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General Discussion => Post-FIRE => Topic started by: Omy on November 12, 2018, 11:15:05 AM

Title: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on November 12, 2018, 11:15:05 AM
I've read every MMM article and have lurked at this forum for over a year. I've been mustachian since I was a toddler (I preferred money to candy at age 3 according to my dad.)

DH and I have a mortgage-free rental property that brings in $1850/mo, a mortgage-free principle residence, and another $2.5M in stocks, bonds, CDs and cash. (Update: bought a 2nd rental in May 2019 that brings in $2250/month). We live on $50-60k a year in a HCOL area, but make over $300k. I'm 56, he's 51. I like my job (realtor), he is tired of his (engineering manager). His job pays more and has great benefits. I'm an independent contractor (no benefits.)

When I look at it objectively, I know we are FI. We've been FI for years. But pulling the trigger to RE causes me a lot of anxiety. Especially about health insurance premium costs and no clue where that mess is heading.

I came to you Post Fire experts to ask for advice on how to gain the confidence needed to pull the trigger. I know the math gives us next to zero chance of failure, but anxiety is winning over math.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: ysette9 on November 12, 2018, 12:37:31 PM
I recommend reading Dr Doom’s The Quit Series on his blog LivingaFI.com. He does an amazing job of unpacking his of reluctance to pull the trigger on RE once reaching FI.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on November 12, 2018, 12:42:37 PM
I can...fully relate.   I don't have have the asset levels that you do, but I decided to extend my date from 6/30/2018 to March of 2019. 

I've posted some on my site linked below, but it's also good to poke around the 2018 and 2019 retirement threads that are in the general discussion.

My motivations were more the obscene financial impact of working the additional nine months.  It does take confidence to exit.

Would you keep your realtor's license and keep the residual flow of your clients buying/selling houses?  I've seen "retired" folks find a junior real estate agent and let them do all the work while taking part of the commission.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: deborah on November 12, 2018, 01:41:19 PM
It seems to me that maybe you donít want to pull the trigger, but your husband does. Are you comfortable enough with the math for you to stay working, and for him to retire?

Having only one retired does bring its own issues. The retired person can feel confined to their home location and not as free to do other things as they might like. The working person may feel resentful that the retired person doesnít do all the housework (even though that may not be in the plan)...
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Metta on November 12, 2018, 01:43:41 PM
You don't have to retire. My husband is a professor and at this point he doesn't want to leave his job. Not because of the money but because he loves what he does. Before I left my job he asked me to consider leaving to something (rather than just leaving). I spent about two years figuring out what I wanted to do after I left. This was time well-spent because once I left I had a goal to fall into (after six months of recovery from excessive work).

What I don't hear you saying is what you want your life to be like. You say that you've preferred money over other things your entire life. Do you still? Is there something you prefer now? If not, why not stay at  your job and continue to make money?

As to health insurance, that's pretty simple. Factor in an additional $12000 a year into your expenses.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: terran on November 12, 2018, 02:16:25 PM
You might find forum member @CCCA's calculator (introductory post here: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/rich-broke-or-dead-visualizing-probabilities-of-outcomes-in-early-retirement/) "fun" to play with to gain a little perspective. You're more likely to die next year than to ever run out money. Seems like that's a good reason to never do anything that isn't what you most want to be doing ever again.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: AccidentalMiser on November 12, 2018, 03:01:27 PM
Tell you what, I'll trade lives with you and retire tomorrow.  You can keep working as long as you want!!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on November 12, 2018, 03:05:33 PM

I recommend reading Dr Doomís The Quit Series on his blog LivingaFI.com. He does an amazing job of unpacking his of reluctance to pull the trigger on RE once reaching FI.

Thank you...reading now...looks great so far.


Would you keep your realtor's license and keep the residual flow of your clients buying/selling houses?  I've seen "retired" folks find a junior real estate agent and let them do all the work while taking part of the commission.

Probably. I've hit the sweet spot in my career where most of my business is from referrals, so it seems a shame to stop now. A good junior agent has approached me, and this makes sense as an exit strategy. The tricky part is that income will probably throw us out of the ACA subsidy range, so we'll need to do the math to see if it's worth it.


What I don't hear you saying is what you want your life to be like. You say that you've preferred money over other things your entire life. Do you still? Is there something you prefer now? If not, why not stay at  your job and continue to make money?


I have always equated money with security. I would rather have money in the bank than things. That being said, relationships are more important to me than money. I was a programmer before I became a realtor and made more as a programmer than I do as a realtor, but I much prefer the people aspects of my current job. You are absolutely correct that I am floundering when I try to imagine what my life will look like in retirement.

It seems to me that maybe you donít want to pull the trigger, but your husband does. Are you comfortable enough with the math for you to stay working, and for him to retire?

Having only one retired does bring its own issues. The retired person can feel confined to their home location and not as free to do other things as they might like. The working person may feel resentful that the retired person doesnít do all the housework (even though that may not be in the plan)...

I'm a bit concerned about the resentment factor, but I could quit if that were the case. If I keep working, I will need to partner up with another realtor to free up time to spend traveling with DH since I currently work a lot of weekends and evenings. My gut says it will be more fun to retire together, but we need to do some homework to figure out what retirement will look like. I don't think it's healthy to spend all our time together - I don't want to ruin a perfectly good marriage.

You might find forum member @CCCA's calculator (introductory post here: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/rich-broke-or-dead-visualizing-probabilities-of-outcomes-in-early-retirement/) "fun" to play with to gain a little perspective. You're more likely to die next year than to ever run out money. Seems like that's a good reason to never do anything that isn't what you most want to be doing ever again.

What an awesome calculator! When you look at it that way, it definitely puts things into perspective.

Tell you what, I'll trade lives with you and retire tomorrow.  You can keep working as long as you want!!

Ha! I guess I should stop my whining!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on November 12, 2018, 03:31:38 PM

I'm glad you've already looked at the potential exit strategy and I think that's exactly what you should do.  If you are self employed as a realtor (and put your spouse on as a "marketing consultant" to qualify as a two person group), you can probably get into an insurance pool that's better than the ACA.  A couple of our local chambers of commerce and many business associations sponsor insurance pools for 2-50 person employees.  The groups are usually healthier than the ACA group and you can get insurance for less.  Having the ability to part-time a business you've put all this sweat equity into is a great thing!

You could also consider taking your commission in the form of a note receivable from the other agent, have them pay you out the referral fees over a number of years.  You'd have to trust the other agent so that might be a deal breaker.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on November 13, 2018, 08:29:51 PM
I need to figure out what retirement will look like for me before I pull the trigger. As for DH, I'm suggesting he shoot for July 1, 2019 so we can start planning. It will never happen if we don't set a date. This way he can lock in his bonus and vest some more shares and 18 months of COBRA will put us at Jan 2021. Hopefully there will be some sort of reasonable health insurance options at that point.
Putting it out here (and on my calendar) will help to make it real.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Financial.Velociraptor on November 13, 2018, 11:07:30 PM
You are FI.  RE is VOLUNTARY.

You want to keep working?  Fuck what the community thinks.   But keep working strategically after you have FU money. DH is supervisor and less than elated to be at work?  Negotiate 8-12 weeks vacation. What they going to do for his asking, fire him?!?  Take a job with a drone startup or in the New Space movement as a regular engineer, salary be damned.  Make work fun again.  And fuck anyone who stands in the way. You like being a realtor?  Do it exactly the number of hours of a week you want to.  And fuck management if they want more out of you.   There will be an agency that takes you at the preferred level of commitment. 

Work for fucking forever if need be.  But do it on your own damn terms.  MMM and its adherents don't get to tell you how to live your own fucking life. What winds your spring?!?  Do THAT.  You are free to do so!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on November 14, 2018, 05:53:01 AM
Well THAT reply made me smile...I feel like I got a bit of a face punch!

I know my job is easily scalable. I just need to learn how to put better boundaries on it. Partnering with another realtor is a common approach to deal with that challenge. I could choose to work another 30 years if mind and body stay fit enough.

My biggest concern about DH leaving his job has always been health care. While both of us are fairly healthy now, my family has history with million dollar illnesses and the butchering of the ACA has made me nervous about dumping perfectly good company-subsidized health insurance. A silver plan without subsidies is $1700/mo on the exchange (much less if we manage MAGI which is easy if I quit). Every year there seems to be a 20+% increase in premiums which is not sustainable.

I know I'm not supposed to worry about things I can't control, but that is my biggest emotional obstacle to RE.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: dougules on November 14, 2018, 03:56:31 PM
The rent can more or less pay for your premium.  Then a $1M illness would take you down to $1.5M which would still be $60k/year to live on.  That's also ignoring the fact you're not really that far away from social security and medicaid age (I'm assuming you're in the US). 

But yeah, this is all about psychology not math.  One big question mark are the reasons you do and don't want to quit.  I guess you could probably even sit down and make two big columns and list all the reason in each

I WANT TO QUIT BECAUSE       |      I WANT TO KEEP WORKING BECAUSE


If you work nights and weekends, then him quitting would be good.  Is there really much difference between lunch on Wednesday and supper on Friday for folks who don't have a 9-5?

How does he feel about all this?  Is he hesitant, or is he completely ready to pull the trigger?


Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on November 14, 2018, 05:19:02 PM
He's been ready for years. My "what ifs" have delayed us. He's been accommodating and thought that "stockpiling" more reserves would alleviate my anxiety. At this point my contingency plans have contingency plans. It's time for him to quit.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on November 14, 2018, 06:35:16 PM
Speaking of health care, one of the really informed bloggers just posted this:

https://ournextlife.com/2018/11/14/health-care-2019/

I don't agree with her politics, but she was formerly a political consultant on healthcare and a patient with a chronic disorder.

Premiums have finally stabilized for the ACA and we should be okay for three years
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on November 15, 2018, 05:57:42 AM
That's a really good article on the subject. I intuitively felt the same thing on Nov 6 (that gridlock might protect the ACA for 2 years), but I hadn't thought about it being 3 years - which gets me that much closer to Medicare age. Comforting to see an expert articulate it that way.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Metta on November 15, 2018, 07:28:16 AM
He's been ready for years. My "what ifs" have delayed us. He's been accommodating and thought that "stockpiling" more reserves would alleviate my anxiety. At this point my contingency plans have contingency plans. It's time for him to quit.

