Author Topic: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?  (Read 3807 times)

Fresh Bread

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When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« on: January 31, 2021, 03:51:01 PM »
Hi all,

I'm FI but have kept a little part-time business going (it used to be full-time but I pared it back). It's sort of seasonal work so I have a lot of free time - this week I have nothing at all to do on it except prepare one invoice!

I'm struggling to decide what I should do with all my time. I guess I thought I had some hobbies and plans for retirement but now I have loads of time I can't really be bothered with them and I have been out of the game so long I'm not that good at them anymore eg drawing. I'm doing a lot of reading, but also a lot of pointless scrolling and annoying myself and feel like I should be doing something more worthwhile. I never achieve the state of "flow" that people talk about and I really want to.

It's possible the pandemic has something to do with this feeling (I'm in Australia and yes we are doing well but things feel different).

One key thing I have changed so far is getting up at the same time everyday and having a morning and evening routine so at least the necessary things like the dishes and tidying up get done without it being a big demand on my mental load. Found a great app to help with this. One reason I may let my business go is that it is very irregular and difficult to keep a routine - it's definitely not helped in maintaining other interests and so on. My husband is very much a non-planner and easy-going/ take things as they come kind of guy, but that doesn't work for me so I will end up doing a lot of the planning even though he will do his fair share of the 'doing'. I think that's a typical scenario.

I read a book that suggested making a huge list of all my dreams. Well I think that was a big mistake because I made a huge list of things like crafts I want to learn and other goals like run 5k, and now I don't know where to start. My guess is it would be best to just pick a thing randomly til I find something I feel I have a bit of a knack for and then work on that til I get a bit of flow going? My husband has a hobby but I tried it and didn't like it (it's an extreme sport!

A lot of the resources and books out there really focus on work (and I have read a lot of them) so this forum may be the best place to get some guidance!

Has anyone had a similar experience? Got any tips? Should I just concentrate on building the habits and structure of my day first do you think?

former player

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2021, 04:16:22 PM »
I've been FIREd for 10 years.  I don't have the complete answer, but do have some thoughts.

My daily routine was imposed on me when I got a dog - there is this canine person depending on me to get up at a certain time every day, to feed him at certain times, to take him out for walks.  An app is probably cheaper and easier (but possibly less rewarding overall).

Your older self will thank your current self for moving your body every day.  Nothing extreme is required, just walking and stretching and lifting things on a regular basis. 

The point of a hobby is that you don't have to be good at it.  Work has to be done well because people are depending on it being done well, and are paying for it to be done well.  A hobby only has to be done as well as is needed for it to be enjoyable to do it.  Nobody has any right to criticise you for how you are doing other than yourself, and nobody else has to see what you are doing unless you want them to.  And in any case the more time you spend on it the better you are going to get.  So the only criterion for taking up a hobby is: are you going to enjoy it?  Nothing else matters.

My final thought is: you don't actually have to do anything, beyond a basic routine and a bit of daily exercise.  You have earned the right to do nothing else.  You have earned your way out of the Protestant work ethic and you no longer have to fill every minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run.  You can spend the morning reading and the afternoon napping in a hammock and there's nothing wrong with that.  That is particularly the case if you are new to not having to work: you need a period of decompression.  Work is an institution and we all become institutionalised by it to a greater or lesser extent, and as someone freshly released from that institution you can take the time to smell the flowers and work out later whether smelling flowers is enough or something other way of passing the time has taken your fancy.

GreenEggs

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2021, 05:22:58 PM »
I'm struggling a bit with it too.  I can't rattle off a bunch of theoretical excuses, but that wouldn't be very helpful to you. 


You mentioned that you have enjoyed drawing in the past.  If you'd like to get back into drawing perhaps taking a drawing workshop would help jumpstart and rekindle the passion.


If you meant that you enjoyed drawing in the past, but not sure that you want to pursue drawing again, maybe there are other art or craft mediums that you'd like to explore.  Is there a craft school or community college nearby where you could dabble in a variety of things & see if you get hooked on any of them?  I studied glassblowing and wished that I'd had had time to study all of the other mediums that the school offered.  I have always liked making things and learning new skills. 

