Author Topic: Unhappy whatever I do  (Read 20118 times)

lordmetroid

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Unhappy whatever I do
« on: July 06, 2016, 07:43:45 AM »
When I am employed I feel miserable. My life is grinded away occupied at work for 8 hours a day and several hours in addition to that getting ready and going from and to work. Not only that, my life is totally controlled by an employement, it decided when I shall eat and when I shall sleep, when I shall be having some leisure time and so on.

Though, since September last year I have been unemployed. No need to worry about money as I had an unemployment insurance that been paying out 80% of my salary. However I am still not happy, nowdays I am wasting away lying on the couch and surfing the internet. Even things I do want to do like start my own business, I can't get myself to do. I have tried creating a schedule and get into some routine but I rather just surf the internet meaninglessly it seems.

I am miserable being unemployed as well!

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2016, 07:48:23 AM »
You might want to visit a doctor and get assessed for Clinical Depression.  You might need medication.  20mg of Flouxetine a day change my life in a profound way.

acroy

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2016, 08:16:16 AM »
Get yourself a plan, take a concrete pill and harden the *uck up.
A life is a terrible thing to waste. don't do it.
Unplug the internet and go do something!

capoevename

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2016, 08:19:09 AM »
I went through a period of no motivation during the end of college. Eating well, being in nature, and reading Stoic philosophy, specifically from the Romans (Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, Cicero, etc), got me out of it. I have no idea if they would do anything for you. To me, those habits made me feel in good health and made me find a purpose and work towards it.

I think some people are looking for FIRE as a way to solve their lack of meaning and purpose in life, which it probably won't do.

SteveRyeCurd

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2016, 08:45:25 AM »
To help tame my procrastination, I use a technique called timeboxing.

Decide that you're going to spend just 10 minutes working on something you've been avoiding.  That's usually small enough that it gets past your resistance.  After the 10 minutes, you can quit if you want, but often you'll be "into it" and want to keep going for a while.

Even getting 10 minutes of something done will give you a small feeling of accomplishment.

Lunasol

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2016, 08:52:02 AM »
Like Financial Velociraptor said, the circumstances are not the issue here, happiness comes from within

Do you think you could set little goals for everyday? I know I am motivated when I have a schedule planned for even the smallest things like making a call, a couple of things you can do:

-Gardening, plant some tomatoes
-Walk around your neighborhood
-Learn to do something you've never done (a language, a musical instrument)
-Call someone you barely get in touch with and whom you miss
-Watch a movie you've been interested in for a while and haven't managed to see
-Cook yourself some delicious dinner while you listen to music, no internet!
-Make some cool delicious lemonade and go to the local park for people watching
-Fix something around the house that you've been postponing
-If you have the means, plan a small trip somewhere fun, some place you've never been

There are only so many things you can do, you just need the motivation, hope you feel better!

Tyler

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2016, 09:00:00 AM »
I've felt that sense of aimlessness before.  It's fixable, but you have to take action. 

+1 to FV's depression comment.  Don't be afraid to see a doctor and/or ask a friend for help! 

Also, when I've been in a rut sometimes it helps to eliminate the easy fallback for a while.  Try taking a week off from the internet.  It could be that you're simply addicted and need to exercise your brain a bit. 

Finally, stop thinking about being miserable as that's just boxing yourself in.  Working or not working is not your problem.  Pursue happiness!

tooqk4u22

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2016, 10:22:24 AM »
I have felt that way too and it might be all the things that others above said.  It also might be that you still aren't free as you are unemployed and not FIRE'd, because of that there is a probably ticking clock about finding another job before the unemployment insurance runs out.  So while you are free right now it is not a permanent state - I find in these situations, such as mid-way through a vacation, my mind and mood will drift negative and focus on it almost being over and going back to hell.

It might be ambitious to start a business with limited time and money and those thoughts can be paralyzing to the point you convince yourself why bother to try.  You can still start a business, just do one that starts more like a side hustle so if/when you have to go back to work that you can continue it on the side and maybe it will be the thing that breaks you free.

