What did you FIRE "to" and how did you know?

[tooqk4u22]

I have been trying to think about my fear of FIRE and if you read some of my posts you'll see that I have hid behind why the 4% rule might not be enough.  Sure I worry about health care and kids expenses along the way.  But the more I think about it one thing that I am struggling with is what will I do, what will I retire to. 

Don't get me wrong, between three kids full of activities and schooling along with DW and friends, I have a shit ton of ways to be busy.  Travelling would be fun but is somewhat limited due to the aforementioned children stuff, but even that isn't it.  I can think of plenty of stuff to get me by the first 6-12 month but after that I keep thinking then what. 

There is line in the movie You, Me and Dupree....where Dupree says something like "You have lost your Carl-ness"  I think I have lost my tooqness - I really don't have a passion or desire for anything - its weird and sad. 

On one hand its the fear of "What do I do" with the obvious conclusion that this is the most important reason why I need to FIRE - I have been institutionalized and broken. I need myself back.

I suppose there are things I might enjoy doing, like teaching or home construction - but not at the expense of having to do it full time and lose the flexibility that I so desire.

This might be the hardest part - for all those that have felt this way how did you handle it?

[CowboyAndIndian]

First of all welcome to the club. I am exactly like that.

What helped me was Dr. Doom's article
https://livingafi.com/2015/03/09/building-a-vision-of-life-without-work/

Best of luck

[frompa]

Tooqk4u22, First of all, thank you for the honesty of your question.  It's a complex one, and as someone minutes away from retiring, I find myself in idle moments thinking, "well, there's a job I could do" about any number of absurdly overcommitted positions.  Like you, I have many fine things I can do to stay busy once I'm out of my paid employment, so I've started asking myself what's going on here. My conclusion: however much I want this next transition, it's a humdinger.

The only thing that comes close to this feeling of being close to a scary abyss is when I came face to face with having to end my marriage, years ago.  I realized that somewhere deep inside me, I knew what I needed to do, and I knew how I had to go about it, but it was deep, because on the day-to-day level, I was fucking clueless.  My job then, and it was tremendously difficult, was to give myself the time and task of shutting up and listening to myself until I could see my way.  It was difficult, but it was right, in retrospect. 

You describe yourself as "institutionalized and broken," and while this is powerful language, I've seen enough of your posts elsewhere to think you are solidly grounded.  Dude, de-institutionalize yourself.  Do whatever you have to to heal.

My thought is that even if we don't know what we are stepping toward, sometimes our first move has to be to step away from what is holding us in place, before we can move to whatever comes next.  That's what I'm going to do.  Good luck.

[Trudie]

Thanks to whomever posted the link to Dr. Doom.  That's exactly what I would suggest reading.

Not knowing EXACTLY what you will do is okay.  It's a process of trial and error, and you will change in FIRE.  Your location may change.  Your social circle will change.

I think it's good to have a plan, but a flexible one.  Mine will include:  (1) exercise daily; (2) one day per week go to a service club meeting -- like Rotary; (2) 3 days per week go do something enjoyable and "public", but not necessarily where you need to be helping people -- like a book group meeting; and (3) a couple days a week try out volunteering or giving back to an organization until you find something that clicks.  It's okay if you don't want to "give back."  (See also Dr. Doom on this subject.)  It's not hedonistic to want to pursue social activities, travel activities, or wellness things and make your FIRE about you and those closest to you.

There is too much pressure to give everyone else or a cause your all.  Don't be discouraged if you're not there yet.  If you try out volunteering be very up front with the volunteer coordinator that you are trying things out just as much as they're trying you out.  If you try something and dislike it, try something else.  Just say -- "This isn't for me and this isn't how I want to spend my time."  A good volunteer coordinator or organization will be committed to finding something you like, that uses your skills.  There are a lot of organizations that can burn you out quickly or waste your time.  Don't let them.  You gave up the daily grind, don't let them thrust you back into it.