Now there's the magic of YouTube.  You could look for inspiration there for anything you've ever imagined trying.     

What kind of things are you interested in?  Jot down a long list of anything and everything that you've ever been interested in.  Examine your list.  Look for themes or categories.  Juggle the topics around and see what your list tells your heart.  Which things seem to fit well into your idea of a happy & fulfilling future?  Call those things "list #1".  Make list #2, #3, etc.  Show your lists to your DH & see what he thinks.  He might point out things that you don't see or didn't consider. 


You might come up with a lot of things that you want to do.  You might just zero in on one or two.


Some of the things could be seasonal, or they might be short-term, or you might discover some that you want to do till the end.  Be flexible, there are no rules.   











 








ysette9

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2021, 05:47:16 PM »
Posting to follow. I FIREd in March with a list of random things I wanted to do. Then of course Covid shutdown hit and my time is entirely filled with childcare and schooling and nonsense. I still really look forward to having my own time in the future so Iíll need to figure this question out eventually.

draco44

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2021, 07:26:42 PM »
I've felt the same way sometimes. Here's my two cents:

First, I really liked @former player's comments about hobbies. You can do want to want with your life. If what you want is to acquire new skills, focus on doing and learning more than mastery, at least to start. And if mastery never comes, that's okay too. I've taken countless one-off workshops in different skills just to get a taste of some new area of knowledge. And I've also abandoned some projects I originally meant to go further with but after giving something an honest try, realized that pushing through to excellence wasn't worth it to me because it would mean compromising other elements of my life. In those cases, I still learned something, and also am now in a position to better appreciate the mastery of others in those fields.

If you are having trouble building up the internal momentum to do something new, start small to give yourself a win as soon as possible. This could be accomplished either by (1) picking a small overall goal (maybe today is the day you finally learn how to fold a napkin into the shape of a swan? or learn the most efficient way to dry your hands using a paper towel? (https://www.ted.com/talks/joe_smith_how_to_use_a_paper_towel/transcript?language=en)) or (2) making it your goal for today to finish the tiniest possible piece of a bigger goal, and no more. For example, you are not going to run a 5k today. But maybe you ARE going to put running shoes on, walk once around your block, and then go home.

Continuing with the running example, if you do want to train up to some larger goal, consistency of training is more important than pushing yourself to your limit. If today you walked one block, your goal for tomorrow can be to do that again, and no more. Keep going for a week, establishing the habit that you are getting out and moving regularly, and not worrying how far or fast you go. Then you can slowly start scaling up. There are sample running plans you can find for free or cheap like None to Run or Couch to 5k. But the main thing is establishing a habit that walking/running is something you do regularly. If you're the sort of person who likes progress tracker journals, you can make a running calendar and reward yourself with a literal or electronic gold sticker every day you meet your training goal. Also, if you do go the tracker route, it doesn't have to be super serious! I once made an exercise tracker sheet peppered with internet cat memes. I didn't want to disappoint those stupid cats by breaking my workout schedule!

Finally, it sounds like "what do I do first?" is a mental block for you. If that's the case it's actually very powerful to, as you suggested, just pick something at random and give it a try. If the list you wrote is numbered, draw a number out of a hat and see what fate decides. You can't do everything at once anyway, and in the right frame of mind, picking a new thing to do at random could be a fun challenge. That said, if for some reason you see what number you've picked and suddenly have a feeling of dread, that can be an opportunity to rethink if everything on your bucket list needs to stay on the list. If you're just nervous that can be something worth working through but if you in your heart of hearts don't feel like doing the thing you first pick, you can just let it go and try something else instead.

Best of luck to you!

Fresh Bread

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2021, 09:23:24 PM »
@former player Thanks for your advice. I actually have a dog, so a short walk each day is covered! She's way too easy going about routines tho. Good point about hobbies being supposed to be fun. I always end up thinking about how everything could be monetised, or worse, put it on a to-do list and make it a chore.

@GreenEggs I think the problem is that there are so many things I might have an interest in. I think my hobby could end up being trying new hobbies!

