What's your weekly schedule breakdown?

[BeanCounter]

... and since I'm on a bit of a facepunch roll...

Living with family and getting advice on walks and naps from us is a bit like living in your grandma's basement - safe, comfortable, and BORING.  Don't get me wrong, I freaking love my walks, naps, reading, friend hangouts, hobbies, and unstructured schedule because it suits my current life stage and temperament. But also because it's a CONTRAST to earlier stages where I hustled, took risks, moved cities, met lots of people, and worked on complex and satisfying projects. 

Your cross-country bike trip sounds great but what then?  I'm going to say that it will feel good to get involved with something, for pay or volunteer, where it matters to you whether you show up and it matters to other people whether you show up. FIRE gives you the freedom to try different things but for optimum satisfaction, you have to commit to follow through and yes, even slogging.  Make sure the "cause" is worthwhile, if only to you, and dig in.  Doesn't need to be a lifetime commitment but needs to be some level of commitment. Kind of like dating. :)  Get connected!

And if you can't afford to live where you want without living with family, are you really FIRE?  Could you support a family in the locations you want to live?  You're thinking about a change of location. Maybe also consider making some more $$. You're in a great position to optimize a lot of things.

This is so well said!! +1

[poxpower]

Biking being a huge one. Music venues are probably big too. I don't really know myself but maybe scheduling some group activities or community classes or a volunteer activity a couple of times to see how it goes.

Yeah trying to make inroads with biking atm...
I should make more effort to contact people to hang out with on my trip. Already have maybe 10 people I want to visit but it'd be nice to find new ones.

Dating was sort of my socializing before I quit 3 months ago and I didn't replace it with anything so far, just quit out of frustration.

Big cities are expensive but they are also fun and full of new people and experiences.  I think you might consider moving to one, even for a short term, to get more pace and excitement in your life.

I did live in Montreal for 12 years. Even being in my 20s making social connections and dating was excruciatingly hard work for me. Then most of them moved away so u_u
Covid just also been weird times, especially in Canada where restrictions and mandates have been especially nutty now going on 2 years but finally relaxing.
Still see people with masks. I saw one person PUT ON THEIR MASK TO START DRIVING lol. Parked = No mask. Drive = Mask.

met lots of people

how did you usually meet people? Was this hard for you?

Your cross-country bike trip sounds great but what then?

I have no idea. Every option sounds like an extreme change to me and right now I just take it one day at a time as I can barely function but still manage to do my sports. If I let go of that routine then I'm 100% toast that's for sure. I think it took me 2 hours to write this message as I just try to explain my thought process to people without everything sounding like an excuse :p

I had gotten it in my head to just do something like complimenting one person a day when I'm outside but I can't even muster the courage even when I think of something and I know they'd be happy to hear it and I would be happy to have said it. That's kind of where I'm at now with social skills lol. If that puts anything in perspective.

Proud of where I'm at physically and financially considering I started basically at 0 on both counts as a 20 year old (obese art major lol) but just halfway there with the social things.

Anyway a lot of this is also just mindset. I know a lot of people who's lives I don't envy but who are brimming with happiness ( at least on the outside).

[Moustachienne]

Sounds like you're dealing with a lot poxpower, and doing well on several fronts.  You're the best judge of how much you can handle and what changes will be best for you in life. Just keep in mind that you don't have to make everything happen through "willpower".  Setting up satisfying routines, structures, and other external factors, e.g. living situations, can be really helpful.

I've always made friends through activities (high school, university, work, volunteering) and have retained one or two from each stage of my life so I've got quite a posse. :)  My husband picks up his friends the same way but as his interests are more niche, his posse is a lot smaller.  It's high quality, though, and that's what counts. I think the key here is to find something engaging to engage in - and the friends, casual or deeper, will follow. This is definitely harder in our 30's and 40's when people are very work and/or family focussed, especially if you're not in a traditional workplace. But not impossible.  I'm not surprised your Montreal uni friends fell away. That happened with most of my TO friends too, after a 6 year university/work stint in that city.  Most friends are situational and that's OK. Enjoy them when your lives align and move on when they don't.  A few may be good for periodic catchups or even the longer haul. It's a numbers game. :)

Love your idea of complimenting one person a day. I'd find that a challenge so maybe I'll try for one a week.

Sorry if I've missed a question/answer about this upthread. Are you seeing a counsellor?  That might be a very useful sounding board for you right now.

[poxpower]

And if you can't afford to live where you want without living with family, are you really FIRE?  Could you support a family in the locations you want to live?  You're thinking about a change of location. Maybe also consider making some more $$. You're in a great position to optimize a lot of things.

oops forgot to reply to that

I can still afford to live here but probably not entirely alone at this point due to the 30-40% increase in rents + 5-10% inflation of the last 1.5 years.
But honestly I don't particularly know that I want to be here anymore anyway, but I don't know where I'd want to be, at all. It would be nice to be settled somewhere instead of just floating about like I've been for 2+ years now...

[poxpower]

Setting up satisfying routines, structures, and other external factors, e.g. living situations, can be really helpful.

Yes everything's changed all at once since retiring: Within less than a year: New city, newly single after 7years, cut off ties with my mom after 30+ years of her abusive bs, end of project I'd been doing for 5+ years...

Lot of extra stress due to accounting/tax BS and randomly shifting covid policies/restrictions too... Now random rent/inflation spikes.

Yeah not been a stability-promoting 2 years lol. Partly my fault of course.

volunteering)

Was that hard for you to start?
Volunteering seems like such a normal natural part of everyone's life in here but I don't think I've ever known a person in my own life who volunteered regularly :o

A few may be good for periodic catchups or even the longer haul.