Just to give you an example -- I don't know exactly what I want to do, but I've discovered through some spiritual formation activities at my church that I really enjoy reaching out to people who are on the "outside" become part of something.  I think this is because I was kind of shy growing up and can relate to feelings of being an outsider.  So, I hope to help refugees and immigrants integrate, or help first-generation college kids fill out their apps... or something like that.  I have business skills.  Paperwork?  I'm your gal.  That's helpful in situations like that.

[jim555]

I didn't retire "to" anything.  Working gave me no time to figure out what the "to" should be.  Now I have time to figure it out.

[Jon_Snow]

I had a distinct "vision" of what FIRE would entail for me - developed over a period of years. I am now living it. It's probably been better than I had expected...and my expectations were HIGH.

[flyingaway]

Retirement can be very long, a few decades, it is very difficult to figure everything out before retirement. But I think one should have some ideas, maybe all, what they want to do in retirement.

[Cap_Scarlet]

I really don't have a passion or desire for anything - its weird and sad. 

I think a lot of people think like that.  I know I do.

But first of all don't think you need to have a passion. Passion is something which is emotive and short term.  I've been married for 27 years and whilst the early days were certainly passionate, its not how I would describe our relationship now.  But that does not mean we are not happy or content.

Actually I think you need to take a look at things you just like doing and then build a new structure around that.  You may actually want to schedule buckets of time which are labelled differently.  Maybe one bucket is exercise.  Maybe another is enjoying a nice meal.  Could be anything but because you will be retired you can actually make those things last and not feel pressured to cram all the fun into a very short space of time.

As well as making some of the things you already enjoy a bit bigger (and better) then you can start browsing for new things you might want to try or do things you gave up which you can start again.

For me, I love to ski.  I would not call it a passion but I like it very much.  I will not ski every day but in retirement I will pick and choose my days and I will enjoy it so much more because of that.  And I will spend time exploring new resorts and new trails. 

Enjoy!

[AdrianC]

I have been trying to think about my fear of FIRE and if you read some of my posts you'll see that I have hid behind why the 4% rule might not be enough.  Sure I worry about health care and kids expenses along the way.  But the more I think about it one thing that I am struggling with is what will I do, what will I retire to. 

Don't get me wrong, between three kids full of activities and schooling along with DW and friends, I have a shit ton of ways to be busy.  Travelling would be fun but is somewhat limited due to the aforementioned children stuff, but even that isn't it.  I can think of plenty of stuff to get me by the first 6-12 month but after that I keep thinking then what. 

I could have written exactly the above myself. Same situation.

Three kids also so travel possibilities are limited, during school time at least.

I'm gliding into ER, be fully there by years end. What am I going to do all day?

[tooqk4u22]

I didn't retire "to" anything.  Working gave me no time to figure out what the "to" should be.  Now I have time to figure it out.

This is probably the way it is for me....will have the time to experiment and figure it out but fearful there won't be anything that I particularly enjoy.

I am a bit jealous of people that have something.....

I had a distinct "vision" of what FIRE would entail for me - developed over a period of years. I am now living it. It's probably been better than I had expected...and my expectations were HIGH.

I have been trying to think about my fear of FIRE and if you read some of my posts you'll see that I have hid behind why the 4% rule might not be enough.  Sure I worry about health care and kids expenses along the way.  But the more I think about it one thing that I am struggling with is what will I do, what will I retire to. 

Don't get me wrong, between three kids full of activities and schooling along with DW and friends, I have a shit ton of ways to be busy.  Travelling would be fun but is somewhat limited due to the aforementioned children stuff, but even that isn't it.  I can think of plenty of stuff to get me by the first 6-12 month but after that I keep thinking then what. 

I could have written exactly the above myself. Same situation.

Three kids also so travel possibilities are limited, during school time at least.

I'm gliding into ER, be fully there by years end. What am I going to do all day?