Iím glad youíve come to that realization. I desperately wanted to leave my job and it was my husband who wanted to stay with his. He persuaded me to leave, saying that he would follow me into retirement soon after. This hasnít occurred because he truly loves what he does. Iíd feared that he would resent me if I was no longer going to a job and he still had to, but that isnít what happened. Instead we are both so much happier. I hadnít realized how much stress my stressful job was putting on him. But of course he needed to deal with me with my emotions when I came home each night.

We are living in a time of full employment. If your husband leaves his job and it doesnít work out for you, he can call this a trial run and find another job, perhaps a less stressful one.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: soccerluvof4 on November 15, 2018, 07:31:05 AM
I retired going on 4 years ago along with my wife. I was the bread winner and she actually ended up working for me after we had our kids and just wanted to get out of the house. I was done. After two years of retirement during the last election we too were worried about the cost of Healthcare and with 4 kids wanted to to have something more than ACA. She came up with the idea to go back to work with the idea she will find something that totally is all about the benefits and works around her schedule. She loves it and actually works for a company that does benefits for companies. I had to adjust from being the controller of my own life, 50 employees etc.. and l took over al the cooking , chasing kids etc.. And we had about the same maybe a tad more but also 4 kids. Do your real estate just enough to cover the cost of Health Care since you enjoy it and let him retire.  We were 50 and 46.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: dougules on November 16, 2018, 12:27:06 PM
This thread sounds like two intertwined but separate things, really.  Should you quit, and should your husband quit? 

It seems like your husband quitting is a foregone conclusion.

On the first one it sounds a bit more complicated.  I guess it really is a question of whether you want to keep working out of fear of jumping out into the abyss or because that's what makes you happy independent of the money.  That may or may not be something easy to answer. 
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: miracho on November 16, 2018, 01:40:22 PM
I have a little bit of this, too. The discomfort is with being in a draw-down situation with assets rather than building net worth, it goes against all of our training. Seems like you've set yourself a goal of RE so you want to, but now you're questioning it. The question you have to ask yourself is, will the benefits/dream of retiring early actually outweigh the anxiety about future health care? Is this about the $, or, in one more year will you say "one more year?" As someone pointed out, you don't have to retire! You can just ramp back and go after less new clients!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on November 16, 2018, 03:12:18 PM
You all have such great insights...this forum is a mustachian form of therapy!

I have officially given my blessing to DH to leave his job July 1 (his preferred date) barring any unforeseen, catastrophic circumstance. I know that last part makes it sound like I could pull a fast one and change my mind, but I think I've made peace with him leaving when he's ready. This thread has helped me realize that my anxiety about pulling the trigger shouldn't be strangling him.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: dougules on November 16, 2018, 03:48:59 PM
You all have such great insights...this forum is a mustachian form of therapy!

I have officially given my blessing to DH to leave his job July 1 (his preferred date) barring any unforeseen, catastrophic circumstance. I know that last part makes it sound like I could pull a fast one and change my mind, but I think I've made peace with him leaving when he's ready. This thread has helped me realize that my anxiety about pulling the trigger shouldn't be strangling him.

Great to hear it worked out.

I'm curious if you're willing to divulge what your plans for yourself are. 
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on November 16, 2018, 07:45:53 PM
Plan A is to work through 2019 and see how I feel at that time. I will partner with another agent (when DH retires) to free up time so I can ease into retirement. Plan B is to jump at the same time that DH does if there's a lull in my business. Plan B will allow me to make money off referrals for awhile.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: soccerluvof4 on November 17, 2018, 03:33:06 AM
Plan A is to work through 2019 and see how I feel at that time. I will partner with another agent (when DH retires) to free up time so I can ease into retirement. Plan B is to jump at the same time that DH does if there's a lull in my business. Plan B will allow me to make money off referrals for awhile.



Sounds like a good plan!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: RecoveringCarClown on November 26, 2018, 10:32:05 PM
You all have such great insights...this forum is a mustachian form of therapy!

I have officially given my blessing to DH to leave his job July 1 (his preferred date) barring any unforeseen, catastrophic circumstance. I know that last part makes it sound like I could pull a fast one and change my mind, but I think I've made peace with him leaving when he's ready. This thread has helped me realize that my anxiety about pulling the trigger shouldn't be strangling him.

He has been ready for years. Why does he need your blessing?  He has sentenced himself to 7 more months of prison while combined you have oversaved by at least a cool mil?

Recently I have had several friends suddenly die in their 30ís and 40ís, please push him be free now and cherish the short time on this earth together.  There are less tomorrowís than most can ever imagine.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on November 26, 2018, 11:35:02 PM
Probably a semantic issue here. I finally realized it was unfair that my fears were effectively controlling his end date (and told him this a couple of weeks ago). I let him know that I was ok with him leaving whenever he was ready. He came up with the July 1 date to get additional bonus/vesting. Since then, he's moved it up to June 1 (so at least we are moving in the right direction). You are right...life is too short.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: soccerluvof4 on November 27, 2018, 03:22:11 AM
Probably a semantic issue here. I finally realized it was unfair that my fears were effectively controlling his end date (and told him this a couple of weeks ago). I let him know that I was ok with him leaving whenever he was ready. He came up with the July 1 date to get additional bonus/vesting. Since then, he's moved it up to June 1 (so at least we are moving in the right direction). You are right...life is too short.


Awesome!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Dicey on December 26, 2018, 09:07:09 PM
Posting to see how this works out. Six years post-FIRE here, DH loves his job and still works.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Cassie on December 26, 2018, 09:46:40 PM
Yes definitely leave it up to your husband about the leave date. We lost 3 friends between the ages of 59-67.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: TomTX on December 27, 2018, 10:29:53 AM
Engineer friend of mine died last week, leaving a wife and baby behind. Not even 40 years old yet.

You and your husband have basically no chance of running out of money if you follow the basic MMM guidelines.  At this point, it's just how much of your life do you want to force your husband to keep working?

I find the "Rich Broke Dead" visualizer to be useful. I put in a rough approximation of your numbers. The red area (none) is "broke" and the grey area is "dead".

http://engaging-data.com/will-money-last-retire-early/?utm_source=mmm
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on December 27, 2018, 12:24:21 PM
I love the Rich Broke Dead visualizer. I was directed to it recently and it was a good "smack in the head" showing me that we're fine and my concerns about future health care costs are irrelevant if we're dead. I'm completely on board with DH quitting when he's ready - and I will quit when I'm ready.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: dividendman on December 27, 2018, 05:07:47 PM
You can always try it and then go back to work if you feel like it.

I was originally in the 2018 cohort, decided to pull the date up to 2017, took a year off (instead of FIRE) and now am working again just because I had a good opportunity i wanted to try... didn't need the money.

When I get bored of it I can always quit again!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: MrThatsDifferent on December 27, 2018, 06:44:56 PM
I strongly suggest reading the simplest, easiest book in the world ďWho Moved My Cheese?Ē  It has one of the most powerful questions Iíve ever seen posed: what would you do if you werenít afraid?  Your fear is ho,ding you back from enjoying a life with your husband that is worth more than money. You have enough. You have more than enough by every measure. Hell, your rental income alone covers almost half your expenses. You only get one life. Thatís it! One. And no one on their death bed says, I wish I would have worked longer for that bonus.

Here is an exercise: imagine you have 15 million. Your health insurance is covered. Expenses covered. Now, you have nothing to be afraid of, what will you do with your life and your husband? Put your energy into that, not how to get more money, but what youíll do when you have enough.

Then, after you answer that, gently slap yourself and repeat this in the mirror: Holy shit, I have enough!

Now live that life and donít look back.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: frugal_c on December 30, 2018, 11:00:16 AM
I think MrThatsDifferent and others really nail it.  I am just speculating but I don't know OMY has much to do with money in your case.  Is it perhaps that you worry what you will do, sense of purpose you will have without the career?  Maybe you just need to gradually ease into it, don't quit but just start reducing your work (easier said than done in such a competitive field) and perhaps your SO can just quit outright.  Start spending more time/effort on exploring life, finding new hobbies, meeting new people.  Good luck!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on December 30, 2018, 07:00:54 PM
I agree. I love the suggestion to re-read "Who Moved My Cheese?". I saw a headline today that indicated 55 year old retirees live until 80, but 65 year old retirees live until 67 (or something like that). Ouch. Better get my priorities straight quickly.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on February 04, 2019, 08:30:53 AM
Quick update - plus I wanted to save a link that was helpful from the "Stop Worrying about the 4% rule" thread:

https://www.kitces.com/blog/consumption-gap-in-retirement-why-most-retirees-will-never-spend-down-their-portfolio/

I re-read "Who Moved My Cheese?" and have been digesting a lot of other info on this forum and others. At the moment, I'm still feeling good about DH leaving in June (and even sooner if he decides). He is intent on waiting for his April work incentive, but might skip the June incentive. I'm happily busy at work so I will work through at least June unless something changes.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Blindsquirrel on February 14, 2019, 06:07:32 PM
   I feel your pain OMY. Have struggled with that though FI by any reasonable calculation. Have not gown the nuts to just quit as my wife and I have yet to get on the same page as this. She loves to shop. It really does not matter as she makes an above average salary as do I in a LCOL area. We owe nothing on anything.  My job has been pretty good since I quit in my head and my knucklehead boss chilled TF out. The elephant in the room is if my wife works 3 more years she gets dirt cheap HC and we will be she will be 55 and she has been detesting her boss but not her job lately. I am leaning toward doing the RE thing shortly and will work on her doing the same.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on March 14, 2019, 07:44:36 AM
So DH just received his bonus (largest to date - it was almost half his salary). He has a ton of stock options vesting in May (probably equivalent to 75-80% of his salary.) Then he plans to sail off into the figurative sunset.