Don't waste the time you have and combat this even if it is temporary - whatever you do enjoy this time somehow.

forummm

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2016, 10:26:24 AM »
What do you enjoy doing? Anything? Reading? Art? Exercise? Helping people? Start trying things that you like. Try things you don't know if you like. Go where your interests lead.

GrumpyPenguin

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2016, 12:39:25 PM »
You might want to visit a doctor and get assessed for Clinical Depression.  You might need medication.  20mg of Flouxetine a day change my life in a profound way.

This might be a good choice.  Ignore the person just telling you to "harden the F* up." As if that kind of advice helped anyone ever.

In any case, maybe starting things with baby steps will help.  Maybe a short walk every day, and maybe move it up to short jogs? Add more books, and a little less screen time? I'm addicted to internet/screen time too =/.

snogirl

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #10 on: July 06, 2016, 12:53:49 PM »
Hi!  Sorry to hear about what is going on for you. 
I have had to do a little bit of work in this area too (ie. happy).
What really helped me was everyday I would write a gratitude list.
5-10 things every single day that I am grateful for.  I tried to make them different everyday.
Also, I asked for help talking with someone I totally trusted face to face about what was really going on for me.
100% honesty.  In asking for feedback, I needed to become open to suggestions that made me a little bit uncomfortable.
My comfort, as sick as it sounds, was my unhappiness and negative thinking so I needed to step out a little of my comfort zone every day.
So I talked with my neighbors, volunteered with the Senior Center, helped my 80 year old Mom.
Anything that would make me move ie. take action.  The saying move a muscle change a thought really works!
I also stopped watching TV (I actually ditched Cable and the Internet at my home) so I would read more or go to the library for DVDs.
Riding my bike, walking my dog, (if you don't have a dog, the humane society need walkers). I take photographs of nature.
This is what I did to change my perspective.  Am I happy 100% of the time?  No of course not.  Life isn't that way.
But I laugh a lot, a fill my life with a small circle of people I trust, get fresh air and move off the couch.
You can do this!  Keep us posted how you are feeling?
« Last Edit: July 06, 2016, 12:55:45 PM by snogirl »

Stachey

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #11 on: July 06, 2016, 01:08:26 PM »
I find exercise really helps.  Even if it's just around the block you will feel better. 


Kell7279

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #12 on: July 06, 2016, 10:13:25 PM »
Quote
However I am still not happy, nowdays I am wasting away lying on the couch and surfing the internet. Even things I do want to do like start my own business, I can't get myself to do. I have tried creating a schedule and get into some routine but I rather just surf the internet meaninglessly it seems.

I honestly think this sounds like depression. I'm in grad school and had a really rough last semester. I was unhappy all the time. I had zero motivation. I could barely find the energy to get myself out of bed and showered, and when I did, I could really only manage to make it to the couch to binge watch Netflix. For the longest time, I thought I had just turned into a lazy piece of shit. Then I watched this TED Talk by Andrew Solomon: https://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_depression_the_secret_we_share?language=en. It felt like I was listening to someone else describing my experiences, only much more eloquently than I ever could. Long story short, I went to get help and am now in recovery thanks to  Zoloft, more exercise, and less stress. I really encourage you to go see a doctor. Life is too short to be miserable when you could be happy. I wish I had gone months before I did.

SachaFiscal

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #13 on: July 06, 2016, 10:32:32 PM »
Get yourself a plan, take a concrete pill and harden the *uck up.
A life is a terrible thing to waste. don't do it.
Unplug the internet and go do something!
I do this and it works

soccerluvof4

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #14 on: July 07, 2016, 05:32:04 AM »
Get up in the morning and go for a walk. I felt a lot like you and at times still do BUT by getting up and going for a walk no matter your age I believe you will find it very therapeutic as well as a way to clear your mind. From that you can build on. It does sound like you are suffering from depression but a pill isn't always the answer. Try this first and if that doesn't get things going then perhaps see a doctor.

