was just part of the grind.  Since Outlook no longer pings at me all day I instead use a wipe-off calendar magnet on the fridge.  My appointments and time-anchored errands are there and I find the space in between things is glorious and find myself not looking forward to "having to" do anything at all.  Weird.     

Today I have to be somewhere at 10am for a brief 20 minute thing and I am struck by the friction of it.  I have a golf lesson Thursday and then Monday I will do a group fun thing, and then a friend is visiting on the 15th.  Even when the neighbor dropped by unannounced the other night I felt my insides say, "grrr" for a second. 

All of that, even though they are good things, gets me a tiny bit put out.  So strange!  Anyone else have that sense and did it go away?       

Trifele

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #64 on: January 07, 2020, 06:37:06 AM »
Anyone else have a sense of mild irritation with structure post-FIRE?  Lately I have had an overwhelming sense of simply wanting to be left alone.

Yes!  I have this.  I'm nearly one year FIREd, and I find myself at times just not wanting to do anything at all structured.  I've even missed a couple of (non-critical) appointments.  Like, even though I had them in my calendar I just -- forgot them.  The pre-FIRE me was rock solid on such things and it never happened.   It's like the new unstructured me is subconsciously rebelling against the littlest imposition. 

FIRE for me has been glorious so far!  I still think daily about how f-ing fabulous my life is.  I'm happier than I've ever been.

MissNancyPryor

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #65 on: January 07, 2020, 06:56:07 AM »
Thanks for the reply!  I won't worry then if this feeling lasts.  "Rebelling" is exactly how I feel -- as if, FFS, I have put in my time and I am so over being shoved from one event to the next all day that having even just 3 good bases to touch this week feels like a real imposition.

Yes, glorious.  I have on several occasions laughed out loud with amazement that I actually pulled this off.   

Dicey

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #66 on: January 07, 2020, 07:31:44 AM »
Anyone else have a sense of mild irritation with structure post-FIRE?  Lately I have had an overwhelming sense of simply wanting to be left alone.

Yes!  I have this.  I'm nearly one year FIREd, and I find myself at times just not wanting to do anything at all structured.  I've even missed a couple of (non-critical) appointments.  Like, even though I had them in my calendar I just -- forgot them.  The pre-FIRE me was rock solid on such things and it never happened.   It's like the new unstructured me is subconsciously rebelling against the littlest imposition. 

FIRE for me has been glorious so far!  I still think daily about how f-ing fabulous my life is.  I'm happier than I've ever been.
Me, too. In fact, I find at times I resent anything that forces me to shower and get dressed, even if it's something I willingly scheduled or committed to. Sometimes even if it's something I enjoy.

firebrand

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #67 on: January 07, 2020, 08:41:34 AM »
Anyone else have a sense of mild irritation with structure post-FIRE?  Lately I have had an overwhelming sense of simply wanting to be left alone.
Yes!  I have this. 
Me, too.
Similar. I'm not on such a rigid schedule as I had while I was still working my job. Right now for instance, I should pack and get ready for a planned trip across the state of Florida but I don't need to leave for several hours so I'm spending time looking through threads here and there. It's almost as if I'm becoming the procrastinator I was while I was in high school decades ago. Perhaps this is just a phase (only a few weeks into this).

caracarn

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #68 on: January 07, 2020, 09:49:31 AM »
PTF

I just finished up two weeks at home from mandatory shutdown where I work had at end of the year and did spend a lot of that time thinking "would I like to do x while FIRE" as I did various things.  Obviously given the comments above taking 4-6 months to really accept it as the new normal was not what I got to do, but now that I am hopefully in single digit years till I can FIRE it was the first time off thinking about what FIRE would be like. 

GreenSheep

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #69 on: January 07, 2020, 11:45:48 AM »
Anyone else have a sense of mild irritation with structure post-FIRE?  Lately I have had an overwhelming sense of simply wanting to be left alone.

Yes!  I have this.  I'm nearly one year FIREd, and I find myself at times just not wanting to do anything at all structured.  I've even missed a couple of (non-critical) appointments.  Like, even though I had them in my calendar I just -- forgot them.  The pre-FIRE me was rock solid on such things and it never happened.   It's like the new unstructured me is subconsciously rebelling against the littlest imposition. 

FIRE for me has been glorious so far!  I still think daily about how f-ing fabulous my life is.  I'm happier than I've ever been.
Me, too. In fact, I find at times I resent anything that forces me to shower and get dressed, even if it's something I willingly scheduled or committed to. Sometimes even if it's something I enjoy.

Yes! I've come to dread appointments, and I used to be the most scheduled, type-A person I knew. I enjoy meeting up with friends, etc., but all the prep that goes into it (hair, makeup, nice clothes, planning my departure from home so I arrive on time, etc.) is exhausting. Yes, I could just leave my hair and makeup un-fixed, but that's just not me.

Also, I just really enjoy being home. I like my home, and I have lots of fun things to do here. My husband, best friend, and mom are all the "must get out of the house daily" type, and I just don't get it. I go out and do all the things I need/want to do, but I don't go *looking* for reasons to get out of the house!

MissNancyPryor

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #70 on: January 07, 2020, 11:49:28 AM »
I am glad that this is not unusual.  I was worried I had early stage hermitosis.  ;D

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #71 on: January 07, 2020, 12:39:21 PM »
Anyone else have a sense of mild irritation with structure post-FIRE?

I dislike it.

 Lately I have had an overwhelming sense of simply wanting to be left alone.

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I find the space in between things is glorious and find myself not looking forward to "having to" do anything at all.  Weird.   

I like the freedom of not having to do anything: for me it's the essence of FIRE.

Today I have to be somewhere at 10am for a brief 20 minute thing and I am struck by the friction of it.  I have a golf lesson Thursday and then Monday I will do a group fun thing, and then a friend is visiting on the 15th.  Even when the neighbor dropped by unannounced the other night I felt my insides say, "grrr" for a second. 

All of that, even though they are good things, gets me a tiny bit put out.  So strange!  Anyone else have that sense and did it go away?     

In FIREtirement, desire for my own space and its quietude is as strong as it's ever been.

BigMoneyJim

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Re: What Were Your First Few Weeks/Months of ER Like?
« Reply #72 on: January 07, 2020, 02:45:42 PM »
Anyone else have a sense of mild irritation with structure post-FIRE?  Lately I have had an overwhelming sense of simply wanting to be left alone.

When I have an appointment of some kind I feel like it is a a real pain in the rear now where before it was just part of the grind.

YES. I mean I was like that to some degree the past decade of work, but since retiring (~ 3 months ago now) I'm hyper-guarded of my time. I get really annoyed every time the phone rings as there is literally nobody I want to talk to with no warning.

Not quite the same thing, but I just buzz-cut my own hair a couple of days ago rather than go to get it cut to my usual style, because I couldn't be bothered to spend the time to go get it done. I figure worst case is it will grow back to where I want it in 2-3 months, and I have no plans in that time, anyway!