The three kids definitely adds a lot of good stuff and worse case I can probably be all-in on them and worry about this thing for me many years away when they are out of the house.  I say all-in because I don't do everything for/with them right now because of work....right now I help with homework, we get them around to their various activities and watch, and time off/weekends is all about them...but it would be nice to be more involved in the school stuff during the day or helping with coaching or if one kids is learning to play an instrument maybe I could do that during the day and basically learn with them and be able to understand/help when needed.

[Mmm_Donuts]

What did you dream of doing when you were a kid? I had some wild dreams as a kid - I wanted to be a drummer, a dancer, a children's book illustrator, a writer, and many other things. Some of them are a little crazy (rock star or famous actress) but others are actually doable. If I were you, I'd try to get back into the dreamer / childlike mindset and remember the things you always wanted to do when you were young.

For me, the question was easy, because I've always had so many "impractical" dreams! And now I can do them. In general, if you like learning new things, and like to stay physically active, then you should have no trouble finding things to do.

I agree that passion is overrated. Start with a place of curiosity, and go from there. Like, wouldn't it be a challenge to learn how to make a musical instrument from scratch? Or speak a new language? Run a marathon? Play a musical instrument? Learn how to draw? Cook a 5 course fancy meal? Take up photography? Go on nature hikes and learn about edible plants, or birds? Just be curious about something, anything, and try to find out more about it. Chances are, it will take you months or years to get better at it, and you can choose more than one thing. You have endless entertainment and challenges at your doorstep. You will never be bored, as long as you are curious.

ETA: if you can't remember childhood dreams, and feel like you've lost yourself along the way somehow, then I highly recommend keeping a journal. If you just write whatever comes into your mind for even 10-15 minutes a day (choose your own limit, however much time you have) then you will notice your old self coming back. Journals are awesome. Dr Doom has referred to this in the past, that he is a long time journal writer. This, I'm sure, is 99% why he is so in tune with himself and perceptive.

[momcpa]

I am getting close (closer) to the day of not having a day structured around a "job".  There are some very simple things I like to do that I don't feel I have time for now, or feel that I am wasting time if I do them now........Reading in the middle of the day, spending time researching new recipes, going for a LONG walk.  Stuff like that.  It will be so nice to do those things, and more, anytime I want, when a job isn't taking up all my day time hours.

So although I hope to do some bigger things in retirement also, I truly look forward to doing some of the small things too.  And not having to feel under pressure of time, or available hours, or dedication to other things that require more immediate attention now while I'm working.

Maybe that sounds too simple for some people.  But I hope to make some of the simple stuff more enjoyable when I've got the whole day ahead of me.

[Fishindude]

I grew up working in the trades with my hands, building and making things.  Gradually advanced to different levels of management and into company ownership.
Now 40 years later and soon to be stepping away from full time employment I look forward to getting back to a lot more working with my hands, building, fixing and making things.
Living on a farm affords me with unlimited chores and projects at my disposal.   

When I'm not doing that will be hunting, fishing, traveling with spouse or doing something with kids, grand kids or other family.   
I don't envision much idle time, just hope good health continues.

[chrisgermany]

I am happily retired with DH (58/64) since 3 years. We have no other passion other than happily spending time together. Each of us has little projects and we love to travel.
What helped was Ernie Zelinskie' s book How To Retire Happy Wild and Free with the get-a-life-tree exercise. You could probably google it but it is good read.
Enjoy ER!

[AdrianC]

The three kids definitely adds a lot of good stuff and worse case I can probably be all-in on them and worry about this thing for me many years away when they are out of the house.  I say all-in because I don't do everything for/with them right now because of work....right now I help with homework, we get them around to their various activities and watch, and time off/weekends is all about them...but it would be nice to be more involved in the school stuff during the day or helping with coaching or if one kids is learning to play an instrument maybe I could do that during the day and basically learn with them and be able to understand/help when needed.

Same here. I try to read the books they are studying. The musical instrument idea is great. Daughter is learning Spanish, I should with her. Must dig out that old learn Spanish tape.

