Author Topic: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?  (Read 13605 times)

FIKris

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Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« on: February 11, 2016, 05:01:43 PM »
MMM is  once again proved right: opportunities to make money do keep rolling in after retirement. 

I earned my FI freedom last August.  This year, my SO is planning to retire as well, and we are looking forward to an epic adventure that will take us all around the world for the next couple years.   

A few days ago, I was approached by a former colleague asking if I would be interested in managing a 3-year project.   It is important work that would benefit the planet, and to sweeten the deal, I could work anywhere in the world, so long as I have internet and phone access.   In short, it is extremely tempting.   

If I take the offer, we could still travel, but we wouldn't truly be free:  no escaping out to sea or disappearing into the bush on moments' notice; I would have to keep myself tied to the electronic leash.

If I reject the offer, I potentially give up $100k and the opportunity to do something truly good with my time.

What would you do?

Here's the financial situation for comparison:
--Paid off home
--(US) Living expenses average $26,000/year, everything included
-$510k invested, 80% stocks, 20% bonds (200k in retirement funds, 310k in Betterment), plus
-$100k value rental property with no mortgage netting $5,000/year
-$40,000 cash
-plus we make about $4000/year from side projects





Bearded Man

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2016, 05:33:49 PM »
Can you just quit if you don't like it? Is that 100k for 3 years or 100k a year?

aFrugalFather

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2016, 05:40:26 PM »
Looks like from my back of the napkin calculation your nest egg and living expenses are fairly flexible if you go strictly by the 4% rule.  22K drawdown, 5K rental and 4K side job = 31K vs. 26K spend, is that right?  Still though, the 100K is tempting in that you can still travel.  How old are you guys and if this is permanent FIRE then you can just do the more adventurous off the grid stuff after 3 years, I think that would be my vote.  Also you don't say how much time commitment.  If its 33K a year and not 100K a year, it would seem like that should not take too much time.  a 100K annual pay would probably imply more of a full time commitment probably?   33K working here and there while traveling the world and not dipping to the nest egg sounds great (on paper).

FIKris

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2016, 06:14:20 PM »
Thanks for the perspectives and additional questions - to clarify, it would be about 100k over three years, or 33k a year, and require about 20 hrs/week.  We are fairly young and do plan to work again at some point in the future.

MonkeyJenga

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2016, 06:57:22 PM »
Thanks for the perspectives and additional questions - to clarify, it would be about 100k over three years, or 33k a year, and require about 20 hrs/week.  We are fairly young and do plan to work again at some point in the future.

I would take it, see if it interferes with travel, and quit if necessary.

I only say this because you describe it as a dream job and you can work while traveling. Doing it just for money wouldn't be smart, since it scales to only a 66k FT salary. Can you negotiate a higher rate?

Have fun travelling!

FIKris

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2016, 07:26:09 PM »
Thanks MonkeyJenga.   The work is for a non-profit, so I probably couldn't negotiate much higher.   I agree it might be a good idea to try it and quit if it isn't working out, but I really like the team and I know I would feel incredibly guilty if I did bail out early. 

MonkeyJenga

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2016, 07:59:50 PM »
You don't know until you try!

No need to feel guilty. If you don't sign a contract, you are free to quit. If they want to lock you down for a guaranteed three year contract, they need to throw extra incentives your way.

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2016, 09:45:11 PM »
I'm currently exploring finding something supporting a nonprofit for 20/hr week at minimum wage just cause.  I want my time to MEAN something.  I think you should strongly consider this.  I also think if it turns into bullshit, you should give them the finger and walk.  That is the power of FI.  They treat you right or you walk!  Don't take any crap.

mxt0133

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2016, 09:54:22 PM »
Seriously, I spend more than 20 hours a week surfing the web while i'm pretending to work.  You can bang out 20 hours over two to three days or do 4 hours a night M-F.  I would do it just because it would actually be meaningful to you.

