What do you put for your occupation on your tax return?

[Gone Fishing]

Options could include:  Retired, Stock Investor, Real Estate Investor, World Traveler, Beach Bum, etc. 

Personally, I might go for, "Homemaker", or possibly even "Homesteader".

[CmFtns]

The form should look like this... if there's enough room

Occupation: Retired/Stock Investor/Real Estate Investor/World Traveler/Beach Bum/Homemaker/Homesteader

[zephyr911]

Not FIREd yet but I plan on putting some fairly silly and/or pretentious shit in there when the time comes. Maybe I'll make up a list and use each item for one tax year post-FIRE. Roadkill collector, unemployed art snob, professional human being, unlicensed ego massage therapist....

[Cheddar Stacker]

A lot of great ideas here: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/off-topic/business-card-ideas/msg109442/#msg109442

I'm going with Baller when I get there.

[regulator]

Consultant.  As Dogbert says, "consult is a contraction of 'con' and 'insult.'"

[Mr. Green]

I absolutely will have to come up with something awesome for this, like "Time Stealer."

[Mr. Green]

A lot of great ideas here: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/off-topic/business-card-ideas/msg109442/#msg109442

I'm going with Baller when I get there.

YES! I love it!

[Jon_Snow]

I've always had a soft spot for "funemployed".

[mamagoose]

I've always had a soft spot for "funemployed".

My husband will love this.

[Songbird]

We are not FIRED yet so technically can't have input to this but my husband put "Domestic Goddess" for my occupation on our tax returns one year. 

I didn't catch it until after he filed.  Good grief.  :)

[UnleashHell]

I've always had a soft spot for "funemployed".

My wife is currently using that one on her trip to England. Its irritating the crap out her brother so its totally worth it.

[Playing with Fire UK]

Time Lord?

[davisgang90]

Steely Eyed Killer

[markbike528CBX]

Spy,     - but I chickened-out and didn't put it on the form.

That year I had been gathering information for the US government and my company in a Russian nuclear secret city.   
The fact that everyone (Russians included) knew about my purpose just makes me an incompetent "spy". 
I did gather the info I was sent there for :-)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zheleznogorsk,_Krasnoyarsk_Krai

The last Russian map I've seen (2011) failed to show Zheleznogorsk ( pop 80,000, in the middle of Siberia).

[canadian bacon]

I found MMM on LinkedIn and laughed that he put his title as Leisure Engineer

[G-dog]

I've always had a soft spot for "funemployed".

That is a good one.
Right now am I am an unpaid canine solid waste collector....

[BarkyardBQ]

I've always had a soft spot for "funemployed".

That is a good one.
Right now am I am an unpaid canine solid waste collector....

Collector or Cleanup Specialist?

[G-dog]

I've always had a soft spot for "funemployed".

That is a good one.
Right now am I am an unpaid canine solid waste collector....

Collector or Cleanup Specialist?

Ah, yes. I wondered about the phrasing also.
Technically a cleanup specialist as each sample is summarily deposited in the waste receptacle.
Maybe canine solid waste eradicator! (Kids in the Hall ref re: THE ERADICATOR!)

[marty998]

I've always had a soft spot for "funemployed".

That is a good one.
Right now am I am an unpaid canine solid waste collector....

Collector or Cleanup Specialist?

Nah, it's gotta be something like...

"Executive General Manager - Waste Recovery (Canine Organics)"

[Bearded Man]

Wonder what would happen if you put Serial Killer in there...

[Gone Fishing]

Amateur

Nouveau riche 

[Left]

just put fired, see if they know

[G-dog]

I've always had a soft spot for "funemployed".

That is a good one.
Right now am I am an unpaid canine solid waste collector....

Collector or Cleanup Specialist?

Nah, it's gotta be something like...

"Executive General Manager - Waste Recovery (Canine Organics)"

How about CPO - Canine Organics

CPO is clearly Cheif Poop Officer

[Petunia 100]

We are not FIRED yet so technically can't have input to this but my husband put "Domestic Goddess" for my occupation on our tax returns one year. 

I didn't catch it until after he filed.  Good grief.  :)

Lol!   When I was a SAHM,  that is exactly what I put. :)

[hoping2retire35]

not yet, but when it happens

"Gentleman of Leisure"

[jim555]

Leisure Specialist

[dude]

International Woman of Mystery...or Pole Dancer.

HAHAHA!!!  Love it!  Hadn't even thought about this -- now I'll actually look forward to filing taxes in retirement!

[dude]

International Woman of Mystery...or Pole Dancer.

HAHAHA!!!  Love it!  Hadn't even thought about this -- now I'll actually look forward to filing taxes in retirement!

Well you'll be able to put "Professional Rock Climber" then - or maybe go with "Climbing Bum"...yeah I like that better :-)!

hahahaha! yep, though the fact I'm getting paid to do it kinda throws the "bum" thing out the window! Started guiding weekends this fall -- and loved every minute of it!  Plan to guide ice come Feb (too much going on in Jan).  Perhaps "Vertical Vagabond" or "Rock Star".  :-)

[dude]

International Woman of Mystery...or Pole Dancer.