My wife became a stay at home mom nine years ago (hard to believe, but youngest kid is almost 9, so...) She struggled a bit to begin with, missed going to work, missed the social interactions. She developed new networks through the kid’s activities. When the kids all went to full time school she got involved with school volunteering, PTC and some other volunteer work. She definitely fills up her time. I guess I could follow in her footsteps. I may look into math and science tutoring at the middle and high school level.

Wife was volunteering at school all day yesterday. I didn't work, and (unintentionally) did a kind of an ER trial run. Up at 5:45am with kid 1, saw her off. Breakfast with kid 2, took him to bus. Hang out with kid 3, took him to bus. Got ready and went for a nice 30 mile bike ride. Made my lunch. Read some message boards, emails, news. Kid 1 home, got her doing homework. Kid 2 home, ditto. Ran an errand. Kid 3 home. Dinner, homework, soccer practice, Nerf war, relax time, kids in bed, hang out with the missus. That's my day.  Is that enough?

"They say I'm lazy, but it takes all my time" - Joe Walsh.

[crazyworld]

I feel the same way!  And I can't really recall if I had any great dreams as a child, except wanting to go into space (yeah, too late for that).  My mother did not keep well while I was growing up so I got busy with keeping the house running very early on - did not really get much chance to try anything - just read a lot as my mental escape and did quite well academically.
Still, after dithering for a while, I have given in my notice and will help company look for my replacement.  Been with the company almost 20 years!  Its a truly great place to work and I am sorry to go, TBH.  Except, I feel like I need to be available for my soon to be 13 y.o. It may make no difference in the end, but I did not want to question myself later.  They did talk me into staying engaged and working about 10 hours/week from home. 
I also started a course in traditional Indian medicine last year, which I have decided to continue to the next level, though I am having trouble seeing myself in the role of a complementary healthcare practitioner (because it is so different than my career).  I have the usual plans to read now that I will have time, exercise, eat better, travel with the family in a more relaxed way etc.  Not feeling called to volunteer yet, we shall see. 
So it sounds like I have a lot lined up, however, I am having a hard time shaking off the feeling of purposelessness (is that a word?) I enjoy the problem-solving aspect of the job, and since I got higher up within the company, that is a lot of what I do.  Its a small company, but we do very large projects with external partners, so it feels like the best of both worlds - not cog like, but not boring sameness.  That said, my summers are not off, its hard to stay on track for exercise, always feeling rushed etc is somewhat annoying. If there was a way to work half time and take a good chunk of summer off, I would probably keep working.  I know folks on here all mostly seem happy post-FIRE, but I will have to let you all know in a few months how it feels for me.

[Cassie]

I was not happy being 100% retired. I work p.t. from home when I want and love it.

[cerat0n1a]

In general, if you like learning new things, and like to stay physically active, then you should have no trouble finding things to do.
...
Start with a place of curiosity, and go from there. Like, wouldn't it be a challenge to learn how to make a musical instrument from scratch? Or speak a new language? Run a marathon? Play a musical instrument? 
...
You will never be bored, as long as you are curious.

Really like this post. I just can't imagine there not being things I want to learn about or get better at, which is probably why I've learnt several languages, run several marathons and play several instruments :-) Building my own mandolin is on the list for when I stop full time work too... All of those things feels a little self-indulgent, but I don't feel obliged to spend all my time doing stuff for others.

[crazyworld]

So I'll play ball here.  I just recently FIRE'd and I have to admit I mostly have the opposite problem of you.  Maybe that other perspective will help you.

Before I quit the corporate job I wrote down a list of things I wanted to do--exercise an hour a day, read two hours a day, garden, meditate, write, learn a language, become a better cook, blah, blah blah.  Not to mention spend time with kids, romance wife, catch up with old friends.  Guess what?  When I totaled up the list I had like 40 hours of stuff I wanted to do per day, way too much.  So finding things to do is not the problem for me.  It's finding the discipline to not get sucked into distractions (like spending too much time on this forum) and instead taking my limited time to do things that are most satisfying (and choosing those things from the many options). 