I had been thinking that this extra plumping up of the stash would help me feel more secure about RE...and it really does. But there is also a part of me that thinks why on earth would we "sail" when we are both at a place in our careers where we are being handed money to do jobs we can just about do in our sleep? And while our stash is growing in leaps and bounds?

When is enough, enough?!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Linea_Norway on March 14, 2019, 07:55:35 AM
So DH just received his bonus (largest to date - it was almost half his salary). He has a ton of stock options vesting in May (probably equivalent to 75-80% of his salary.) Then he plans to sail off into the figurative sunset.

I had been thinking that this extra plumping up of the stash would help me feel more secure about RE...and it really does. But there is also a part of me that thinks why on earth would we "sail" when we are both at a place in our careers where we are being handed money to do jobs we can just about do in our sleep? And while our stash is growing in leaps and bounds?

When is enough, enough?!

Why don't you both start working part time? Then you might have the best of 2 worlds, having more time for yourself and still not closing the hose completely.

Enough is yearly spending level (on average over the years) x 25. Or x less, if you can draw on a later pension.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: BlueSky45 on March 14, 2019, 08:54:21 AM
But there is also a part of me that thinks why on earth would we "sail" when we are both at a place in our careers where we are being handed money to do jobs we can just about do in our sleep? And while our stash is growing in leaps and bounds?

When is enough, enough?!

What is enough is the ultimate question.  Until you know what you want your life to look like/what your goals are for the rest of your life, you will never have "enough".  If leaving 5 Million dollars to the charity of your choice at your death is important to you, then you may not have enough.  If you want to spend time with friends and family and volunteer or work part time, then you have enough.  I don't think you're struggling with the money, I think you're struggling with how you want to spend your time.

I think about my "enough" a fair amount and it's helpful to think about the time you have left on this earth.  If I spend the next 20 years chasing money, then I won't have enough time left to live the life I'm excited to live.  I chose to leave my career at my peak earning time, because I value freedom, peace, relationships, etc. more than having more money.  The great thing is that the choice is up to you, and the really difficult thing is that the choice is up to you :)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on March 14, 2019, 10:52:00 AM

I think about my "enough" a fair amount and it's helpful to think about the time you have left on this earth.  If I spend the next 20 years chasing money, then I won't have enough time left to live the life I'm excited to live.  I chose to leave my career at my peak earning time, because I value freedom, peace, relationships, etc. more than having more money.  The great thing is that the choice is up to you, and the really difficult thing is that the choice is up to you :)

Exactly! And if leaving turns out to be the "wrong" choice, it's much harder to turn the hose back on after a few years at our age. In my 30s, I didn't think twice about leaving the workforce with a stash of $800k. When I divorced (divide by 2) and the stock market tanked, I had $300k and wasn't a bit concerned about jumping into a new career in my 40s. But in my mid 50s it seems daunting to imagine jumping back into the workforce in my 60s should things not work out. Freakin' golden handcuffs!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: dougules on March 14, 2019, 03:17:33 PM
So DH just received his bonus (largest to date - it was almost half his salary). He has a ton of stock options vesting in May (probably equivalent to 75-80% of his salary.) Then he plans to sail off into the figurative sunset.

I had been thinking that this extra plumping up of the stash would help me feel more secure about RE...and it really does. But there is also a part of me that thinks why on earth would we "sail" when we are both at a place in our careers where we are being handed money to do jobs we can just about do in our sleep? And while our stash is growing in leaps and bounds?

When is enough, enough?!

I'm glad things are going well.

If you had more money would you do with it?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: kei te pai on March 15, 2019, 01:59:26 AM
If you had one more year to LIVE what would you do with it?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: NorthernMonkey on March 15, 2019, 08:03:55 AM
So DH just received his bonus (largest to date - it was almost half his salary). He has a ton of stock options vesting in May (probably equivalent to 75-80% of his salary.) Then he plans to sail off into the figurative sunset.

I had been thinking that this extra plumping up of the stash would help me feel more secure about RE...and it really does. But there is also a part of me that thinks why on earth would we "sail" when we are both at a place in our careers where we are being handed money to do jobs we can just about do in our sleep? And while our stash is growing in leaps and bounds?

When is enough, enough?!

Money is a tool that allows you to do something. Right now, you're using it as a tool to persuade you to not do what you want to do.

You've managed to get yourself into a place which youre just as trapped by money as someone with their credit cards maxed.

More money will not make this better, any more than a card with a higher limit will help the obsessive spender.

You're approach of getting more money will not work, since it won't fix the problem
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on March 15, 2019, 08:14:37 AM
Great questions. More money just means more security and freedom at this point. I don't think our plans improve drastically with one more year of work and the amount that would add to the stash. And if we knew we only had a few years left, we already would have retired. So I guess that means we have enough.

DH said last night that getting all this money is depressing, and I asked why. He said logically it makes sense to work another year even though his heart's not in it. That also tells me it's time to quit.

I think you hit the nail on the head, NorthernMonkey.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: dougules on March 15, 2019, 04:09:55 PM
Great questions. More money just means more security and freedom at this point. I don't think our plans improve drastically with one more year of work and the amount that would add to the stash. And if we knew we only had a few years left, we already would have retired. So I guess that means we have enough.

DH said last night that getting all this money is depressing, and I asked why. He said logically it makes sense to work another year even though his heart's not in it. That also tells me it's time to quit.

I think you hit the nail on the head, NorthernMonkey.

You have a crazy amount of security and freedom.  You could bump up your spending to $100k/year and still be among the more conservative people here in terms of SWR.  If you want to take yacht trips around the Mediterranean or fund several orphanages in Africa then you can keep working a few more years.  If you can't think of anything you might want or need that would put your spending over $100k/year, then every dollar you earn now is just an extra dollar you'll never have a chance to spend.   Logically it doesn't make sense to hoard way more than you need once you've got more than enough. 
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on March 15, 2019, 04:29:02 PM
We both came to that conclusion today in different ways. I realized it after bouncing things off of you smart people. DH ran our numbers through his various spreadsheets and said there was a pretty good chance we'd have at least what we have now after 30 years of retirement. He said he had almost talked himself into working another year yesterday, but his spreadsheets brought him back to reality.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: frugalecon on March 15, 2019, 07:28:22 PM
PTF, since I can easily imagine myself in this situation in just a few years.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: NorthernMonkey on March 16, 2019, 01:41:07 AM
Your also seem to be working on the assumption that if you retire tomorrow, you can never ever get another job if things change.

Why not agree to have a trial run retirement, with a review after 6 months. If your situation has changed, you can both agree to go back to work for 6 months (Pro tip, with 2.5m it won't have changed)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: xbdb on March 16, 2019, 01:05:12 PM
Stop trading time for money. You WILL die one day. If you are in a situation where you've hit your number, trying to hang on for one more year for more money you don't really need is foolish. You WILL REGRET sacrificing a "good" year of life where you were healthy enough to really enjoy it (so you can travel etc.) once you are having health issues later on in life (IF you make it that far). Think about being in hospice and asking yourself if waiting another year was the right decision.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on March 17, 2019, 01:02:11 AM
Thanks. A bit ironic to get face punches for oversaving on this forum, but I will take it!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: TomTX on March 17, 2019, 07:10:45 AM
Thanks. A bit ironic to get face punches for oversaving on this forum, but I will take it!

Why would it be ironic? This isn't Bogleheads.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on March 17, 2019, 08:41:38 AM
I will have to check out Bogleheads. Maybe that's the problem - I'm a Boglehead in the wrong forum!

But seriously - posting has been very helpful to me. When I look back to where I was in November when I started this post (anxious about quitting) to where I am now, I realize I have come a long way because of your constructive comments. I still have some loose ends to tie up (and likely a bit more anxiety to get past) but I hope to be FIREd by this June.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: 2Birds1Stone on March 17, 2019, 09:51:34 AM
Do it! It's about time :)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: MonkeyJenga on March 17, 2019, 10:06:54 AM
Don't go to Bogleheads unless you want to be scared into saving another $2.5 mil before retiring!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on March 17, 2019, 12:08:00 PM
Ha...ok!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: frugalecon on March 17, 2019, 07:18:47 PM
Don't go to Bogleheads unless you want to be scared into saving another $2.5 mil before retiring!

My favorite BH threads are the ones that discuss MMM. The knives really come out!

That said, there are some good threads on that site. I think I am about a 50:50 combination of this forum and that forum.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on March 18, 2019, 07:19:20 AM
So I popped over to Bogleheads for the first time and wandered around the forum a bit (not as nicely organized as this one). I discovered a couple of articles that indicated you can use a SWR of MORE than 4% as a 65 year old couple since there's only a 1% chance that you will BOTH live another 30 years...and only a 16% chance that one of you will live another 30 years. Life expectancy actuarial data (as in the Rich, Broke, Dead calculator) can be strangely comforting.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Linea_Norway on March 18, 2019, 08:10:17 AM
I also had a short look at Bogleheads and searched on articles containing MMM. The few posts I saw were about people saving 3-4 mil $ for retirement and 100K a year FIRE budget. The whole site itself seems to be more about investing in general.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on April 01, 2019, 06:36:52 AM
DH and I were talking about when he should tell his boss that he is retiring. He thinks he can safely tell him this month without risking $150k in options that vest in June, but I'm not so sure. Thoughts?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: MonkeyJenga on April 01, 2019, 07:43:04 AM
Is he required to give more than two weeks notice?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Linea_Norway on April 01, 2019, 09:44:34 AM
DH and I were talking about when he should tell his boss that he is retiring. He thinks he can safely tell him this month without risking $150k in options that vest in June, but I'm not so sure. Thoughts?

If he has 2 weeks notice, I would wait until the money is on his bank account and resign the day after. If he doesn't hold out, use some sickleave.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: markbike528CBX on April 01, 2019, 10:28:36 AM
DH and I were talking about when he should tell his boss that he is retiring. He thinks he can safely tell him this month without risking $150k in options that vest in June, but I'm not so sure. Thoughts?