HAHAHA!!!  Love it!  Hadn't even thought about this -- now I'll actually look forward to filing taxes in retirement!

Well you'll be able to put "Professional Rock Climber" then - or maybe go with "Climbing Bum"...yeah I like that better :-)!

hahahaha! yep, though the fact I'm getting paid to do it kinda throws the "bum" thing out the window! Started guiding weekends this fall -- and loved every minute of it!  Plan to guide ice come Feb (too much going on in Jan).  Perhaps "Vertical Vagabond" or "Rock Star".  :-)

Rock Star??? Nah - go with Rock God :-)! Glad you are enjoying the side gig so much. Doing what you love and getting paid is pretty sweet (minus whinny demanding clients that is).

Yes, it is!  Had one whiny-ish client -- she got her hair caught in the rappel device during a belayed rappel.  Ouch.  Managed the incident fine, and she was unharmed, but she was "devastated" about damage to her hair, which from what I could tell, was nothing.  But it was like the end of the world to her.  Though she mellowed out as the day went on and I had opportunities to coach and encourage her through a climb.  Got tipped pretty well that day, so in the end all was good!  :-)

[dude]

International Woman of Mystery...or Pole Dancer.

HAHAHA!!!  Love it!  Hadn't even thought about this -- now I'll actually look forward to filing taxes in retirement!

Well you'll be able to put "Professional Rock Climber" then - or maybe go with "Climbing Bum"...yeah I like that better :-)!

hahahaha! yep, though the fact I'm getting paid to do it kinda throws the "bum" thing out the window! Started guiding weekends this fall -- and loved every minute of it!  Plan to guide ice come Feb (too much going on in Jan).  Perhaps "Vertical Vagabond" or "Rock Star".  :-)

Rock Star??? Nah - go with Rock God :-)! Glad you are enjoying the side gig so much. Doing what you love and getting paid is pretty sweet (minus whinny demanding clients that is).

Yes, it is!  Had one whiny-ish client -- she got her hair caught in the rappel device during a belayed rappel.  Ouch.  Managed the incident fine, and she was unharmed, but she was "devastated" about damage to her hair, which from what I could tell, was nothing.  But it was like the end of the world to her.  Though she mellowed out as the day went on and I had opportunities to coach and encourage her through a climb.  Got tipped pretty well that day, so in the end all was good!  :-)

Oh...the...horror!!!!!! But then that's happened to me a few times and It.Is.Devastating :-)! although in my hairs case it was probably an improvement.

HAHAHA!  You have a LOT of hair!!

[RootofGood]

To answer your original question, I put "writer" on my 1040.  I file a schedule C for my freelancing and blog income so I figure I wouldn't give the IRS any reason to be curious just in case their computers experience curiosity. 

Professional dilettante would also be applicable in my case.  :)  (edit to add: that's the job title I use at LinkedIn)

[UnleashHell]

Professional dilettante would also be applicable in my case.  :)  (edit to add: that's the job title I use at LinkedIn)

I like that one.

I'd like to put half cocked travel expert on mine.

[Gone Fishing]

I wonder if "Tax Cheat" would get you flagged for an audit?

[RootofGood]

I wonder if "Tax Cheat" would get you flagged for an audit?

"Your Honor, Taxpayer So Close has admitted his tax fraud right here on his Form 1040, right next to his own signature.  The prosecution rests."

At least give 'em a little challenge.  :) 

[dude]

I wonder if "Tax Cheat" would get you flagged for an audit?

"Your Honor, Taxpayer So Close has admitted his tax fraud right here on his Form 1040, right next to his own signature.  The prosecution rests."

At least give 'em a little challenge.  :)

Tax Avoider?

[RootofGood]

Tax Avoider?

Seems legit.

[Gone Fishing]

I wonder if "Tax Cheat" would get you flagged for an audit?

"Your Honor, Taxpayer So Close has admitted his tax fraud right here on his Form 1040, right next to his own signature.  The prosecution rests."

At least give 'em a little challenge.  :)

I'd never do it! (put it down or cheat).  I figure most tax returns are never even looked at by a human being, so it would be up to a programmer to put it in the code...

[dude]

Speaking of the occupation listed on one's tax return, I wonder if "Wage Slave" might offend some lower-paid IRS worker bee (given my relatively high income) and trigger an audit?  Frankly, I think everyone still working for a check should list this as their occupation.

[Roothy]

I'm going to go with "Bon Vivant."

[libertarian4321]

Pimp.

[RootofGood]

Pimp.

But spell it out like P - I - M - P. 

[G-dog]

This finally made me wonder, why do we have to put anything? Do they use this info somehow?

[Jon_Snow]

I don't make it over to RoG's site much these days, but from what I remember he should consider this one...hammock model.

[Mr. Green]

I don't make it over to RoG's site much these days, but from what I remember he should consider this one...banana hammock model.

Fixed that for you.

[RootofGood]

I don't make it over to RoG's site much these days, but from what I remember he should consider this one...banana hammock model.

Fixed that for you.

Might be time for an encore career...