@draco44 So true about appreciating the mastery. That happened to me with spoon carving! I will start small for sure. I have the couch to 5k app and did it many years ago but got sick and had to stop. And I like the idea of the random generator. I've got 45 months til I turn 50 so I could pick a thing every month. Then by age 50 hopefully I can say I have dabbled in a bunch of things but now spend most of my time on X so that I can become an expert.

Another thing is that I constantly come up with business ideas but have no drive or need (since I'm FI) to make them happen. Like, I could begin something but there's no way I'm putting in the hours to make something take off. But it bugs me that I don't try. I was thinking of making a social media account called "Your daily business idea" where I share my brain poops. Some are silly but some could actually work and maybe someone with more drive could investigate!

2sk22

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2021, 03:55:37 AM »
Here is one framework I use to think about this issue: for most hobbies, you need some combination of:
  • time
  • space
  • money
  • ability

And of course, there are always constraints. So your first step needs to be to address these constraints.

As I was entering retirement last year, I felt that I was well set with everything except space. In retirement, I now had time and money. As far as ability, I have been an electronics experimenter and tinkerer all my life so I knew what I wanted to do, namely robotics.

We have lived in the same house for over twenty years and the basement, where I wanted to set up my hobby space was overflowing with junk and furthermore, was very cold and drafty in the winter. The first four months of retirement have been spent mainly in getting our basement renovated. The work has just wrapped up and I now have a great space for my hobbies.

cool7hand

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2021, 05:14:25 AM »
It sounds like you might be searching for more purpose. This TED talk might help you identify which of your needs point toward the purpose that's right for you. https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_why_we_do_what_we_do?referrer=playlist-the_most_popular_talks_of_all

Malcat

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2021, 05:49:50 AM »
Personally, I had to let go of trying to be productive in order to start doing things without feeling pressured to do so.

I kind of retired twice in the last year. In the first round, I immediately registered for an intensive graduate degree just to fill my time. I did not overly enjoy it and it felt like work. I was lured away from the degree by a business opportunity that came up that I couldn't say no to, so I de-retired.

That deal fell through quickly and I de-retired. I had been burned pretty badly, and just didn't want to do anything, so I didn't. I watched a ton of tv and read a ton of books and did little much else for awhile as I decompressed.

Decompression is real, and it takes time. I found I had to go through a few months of letting myself be very lazy in order to get over the pressure. I had to let myself get really, really bored.

After I did that, I just naturally started wanting to do things. Not because I felt I should be "productive" but because I have stretches of days ahead of me, and tv and reading get dull after awhile, so why not do the heaps of cool activities that life has to offer??

I now pretty much never have that "oh, I should do something" pressure. Now I just get up and do things because that's what I feel like doing. I've also been surprised by the things I feel like doing, they're not necessarily what I would have pressured myself into.

Basically, I just wouldn't worry about it. Be as lazy and useless as you want for awhile. I'm betting that if you're a Mustachian, it will get old pretty quickly and you don't have to worry that you'll never get back to being productive. Chances are that if you really give yourself that break from pressure and planning your time, real inspiration to do cool things will bubble up on its own.

nirodha

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2021, 11:56:21 AM »
I took 3 months off last year and I am stopping work Friday. I found it helpful to gather up all my ideas into a planning tool, then create a rough daily schedule in a Google calendar. I took this pretty far, even centralizing lists of media I want to consume or had already bought.

I found this helped bridged the need for structure I had, with removal of work. I continued to use the tools after returning and expect them to persist life long. Now that my time is my own, I want to take a more active role in using it well.

Setting up a google calendar is obvious. This is the planning tool that is working well for me:

https://ticktick.com/

I also found my wife was very interested in both the lists and schedule. It lead to constructive conversations around how the time will be spent. We uncovered assumptions on both sides and set clear expectations. The transition still had some conflict and hurt feelings at times, but was overall very positive.

spartana

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2021, 12:25:41 PM »
I follow Ben Franklin's (yes that dude) advice on doing just one thing on your list of things for one week (although I prefer a month) and see how it goes. Don't try to do it all. Pick the one thing you want to change (a bad habit or a fun activity - doesn't matter) work on it for a week (or month) and then either keep it or let it go and move on to the next thing. I've found this very effective for both motivation as well as figuring out what it is I really want to do and what I don't.