If he has 2 weeks notice, I would wait until the money is on his bank account and resign the day after. If he doesn't hold out, use some sickleave.
+50. The shorter the notice the better.
 I did 7 months notice, in a positive environment, and regretted it.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on April 02, 2019, 06:38:56 AM
Thanks for the responses. I agree completely, but he feels that he "owes" the people on his team more notice. Also, he is responsible for project planning that he is included in so he feels uncomfortable planning when he won't be there to implement. He does not have an obligation to give more than 2 weeks notice.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Aelias on April 02, 2019, 07:54:40 AM
He just needs to go into it with his eyes open - if he gives an extended notice, there's a good chance (I'd say better than 50/50) that they will push him out before $150K vests.  Because it's a company, and companies are gonna act like companies.

That being said, it's clear from your previous posts that $150K isn't going to make or break your retirement and that you already have more than you need. So, what's the big deal if he loses the $150K?  That's the beauty of FI -- once you're sure you have enough, additional money becomes meaningless. So, if he wants to stay on to grab that last $150K, go for it.  If he feels like the right thing to do is give an extended notice and risk losing the $150K, go for it.  You're FI -- additional money should not be a driving factor anymore.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Mother Fussbudget on April 02, 2019, 08:32:33 AM
He just needs to go into it with his eyes open - if he gives an extended notice, there's a good chance (I'd say better than 50/50) that they will push him out before $150K vests.  Because it's a company, and companies are gonna act like companies.

THIS!

Also, wanted to add a link to the topic mentioned earlier:  Stop Worrying About the 4% Rule (https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/investor-alley/stop-worrying-about-the-4-rule/msg702774/#msg702774)

I accelerated FI by becoming a real estate investor (REI) - mostly SFH's providing a regular income source & tax deductions via depreciation.  You already have 1 rental property... 
Q: Have you considered purchasing other rental properties (even if you use property management to maintain them) and use the extra income to cover healthcare costs, and any other costs in FI? (i.e. travel, vacations, philanthropy, etc)  The tax benefits alone made REI worthwhile in my case. 

Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: pbkmaine on April 02, 2019, 08:43:23 AM
So, let him write up his resignation letter. He can post it the minute that $150k hits your account.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Exflyboy on April 02, 2019, 06:55:08 PM
OK your numbers are identical to ours (almost).. Which are:

1) We make $1850/month in rent.
2) Have about $2.5M in saved assets.. Actually we have $2.1M but have roughly $0.5M in pensions we could take now.
3) We spent $50k last year.

We don't make any income and we're 57 and almost 54.

So we make roughly $20k in rental profits (after deducted expenses) and about $12k after tax Qdivs (zero% federal income tax).

So this puts our MAGI at $32k.

We then sell about $30k's worth of investments which yield about $10k in long term cap gains (also taxed at zero% federal).

So now our MAGI is at $42k..

We then put $8k into an HSA which brings our MAGI down to $34k.

So thats gives us $54k to spend but our MAGI is $34k.

With this MAGI we spend $8 per month on an ACA Bronze plan and pay zero% federal.. The State whacks us for about $2k.

Thats what our finances look like..:)

WR of just under 1.5%.. Its hard to see how we could ever run out of money.. Even if the big one on the left coast does flatten our house!

Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on April 02, 2019, 09:11:57 PM
Wow...very cool...just opposite coasts! Your numbers are very encouraging, ex flyboy.

Thanks for all the replies on waiting to give notice (or not) until after options vest. If there's even a 1% chance they could walk him out before vesting, it's probably not worth the risk. Even if we don't need it, it's a nice little security blanket.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: SachaFiscal on April 04, 2019, 03:43:39 PM
So I popped over to Bogleheads for the first time and wandered around the forum a bit (not as nicely organized as this one). I discovered a couple of articles that indicated you can use a SWR of MORE than 4% as a 65 year old couple since there's only a 1% chance that you will BOTH live another 30 years...and only a 16% chance that one of you will live another 30 years. Life expectancy actuarial data (as in the Rich, Broke, Dead calculator) can be strangely comforting.

Wow that is kind of eye opening. So many people wait to 65 or even longer to retire but chances are they might have many years left. My father passed away at the age of 60, many years before he would have retired.  He had lived a frugal life and saved a nice retirement sum but never got to do all the travel or other retirement activities he had planned.  He was a healthy guy (good diet, moderate exercise) but got a rare disease.  My mom died a couple decades years later of another rare disease.  We really don't know how long we have left.  It is out of our control. Think about what that time is worth to you and your husband.  It's been over a year since I left work and I'm so glad that I did.  Even when the market fell 6 months after I quit, I still was happy I left. Even if I get diagnosed with some rare cancer now, at least I had that year where I wasn't a corporate servant and had control over how I spent my time.


Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Linea_Norway on April 05, 2019, 11:01:22 AM
So I popped over to Bogleheads for the first time and wandered around the forum a bit (not as nicely organized as this one). I discovered a couple of articles that indicated you can use a SWR of MORE than 4% as a 65 year old couple since there's only a 1% chance that you will BOTH live another 30 years...and only a 16% chance that one of you will live another 30 years. Life expectancy actuarial data (as in the Rich, Broke, Dead calculator) can be strangely comforting.

Wow that is kind of eye opening. So many people wait to 65 or even longer to retire but chances are they might have many years left. My father passed away at the age of 60, many years before he would have retired.  He had lived a frugal life and saved a nice retirement sum but never got to do all the travel or other retirement activities he had planned.  He was a healthy guy (good diet, moderate exercise) but got a rare disease.  My mom died a couple decades years later of another rare disease.  We really don't know how long we have left.  It is out of our control. Think about what that time is worth to you and your husband.  It's been over a year since I left work and I'm so glad that I did.  Even when the market fell 6 months after I quit, I still was happy I left. Even if I get diagnosed with some rare cancer now, at least I had that year where I wasn't a corporate servant and had control over how I spent my time.

This is how I feel too. My father died at 50 and has never enjoyed the freedom of not having to work. My MIL on the other hand, retired at 50. She just died at the age of 75 or so. So she had 25 years of freedom, the last ones were not positive because of dementia. But what a difference. I rather follow her path, apart from those last years. My mother als retired relatively early, because she had a governmental job that paid people to retire earlier. She seems to enjoy her freedom as well.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: deborah on April 06, 2019, 11:46:12 AM
If you give a lot of notice, you can become irrelevant. People donít include you in decision making because you are leaving. You arenít given work because you are leaving, so you get to do the nasty jobs.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: ender on April 06, 2019, 01:27:43 PM
So I popped over to Bogleheads for the first time and wandered around the forum a bit (not as nicely organized as this one). I discovered a couple of articles that indicated you can use a SWR of MORE than 4% as a 65 year old couple since there's only a 1% chance that you will BOTH live another 30 years...and only a 16% chance that one of you will live another 30 years. Life expectancy actuarial data (as in the Rich, Broke, Dead calculator) can be strangely comforting.

Wow that is kind of eye opening. So many people wait to 65 or even longer to retire but chances are they might have many years left. My father passed away at the age of 60, many years before he would have retired.  He had lived a frugal life and saved a nice retirement sum but never got to do all the travel or other retirement activities he had planned.  He was a healthy guy (good diet, moderate exercise) but got a rare disease.  My mom died a couple decades years later of another rare disease.  We really don't know how long we have left.  It is out of our control. Think about what that time is worth to you and your husband.  It's been over a year since I left work and I'm so glad that I did.  Even when the market fell 6 months after I quit, I still was happy I left. Even if I get diagnosed with some rare cancer now, at least I had that year where I wasn't a corporate servant and had control over how I spent my time.

There are a lot of things that start changing from the ER perspective by the time you hit 65 for a retirement age...

Your health, access to Social Security/medicaid, likelihood of inheritances, pensions, etc.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: RecoveringCarClown on April 25, 2019, 08:22:34 PM
Just lost another, sudden heart attack, was in great shape, mid 40ís, avid biker.  Lotís of money in the bank, so sad.  :(
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: dougules on April 26, 2019, 11:07:17 AM
Just lost another, sudden heart attack, was in great shape, mid 40ís, avid biker.  Lotís of money in the bank, so sad.  :(

I'm sorry to hear that.  Is there a reason you're losing so many friends in their 30s and 40s?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: dude on April 26, 2019, 11:52:12 AM
Wait, you live on $50k/year, but have the means (between rental income and drawing on investments) to pull $120k+/year and you're worried about healthcare costs??? Shit, even if you gotta pay $20k/year, you'd have $50k more per year to spend than you're living on now (and that's before you ever take a dime in Social Security). What is the problem again?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on April 26, 2019, 12:17:55 PM
Agreed. When I first posted in November, I had a lot of irrational anxiety about retiring. Now I am counting the days. Current plan: Hubs will give notice in May (after options vest), and I will finish up a few transactions and put my license in referral status (by September).
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: FIREstache on April 26, 2019, 02:53:12 PM

I'm locked in for OMY, but it's the 2MY that I had been contemplating.  I even started a case study a few days ago.  It seems most people think I should just do OMY, not 2MY.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Exflyboy on April 26, 2019, 03:10:35 PM
Agreed. When I first posted in November, I had a lot of irrational anxiety about retiring. Now I am counting the days. Current plan: Hubs will give notice in May (after options vest), and I will finish up a few transactions and put my license in referral status (by September).

Thats what I would do. $150k in options vesting is still a nice cherry on top.. Thats May 2019 right?

Like us you have plenty of money and under the ACA your HC costs will be tiny if you can follow the plan I laid out above.

More than likely your bigger problem will be to allow yourse;ves to spend money..:)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on April 26, 2019, 04:10:05 PM
Your post gave me a lot of confidence. How much can you put in an HSA? We are contemplating another rental (to help a family member and to give us more cash flow)...wondering just how much we can reduce MAGI by doing that.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Exflyboy on April 26, 2019, 04:57:17 PM
For us 57 and 54 we can put almost $8k into the HSA.. when we are both over 55 we can put $9k.. if you are both <55 you can put $7k.

Your rental income will be real income so your HSA contribution will ONLY be a dollar for dollar reduction.