Exflyboy

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2016, 12:09:33 AM »
Yeah I would say financially speaking your just about there based on 4%. most that know me know I like a bit more safety margin over and above what most would feel comfortable with.. As you say you are planning to do some work in the future, so if its meaningful to you.. why not now?

Add to that it looks like we maybe heading into a bear market on Wall st right now.. Thats an excellent time to be buying stocks in addition to your normal rebalancing effort.

So yeah it sounds like a great balance between OMY, meaningful work and a bit of extra financial padding.

asauer

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2016, 07:50:12 AM »
If it has people and a purpose you love, I say go for it. That's a rarity!  Especially since it's extremely flexible in terms of time and location. 

FIKris

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2016, 10:57:10 AM »
Wow, the mustache community has spoken!   

I got more details and it sounds like the work is even cooler than I imagined...but the main risk is definitely that I get sucked into it closer to full-time.   I'll see what I can negotiate, setting firm boundaries, and report back.

RoseRelish

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #12 on: February 12, 2016, 11:26:26 AM »
Good luck!

Just to address your concern about being in the middle of the ocean and "the electronic leash"....you can disappear after the gig is up....and spend the next 3 years slow travelling, maybe enjoying a few more luxuries than planned, and pick your favorite places for the next time around the world.

JoJo

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2016, 02:11:08 PM »
by the "20 hours weeks" would there be opportunities to work a 40 hour week and then off a week on occasion?  That would allow you to get disconnected a little more.

LAGuy

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #14 on: February 12, 2016, 07:40:33 PM »
Personally, I wouldn't do it. 33k a year for 20 hours a week isn't exactly a bang up salary. Moreover, it sounds like it's going to keep you from doing the things you really want to do in FIRE given that you'll be on a leash. If you don't need the money, and if it's going to interfere with your plans I'd just take a pass. And if you do need the money, maybe I'd just reconsider FIRE and do whatever it is you were doing before, that presumably paid better.

pbkmaine

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #15 on: February 12, 2016, 08:05:27 PM »
I would negotiate working on an hourly basis rather than $33k per year. You want to be able to bill for every hour you work.

FIKris

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #16 on: February 12, 2016, 11:20:47 PM »
Thanks LAguy, good to know at least one person here has that perspective.   

Maine - Hourly is a good idea too...especially if I fear that I might get pulled in more than the estimated time....

EndlessJourney

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #17 on: February 12, 2016, 11:35:53 PM »
I vote no on the job too.

At least no to working while traveling.

We've met a lot of Digital Nomads and many have found it difficult to switch between work and vacation mode. It's always on your mind even when you've closed your laptop and if there are meetings or deadlines to work around, it cramps your travel and sightseeing schedule.

Even more difficult is when one half of a traveling couple works. The other person starts to feel like you're not committed to the lifestyle and has to compromise their idea of what the vacation is all about.

I suggest that if this is really a "dream job", commit to it fully. Postpone the travel plans until you can commit to that and your partner fully.

There are digital nomads who do make it work - but out of necessity to pay the bills, not because they have a choice. You just have to know what kind of personality you are - whether you are able to draw boundaries, create that firewall between work and play and to make that switch quickly day to day.

I know myself, I couldn't do that. And if it's truly a "dream job" that kind of bleedthrough into your vacation would be even stronger.

matchewed

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #18 on: February 13, 2016, 11:32:24 AM »

tobitonic

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #19 on: February 13, 2016, 01:19:53 PM »
Personally, I wouldn't do it. 33k a year for 20 hours a week isn't exactly a bang up salary. Moreover, it sounds like it's going to keep you from doing the things you really want to do in FIRE given that you'll be on a leash. If you don't need the money, and if it's going to interfere with your plans I'd just take a pass. And if you do need the money, maybe I'd just reconsider FIRE and do whatever it is you were doing before, that presumably paid better.

This. Also, some of my most taxing jobs have been the part time ones because they represented the one part of the week where my time wasn't mine. It's almost easier to have a full time job because it's the default, rather than the exception, each day.