Lukim

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #11 on: February 01, 2021, 05:55:41 PM »
Fresh Bread,

I can relate to your post.

I am Australian based.  I am well and truly FI but I have continued to work but due to Covid 19 restrictions, my work has slowed substantially and it is uncertain where it will go from here.  Financially, it will not make any major impact if I stopped work all together.

I did try retirement a couple of years ago - it only lasted a few weeks before I was tempted back to work due to the fear of being bored.

Now while I am working from home with Covid (only a few hours a week), I have lots of time to engage in new hobbies but I find myself doing none of them as I think "I can't go out as a I have a conference call in 3 hours time", so the whole day then gets wasted.

I like the idea of organising a calendar of hobbies / activities - I need to get organised and do it.
Ironically, I can organise a team of people for work tasks but I cannot organise myself for any leisure activities.

Look forward to reading others comments on this topic.


Fresh Bread

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #12 on: February 01, 2021, 08:11:48 PM »
Thanks all for your advice and shared experiences! Some great stuff there.

So my plan is:

1) Keep going with a fairly structured day, in that I'm trying to get up & go to bed at the same time. If I lie in bed for a couple of hours scrolling my phone I really don't like myself after. And a regular sleep pattern is better for my health.

2) I'm also trying to detox from my phone in general. I've deleted Twitter & Tiktok as they are really bad for losing time. IG & FB I find quite dull so aren't an issue. Now the US has calmed down a bit and our virus situation seems back under control I'm not glued to news sites either.

3) Today I'm putting all my things (I think) I want to do onto paper so I can draw them out of a hat! One thing a month. And if I draw one out and feel bleugh then I'll choose another. I'm hoping that other things will just naturally happen anyway as I get an urge to do them and actually get off the couch.

To help with this I'm using the 5 second rule where you count back from 5 and move before your brain can talk you out of it! Motivation is hard.

4) In doing step 3, I'm finding that some of my list aren't really things you 'do' but are instead high level goals and sometimes more like a core value. I'll keep this list too and then check that what I'm doing aligns with those. They are things like "Find my tribe" which obviously may come as a result of new activities and "Leave no footprints" ie I don't want to do things that don't align with my environmental ideals.

Linea_Norway

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #13 on: February 02, 2021, 02:50:36 AM »
If you often think you need to monitize your hobbies, you are maybe still in your "being productive" mode. There is no need at all to be productive anymore, as you don't need the money.

And yes, maybe you should start your social media account for business ideas, just to be able to vent your ideas.

2sk22

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #14 on: February 02, 2021, 03:05:47 AM »
If you often think you need to monitize your hobbies, you are maybe still in your "being productive" mode. There is no need at all to be productive anymore, as you don't need the money.

This is a great point. When I started working thirty years ago, the distinction between work and personal life was much clearer. I didn't think about work in the evenings and weekends. But over the years, "work" progressively grabbed more and more of my time. It took a full three months to let go of my need to do something productive at all times.

Malcat

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #15 on: February 02, 2021, 05:37:03 AM »
If you often think you need to monitize your hobbies, you are maybe still in your "being productive" mode. There is no need at all to be productive anymore, as you don't need the money.

This is a great point. When I started working thirty years ago, the distinction between work and personal life was much clearer. I didn't think about work in the evenings and weekends. But over the years, "work" progressively grabbed more and more of my time. It took a full three months to let go of my need to do something productive at all times.

I still think you need to properly detox first.

You're still in the state of forcing yourself to do things as a punishment for not being productive enough. That's really no way to live when you don't have to.

Seriously, motivation is not hard once your system adjusts to the fact that it's not work anymore. But that adjustment takes time.

stoaX

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2021, 07:23:40 AM »
I retired a little less than 2 years ago and I can relate to your post. I don't have any great words of advice but I do think the fact that you are thinking about your habits and routines is half the battle.  I suspect things will get better and better for you.

zinnie

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #17 on: February 02, 2021, 09:42:46 AM »
@Fresh Bread I could have written this post myself, including the updates. I'm only a few months in and when I first left my job I found myself immediately trying to replace it with something else that felt "equal." I also have a ridiculous amount of things I want to do, and because of that so many things I start and don't finish. I think it was actually a Warren Buffet quote about success that made me realize that saying no to stuff is just as important as what you say yes to.