But if you sell appreciated assets to make income then your MAGI increase is only the capital gain.. so for us roughly every $3 we sell generates $1 of MAGI.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on April 26, 2019, 06:23:09 PM
Thanks for the clarification. I'm a little concerned about the second rental throwing us out of subsidy range, but DH feels that it's wrong to take advantage of subsidies when you have plenty of assets. I see his point, but disagree. We have paid SO much in taxes over the years that I feel it's reasonable to take advantage of the options offered to us.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Exflyboy on April 26, 2019, 07:07:43 PM
Thanks for the clarification. I'm a little concerned about the second rental throwing us out of subsidy range, but DH feels that it's wrong to take advantage of subsidies when you have plenty of assets. I see his point, but disagree. We have paid SO much in taxes over the years that I feel it's reasonable to take advantage of the options offered to us.

Absolutely.. Put it another way. If the Gov is dumb enough to write a subsidy law based soley on income well.. guess what will happen? Its a very small percentage of claimants in any case.

Maybe having to pay over $1300/month might change his mind?..:)

Besides, Healthcare is so expensive mainly because the HC companies own the Government. If it was'nt as corrupt it would cost half what it does.

I don't have a lot of qualms about taking a subsidy.. And you're right, we paid a LOT of taxes over the years.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: RecoveringCarClown on April 26, 2019, 07:16:50 PM
Just lost another, sudden heart attack, was in great shape, mid 40ís, avid biker.  Lotís of money in the bank, so sad.  :(

I'm sorry to hear that.  Is there a reason you're losing so many friends in their 30s and 40s?

No real reason, cancer, genetics, freak accident, etc.  I know a huge number of people and I guess I am fairly popular as I have friends all over the world in this age group.  I suppose some you could call acquaintances instead of friends, but still sucks.  Not looking forward to getting old enough where this accelerates.

Also, sorry to drag down your thread OMY, that was not my intent. :)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on April 26, 2019, 07:26:34 PM
Not at all, RCC. It's the most compelling reason to retire and start enjoying the fruits of our labor.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: markbike528CBX on April 26, 2019, 09:33:15 PM
Not at all, RCC. It's the most compelling reason to retire and start enjoying the fruits of our labor.

[singing Hosannas, Bach playing]  It is nice to see  a) The OP get it,  b) The OP to put it so powerfully, succinctly and beautifully 
 
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on April 27, 2019, 05:25:58 AM
I will let you know if I still feel the same when DH gives notice...ha! But seriously, I do feel much more confident about retiring than I did 6 months ago. The good advice and face punches I've received on this forum have helped a lot.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Exflyboy on April 27, 2019, 04:39:10 PM
I will let you know if I still feel the same when DH gives notice...ha! But seriously, I do feel much more confident about retiring than I did 6 months ago. The good advice and face punches I've received on this forum have helped a lot.

Honestly this is the biggest transition you will ever make in your lives! I know a lot of people say they can just walk out without a care in the world, but I couldn't. My NW has grown by about 70% since I quit 5 years ago and I would say its only been quite recently that I have felt financially secure.

Numbers are one thing.. Feeling good about cutting off a firehose of cash that was mostly inflating a giant NW balloon is a different thing entirely..:)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: StacheInAsia on April 29, 2019, 09:48:46 PM
Honestly this is the biggest transition you will ever make in your lives! I know a lot of people say they can just walk out without a care in the world, but I couldn't. My NW has grown by about 70% since I quit 5 years ago and I would say its only been quite recently that I have felt financially secure.

Numbers are one thing.. Feeling good about cutting off a firehose of cash that was mostly inflating a giant NW balloon is a different thing entirely..:)

"Feeling good about cutting off a firehose of cash" that increases the NW balloon is definitely something I have been struggling with after hitting FI.

I was able to negotiate a part time arrangement last year that put me at three days a week for several months, and two days a week starting from this month. It feels difficult right now to give up that final bit, even though I know that I don't really "need" the money. On the other hand, I previously hit points where I just felt "done" at full time and at three days, so I imagine the same thing will happen with this schedule eventually.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on April 30, 2019, 06:33:22 AM
Yes...definitely the hardest part! Logically, I know we are ready. But when another year adds $500k+ to the stash it's hard to turn off the hose. But I have started to look at it as turning on a different hose of adventure and freedom.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Exflyboy on April 30, 2019, 02:30:52 PM
Yes...definitely the hardest part! Logically, I know we are ready. But when another year adds $500k+ to the stash it's hard to turn off the hose. But I have started to look at it as turning on a different hose of adventure and freedom.

Honestly if OMY added $500k to my stash I would have worked another 4 years,.. Golden handcuffs and all that..:)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on April 30, 2019, 03:11:53 PM
Yes...we've finally hit the sweet spot in our careers (especially DH who they throw money at). I am at the point where I get referrals from past clients and no longer have to prospect for my next buyers and sellers. It does seem a bit crazy to turn it down now.

On the other hand, DH is tired of the job/stress/commute. And we have "enough". As was pointed out earlier, not much is gained by hoarding even more when our contingency plans have contingency plans.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Exflyboy on April 30, 2019, 03:55:49 PM
That is exactly right..
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Ozlady on April 30, 2019, 05:02:15 PM
PTF...in my case a 3-More-Year syndrome as the golden handcuffs is about a mil we will leave behind on the table:(

BTW Ages of DH and i  are the same as you Exflyboy :)

Problem is and always has been ...the kids , the kids....and the bloody legacy i wish to leave for them...just can't shake that off:((

But good on you OMY ..i will be checking in on you when the day comes :))
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: RetireAbroadAt35 on May 02, 2019, 11:19:55 PM
On the other hand, DH is tired of the job/stress/commute. And we have "enough". As was pointed out earlier, not much is gained by hoarding even more when our contingency plans have contingency plans.

I have contingency plans, but my contingency plans don't yet have contingency plans.  I guess the lesson is, my OMY syndrome (https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/am-i-there-yet-one-more-year-year-year-year-year/) wouldn't be helped by more contingency planning.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: TomTX on May 03, 2019, 11:00:43 AM
Do you have a contingency plan to avoid blowing another year working when you already have more than enough to retire?

;)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Dicey on May 05, 2019, 09:48:04 AM
Problem is and always has been ...the kids , the kids....and the bloody legacy i wish to leave for them...just can't shake that off:((
I'm willing to bet a fat wad of cash that the legacy your kids would prefer is time and experiences with you, not another zero in their bank account. Your kids hopefully have a lot of time left on this earth. The magic of compounding over time will create more than you can imagine. Give them the gift of your presence now.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Malcat on May 05, 2019, 09:55:27 AM
By "legacy" do people just mean money?

How is a single generation inheritance a "legacy"?
I mean, I get it if it's a business, or a charity endowment in the family's name, a historic property, or a political dynasty or something, but are we just calling inheritances "legacy" now?

Please correct me if I'm wrong.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: DoNorth on May 05, 2019, 11:01:02 AM
there's a saying that goes neither travel nor triathlons get better with age.  My inlaws (68 and 69) saved a bunch of money and retired about 6 or 7 years ago.  they just came to visit us in France and had a really hard time getting around.  My wife and I noticed it, the kids noticed it.  Lots of sitting, breaks, waking up late, easily fatigued etc.  My father in law wasted prime years in his early 60s waiting on a severance buyout that never happened, vesting options that were a tiny fraction of his NW and all the while endured a torturous and much younger boss so he could continue collecting his paycheck despite already being FI.  OYS is one more year of working, sure, but more importantly its one more year of not doing something else extremely meaningful, new, fun and adventurous. 

Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: 2sk22 on May 07, 2019, 12:30:40 PM
He's been ready for years. My "what ifs" have delayed us. He's been accommodating and thought that "stockpiling" more reserves would alleviate my anxiety. At this point my contingency plans have contingency plans. It's time for him to quit.

I have to say that you have summarized almost precisely what going on in my mind. I love the phrase "my contingency plans have contingency plans"
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on May 21, 2019, 04:54:48 PM
Update: DH told boss today of his intention to retire soon. Boss was shocked, but supportive. And I didn't even have a panic attack.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Linea_Norway on May 22, 2019, 12:56:25 AM
Update: DH told boss today of his intention to retire soon. Boss was shocked, but supportive. And I didn't even have a panic attack.

Hurray!, he is quitting soon.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Trifele on May 22, 2019, 05:20:02 AM
I'm very late to your thread @Omy, but wanted to chime in and offer support.  Your recent developments (DH voicing his plans at work) are fantastic!  Now go for it!  Freedom is near for both of you.  I FIREd in January from a cash firehose job, at the sweet spot of my career.  Absolutely no regrets whatsoever.  FIRE is even better than I imagined it would be. 

Come on over to the 2019 FIRE Cohort thread:  https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/2019-fire-cohort/2450/  Lots of folks there have wrestled the OMY demon and have come out the other side.  You can do it!
   
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on May 22, 2019, 06:04:29 AM
Joining the 2019 cohort thread would def help make it real. He is open to retiring in June...or staying 6 months to a year if they give him a big severance package at the end. I asked if he preferred to just quit now, but it sounds like he would be equally happy to continue for a bit if there's a big enough carrot at the end. I then realized that I would be happy with the carrot....but slightly disappointed that we wouldn't be making the jump right away. That realization was a shocker to me. Maybe my OMY syndrome is just about cured.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: MonkeyJenga on May 22, 2019, 08:43:47 AM
I then realized that I would be happy with the carrot....but slightly disappointed that we wouldn't be making the jump right away. That realization was a shocker to me. Maybe my OMY syndrome is just about cured.

You're gonna have to change your name!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: RecoveringCarClown on May 22, 2019, 10:31:34 PM
Joining the 2019 cohort thread would def help make it real. He is open to retiring in June...or staying 6 months to a year if they give him a big severance package at the end. I asked if he preferred to just quit now, but it sounds like he would be equally happy to continue for a bit if there's a big enough carrot at the end. I then realized that I would be happy with the carrot....but slightly disappointed that we wouldn't be making the jump right away. That realization was a shocker to me. Maybe my OMY syndrome is just about cured.