ArcadeStache

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #15 on: July 07, 2016, 05:50:22 AM »
Another vote for getting exercise, especially outdoors. Being outside, whether walking, biking or even doing yardwork helps get me out of a funk. Apparently there are lots of studies that show the almost instant positive effects of being in nature on mood, blood pressure, etc. so if you can get out for a walk or bike ride in the woods somewhere, it'll help clear your mind. Even better if you work up a really good sweat.

Miss Prim

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #16 on: July 08, 2016, 08:03:20 AM »
You may be suffering from a chronic low level depression.  I did my whole life from age 12 until things got really bad in my early 50's.  I was put on an anti-depressant and it was like a miracle!  I was finally happy instead of always thinking that if I did this or accomplished that I would finally find happiness.  It could just be that you naturally have a chemical imbalance with your neurotransmitters.

I would definitely see a Dr. and give a course of anti-d's a try.  You might just find that happiness that you are seeking.  And give it a good month or two because it takes time to work.  Also, exercise is very important.  If you get out first thing in the morning and at least walk, you may find your happiness level improves and you will be ready to tackle whatever projects you would like to do.

                                                                                            Miss Prim

GrumpyPenguin

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #17 on: July 21, 2016, 09:54:55 AM »
Hey OP, how are things?

Kaspian

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #18 on: July 21, 2016, 11:13:08 AM »
Get yourself a plan, take a concrete pill and harden the *uck up.
A life is a terrible thing to waste. don't do it.
Unplug the internet and go do something!
I do this and it works

We've had a spate of suicides in my town lately--3 guys I knew, in their early 40s, offed themselves in the space of two months.  They've also had to have interventions at high schools in Canada 'cause so many kids were killing themselves.  Stats are way, way up.  Social media, culture change, Internet to blame?  My friend actually thinks there's a virus causing this level of depression.  There are millions of viruses out there that don't do anything to any noticeable things to us physically.

I get dark.  The darkness happens.  (Especially in winter.)  But I've learned to *become* the dark, embrace the hell out of it.  Would Darth Vader, Batman, or Skeletor sit there crying in the corner and feeling conflicted and sorry for himself?  No way, he'd figure out who's ass he was gonna shove the light saber up next.

Tan, take vitamins, workout!  Listen to Tony Robbins tapes (seriously--you just need the first one).  Do go see a psychiatrist if that doesn't help.

That said, when/where I grew up in the 80s, a guy was fully allowed to do something called "wigging out".  He'd buy a carton of smokes, lock himself in his room for two weeks, and do nothing but sleep, watch TV, and be a depressed slob eating brown beans right outta the can in stained underwear.  It was common knowledge as normal. 

"Where's John this week?  I haven't seen him."  "Oh, he's wigging out so won't be around."   "Oh, okay." 

Did it myself at least 3 or 4 times between 19 and 24.  Now people think there's something super wrong with you, get concerned, and people believe there's something wrong with themselves if they wig.  We live in a Care Bear society where everybody has to be happy all the time or there's something wrong.  Fuck that, being Prozac happy and on your game all the time isn't normal. 

Peter Gibbons

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #19 on: July 21, 2016, 01:01:32 PM »
I'm just over a month into FIRE and am about 80% done reading "The Joy of NOT Working" by Ernie Zelinski that was recommended elsewhere on this site.  Great book and I would highly recommend it for people that are searching for more rewarding ways to spend their non-working hours.

The book walks you through a brainstorming exercise to think about potential activities that you would like to do by thinking of the following categories:  1.  Leisure activities that I currently enjoy.  2.  Leisure activities that I have enjoyed in the past  and 3   New leisure activities that I have thought about doing. You can quickly make a list of over 50 ideas of things that you like to do.  The book suggests to do this in a graphic format like a mind-mapping exercise.

lordmetroid

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #20 on: September 24, 2016, 03:24:01 AM »
Hey OP, how are things?
I got a job as a teacher and now I am happy.

arebelspy

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #21 on: September 24, 2016, 04:04:28 AM »
Hey OP, how are things?
I got a job as a teacher and now I am happy.

Wow, great to hear it!
I am a former teacher who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and am now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about me, this Business Insider profile tells the story pretty well.
I (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out the Now page to see what I'm up to currently.