You mentioned high level goals/core values and that's what I've been trying to focus more on. I did this whole exercise where I thought about my whole life and what things I have been the most drawn to. When you think about your whole life and what you have enjoyed most or been the most passionate about, what comes to the top? Can you use that to determine what is MOST important and let go of a lot of the rest? You don't have to do all the things, unless you want to.

Iím always the most engaged when Iím learning and writingóso Iíve signed up for a couple of grad classes. I prefer biking/transit/walking over needing to own a car and so I'm trying out a couple of volunteer orgs that advocate for livable streets. Iím concerned about misinformation and believe that democracy can only work with an informed public so Iíve started attending talks and have reached out to a few people doing work in that area to see where I can get involved.

So then exercise, creativity/ hobbies, and other outdoorsy things are more for health, relaxation, and socialization but aren't necessarily aligned to high level goals. I can pick these up and drop them and don't have to feel bad about it :)

Good luck with all the schedule stuff. Iím still working that out. I'm trying to do a basic mon-fri schedule where there are a few hours of productive/ core stuff each day and then the nights and weekends are for fun/leisure activities. I've also been trying the Pomodoro method and it definitely helps!

Overall this is a really big adjustment from a job setting your goals/structure to having complete freedom to figure it all out on your own. It's definitely been weird at first but I can already feel myself letting go of feeling like I need to be super productive all the time. I can just chill for a day, too, and that's just fine  :)

chevy1956

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #18 on: February 03, 2021, 03:49:28 AM »
I stopped working at the end of last September. I'm doing great. At the start I think I was smoking a bit too much pot but I quit for 6 weeks. I'm on a roll now though. I've been doing jiu-jitsu 3-5 times per week and spending heaps of time doing recovery workouts, playing guitar and reading.

This is at the moment for me pretty darn special. I'm turning 48 this year.

Fresh Bread

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #19 on: February 03, 2021, 04:23:03 AM »
I put 80+ ideas in a jar, and it looks like this month I'm learning to crochet! The first idea I pulled out involved too much effort so went back in for another time...
« Last Edit: February 03, 2021, 04:25:09 AM by Fresh Bread »

Mike in NH

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #20 on: February 03, 2021, 05:40:58 AM »
It took me a while to come around to the realization that it was completely ok to do nothing some days. I felt guilty if I wasn't productive every day.

As far as where to start, don't overcomplicate it, you start right where you are. If you want to run a 5k. Go for a walk. Jog the last bit home. The next day try and jog a little further, and so on each time. 

One thing that I have found to be really helpful during Covid is to have some things around that I can put my mental energy into. We try to have a puzzle going at all times. When I start to feel that state of mental unease, I just go sit down and work on the puzzle for a bit. I find it very comforting.

Linea_Norway

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #21 on: February 03, 2021, 06:30:33 AM »
I put 80+ ideas in a jar, and it looks like this month I'm learning to crochet! The first idea I pulled out involved too much effort so went back in for another time...

Nice. You could buy a booklet with beginner sweaters including a bunch of the correct size wool and pins. Then it is not difficult to knit your first sweater. Those booklets sometimes have basic knitting instructions in the back. Just make sure it is really for beginners.

GreenEggs

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #22 on: February 03, 2021, 07:24:55 AM »
We, actually DW, just got a new kitten.  If we pulled "Knitting" from the hat I think we'd have to put that one on hold for the moment.  We've never had such a sweet & lovey cat before. It's still really small, and it just loves to sit on DW's shoulder or lap for hours while she reads.  A ball of yarn wouldn't be safe in our house. 

Fresh Bread

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #23 on: February 03, 2021, 01:15:38 PM »
We, actually DW, just got a new kitten.  If we pulled "Knitting" from the hat I think we'd have to put that one on hold for the moment.  We've never had such a sweet & lovey cat before. It's still really small, and it just loves to sit on DW's shoulder or lap for hours while she reads.  A ball of yarn wouldn't be safe in our house.

It will be a mission with our dog too! Cutting up the list of ideas was hard enough as she loves ripping paper!

poxpower

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #24 on: February 03, 2021, 01:32:54 PM »
I like your jar idea haha.