FunkyChopstick

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #20 on: February 13, 2016, 02:09:49 PM »
  I also think if it turns into bullshit, you should give them the finger and walk.  That is the power of FI.  They treat you right or you walk!  Don't take any crap.
[/quote]

  Preach! A dream job you want to do, on a PT basis, while you and your SO globe trot- not too shabby. I would say go for it and if it gets too hair or the rules start to change then roll out.

FIPurpose

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #21 on: February 13, 2016, 06:08:39 PM »
Personally, I wouldn't do it. 33k a year for 20 hours a week isn't exactly a bang up salary. Moreover, it sounds like it's going to keep you from doing the things you really want to do in FIRE given that you'll be on a leash. If you don't need the money, and if it's going to interfere with your plans I'd just take a pass. And if you do need the money, maybe I'd just reconsider FIRE and do whatever it is you were doing before, that presumably paid better.

This. Also, some of my most taxing jobs have been the part time ones because they represented the one part of the week where my time wasn't mine. It's almost easier to have a full time job because it's the default, rather than the exception, each day.

I think this would be true if the company required you to work 4 hours a day 5 days a week, but if you're allowed to take 2 10's a week? Vacationing can be pretty dull without a little something to work on to help break up the sightseeing.

FIKris

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #22 on: February 13, 2016, 06:30:16 PM »
I would apply the 10-10-10 rule of decision making.
http://lifehacker.com/use-the-10-10-10-rule-to-make-better-decisions-1595173906

I've never heard of that before.  I like it.  Here's how I think it might break down:
10 minutes - no significant change aside from my thoughts being on this project instead of reading a book or watching a movie
10 months - biggest potential impact.  Instead of hiking in Nepal, likely stuck closer to an urban center (albeit potentially a cool one) while SO spends the day diving.  Might be nice to have something to do, since my body doesn't handle diving all too well and he loves it.
10 years - possibly financially a little more secure, but I fully expect we'll both still be in good health and still able to travel...


I do appreciate Endless Journey's comments too though.   Those are the kinds of reservations that keep me up at night...fear of getting sucked back in

Nickels Dimes Quarters

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #23 on: February 13, 2016, 06:44:11 PM »
I would do it if it was my dream, the work was meaningful and I was sold on it, and I had the flexibility to do the work from anywhere and at any time.

NDQ

EndlessJourney

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #24 on: February 13, 2016, 09:12:19 PM »
I do appreciate Endless Journey's comments too though.   Those are the kinds of reservations that keep me up at night...fear of getting sucked back in

Please take it with a grain of salt though.

I know I'm hedonistic and single-minded to a fault. And I don't multi-task very well.

If you are able to partition and do many things well at the same time, this might be the best of all worlds for you.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

dess1313

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #25 on: February 17, 2016, 10:25:43 PM »

A few days ago, I was approached by a former colleague asking if I would be interested in managing a 3-year project.   It is important work that would benefit the planet, and to sweeten the deal, I could work anywhere in the world, so long as I have internet and phone access.   In short, it is extremely tempting.   

If I take the offer, we could still travel, but we wouldn't truly be free:  no escaping out to sea or disappearing into the bush on moments' notice; I would have to keep myself tied to the electronic leash.

If I reject the offer, I potentially give up $100k and the opportunity to do something truly good with my time.


Travel opportunities can change.  are you both healthy enough that a few years may not change things?  as someone who works in the medical field, i see a lot of people who end up with surprise medical issues that sink many future plans.  i see a lot of people with drastic life changes due to illness.  no one is immune from everything.

Would the work load suggest its x hours a week but what if it ramps up and ends up being twice as much?  you're now working for half the wage.  hourly wages like others have mentioned might be much better.  would there be high or low points to the job cycle you would have to work around?