MarciaB

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #22 on: September 24, 2016, 12:15:53 PM »
Hey OP, how are things?
I got a job as a teacher and now I am happy.

Full time work? Part time? And good on you for making that happen for yourself.

lordmetroid

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #23 on: September 24, 2016, 02:32:58 PM »
Hey OP, how are things?
I got a job as a teacher and now I am happy.

Full time work? Part time? And good on you for making that happen for yourself.
Full time work, so the money hose is wide open. I am meeting so many people and am having fun and enjoying my days. Some student even call me out on smiling all the time thinking I am weird but it is just so much fun to interact with people.

MVal

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #24 on: September 24, 2016, 03:40:53 PM »
So strange, I was experiencing this very thing the moment I read your post--laying on the couch, wasting a Saturday on the internet for lack of motivation to do anything useful. I feel this way constantly and I am definitely one of the people who hope FIRE will help cure my ills, but I also fear I'll stay depressed and unmotivated even after obligatory work is gone.

GrumpyPenguin

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #25 on: October 01, 2016, 07:40:18 AM »
Hey OP, how are things?
I got a job as a teacher and now I am happy.

Full time work? Part time? And good on you for making that happen for yourself.
Full time work, so the money hose is wide open. I am meeting so many people and am having fun and enjoying my days. Some student even call me out on smiling all the time thinking I am weird but it is just so much fun to interact with people.

That's fantastic! I'm happy to hear it :-)

Libertea

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #26 on: October 01, 2016, 11:45:43 AM »
You might want to visit a doctor and get assessed for Clinical Depression.  You might need medication.  20mg of Flouxetine a day change my life in a profound way.
This.

Edit: glad to hear that you're enjoying the new job, OP.
« Last Edit: October 01, 2016, 11:48:04 AM by Libertea »

DailyGrindFree

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #27 on: October 01, 2016, 12:34:44 PM »
Quote
Quote from: MarciaB on September 24, 2016, 12:15:53 PM
Quote from: lordmetroid on September 24, 2016, 03:24:01 AM
Quote from: Alexander0405 on July 21, 2016, 09:54:55 AM
Hey OP, how are things?
I got a job as a teacher and now I am happy.

Full time work? Part time? And good on you for making that happen for yourself.
Full time work, so the money hose is wide open. I am meeting so many people and am having fun and enjoying my days. Some student even call me out on smiling all the time thinking I am weird but it is just so much fun to interact with people.

Great news! 👍

Mr. Green

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #28 on: October 01, 2016, 12:51:01 PM »
Glad you found your thing! I'm sure that had to be an awesome feeling to go from being unhappy all the time to being exceptionally happy all the time.

Enigma

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #29 on: October 04, 2016, 07:57:30 AM »
Congrats on the job!  Especially since it sounds like it is filling the void.  I thought about teaching when I leave my career in IT.

JG in Hangzhou

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #30 on: October 08, 2016, 10:21:39 PM »
... nowdays I am wasting away lying on the couch and surfing the internet. Even things I do want to do like start my own business, I can't get myself to do. I have tried creating a schedule and get into some routine but I rather just surf the internet meaninglessly it seems.


While it is depressing, I don't recommend medication.  Better is to find a partner.  I met my wife while I was unemployed for a year, living off the companies severance pay.  I didn't want to do nothing, but that's what I did.   I was lost, just like Lancelot's journey through the forest.  It was my wife that pushed me to keep looking for work, and shortly after I met her, I got a new job.  Years later when we moved to China, I went through a 3 month phase of this again.  To her credit she pushed me into doing some projects.  I didn't really like the work, but after churning through different things for a year, we started our school out here, and it really changed our life.   

So instead of looking for something to do, make sure you have someone to do it for.  Your SO, your family, your children, yourself (well, obviously, yourself may not be enough sometimes).  We are all human, and at some point, we all need support. 

arebelspy

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #31 on: October 08, 2016, 10:23:42 PM »
Putting your happiness on someone else may be unfairly asking a lot of them.
I am a former teacher who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and am now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about me, this Business Insider profile tells the story pretty well.
I (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out the Now page to see what I'm up to currently.

