Are you just honest and say that you are retired?
I was only briefly retired, but yes, I simply stated that I was retired. I only retired from my profession for medical reasons, but I could afford to, so I didn't bother explaining that unless I felt like talking about it.
Do you say that you are an investor? That you work from home? That you are an efficiency consultant?
Oh goodness no. Although, I *am* professionally an expert in efficiency, funnily enough.
For FIRE’d parents, do people insist on telling you that you are a stay-at-home parent instead of retired even if your kids are in daycare or school?
No kids, so no, but I have joked about becoming a stay at home parent to my pets.
Yes, people will judge you if you stop working and refer to yourself as retired if your partner continues working, and especially if you have kids. But that only matters if you choose to be concerned about the judgement.
If your spouse still works, do people think you are a leech?
Maybe? I certainly think that of some of the non-working spouses I know, so I'm sure someone could have thought that of me. I suspect more that they assumed my SO maybe felt bait-and-switched, since I was the much higher earner when we got married and then just a few years later ended up with zero income.
If you are honest, how do you stay protective of your time and keep family members from expecting things from you in the middle of the day just because you do not have a conventional job? Do people bother you for money once they find out you are retired?
The same way I've always been protective of my time, by saying no when people ask me to do things I don't want to do. I'm not afraid of awkward conversations though, and people know that, so those who are afraid of them are extremely cautious with me, and those who are equally direct aren't surprised when I am.
I've been asked for money and simply said "I'm not comfortable with that, but I'll happily sit down with you and help you go over your finances" (I did this professionally as a side hustle)
I have lent some money to family, but only when I was okay not being paid back. I've been paid back some of it, but that's totally fine.
The previous poster is correct that everyone cares what people think, it's just a matter of how much you care, what you care about, and how you let that care impact you.
I'm not immune to being pissed off by people's judgements, of course I get agitated when people make shitty conclusions about me. It's annoying and feels unjust.
The difference is that I accept it as a suboptimal, but totally normal part of life that neither should or can be controlled. It's like someone cutting in a line, it's aggravating when it happens, but I'm not going to give it much thought beyond in the moment and I'm certainly not going to change my own behaviour over it.
Sure, it's annoying that people jump to the conclusion that doctors are rich and that the women who marry them are lucky lottery winners. Hey, it's just as annoying *being* the supposedly rich doctor and having people say to my DH "whoa, how do you handle her making so much more than you, I couldn't do it", as if my income is about as attractive as syphilitic lesions all over my face.
How you let that affect you is on you though. No one put that chip on your shoulder, having it is a choice.
Besides, if you somehow manage to magically avoid that form of judgement, trust me, they've got all sorts of other things lined up to judge you for.
Trying to avoid judgement from others is an enormous and pointless energy suck. Remember, their judgements are on them, not on you.
So you can either try to edit your own story to avoid judgement, or you can acquire the inner okay-ness with the fact that humans judge and that's annoying, but normal.