I'd split things into those that are time-sensitive and those that aren't. You can learn how to knit any time, learning to knit today vs in 20 years doesn't impact your life a whole lot.

First thing I'd do is focus on getting in shape and that's a nice big goal that can be your entire year's focus honestly. But that's a goal that's better started right now than any time in the future. This, above everything else, is what pays the highest dividends long-term. Plus your husband will be happy hehe.
This is what I recommend: https://scoobysworkshop.com/

100% free and covers everything you need to ever know.

edit: Oh and like everyone already said: Take it slow. Start slow! And one tip from me: Actually do things, don't just read about things/watch videos. A lot of people feel that learning about self-improvement is the same as self-improvement. They'll read piles of books, make plans, have dreams but at the end of the day all they'll have done is to read 30 hours of material and then just play video games. Not one push up was done lol.
« Last Edit: February 03, 2021, 01:36:42 PM by poxpower »

draco44

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #25 on: February 03, 2021, 05:57:35 PM »
I put 80+ ideas in a jar, and it looks like this month I'm learning to crochet! The first idea I pulled out involved too much effort so went back in for another time...

Nice. You could buy a booklet with beginner sweaters including a bunch of the correct size wool and pins. Then it is not difficult to knit your first sweater. Those booklets sometimes have basic knitting instructions in the back. Just make sure it is really for beginners.

Have fun learning to crochet! To me a sweater would be way too hard as a first project. Maybe try a potholder or scarf to get your rows straight and even, then a hat or granny square to learn decreases/increases in a circle. To each their own, though!

Fresh Bread

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #26 on: February 03, 2021, 06:41:35 PM »
First thing I'd do is focus on getting in shape and that's a nice big goal that can be your entire year's focus honestly.... Plus your husband will be happy hehe.

Thanks for your feedback but I think you've made quite a few assumptions there! My job is active, I'm naturally slim but I'm no good at running a distance. And hopefully my husband wants me happy & healthy. 

Fresh Bread

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #27 on: February 03, 2021, 06:43:56 PM »
I put 80+ ideas in a jar, and it looks like this month I'm learning to crochet! The first idea I pulled out involved too much effort so went back in for another time...

Nice. You could buy a booklet with beginner sweaters including a bunch of the correct size wool and pins. Then it is not difficult to knit your first sweater. Those booklets sometimes have basic knitting instructions in the back. Just make sure it is really for beginners.

Have fun learning to crochet! To me a sweater would be way too hard as a first project. Maybe try a potholder or scarf to get your rows straight and even, then a hat or granny square to learn decreases/increases in a circle. To each their own, though!

Thanks! I was going to go for a dishcloth! I'm left handed but have found a great series for LH beginners on YouTube. It's by an account called Bella Coco I think.

poxpower

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #28 on: February 03, 2021, 07:45:48 PM »
First thing I'd do is focus on getting in shape and that's a nice big goal that can be your entire year's focus honestly.... Plus your husband will be happy hehe.

Thanks for your feedback but I think you've made quite a few assumptions there! My job is active, I'm naturally slim but I'm no good at running a distance. And hopefully my husband wants me happy & healthy.

Ah I see, well you have that covered then! My mistake.
I'm a cyclist, that's my cardio of choice, only thing I can say about running is be careful because a lot of people develop chronic pains and injuries from it. That's all I know lol

Fresh Bread

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #29 on: February 03, 2021, 07:58:04 PM »
First thing I'd do is focus on getting in shape and that's a nice big goal that can be your entire year's focus honestly.... Plus your husband will be happy hehe.

Thanks for your feedback but I think you've made quite a few assumptions there! My job is active, I'm naturally slim but I'm no good at running a distance. And hopefully my husband wants me happy & healthy.

Ah I see, well you have that covered then! My mistake.
I'm a cyclist, that's my cardio of choice, only thing I can say about running is be careful because a lot of people develop chronic pains and injuries from it. That's all I know lol

That is true, but I doubt I'll get that intense. It's just something that I've never been able to do, I have tried once before but had to stop for an op. "Try to like the ocean" is another one on my list that would be low impact on the joints. I don't like the feeling of water pressure and am a hopeless swimmer but I'm hoping I can learn to like body surfing or something.