JG in Hangzhou

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #32 on: October 09, 2016, 12:44:06 AM »
Putting your happiness on someone else may be unfairly asking a lot of them.
I see your point, I guess I was lucky, as I didn't ask or expect the support, but it was there.   In the end, if we don't have family or friends that can help us through the rough times, then we are at risk of falling into the abyss.   As strong and as smart as we are, at some point, we all need some help some time. 
If you can't do it by yourself, get help, at least until you can do by yourself.   In my case I didn't look for the help, I just got it.  But in hindsight, I should have looked for help.  And I think the point of this post was that lordmetroid was reaching out for some help. 

Metric Mouse

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #33 on: October 09, 2016, 12:46:48 AM »
Hey OP, how are things?
I got a job as a teacher and now I am happy.

Full time work? Part time? And good on you for making that happen for yourself.
Full time work, so the money hose is wide open. I am meeting so many people and am having fun and enjoying my days. Some student even call me out on smiling all the time thinking I am weird but it is just so much fun to interact with people.

That's fantastic! I'm happy to hear it :-)

Awesome. I hope each day is better than the next!

arebelspy

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #34 on: October 09, 2016, 01:32:55 AM »
Putting your happiness on someone else may be unfairly asking a lot of them.
I see your point, I guess I was lucky, as I didn't ask or expect the support, but it was there.   In the end, if we don't have family or friends that can help us through the rough times, then we are at risk of falling into the abyss.   As strong and as smart as we are, at some point, we all need some help some time. 
If you can't do it by yourself, get help, at least until you can do by yourself.   In my case I didn't look for the help, I just got it.  But in hindsight, I should have looked for help.  And I think the point of this post was that lordmetroid was reaching out for some help.

Definitely.  I just wanted to add that caveat to what you seemed be saying (roughly "if you're unhappy, get in a relationship, that will solve it!"), but I absolutely agree with you--reaching out for help is the way to go.
I am a former teacher who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and am now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about me, this Business Insider profile tells the story pretty well.
I (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out the Now page to see what I'm up to currently.

scrubbyfish

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #35 on: October 09, 2016, 07:37:29 AM »
OP: So delighted that you found the lifestyle that gives you joy! Isolation can really do a number on those of us who need people/interaction.

...when/where I grew up in the 80s, a guy was fully allowed to do something called "wigging out".  He'd buy a carton of smokes, lock himself in his room for two weeks, and do nothing but sleep, watch TV, and be a depressed slob eating brown beans right outta the can in stained underwear.  It was common knowledge as normal. 

"Where's John this week?  I haven't seen him."  "Oh, he's wigging out so won't be around."   "Oh, okay." 

Did it myself at least 3 or 4 times between 19 and 24.  Now people think there's something super wrong with you, get concerned, and people believe there's something wrong with themselves if they wig.  We live in a Care Bear society where everybody has to be happy all the time or there's something wrong.  Fuck that, being Prozac happy and on your game all the time isn't normal.

I loved this :)

I don't do it for two weeks (or smoke), but I find it absolutely necessary to do a version of this for 1-3 days at times. You know you did it right if you smell pretty bad and feel pretty good by the end. I call it a "reset." Amazing what some chill, no expectations time can do for the spirit/body/mind. I actively promote it to others, and they end up finding it really effective too.

uppy

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #36 on: October 09, 2016, 10:29:57 AM »
Sounds like OP is in good shape, but for others who may be coming here for help, things I find that really help include:

-Doing something you KNOW you can do well. Anything. Cook something, sharpen a pencil with a knife, crossword, stupid stuff is OK. Don't attempt "impressive" things you used to be able to do...yet.
-Clean the sh*t out of your house. Like at unprecedented levels. Even if it's only the bathroom, break out the AJAX, snake the drains, Windex the mirrors, etc. This always feel really good afterwards.
-Listen to the funkiest, nastiest James Brown or Herbie Hancock you can find. You can't resist feeling a little groovy. If you're alone (or not), allow yourself to dance a little even in your desk chair.
-Then as you're walking around town and grocery shopping and getting sh*t done, keep playing that music in your head. It will be way more enjoyable.
-Most importantly: STAY IN THE PRESENT. Don't think about tomorrow or yesterday or later this evening. Try to stick to Right Now, how you are feeling, what's working what isn't, etc.