Be gentle with yourself and follow your curiosity.  Those small curiosities may become your passions. 

And a warning.  When I quit last month I would start waking up saying to myself "go get a job".  The instinct to "do something" is very strong.  Resist it.  Rediscover who you are.

So here's my sort of counter to the above answer (not you specifically Lazarus_long, just the general idea) - won't doing the same things every day for decades also become a drag eventually, as a job has?  With ER, one is out defining purpose for a LONG time.  I definitely would love the slower pace, exercise, reading time etc, for a while, but feel like learning languages, instruments etc without there being a purpose to it may feel pointless?  Just having a hard time with that.  So I learned how to play an instrument - now what?  Learn another language - I plan on Italian.  It will be useful when traveling in Italy.  And then what?  Up to now, I went to school/college with a purpose - educate myself and be a productive member of society, ie, pay my own way, rather than be a burden.  I exercise, to keep my body healthy.  I read for enjoyment and curiosity.  I spend time with family/friends for affection and human connection.  I will have more time for some of these activities.  But once I stop working, I also inherit household tedium for office tedium in a way.  And no one pays you for that :)  I started on that stuff very young so I do know of what I speak.
What it sounds like FIRE is a mechanism to have control of your time and then figure out career #2; but with FI, the stakes can be lower than career #1, where some amount of success was important/desirable.  Maybe some of us are just less comfortable with "fuzziness"?

[Mmm_Donuts]

Crazyworld, this is an interesting counterpoint. I am very goal oriented, and I like to have deadlines and external expectations. So I find it difficult to "freestyle" my days, with small tasks that seem to go nowhere.

My way around this was to create projects for myself that interact with others. This could mean blogging about my project (every creative field and hobby has its niche of bloggers and forums out there) and documenting my projects with expectations from others to finish it at a self-determined deadline, and interacting with that community for encouragement and accountability and to share knowledge; or getting involved in other local real-life communities or boards. If it's just me doing my own thing for endless days with no goals, deadlines or accountability then it would be fairly boring and self indulgent. But sharing interests with others, even when my day to day work is pretty solitary, helps.

Kind of like this forum, actually! It's really helpful to be encouraged by others and have shared goals. In the workplace you have a somewhat predetermined community of coworkers. In FIRE your activities are self determined, and so is your community. You can find an online community for literally any hobby or activity you can possibly think of, and I'm sure we can all set audacious goals for ourselves that we are publicly accountable for, meanwhile sharing knowledge and asking questions, to make post FIRE life more meaningful.

[arebelspy]

What did you FIRE "to"

Travel.  Kids.  Time with DW.

There is line in the movie You, Me and Dupree....where Dupree says something like "You have lost your Carl-ness"  I think I have lost my tooqness - I really don't have a passion or desire for anything - its weird and sad. 

I've NEVER had it, so don't feel bad. :)

[soccerluvof4]

I retired FROM  not TO. The rest I am figuring out as I go and that in itself keeps me busy. I don't really have any passions either but with 4 kids I am plenty busy. By the time they are all out of the house I should hope to have figured it out.

[former player]

Work is a vampire, sucking your time and energy.  Kids are vampires, sucking time, energy and psychological support.  Dealing with both at once gives little time to replenish the blood supply and it is entirely unsurprising if the donor starts to feel anemic.  Once those external pressures are removed, they should be replaced with things that nourish rather than take blood.  The Dr Doom article is great for identifying a way to find those things.

(Can you tell kids are not my thing?  And nor, in retrospect, was work, even though I did well at it for a quarter of a century.)

[Optimus Primal]

Work is a vampire, sucking your time and energy.  Kids are vampires, sucking time, energy and psychological support.  Dealing with both at once gives little time to replenish the blood supply and it is entirely unsurprising if the donor starts to feel anemic.  Once those external pressures are removed, they should be replaced with things that nourish rather than take blood.  The Dr Doom article is great for identifying a way to find those things.