Oh my, donít trade any more of your lives for money!  You have already achieved fat-fire!!  I have refrained from telling my latest story, but you can guess.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on May 23, 2019, 12:11:13 AM
I agree. If he decides to work another year, it doesn't mean I have to. And I'm so sorry if you've lost another young friend, RCC.

Perhaps I will change my name to "Nomy", MJ.


Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: deborah on May 23, 2019, 08:02:53 PM
One minus year.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on June 04, 2019, 06:28:22 PM
Minor update...I joined the 2019 cohort thread so I guess it's official. DH is leaving in July and I am wrapping up what will probably be my final transaction at the end of June. I feel lighter already.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Exflyboy on June 05, 2019, 11:33:10 AM
Minor update...I joined the 2019 cohort thread so I guess it's official. DH is leaving in July and I am wrapping up what will probably be my final transaction at the end of June. I feel lighter already.

Great..:)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: AlanStache on June 07, 2019, 08:18:43 AM
Following! 
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: RecoveringCarClown on June 07, 2019, 10:51:58 PM
Minor update...I joined the 2019 cohort thread so I guess it's official. DH is leaving in July and I am wrapping up what will probably be my final transaction at the end of June. I feel lighter already.

Thank goodness!!!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Dicey on June 07, 2019, 11:51:12 PM
Sounds like a major update to me!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on June 08, 2019, 05:23:29 AM
Minor update...I joined the 2019 cohort thread so I guess it's official. DH is leaving in July and I am wrapping up what will probably be my final transaction at the end of June. I feel lighter already.

Almost three months from giving the notice and two from leaving, I can say its pretty incredible
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on June 08, 2019, 07:31:50 AM
So husband announces to me yesterday that his last day will be August 2. He hasn't told boss what his last day will be yet, so I ask why he is delaying. He says that way we get the extra free month of health insurance (which I had learned on this forum...thank you). I ask "How about July 2?" He says he doesn't want to deal with getting a new phone right before our planned vacation in early July (since his current phone is company owned).

I'm still planning to put my license in referral status at the end of June. I guess he has graduated from "one more year" syndrome to "one more month" syndrome. Sheesh.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on June 08, 2019, 08:09:09 AM
One more month is easier :)

Extended out my date by four days for another two weeks of health insurance
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: AlanStache on June 08, 2019, 08:10:52 AM
So husband announces to me yesterday that his last day will be August 2. He hasn't told boss what his last day will be yet, so I ask why he is delaying. He says that way we get the extra free month of health insurance (which I had learned on this forum...thank you). I ask "How about July 2?" He says he doesn't want to deal with getting a new phone right before our planned vacation in early July (since his current phone is company owned).

I'm still planning to put my license in referral status at the end of June. I guess he has graduated from "one more year" syndrome to "one more month" syndrome. Sheesh.

my mind went right to mathematical limit analysis...  One more year -> One more month -> one more week -> one more day -> one more hour -> one more minute...  I guess the good part of this is that at some point it will line up with some BS meeting and he will just walk out :-)

Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Trifele on June 08, 2019, 04:53:44 PM
So husband announces to me yesterday that his last day will be August 2. He hasn't told boss what his last day will be yet, so I ask why he is delaying. He says that way we get the extra free month of health insurance (which I had learned on this forum...thank you).

Many work plans work that way, but not all -- as I found out when I retired.  Our plan (a good one in other ways) was written so that it only ran until the Saturday following the employee's last day of work. 

It just depends how it is set up.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: RecoveringCarClown on June 08, 2019, 06:53:57 PM
So husband announces to me yesterday that his last day will be August 2. He hasn't told boss what his last day will be yet, so I ask why he is delaying. He says that way we get the extra free month of health insurance (which I had learned on this forum...thank you). I ask "How about July 2?" He says he doesn't want to deal with getting a new phone right before our planned vacation in early July (since his current phone is company owned).

I'm still planning to put my license in referral status at the end of June. I guess he has graduated from "one more year" syndrome to "one more month" syndrome. Sheesh.

Sure, getting a new phone is a hassle ;)

https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/04/24/unleash-your-inner-hasselhoff-for-greater-riches/
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on June 09, 2019, 01:17:19 AM
I thought that was a weird excuse, too!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on June 12, 2019, 11:53:13 AM
So COBRA will cost $1300/month to continue our current plan for 18 months (with vision, dental and HSA). That sounds really reasonable given that the market place numbers are $1500-2400/mo for silver plans (no subsidy at our current income levels). Any reasons we shouldn't go down the COBRA route?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Financial.Velociraptor on June 12, 2019, 03:34:37 PM
If you like you plan and it is cheaper by all means keep it.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on June 13, 2019, 04:23:58 AM
So COBRA will cost $1300/month to continue our current plan for 18 months (with vision, dental and HSA). That sounds really reasonable given that the market place numbers are $1500-2400/mo for silver plans (no subsidy at our current income levels). Any reasons we shouldn't go down the COBRA route?

No.  We went on COBRA for 2019.   The price difference basically means your employer's pool of employees is a bit healthier than the ACA participants in your state.   My employer was full of old stressed out people, so the cost difference wasn't much.  We went with COBRA because we were already a good ways into our deductible.   
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on June 13, 2019, 06:03:10 AM

No.  We went on COBRA for 2019.   The price difference basically means your employer's pool of employees is a bit healthier than the ACA participants in your state.

That makes sense. We are assuming that by 2021 (assuming the ACA is still in tact), we might be able to figure out how to get our income under $65k to qualify for a bit of subsidy. If not, I've also considered getting a job long enough to qualify for insurance and ride that COBRA out for another 18 months. Does anybody do that?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: AO1FireTo on June 13, 2019, 08:39:31 AM
Engineer friend of mine died last week, leaving a wife and baby behind. Not even 40 years old yet.

You and your husband have basically no chance of running out of money if you follow the basic MMM guidelines.  At this point, it's just how much of your life do you want to force your husband to keep working?

I find the "Rich Broke Dead" visualizer to be useful. I put in a rough approximation of your numbers. The red area (none) is "broke" and the grey area is "dead".

http://engaging-data.com/will-money-last-retire-early/?utm_source=mmm

Wow this is amazing, thanks for sharing.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on June 13, 2019, 09:57:54 AM
That calculator was one of the catalysts for me to stop my "one more year" syndrome. Being able to see that death was going to get me before lack of money would was a real eye opener.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Rdy2Fire on June 25, 2019, 06:03:23 AM
Great thread and great info; thanks everyone
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: enFuego on June 30, 2019, 02:25:15 PM
Congrats @Omy on making progress on your decision.  I have to say I really appreciate the discussion in this thread as I can see myself having the same struggle with OMY in the future.  We are both very conservative with regards to the financial risk of retiring early.  I'd be more likely to do OMY than roll the dice on not having more than enough.

The Rich, Broke or Dead visualization is very powerful to me.  We actually just reviewed our numbers together and DW was nodding right along with projections regarding NW in a certain number of years.  I plugged our numbers in to that chart without the Dead part and DW was still a little skeptical.  Checking the box to visualize the possibility of death made an impact.  Adding into our discussion the risk of running out of years instead of running out of money emphasized our shared viewpoint of when enough is enough.

Best wishes...
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on June 30, 2019, 02:35:35 PM
Yes, it is a very powerful visual. I credit that (along with everybody here, of course) for getting me to realize that it is an almost certainty that I will die before I run out of money. That picture was worth a thousand words.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on June 30, 2019, 02:45:51 PM
Another update: My transaction that was supposed to wrap up in June has expanded into July (hopefully in the next couple of weeks). I have been strategic about not taking on any new business, but I need to see this one through. So my FIRE date has moved from end of June to end of July. DH target date is still August 2. I am goofing off quite a bit...amusement park with my niece last week and lots of time floating in the pool. Practicing for my upcoming life of leisure.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Much Fishing to Do on July 24, 2019, 11:49:41 AM
Problem is and always has been ...the kids , the kids....and the bloody legacy i wish to leave for them...just can't shake that off:((
I'm willing to bet a fat wad of cash that the legacy your kids would prefer is time and experiences with you, not another zero in their bank account. Your kids hopefully have a lot of time left on this earth. The magic of compounding over time will create more than you can imagine. Give them the gift of your presence now.
I just had a conversation with my father (he 77) that was kinda heartbreaking along these lines.  He was a great dad, he was a great husband, who made as much time for his family as he could (and much more than most I'd bet), and was a very hard working loyal employee (in the medical field, so his loyalty was to his patients as well).

Yet now, he's taking care of my mom, who's admittedly not quite all there anymore.  Its very difficult, very very difficult (please support the caregivers in your family).  And in our conversation he kept returning to he just can't believe "its over" (normal life with mom), and how he cant believe how fast it all went, and how he wished he had not spent so much time working as the good years passed.

And this is from a guy that did spend a lot of time with his wife and kids, who did a job that was a service to the community, and who didn't hate  his work.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: snowdog on July 25, 2019, 07:14:48 AM
Another update: My transaction that was supposed to wrap up in June has expanded into July (hopefully in the next couple of weeks). I have been strategic about not taking on any new business, but I need to see this one through. So my FIRE date has moved from end of June to end of July. DH target date is still August 2. I am goofing off quite a bit...amusement park with my niece last week and lots of time floating in the pool. Practicing for my upcoming life of leisure.

OMY, I'm in the same boat as you.  My original date of May keeps getting pushed.  I agreed to stay until a replacement is found and that's taken a bit longer than expected.  I'm now looking at an August/Sept end date.  I'm cool with this as they are paying me a huge transition bonus (variable based on time retained).  All pressure is off so it's very bearable.  I'm going to use the bonus to fund my retirement toys.  Getting anxious though...really looking forward to starting my next chapter.   
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on July 25, 2019, 07:54:14 AM
I'm getting antsy because this transaction has taken on a life of its own and I can't abandon the seller at this point. I'm hoping for August now. Good luck on your transition,  snowdog!

That is heartbreaking, Much Fishing To Do! For the last several years, I've worried that we wouldn't have enough money to last another 40 years. After a few health scares (and a few face punches), I realize I need to focus on having good quality of life - not just more money.

Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: dougules on July 26, 2019, 10:59:23 AM
I'm getting antsy because this transaction has taken on a life of its own and I can't abandon the seller at this point. I'm hoping for August now. Good luck on your transition,  snowdog!

That is heartbreaking, Much Fishing To Do! For the last several years, I've worried that we wouldn't have enough money to last another 40 years. After a few health scares (and a few face punches), I realize I need to focus on having good quality of life - not just more money.

That sounds like the bell on the last day of school getting delayed. 


Problem is and always has been ...the kids , the kids....and the bloody legacy i wish to leave for them...just can't shake that off:((
I'm willing to bet a fat wad of cash that the legacy your kids would prefer is time and experiences with you, not another zero in their bank account. Your kids hopefully have a lot of time left on this earth. The magic of compounding over time will create more than you can imagine. Give them the gift of your presence now.
I just had a conversation with my father (he 77) that was kinda heartbreaking along these lines.  He was a great dad, he was a great husband, who made as much time for his family as he could (and much more than most I'd bet), and was a very hard working loyal employee (in the medical field, so his loyalty was to his patients as well).

Yet now, he's taking care of my mom, who's admittedly not quite all there anymore.  Its very difficult, very very difficult (please support the caregivers in your family).  And in our conversation he kept returning to he just can't believe "its over" (normal life with mom), and how he cant believe how fast it all went, and how he wished he had not spent so much time working as the good years passed.

And this is from a guy that did spend a lot of time with his wife and kids, who did a job that was a service to the community, and who didn't hate  his work.

That sounds tough.  A lot of us will probably be there some day.  Trying to appreciate the time before then puts a totally different spin on YOLO.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Rdy2Fire on July 26, 2019, 11:06:55 AM
Stop trading time for money. You WILL die one day. If you are in a situation where you've hit your number, trying to hang on for one more year for more money you don't really need is foolish. You WILL REGRET sacrificing a "good" year of life where you were healthy enough to really enjoy it (so you can travel etc.) once you are having health issues later on in life (IF you make it that far). Think about being in hospice and asking yourself if waiting another year was the right decision.


I am TOTALLY in this situation right now.. hit the number, just barely as I FIRE'd (unplanned) and now have a potential job opportunity. Living in a HCOL area and not really planning to have FIRE'd i am waiting to see the offer but have been mulling it based on exactly what you wrote
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on August 05, 2019, 12:47:19 PM
DH FIRE'd on Friday and the stock market is tanking...zero surprise there!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: dougules on August 06, 2019, 11:10:07 AM
DH FIRE'd on Friday and the stock market is tanking...zero surprise there!

Yes, but based on what you've told us it would take a nuclear winter before you needed to start cutting a few of the luxuries out of your budget. 

EDIT: One other thing, the market is still ~5% higher than it was when you started the thread before accounting for dividends. 
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on August 06, 2019, 12:47:36 PM
I know - and the best news is that I am completely confident in the plan and not worried at all. The timing was just so freakin' predictable.

DH sold a bunch of his stock options last week and managed to do it at almost their all time high, so there's that...
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: dougules on August 06, 2019, 01:37:04 PM
I know - and the best news is that I am completely confident in the plan and not worried at all. The timing was just so freakin' predictable.

DH sold a bunch of his stock options last week and managed to do it at almost their all time high, so there's that...

I know.  You can expect a huge crash around 2023 when we retire. 

It sounds like luck was actually on your husband's side. 
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on August 06, 2019, 01:49:58 PM
Agreed. It's hard to whine when things usually go you're way.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: SugarMountain on August 08, 2019, 08:32:10 AM
I know - and the best news is that I am completely confident in the plan and not worried at all. The timing was just so freakin' predictable.

DH sold a bunch of his stock options last week and managed to do it at almost their all time high, so there's that...

Great thread.  I am in a similar spot.  We've been FI for several years, but that option vesting carrot is strong.  I've really been OMY'ing it since 2016. I tried to quit last year and my last day would have been within a couple of days of the market peak last September, so by December I was kind of glad I hadn't.  My boss's boss pushed me to stay, giving me a completely new role which is very low stress (I went from managing 65 software developers scattered across the globe - US, India, China, etc. to managing 0 and doing a bunch of low priority side projects.)  I want to pull the trigger soon since options vested last month and financially we're fine.  But at 51 I have similar concerns about healthcare for the next 14 years.  One thing I've been thinking about is NFW am I working until 65 so I'll have to deal with the healthcare nightmare at some point.  18 months of COBRA gets us through the next election. 

DW has been retired for a few years for a variety of reasons, so she's kind of waiting for me. But, last year it was easier to quit, I hated my job, I had a new boss who I didn't like, the hours were ridiculous since I was basically on call 24x7.  Now I have none of that.  My job is just boring, but damn they pay me a lot for the amount of work I'm doing.  So I've been dithering a lot.

And as Much Fishing to Do points out there is the possibility of needing to focus on parental care.  3 of our parents are in their late 70s and while healthy now, I can certainly see a few years down the road where we'll need to take care of them and then suddenly we'll be old and need to be taken care of ourselves.

Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: AlanStache on August 08, 2019, 09:44:26 AM
...

And as Much Fishing to Do points out there is the possibility of needing to focus on parental care.  3 of our parents are in their late 70s and while healthy now, I can certainly see a few years down the road where we'll need to take care of them and then suddenly we'll be old and need to be taken care of ourselves.

That sort of sounds like a reason to quit now and go have some fun while they need less work and you are younger/healthier.  I do get the "make hay while the sun is out" side as it maybe needed latter.  But at the same time how much more of your time life are you willing to give up to take care of other adults?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: SugarMountain on August 08, 2019, 10:06:48 AM
...

And as Much Fishing to Do points out there is the possibility of needing to focus on parental care.  3 of our parents are in their late 70s and while healthy now, I can certainly see a few years down the road where we'll need to take care of them and then suddenly we'll be old and need to be taken care of ourselves.

That sort of sounds like a reason to quit now and go have some fun while they need less work and you are younger/healthier.  I do get the "make hay while the sun is out" side as it maybe needed latter.  But at the same time how much more of your time life are you willing to give up to take care of other adults?

Yes, that's what I'm getting at, I think about that a bit when I start considering doing OMY.  (The other aspect as has been pointed out is our own mortality.  A while ago, I tallied up the number of friends, colleagues, and associates who are my age or younger who are no longer with us and it was a bit disconcerting. Cancer, car accidents, suicide, etc, etc). 
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on August 10, 2019, 05:00:36 AM
I know - and the best news is that I am completely confident in the plan and not worried at all. The timing was just so freakin' predictable.

DH sold a bunch of his stock options last week and managed to do it at almost their all time high, so there's that...

That's so awesome!

This "tanking" wasn't too bad.  Loosing 15% of our net worth back in December was a little more exciting.  You know the more times I go through this the less I'm worried.  This week was more amusing than anything else.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on August 20, 2019, 04:50:14 PM
So it's official. My final transaction settled today!!

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. 🍾🎈🎉
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: MaybeBabyMustache on August 20, 2019, 05:00:44 PM
So it's official. My final transaction settled today!!

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. 🍾🎈🎉

This is awesome!! A huge congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: AlanStache on August 20, 2019, 07:57:20 PM
So it's official. My final transaction settled today!!

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. 🍾🎈🎉

!!!! keep us up to date!!!
Title: Re: Serious &quot;one more year&quot; syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: ItsALongStory on August 20, 2019, 09:12:25 PM
Success! Back to the starting line but it's a much more exciting journey. :-)

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Dicey on August 20, 2019, 10:13:48 PM
Welcome to the club!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on August 21, 2019, 05:46:15 AM
Thank you! And not just for the well wishes, but for all of the encouragement along the way. If I hadn't started this thread 9 months ago, I am positive that DH and I would still be slogging along -drowning in money and complaining that we didn't have enough time.

An interesting thing happened in the middle of the night. I woke up briefly as I often do, figured out what day it was, and then went right back to sleep! I didn't spend the next hour or so worrying about everything I had to do...I just slept! It's lovely to think this might be my new normal.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Linea_Norway on August 21, 2019, 06:12:44 AM
An interesting thing happened in the middle of the night. I woke up briefly as I often do, figured out what day it was, and then went right back to sleep! I didn't spend the next hour or so worrying about everything I had to do...I just slept! It's lovely to think this might be my new normal.

Congrats with your big step.

About waking up in the middle of the night: last night I woke up around 3 am, worrying about one thing. Eventually I got up to do get my mind off the thing, reading a bit about where we will be living in the future. That worked, my mind was off the first worry. I went  back to bed and started thinking about the new thing for the remainder of the night.
Functioning on coke (cola) today.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Financial.Velociraptor on August 21, 2019, 11:24:44 AM
Thank you! And not just for the well wishes, but for all of the encouragement along the way. If I hadn't started this thread 9 months ago, I am positive that DH and I would still be slogging along -drowning in money and complaining that we didn't have enough time.

An interesting thing happened in the middle of the night. I woke up briefly as I often do, figured out what day it was, and then went right back to sleep! I didn't spend the next hour or so worrying about everything I had to do...I just slept! It's lovely to think this might be my new normal.

Great sleep is one of the best benefits of FIRE almost 7 years in.  I can't say enough about napping when the heat index is over 100 here in Houston either!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on August 27, 2019, 03:16:02 PM
Napping is a wonderful thing! I woke up around 8:30 (at least an hour later than I used to sleep), ate a quick bite, took a long walk with DH, made lunch, worked on a couple of minor house projects, napped for an hour, showered and got ready to meet friends for half price burger night.

A relatively lazy day, but I feel relaxed - not a bit concerned that I didn't accomplish more. I could get used to this.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: markbike528CBX on August 27, 2019, 09:24:45 PM
Napping is a wonderful thing! I woke up around 8:30 (at least an hour later than I used to sleep), ate a quick bite, took a long walk with DH, made lunch, worked on a couple of minor house projects, napped for an hour, showered and got ready to meet friends for half price burger night.

A relatively lazy day, but I feel relaxed - not a bit concerned that I didn't accomplish more. I could get used to this.