Stachey

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #37 on: October 09, 2016, 12:09:57 PM »
+1 uppy...very good ideas.

I would also add two points for anyone who gets into a similar low period: exercise and good food are VERY important.

Metric Mouse

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #38 on: October 09, 2016, 06:09:02 PM »
Sounds like OP is in good shape, but for others who may be coming here for help, things I find that really help include:

-Doing something you KNOW you can do well. Anything. Cook something, sharpen a pencil with a knife, crossword, stupid stuff is OK. Don't attempt "impressive" things you used to be able to do...yet.
-Clean the sh*t out of your house. Like at unprecedented levels. Even if it's only the bathroom, break out the AJAX, snake the drains, Windex the mirrors, etc. This always feel really good afterwards.
-Listen to the funkiest, nastiest James Brown or Herbie Hancock you can find. You can't resist feeling a little groovy. If you're alone (or not), allow yourself to dance a little even in your desk chair.
-Then as you're walking around town and grocery shopping and getting sh*t done, keep playing that music in your head. It will be way more enjoyable.
-Most importantly: STAY IN THE PRESENT. Don't think about tomorrow or yesterday or later this evening. Try to stick to Right Now, how you are feeling, what's working what isn't, etc.

Great, great, great post. Excellent suggestions.

My favorite 'perk me up' tune is "In the Mood" by Glenn Miller.  XS thinks I look looney dancing around the kitchen to those trombones cooking bun cha; but it's a great way to perk up even an average day.

uppy

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #39 on: October 10, 2016, 09:37:15 AM »
Sounds like OP is in good shape, but for others who may be coming here for help, things I find that really help include:

-Doing something you KNOW you can do well. Anything. Cook something, sharpen a pencil with a knife, crossword, stupid stuff is OK. Don't attempt "impressive" things you used to be able to do...yet.
-Clean the sh*t out of your house. Like at unprecedented levels. Even if it's only the bathroom, break out the AJAX, snake the drains, Windex the mirrors, etc. This always feel really good afterwards.
-Listen to the funkiest, nastiest James Brown or Herbie Hancock you can find. You can't resist feeling a little groovy. If you're alone (or not), allow yourself to dance a little even in your desk chair.
-Then as you're walking around town and grocery shopping and getting sh*t done, keep playing that music in your head. It will be way more enjoyable.
-Most importantly: STAY IN THE PRESENT. Don't think about tomorrow or yesterday or later this evening. Try to stick to Right Now, how you are feeling, what's working what isn't, etc.

Great, great, great post. Excellent suggestions.

My favorite 'perk me up' tune is "In the Mood" by Glenn Miller.  XS thinks I look looney dancing around the kitchen to those trombones cooking bun cha; but it's a great way to perk up even an average day.

:) "In the Mood" is a classic.

This is one of my favorites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcZ5NNuPq-c

GrumpyPenguin

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #40 on: October 16, 2016, 06:18:12 AM »
Sounds like OP is in good shape, but for others who may be coming here for help, things I find that really help include:

-Doing something you KNOW you can do well. Anything. Cook something, sharpen a pencil with a knife, crossword, stupid stuff is OK. Don't attempt "impressive" things you used to be able to do...yet.
-Clean the sh*t out of your house. Like at unprecedented levels. Even if it's only the bathroom, break out the AJAX, snake the drains, Windex the mirrors, etc. This always feel really good afterwards.
-Listen to the funkiest, nastiest James Brown or Herbie Hancock you can find. You can't resist feeling a little groovy. If you're alone (or not), allow yourself to dance a little even in your desk chair.
-Then as you're walking around town and grocery shopping and getting sh*t done, keep playing that music in your head. It will be way more enjoyable.
-Most importantly: STAY IN THE PRESENT. Don't think about tomorrow or yesterday or later this evening. Try to stick to Right Now, how you are feeling, what's working what isn't, etc.