(Can you tell kids are not my thing?  And nor, in retrospect, was work, even though I did well at it for a quarter of a century.)

Do you have kids?

[tooqk4u22]

Lot of good thoughts and responses, glad to know I am not alone and this is mildly normal at least.  Seems that there is a commonality in that a departure from structure/goals is a big part of the issue.  It also seems that there are no shortage of ways to be busy, which I fully agree with, and a lot of people surprisingly don't have a "passion" that the retired to or will retire to - again this is surprising to me. 

Work is a vampire, sucking your time and energy.  Kids are vampires, sucking time, energy and psychological support.  Dealing with both at once gives little time to replenish the blood supply and it is entirely unsurprising if the donor starts to feel anemic.  Once those external pressures are removed, they should be replaced with things that nourish rather than take blood.  The Dr Doom article is great for identifying a way to find those things.

(Can you tell kids are not my thing?  And nor, in retrospect, was work, even though I did well at it for a quarter of a century.)

Well kids are my thing but what your comparison, while from a negative perspective, has a lot of truth to it.  In some regard, my OP issues likely stem from have very little unstructured/me/down time because of work, kids, DW, etc.  It could just be I am exhausted.  I am really hoping that once I get the stones to abort that I will decompress/figure some of it out within a year. 

[tooqk4u22]

What did you FIRE "to"

Travel.  Kids.  Time with DW.

Me too, except that I don't have anywhere near the explorative (crazy) nature that you do for travel....its awesome but doesn't fit into my structured life (dammit there I go again with that structure nonsense).

There is line in the movie You, Me and Dupree....where Dupree says something like "You have lost your Carl-ness"  I think I have lost my tooqness - I really don't have a passion or desire for anything - its weird and sad. 

I've NEVER had it, so don't feel bad. :)

hahahahahha

[AdrianC]

In some regard, my OP issues likely stem from have very little unstructured/me/down time because of work, kids, DW, etc.

Indeed. I used to feel bad about going out for a few hours of me-time on the weekends, so would hardly ever do it.

Today we got all the kids off to school by 9:15 then I went riding. No guilt.

It feels good to have some freedom.

[Metric Mouse]

Freedom is priceless. No idea why kids remove that for so many people... my 6-week old hasn't thrown such a wrench into my life that we feel we can't go riding or rock-climbing or camping. No guilt, no regrets.

[tooqk4u22]

Freedom is priceless. No idea why kids remove that for so many people... my 6-week old hasn't thrown such a wrench into my life that we feel we can't go riding or rock-climbing or camping. No guilt, no regrets.

Ahhh....six week old.  Maybe a little lost sleep now and then, but a lot like having an accessory as you basically carry them around like a purse. 

I don't think anyone is saying that kids are the issue per se, its primarily work that is the issue but then if you have kids you typically have less time for yourself.  As your kid gets older they will want and need more of you (activities, getting up for school, packing lunches, help with homework, etc) and in my case multiply that by three and it gets quite busy. 

I don't want to remove my kids, I want to remove my work.

[AdrianC]

Freedom is priceless. No idea why kids remove that for so many people... my 6-week old hasn't thrown such a wrench into my life that we feel we can't go riding or rock-climbing or camping. No guilt, no regrets.

During school time we currently have kid 1 leave at 6:30am, 2 at 7:40am, 3 at 9:15am. Returns home are at 2:15pm, 3:00pm and 4:15pm. If I'm going to be there for the kids I'm free between 9:15am and 2:15pm, that's 5 hours. It's going to be that schedule for 3 more years.

I suppose we could home-school...hmmm...nah!

[MustacheAndaHalf]

If you're on the fence, you read "Work Less, Live More" by Bob Clyatt (Nolo books).  For some people, it's a bit like the movie "Inception" where a concept just grows and grows as it makes more and more sense.  For people working in a high income job, it might be realizing most of your expense is paying taxes... which goes away with the income.  But a book like that can walk through some of the practicalities, and might help you.