Linea_Norway

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #30 on: February 03, 2021, 11:35:02 PM »
First thing I'd do is focus on getting in shape and that's a nice big goal that can be your entire year's focus honestly.... Plus your husband will be happy hehe.

Thanks for your feedback but I think you've made quite a few assumptions there! My job is active, I'm naturally slim but I'm no good at running a distance. And hopefully my husband wants me happy & healthy.

Ah I see, well you have that covered then! My mistake.
I'm a cyclist, that's my cardio of choice, only thing I can say about running is be careful because a lot of people develop chronic pains and injuries from it. That's all I know lol

That is true, but I doubt I'll get that intense. It's just something that I've never been able to do, I have tried once before but had to stop for an op. "Try to like the ocean" is another one on my list that would be low impact on the joints. I don't like the feeling of water pressure and am a hopeless swimmer but I'm hoping I can learn to like body surfing or something.

I like snorkling. In the beginning I was quite afraid of putting my head in the water. But after I tried carefully, I was positively surpriced about what there was to see. Spoiler: a whole new world, given that you snorkel in an interesting place, often with some rocks. We most often use (thick) wetsuits, so you can even do it in winter. DH freedives and hunts fish, while I stick to snorkling.

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #31 on: February 04, 2021, 01:18:56 PM »
I put 80+ ideas in a jar, and it looks like this month I'm learning to crochet! The first idea I pulled out involved too much effort so went back in for another time...

Nice. You could buy a booklet with beginner sweaters including a bunch of the correct size wool and pins. Then it is not difficult to knit your first sweater. Those booklets sometimes have basic knitting instructions in the back. Just make sure it is really for beginners.

Have fun learning to crochet! To me a sweater would be way too hard as a first project. Maybe try a potholder or scarf to get your rows straight and even, then a hat or granny square to learn decreases/increases in a circle. To each their own, though!

Thanks! I was going to go for a dishcloth! I'm left handed but have found a great series for LH beginners on YouTube. It's by an account called Bella Coco I think.

Fun! Knitting/crochet is awesome once you get the muscle memory thing down. Good luck on your dishcloth.

FIRE 20/20

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #32 on: February 09, 2021, 10:42:38 AM »
...
I'm struggling to decide what I should do with all my time. I guess I thought I had some hobbies and plans for retirement but now I have loads of time I can't really be bothered with them and I have been out of the game so long I'm not that good at them anymore eg drawing.
...

I wouldn't write off something you are no longer as good at as you once were, although you might want to try something adjacent to drawing rather than actually drawing.  Until college, my life outside of school revolved around music.  My senior year I played in 3 of the 7 bands in my high school's Battle of the Bands competition.  I was also in marching band, symphonic band, and jazz band.  I recorded 2 albums and one of my bands was starting to get some local notoriety (2nd place in the city's original music competition).  For 20 years after college I picked up my old instrument  maybe 2-3 times.  After FIRE I knew I wanted to get back into playing music, but I knew I would never be able to get back to my original level of proficiency.  So I chose a different instrument, and after a year and a half of playing I think I'm getting to be pretty decent on my new instrument.  I'm able to flex my atrophied musical muscles, but I'm not frustrated by not being able to play songs that were easy for me a quarter of a century ago.  If drawing was something you were good at before, maybe you could try painting, sculpture, ceramics, photography, or something else that would both support the same creative needs that drawing provided but not make you frustrated that you're starting from scratch. 

I haven't read all the replies so someone may have offered these links, but if not:
https://livingafi.com/2015/03/09/building-a-vision-of-life-without-work/
https://www.amazon.com/How-Retire-Happy-Wild-Free/dp/096941949X




soccerluvof4

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #33 on: February 12, 2021, 05:42:10 AM »
6 years in and I would say while I was struggling a bit to get going before the Pandemic it for sure made things worse. For me I have just had to learn to except the fact I am bi-polar when it comes to my energy level. Other than working out every morning I either spend a couple weeks reading financials , doing a little day trading and having the Tv on in the background to then feeling the energy to bust out a project on the house. Main thing is to keep the mind busy! and getting some exercise/trying to eat right. In time you will find your way and accept perhaps somethings that your not use to.