There are very few places in the world now that you can't get some sort of cell reception from in semi major city.    there are also satellite plans for phones, are there satellite plans for data as well? write it off as a work expense and build it into your contract as a necessary thing for you if they want you that bad. 

would you be able to work a week on, a week off?  would still allow travel into remote areas for short stretches.

would you have to respond to calls on days off?  thats a big downer right there. 

this could be a fun way of funding your travel for the next 3 years but if its preventing the type of remote travel you want to do, it becomes a ball and chain dragging you down.

sol

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #26 on: February 17, 2016, 10:35:08 PM »
I would always take a dream job, regardless of income.  And in this case, the money isn't important to you anyway so I'm not sure what's keeping you from taking it. 

Turning it down is an irreversible decision.  Taking it is not.  You wouldn't be "losing your FI freedom" at all, because taking the job might modify or postpone some of your travel plans, but it won't ruin them.  I'm not sure what you're giving up by agreeing to do the one thing in life you most want to do (which is what I'm assuming the dream job is).  If the job is less dreamy than that, then it might be easier to pass.

Most people fantasize about having the opportunity you have.  Meaningful and fulfilling work, done from a beach in Bora Bora, for money you don't even need.  I think you'd be crazy to say no.

theREALpanchovilla

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #27 on: February 18, 2016, 01:22:29 AM »
I would always take a dream job, regardless of income.  And in this case, the money isn't important to you anyway so I'm not sure what's keeping you from taking it. 

Turning it down is an irreversible decision.  Taking it is not.  You wouldn't be "losing your FI freedom" at all, because taking the job might modify or postpone some of your travel plans, but it won't ruin them.  I'm not sure what you're giving up by agreeing to do the one thing in life you most want to do (which is what I'm assuming the dream job is).  If the job is less dreamy than that, then it might be easier to pass.

Most people fantasize about having the opportunity you have.  Meaningful and fulfilling work, done from a beach in Bora Bora, for money you don't even need.  I think you'd be crazy to say no.

I agree with Sol. That fact that you are considering not taking it makes me wonder if it's really a dream job? Maybe your reluctance to commit has roots in being unsure about your exact contribution to the project. Can you talk with the person who was in that position previously? If it's a new position you could ask the team leader to provide you with a detailed job description, one that not only says *what* you are meant to be doing (like "coordinating communications between Dept X and NGOs PQR&S") but also *how* they envision you helping (like "attends teleconferences twice a week between Agency Z and Dept X). If they cannot provide you with that level of detail, they probably haven't thought about it well enough and that should be a warning sign!

Either way, the fact that they offered you the job is quite flattering, but don't feel bad about turning it down if it's not the right fit for you at this time.

Dan_Breakfree

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #28 on: February 19, 2016, 08:36:42 AM »
My wife and I traveled the world for 10 months in 2013 - we weren't FIRE, but she quit and I took a leave. She's in TV/production so we considered trying to sell a package to a hotel chain and try to have a living blog/advertising in exchange for room/board. In the end, we didn't pursue it and instead traveled. If you still have a job, you're going to be limited in what you can do, where you can go and when you can go. We wanted ultimate freedom, and we had it. I wouldn't take the job... jobs will always be around, but your chance to travel truly untethered may not be.

Dicey

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #29 on: February 28, 2016, 05:04:24 PM »
I keep thinking about your question. It always comes back to the money. At the end of your life, will you regret giving up three years of freedom for a mere 100k, before taxes? I can't answer for you, but my answer would be hell, no!

YBFree

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #30 on: March 28, 2016, 11:55:32 PM »
Wow.  I'm wrestling with a similar offer, so this really hit home.  I think if it is a dream job and you can still travel, it is worth strong consideration.  You have no need to work, but as someone who has been FIRE for about a year, I've found myself wanting to find ways to contribute meaningfully.  For me, I've been volunteering two days per week.  It sounds like you have an opportunity to do something meaningful, get PAID, and still do most of what you want to do...sounds pretty good to me.

Ultimately though, it is your choice. If it doesn't FEEL right, don't do it.  You don't have to do anything that doesn't feel 100% right to you.

FIKris

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #31 on: May 18, 2016, 03:02:16 PM »
Lesson learned.  Thought I'd share for you all since it has been one of the most important and difficult experiences of this journey so far.