Yeah that's where most of my friends are at this point. Not much different than before honestly, it's just I wasn't single then so it didn't matter that much to see people less often because I'd just see my GF every day at least.
I still talk to probably 3-5 friends every day online if that counts for anything.

Love your idea of complimenting one person a day. I'd find that a challenge so maybe I'll try for one a week.

You seem very kind, I'm sure you can do it :D

Sorry if I've missed a question/answer about this upthread. Are you seeing a counsellor?  That might be a very useful sounding board for you right now.

I never have but I've thought about it often this last month...

[Mike in NH]

My days don't have a standard flow since retiring a few years ago. About 3-4 days a week I'll be out hiking which is generally a full day activity for me. I'm a creature of habit, so it's tough to regulate things like calorie intake when I go from 8+ hours of exercise one day to an hour the next.

I'll usually take 2-3 jobs a month as a mountain guide. My wife still chooses to work for a few more years so I'm not completely free to go wherever I'd like on a whim, longer term travel is out until she pulls the cord.   

Typical Non-hiking/Home Day:

Sleep until I wake up naturally around 7am (alarms are only for rare early wakeups)
Do the dishes, clean up around the house, feed the dog and take him out
Make my lovely wife whatever she would like for breakfast
I'll read
I'll exercise
I'll run some errands
I'll spend some quality time on my phone/internet/social media (connecting with family/friends, helping people in hiking groups with questions, sharing trip reports, researching and planning new adventures)

**This is a good start to a routine...but sometimes I do all this stuff and it's only 11am**

I'll spend some non-quality time on my phone/internet/social media/snacking/videogames...I dislike that these are my default time killers, especially social media. From your rundown of your typical day it seems like you might have a little too much of it as well.
Dinner
Maybe watch some TV or go chase a sunset with the fam
Read in bed, usually asleep by 10.

I'd love to find some sort of part-time data entry job or volunteer opportunity where I spend about 10 hours per week, but I'd have total control over the hours so I'm not committed on nice days and free when it's raining out. That's a tough target to hit in a small mountain town.

Covid brought puzzles into our lives, which are a nice thing to do. I also bought myself a keyboard because learning the piano seemed like a great use of spare mental energy, but it's in the room my wife uses as the office so that's been a barrier to consistent practice. Our place is a small two bed/two bath ski condo so there isn't much room for it elsewhere.

I like to ask myself the question, when is the last time you tried something for the first time? Generally when I'm in a rut the answer to this question is it's been too long.

[poxpower]

it's tough to regulate things like calorie intake when I go from 8+ hours of exercise one day to an hour the next.

haha yes. Does your body also default to "you need 4000 a day" mode?

From your rundown of your typical day it seems like you might have a little too much of it as well.

It's just that at some point you run out of mental energy... This is my self-reflection about it:
https://www.thepoxbox.com/posts/no-video-games-and-existential-boredom

What I found to work is really to have a bunch of ongoing little projects that you cycle through when you get bored enough. You'll often want to do nothing at all but there will be one thing on your to-do list that you might want to do the "most" so it's easier to get started on that on that day ( like say fiddle around with your piano for an hour or two ).

Then either you enjoyed doing the task enough that day to motivate you to do more of it the next day ( or same day ), you completed the task or you bored yourself with the task so much that next day you'll cycle to a different project instead.

I'd love to find some sort of part-time data entry job

What about commission work? Like start on fiver or some service like that and see if you can ever build a customer or skill base that leads you to something enjoyable?
At the very least it's something new that would keep you busy and learning a lot.

Covid brought puzzles into our lives

boom: https://www.amazon.ca/Educa-17570-Around-WorldS-Largest/dp/B077T6KPFH/ref=sr_1_8?crid=3MMYI7Z9KZTPN&keywords=18+000+piece+puzzle&qid=1650305397&sprefix=18+000+piece+puzzl%2Caps%2C147&sr=8-8

I like to ask myself the question, when is the last time you tried something for the first time? Generally when I'm in a rut the answer to this question is it's been too long.

That's smart. How much time is "too long"? A month? A year?

[ddragon2]

I'm FI in my 30s and I think that this is a great question.

The big challenge is to make sure that I don't spend all daywatching YouTube or on the internet. I have worked hard to include regular socialising and interaction with society into my day.

Monday:
go rock climbing with a friend, 8am-3pm
See a group of friends in the evening at a pub, 8pm-11

Tuesday:
Spend all morning at a forest playgroup with my daughter

Wednesday:
Work on projects

Thursday:
Martial arts class 12-2
Gym, sauna and drinks with friends 7pm-12pm

Friday:
Usually see friends in the evening

Weekend, family activities.

These regular scheduled events form a scaffold that I organise other activities around. I do a surprising amount of work work on a software SAAS side project I'm building, also lots of walks and meeting up with different friends.

[itsallgood]

My schedule most days.

a typical day

5:30-6AM - get up, coffee, internet
7:30 - 5 mile walk with 2 friends, almost every day in all kinds of weather
11 - yoga class - 3 times a week, some days followed by coffee with yoga friends
errands - store, dr, etc.
bike ride with DH - 2 days a week, weather permitting
4pm - a glass (or two) of wine (I like my happy hour early so it doesn't mess up my sleep)
6pm dinner & watch the depressing news
8pm - tv, read
9-10pm - sleep

DH plays golf 3 times a week

We usually don't do much on weekends because it's too crowded everywhere

maybe once a month we go out to dinner with friends

and visits with grandchildren (locally and out of town)

We retired at ages 51 (dh) and 48 (me) over 20 years ago.  We are now 75 and 69!   It's been a great 20+ years of retirement, feel so blessed.