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #34 on: February 22, 2021, 07:39:21 AM »
Following b/c I'm planning to pull the plug this year and this is very much on my mind.

I really like what @zinnie has to say, thank you.

As I'm preparing for all the free time ahead, I keep asking myself "what would I like to master?" The NEED to work forces us to devote all our time to the treadmill, but those of us here have found a way to master that process and get to FI.

I'm not kidding myself about the habits I've built, especially the habit of "achievement." But mastery is different, and can be applied to literally anything: a language, brewing coffee or beer, short story writing, building rockets, whatever! Can be simple or complicated.

But my hunch is that mastering, say, a language will still give me pride and a sense of accomplishment. It's just that "it doesn't matter" in a work sense, and it doesn't have to return anything other than the pleasure of effort and, maybe, a deeper experience when I travel.

Just a thought.

Malcat

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #35 on: February 22, 2021, 07:58:57 AM »
Following b/c I'm planning to pull the plug this year and this is very much on my mind.

I really like what @zinnie has to say, thank you.

As I'm preparing for all the free time ahead, I keep asking myself "what would I like to master?" The NEED to work forces us to devote all our time to the treadmill, but those of us here have found a way to master that process and get to FI.

I'm not kidding myself about the habits I've built, especially the habit of "achievement." But mastery is different, and can be applied to literally anything: a language, brewing coffee or beer, short story writing, building rockets, whatever! Can be simple or complicated.

But my hunch is that mastering, say, a language will still give me pride and a sense of accomplishment. It's just that "it doesn't matter" in a work sense, and it doesn't have to return anything other than the pleasure of effort and, maybe, a deeper experience when I travel.

Just a thought.

Sure...

Whatever floats your boat.

The thing is, you really don't need to "accomplish" anything. It was only once I really embraced that that I started enjoying doing things a lot more.

I don't really feel the need to accomplish anything or master anything. If I do start going down the road of mastery for any subject, then it's because I'm really, really enjoying that subject and mastery is a byproduct of continuing to learn it.

If I get bored, I'll stop learning and may never master it, and that's cool, because I'll be off doing something else I enjoy.

I just trust that I'll never be an idle or dull person, so I don't need to put ANY pressure on myself to ever do anything.

Pookie

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #36 on: February 22, 2021, 05:09:31 PM »
I read something that said to make a list of 300 things you'd like to do in retirement - kind of like the cookie jar idea. I started making the list. May get a cookie jar!
It's a great problem to have!

mspym

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #37 on: February 22, 2021, 06:34:12 PM »
Snorkelling is incredible. And very very calming. The more like a piece of seaweed floating you are, the more fish stop hiding.

Fresh Bread

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #38 on: February 22, 2021, 07:56:09 PM »
I read something that said to make a list of 300 things you'd like to do in retirement - kind of like the cookie jar idea. I started making the list. May get a cookie jar!
It's a great problem to have!

I have 3 jars on the go now for different things and it's changed my life, no joke! I'm not wasting time scrolling on my phone. I mean, I still do it, but nowhere near as much.

Today I planted a rosemary bush that was unhappy in its pot. Needed doing for about 8 months, and today I pulled that task out of the "master to-do list" jar. Now I smell of rosemary & I'm feeling v pleased with myself.

Fresh Bread

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #39 on: February 22, 2021, 07:57:43 PM »
Snorkelling is incredible. And very very calming. The more like a piece of seaweed floating you are, the more fish stop hiding.

If I see a creature in the sea I'm the opposite of calm, but I understand the sentiment! It's like sitting quietly in the garden and watching the birds come and go.

mspym

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Re: When the world is your oyster, how do you choose?
« Reply #40 on: February 22, 2021, 08:29:31 PM »
Snorkelling is incredible. And very very calming. The more like a piece of seaweed floating you are, the more fish stop hiding.

If I see a creature in the sea I'm the opposite of calm, but I understand the sentiment! It's like sitting quietly in the garden and watching the birds come and go.
Yes! That's the feeling. It's super restful for me but I understand it might not be for everyone.