I accepted the job - turns out it paid very well.  They were awesome about being flexible about my work location.  I really, truly thought that I could have my cake and eat it too:  fulfill my travel plans, do awesome work, and be happy doing both.   

The actual experience turned out to be like trying to accept two awesome date invitations on the same night:  you really have to choose one or the other.  Do both and everyone winds up unhappy. 

Within 3 weeks, I found myself getting up at 6 am to join distant conference calls, cancelling plans with family, and laying awake at night thinking about the work.   Instead of researching travel locations and picking the place I wanted to go --with the best beaches, hiking, etc. -- I was instead shifting toward locations that were within a reasonable drive to the airport and with the strongest internet connection.  My time was no longer my own.   My plans were no longer my own.  I was back to work.

It all clicked the night before I signed the final offer.  I realized that it just wasn't possible to do a great job AND have a great free travel experience at the same time.  It was really, really hard...but I said no. 

I was instantly flooded with a sense of profound relief.   

If you find yourself in the same situation, perhaps you will choose differently.  But I hope this is helpful to others.  A dream job is still a job. 



Cheers.

Retire-Canada

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #32 on: May 18, 2016, 03:58:12 PM »
Thanks for the update.

Enjoy your travel adventures.

Dicey

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #33 on: May 18, 2016, 10:00:29 PM »
Now, be sure to come back and share your travel plans!

Jon_Snow

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #34 on: May 19, 2016, 07:22:03 AM »
A dream job is still a job. 

Pretty much. :)

Just for the heck of it I've been poking around to see what jobs were out there that would be a fit for my skill set...yet not likely to come with the stresses of my pre-FIRE career...or the high pay. I did find a bunch of things that I could even see myself enjoying to an extent. To be fair though...none of the had the look of "dream jobs".

The truth of the matter is that there is NO JOB out there for me that could even remotely bring the happiness and fulfillment that my current FIRE'd life brings. It's something I've known for quite a while now...and perusing employment opportunities slammed it home to me again.

Bolshevik Artizan

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #35 on: May 25, 2016, 08:35:25 PM »
I'm currently exploring finding something supporting a nonprofit for 20/hr week at minimum wage just cause.  I want my time to MEAN something.  I think you should strongly consider this.  I also think if it turns into bullshit, you should give them the finger and walk.  That is the power of FI.  They treat you right or you walk!  Don't take any crap.

agree 100%

gerardc

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #36 on: December 03, 2017, 10:56:51 PM »
Lesson learned.  Thought I'd share for you all since it has been one of the most important and difficult experiences of this journey so far.

I accepted the job - turns out it paid very well.  They were awesome about being flexible about my work location.  I really, truly thought that I could have my cake and eat it too:  fulfill my travel plans, do awesome work, and be happy doing both.   

The actual experience turned out to be like trying to accept two awesome date invitations on the same night:  you really have to choose one or the other.  Do both and everyone winds up unhappy. 

Within 3 weeks, I found myself getting up at 6 am to join distant conference calls, cancelling plans with family, and laying awake at night thinking about the work.   Instead of researching travel locations and picking the place I wanted to go --with the best beaches, hiking, etc. -- I was instead shifting toward locations that were within a reasonable drive to the airport and with the strongest internet connection.  My time was no longer my own.   My plans were no longer my own.  I was back to work.

It all clicked the night before I signed the final offer.  I realized that it just wasn't possible to do a great job AND have a great free travel experience at the same time.  It was really, really hard...but I said no. 

I was instantly flooded with a sense of profound relief.   

If you find yourself in the same situation, perhaps you will choose differently.  But I hope this is helpful to others.  A dream job is still a job.

Great thread, I like how that turned out. I always say FT work is a hindrance, hence the need to FIRE. Friends and family say "you have after work hours and week-ends to do whatever you like!", but it's not the same. You're still tied to a post 8 hours a day. That makes a big difference, psychologically. This is the reason I've thought a lot about semi-RE, PT work, etc. but it never really seemed worth it. Note that would be for a typical computer job, IT, management, etc. even remote; but if the dream job was kayak instructor, it would probably be different. What I'm craving is a change of environment from toxic typical corporate work, not necessary less work itself.