Great advice.  Cleaning my place does always make me feel a little better, if at the least it makes me feel more at peace in my home.

lordmetroid

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #41 on: October 18, 2016, 08:56:27 AM »
Now, having worked for 2 months. I am unhappy again.
I am never going to be able to amass enough money to retire and if I somehow do manage I will be equally miserable.

Seems like I am just a sad old dude!

pbkmaine

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #42 on: October 18, 2016, 09:08:41 AM »
What happened?

HAPPYINAZ

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #43 on: October 18, 2016, 10:22:46 AM »
Did you go to a doctor and get evaluated for depression?  Perhaps some medication can help if it's really depression. 

arebelspy

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #44 on: October 18, 2016, 07:22:44 PM »
What changed?
I am a former teacher who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and am now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about me, this Business Insider profile tells the story pretty well.
I (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out the Now page to see what I'm up to currently.

CanuckExpat

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #45 on: October 18, 2016, 07:50:22 PM »
OP, thanks for being so forthcoming with your updates. I had saw your thread originally and was encouraged when you posted your first update. As others have mentioned, please do see a professional if you think it is warranted.

If it is not too much to ask, I'd also be curious to know what changed originally to make you think you were happy, and that changed again to make you unhappy (as is possible to describe).


Metric Mouse

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #46 on: October 18, 2016, 08:00:46 PM »
Now, having worked for 2 months. I am unhappy again.
I am never going to be able to amass enough money to retire and if I somehow do manage I will be equally miserable.

Seems like I am just a sad old dude!

Sorry to hear this.

MoonLiteNite

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #47 on: October 19, 2016, 04:13:31 AM »
Volunteer work!
Gives you something to do, and others are counting on YOU to help them.
You do not do it for money, you do not do it because you have to, but you do it because you make a promise to go help a stranger....

So go online, which you do alot of, and signup for a litter pickup day, or to hang out with a kid after school!

Enigma

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #48 on: October 19, 2016, 04:35:26 AM »
When I became a teacher I was happy for a little while.  Really wanted to get into computers though.  I found myself getting my master's degree in IT/computers and pursuing what I wanted to do in life.  Find what will make you happy bud.

tooqk4u22

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Re: Unhappy whatever I do
« Reply #49 on: October 19, 2016, 09:03:24 AM »
Now, having worked for 2 months. I am unhappy again.
I am never going to be able to amass enough money to retire and if I somehow do manage I will be equally miserable.

Seems like I am just a sad old dude!

Sounds like you have AHWDD (Acute Hate Working Dysphoria Disorder).  I think I have it also.   

As I said above, I can relate.  Like others have suggested here, people in my life have suggested the same:

- get therapy/counseling for something (depression, etc) - the thing is I don't feel depressed and am generally fine when not working. I don't have a gloomy outlook and am not overly stressed. Work is the issue.  If you are also miserable/unhappy outside of work then maybe therapy should be considered. 

- do what you love - easier said than done when (a) you have no F'in idea what that is or can be and (b) you actually need money to pay to live which only gets worse when you start adding kids to the equation. Also, Maybe love is too much, how bout start by finding something you care about, even with your current job and focusing on that.

For me I think it is that I just don't like work.....or more accurately the other stuff that goes with it such as having to be there full time, not controlling your time and schedule, not being able to nap or do whatever you want when you want, etc....you know all the bullshit that comes with a job.  That has always been the #1 reason for trying to have FU money and FIRE.   One thing I am very self aware about is that I DON'T like being controlled or not having control AND I absolutely have an AUTHORITY ISSUE and never have all the way back to when I was a kid.

Ensuring the kids are well cared for with all needs met and FIRE have been my primary motivations for getting through it all this time.  I kind of think it is my evolutionary background that may be playing a role in this....ie I may be closer to caveman than modern day working drone.  Cavemen simply "worked" when they needed to eat or protect....the rest of the time was leisure.  Not saying that was a glorious life but something to think about....are you more inclined to caveman/simpleton?

Anyway I don't think you are alone in this. Peter Gibbons always comes to mind.

So I am going with I suffer from AHWDD.

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!