[Metric Mouse]

Freedom is priceless. No idea why kids remove that for so many people... my 6-week old hasn't thrown such a wrench into my life that we feel we can't go riding or rock-climbing or camping. No guilt, no regrets.

Ahhh....six week old.  Maybe a little lost sleep now and then, but a lot like having an accessory as you basically carry them around like a purse. 

I don't think anyone is saying that kids are the issue per se, its primarily work that is the issue but then if you have kids you typically have less time for yourself.  As your kid gets older they will want and need more of you (activities, getting up for school, packing lunches, help with homework, etc) and in my case multiply that by three and it gets quite busy. 

I don't want to remove my kids, I want to remove my work.

Yes, 3X the children would not be good. I could see how having multiple children could remove too much free time from one's schedule.  I would not enjoy this.

[AdrianC]

Yes, 3X the children would not be good. I could see how having multiple children could remove too much free time from one's schedule.  I would not enjoy this.

3X the children is very good, very good indeed. I very much enjoy them. The loss of freedom was a very fair trade.

[JG in Hangzhou]

I have been institutionalized and broken. I need myself back.

I suppose there are things I might enjoy doing, like teaching or home construction - but not at the expense of having to do it full time and lose the flexibility that I so desire.

Been there.  Done that.  After being sent to China 10 times in one year, then moving to China and being sent to the USA 10 times that year, then being told the project was over and I should come home, but my company wasn't sure where I should go since my board member boss has just been fired;  I decided I was broken too.  I just didn't care enough to go back.   

For about two years my family lived in China while I tried some consulting and teaching.  My wife constantly wondered why we didn't just move back and get new jobs, but I couldn't do it.  I had been up through the ranks and seen the inside.  It was all complete nonsense.  The CEO was constantly gaming the investors and the market, pulling out money through preferred stock and screwing the companies valuation.  He bought small good companies and turned them into cash cow crap.  Even his close buddies on the board got fired every 3-4 years, just time enough for them to wise up.   

I work with universities and companies here over the past 8 years and also started a school, but in the end, the school is what I enjoyed best so that's what I do.  Meanwhile our savings in the US have grown past the 25x limit.  We are FI.   Now my guilt and shame about not working has melted away.  You could say I'm just justifying my situation, but I could say that I had been doing that all those years I worked in that bullshit environment.  I think I just woke up.   And you can too.

My advice:   Take your time, try doing a few different things without strong commitment and don't feel bad about breaking commitments if you aren't enjoying the work.   Help a friend do some construction, build a house, substitute teach, do some SAT or Math tutoring.  People may think you are wasting your time or your talents, but it depends on your goal.  If your goal is to feel good when you wake up every morning, then think about the difference between helping a kid pass his math test and making your production team make 10,000 tires this week, or improving the company's web site response by 0.5 seconds. 

[bownyboy]

I always find these conversations fascinating. For me work was always a means to an end. I have no problem imagining what I will be doing after work.

I could (and can) fill my time with:

Photography
Walking
Cycling
Learning a new language
Learning Piano
Re-learning Clarinet
Drawing / Painting
Gardening
Socialising
Charity work
Reading
DIY!
Visiting family / friends
Travelling
Cooking
Wellbeing - meditation, yoga, 7 minute exercise

And most importantly, just being with my partner doing 'nothing'. We love being with each other and can't wait to be FIRE'd.

Personally I can't wait to FIRE. 5 more years for us. Its hard not to count the days down and miss life as we're doing it!

[Tyler]

I didn't retire "to" anything.  Working gave me no time to figure out what the "to" should be.  Now I have time to figure it out.

+1.  I retired to freedom.  It took about six months for that freedom to fully detox me from my previous routine, at which point new interests I had never even considered took hold.  The designer in me always sees a blank slate as an opportunity, not a roadblock. 

[andystkilda]

We FIREd into a great abyss.

In the short-term it has been filled with travel and family adventures. In the long-term, it's anyone's guess.

[arebelspy]

We FIREd into a great abyss.

I love this.

Diving into adventure.