FIKristen, can you give an update on how your thoughts have evolved since then? I know it's been a while...

Linea_Norway

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #37 on: December 05, 2017, 04:25:49 AM »
Lesson learned.  Thought I'd share for you all since it has been one of the most important and difficult experiences of this journey so far.

I accepted the job - turns out it paid very well.  They were awesome about being flexible about my work location.  I really, truly thought that I could have my cake and eat it too:  fulfill my travel plans, do awesome work, and be happy doing both.   

The actual experience turned out to be like trying to accept two awesome date invitations on the same night:  you really have to choose one or the other.  Do both and everyone winds up unhappy. 

Within 3 weeks, I found myself getting up at 6 am to join distant conference calls, cancelling plans with family, and laying awake at night thinking about the work.   Instead of researching travel locations and picking the place I wanted to go --with the best beaches, hiking, etc. -- I was instead shifting toward locations that were within a reasonable drive to the airport and with the strongest internet connection.  My time was no longer my own.   My plans were no longer my own.  I was back to work.

It all clicked the night before I signed the final offer.  I realized that it just wasn't possible to do a great job AND have a great free travel experience at the same time.  It was really, really hard...but I said no. 

I was instantly flooded with a sense of profound relief.   

If you find yourself in the same situation, perhaps you will choose differently.  But I hope this is helpful to others.  A dream job is still a job. 

Cheers.

Thanks for the update. This sounds like a very good decision. If you are a person who feels responsible for a job 24 hours a day, not being at work creates stress, as well as being on the job itself.
I also thought it sounded awful that you need to limit your travels to being available by phone all the time. In my eyes a 20 hour job should require availability 20 hours a week and not everyday. You should in theory have been able online for work 2 and a half day a week and travel into the jungle on the other days. But maybe employers expect more.

FIKris

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #38 on: July 25, 2018, 10:38:46 PM »
Post Post, ~2 years later.

We left, went on the trip & saw some very cool places we'd wanted to see for a very long time.  Met new people, improved our Spanish speaking abilities, relaxed on the ocean, hiked in the mountains, saw the Southern cross, listened to music, experienced some hard times, and some mind blowingly amazingly good times.   Became closer as a couple.  Became wiser as individuals.   Going on the trip was 100% the right call.

When I left, I "knew" it meant burning the bridge; I had assumed that if I declined the job offer, they'd hate me or something.   But they were surprisingly understanding.   And lo and behold, when I'd been back State side for a while, another opportunity to work with them came my way.   This time I was ready, and able to focus on the task without a nagging feeling that I was doing so at the expense of my dreams.

Over the time away the portfolio continued to grow, offsetting our travel expenses; frankly it grew faster than we had expected.   FI fears melted away.  Success.

And good luck to you all on your own paths.

csr

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Re: Take dream job or keep FI freedom?
« Reply #39 on: July 27, 2018, 08:48:44 PM »
Post Post, ~2 years later.

We left, went on the trip & saw some very cool places we'd wanted to see for a very long time.  Met new people, improved our Spanish speaking abilities, relaxed on the ocean, hiked in the mountains, saw the Southern cross, listened to music, experienced some hard times, and some mind blowingly amazingly good times.   Became closer as a couple.  Became wiser as individuals.   Going on the trip was 100% the right call.

When I left, I "knew" it meant burning the bridge; I had assumed that if I declined the job offer, they'd hate me or something.   But they were surprisingly understanding.   And lo and behold, when I'd been back State side for a while, another opportunity to work with them came my way.   This time I was ready, and able to focus on the task without a nagging feeling that I was doing so at the expense of my dreams.

Over the time away the portfolio continued to grow, offsetting our travel expenses; frankly it grew faster than we had expected.   FI fears melted away.  Success.

And good luck to you all on your own paths.

So glad to hear.. thanks for the update!