We told you so :-)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on October 05, 2019, 04:39:47 PM
Checking in...things are going pretty well. I've happily referred a few potential clients to other realtors which should lead to some passive income. I didn't have any interest in taking these transactions on myself, so that's a good sign that FIRE might be starting to take hold.

I feel like I'm doing a good job of exercising more (daily walks/hikes of 2-5 miles) and eating better. Food costs have dropped from close to $1000/month to under $500/month by eating in a lot more. We could do better...but baby steps for now.

My biggest challenge is occasional anxiety about not accomplishing more. I'm hoping that is just part of the decompressing stage.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on October 06, 2019, 09:02:52 AM
Checking in...things are going pretty well. I've happily referred a few potential clients to other realtors which should lead to some passive income. I didn't have any interest in taking these transactions on myself, so that's a good sign that FIRE might be starting to take hold.

I feel like I'm doing a good job of exercising more (daily walks/hikes of 2-5 miles) and eating better. Food costs have dropped from close to $1000/month to under $500/month by eating in a lot more. We could do better...but baby steps for now.

My biggest challenge is occasional anxiety about not accomplishing more. I'm hoping that is just part of the decompressing stage.

That "anxiety about accomplishing more" didn't go away for me quickly.  It was very slow over six months.  Completely normal
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on October 06, 2019, 09:25:52 AM
Good to know. I definitely need to learn how to structure my life now that I have so much more free time.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on October 07, 2019, 05:35:51 PM
Good to know. I definitely need to learn how to structure my life now that I have so much more free time.

For me it was the other way around....learning to live with less structure.

My poor wife, I was wound up and ready to be productive by 9:30.  She had a few years ahead of me to learn "no, I don't have to do that yet".

Figuring out each others balance has been interesting.  Took 3-4 months then it got better
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on October 07, 2019, 06:40:19 PM
That makes a lot of sense. DH is so relaxed...no more alarm clock, commute, or 9-5 so he sleeps until 10. I used to work from home a lot so I still wake up naturally at 7...but without my usual 50 emails to deal with. Nice to know it just takes time to adjust.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Linea_Norway on October 08, 2019, 12:35:50 AM
That makes a lot of sense. DH is so relaxed...no more alarm clock, commute, or 9-5 so he sleeps until 10. I used to work from home a lot so I still wake up naturally at 7...but without my usual 50 emails to deal with. Nice to know it just takes time to adjust.

I recognize that, getting up a very early hour on my days off, especially this time of the year when the sun shines unto the bedroom window.
Can you not give yourself some task to do in the morning, like writing yourself some morning pages or doing meditation/yoga?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on October 08, 2019, 01:03:42 PM
I was thinking that this morning. I could hop on the treadmill or play with acrylics or water colors to substitute for the "busy" work that used to occupy my mind.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Weedy Acres on October 12, 2019, 05:47:06 AM
In my mind, RE (or retiring period) isnít about being able to sleep all day and play solitaire.  Itís about having the freedom and flexibility to do whatever you want.  That could be taking care of your kids (a la MMM) or taking care of parents, or traveling the world, or learning and developing new skills, or volunteering for a cause, or serving in local government, or a plethora of other possibilities. 

I donít imagine much joy in just sitting around doing nothing.  I see a lot of joy in using your freedom to accomplish something you really care about and/or will make a difference in the world.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on October 12, 2019, 07:40:27 AM
Agreed. I'm a bit paralyzed, I think. I had been spending 6-10 hours a day concerned about work (even on weekends since I was a realtor.) Now I cook, work on house projects, take daily hikes, and have a lot more time for family and friends.

Instead of enjoying my new found freedom, I worry that I should be accomplishing more. I also know that if I take on a new cause right now, I won't really decompress fully - I'll just throw myself into the new thing so I don't have to do the work on myself.


Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on October 12, 2019, 08:05:04 AM
Agreed. I'm a bit paralyzed, I think. I had been spending 6-10 hours a day concerned about work (even on weekends since I was a realtor.) Now I cook, work on house projects, take daily hikes, and have a lot more time for family and friends.

Instead of enjoying my new found freedom, I worry that I should be accomplishing more. I also know that if I take on a new cause right now, I won't really decompress fully - I'll just throw myself into the new thing so I don't have to do the work on myself.

It requires discipline *just* to commit to six months of not trying to accomplish anything.  I can't begin to say how happy I am that I've done that.  My drive along with the internal stress it was causing me has slowed and I'm more relaxed. 

Disclaimer - I have a 3hr/week gig and that's been "enough".  I'm sure your trailing real estate stuff is a few hours a week.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on October 12, 2019, 09:24:47 AM
Yes it is still occupying a bit of my time. I just had a listing appointment this week. My goal was to do a warm hand off to a colleague rather than just give the seller a name and a number. It went well and will likely translate to $7k in passive  referral income in the next year. I also had to fix a "broken" icemaker at one of my rental units - and deal with repairs on an old hvac system in the other rental. So I'm not at the sitting around eating bon-bons stage of retirement just yet!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: jimmyshutter on October 13, 2019, 04:23:30 PM
Disregard post. Thank you
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on January 05, 2020, 03:28:30 PM
A few more FIREd months under my belt, and I'm happy to report that it's going well...as you all told me it would. We just looked at our end of year numbers and were pleasantly surprised that our net worth was quite a bit higher than in August when we stopped working. Thanks again for all of the advice and support. I'm pretty sure I'd still be trading time for money if I hadn't started this post.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: 2sk22 on January 06, 2020, 02:20:32 AM
Great to hear your update! Can't wait to join the class of 2020 myself :-)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Simpli-Fi on January 06, 2020, 05:23:50 AM
Love this thread!

I'm so happy for Omy and her DH.  What a life!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on January 06, 2020, 05:24:45 AM
A few more FIREd months under my belt, and I'm happy to report that it's going well...as you all told me it would. We just looked at our end of year numbers and were pleasantly surprised that our net worth was quite a bit higher than in August when we stopped working. Thanks again for all of the advice and support. I'm pretty sure I'd still be trading time for money if I hadn't started this post.

Congrats again!  I'm waiting for that April update...once you make it that far, I think you are in the clear from being tempted back into your old routine
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on January 06, 2020, 10:11:15 AM
chasesfish quote from another post:

"After the first six months...this is beyond awesome.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.   The biggest realization is I was good at my job, I liked my job, and at times I was passionate about my job and enjoyed the journey at times.   However, my job was not my life and it provided a means to an end.  The further away I get from it the more I realized that the time I spent at work came at the expense of everything else.  Friends, family, hobbies, travelling.   The ability to *rarely* feel rushed at anything is incredible.   I was rushed every day with work deadlines and a long list of "to-dos" at home and I'd be constantly doing triage to figure out what was most important."

This really resonated with me (even though I'm only 4.5 months into FIRE). I almost can't remember the me who was worried about how I would fill the void in my life left by not having "purpose". DH was instantly free and excited when he retired. I was a bit lost at first, but I think I've turned the corner.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: JoJo on January 06, 2020, 11:02:36 AM
Thanks for the inspiration.  I have several people in my life convincing me to keep working (I'm 60% time so full benies covered) but I'm getting sick of the things I'm working on.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on January 06, 2020, 11:16:22 AM
chasesfish quote from another post:

"After the first six months...this is beyond awesome.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.   The biggest realization is I was good at my job, I liked my job, and at times I was passionate about my job and enjoyed the journey at times.   However, my job was not my life and it provided a means to an end.  The further away I get from it the more I realized that the time I spent at work came at the expense of everything else.  Friends, family, hobbies, travelling.   The ability to *rarely* feel rushed at anything is incredible.   I was rushed every day with work deadlines and a long list of "to-dos" at home and I'd be constantly doing triage to figure out what was most important."

This really resonated for me (even though I'm only 4.5 months into FIRE). I almost can't remember the me who was worried about how I would fill the void in my life left by not having "purpose". DH was instantly free and excited when he retired. I was a bit lost at first, but I think I've turned the corner.

I love it.

I'll still have the fleeting hour or two where I *think* about an enjoyable full time job....but I go fishing and the thought passes quickly.  I live somewhere that "cold" meant 55 and it meant it was a bass fishing the retention ponds kind of day
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: xbdb on January 06, 2020, 12:53:02 PM
A few more FIREd months under my belt, and I'm happy to report that it's going well...as you all told me it would. We just looked at our end of year numbers and were pleasantly surprised that our net worth was quite a bit higher than in August when we stopped working. Thanks again for all of the advice and support. I'm pretty sure I'd still be trading time for money if I hadn't started this post.

Right On. I too have been retired since August and I love it. My net worth, thanks to the roaring economy and stock market, is also significantly higher. I love not having to get up early at o'dark thirty to go to work and the freedom to do whatever I want to. It's everything I hoped it would be. When I'm at the end of my life, I will look back upon this as one of the best decisions I've made.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: itchyfeet on February 17, 2020, 12:19:48 PM
I was just looking for a ďsafeĒish place to vent and chose here. Please feel free to ignore me and move on now. This post is pretty pointless,

I am not sure if I have OMY syndrome but my inability to calmly move toward FIRE is an illness of some kind for sure.

Todayís drama.....

It has been on the radar for a month or so, but it came up again at work again today. I am in pole position to get a very big promotion.... and meanwhile I am going to FIRE this year.

I really want to FIRE, but have this nagging feeling that I should take the promotion to crown my career. 🤴 The promotion would take my career to a height I never imagined possible, nor aspired to achieve.

If I landed the job Iíd feel good very about what Iíd achieved and the extra money in the stash will be used for certain. DW thinks I should take on the challenge of the appointment. She thinks Iíd relish with the pressure and challenges that Iíll face.....

On the other hand I want to FIRE and Iíve saved hard to get to the point where I can. Iíve been chipping away for years to get to this point. At 48 I am not so young, and want to make the absolute most of the next 20 years, and sitting in an office isnít what I spend my nights dreaming about.

There are many pros and cons for either next step which I couldnít be bothered writing here, but I really really hope I donít get the job because I really fear that if offered I will accept the job offer and that will be another 5 years of life life consumed...... 😤
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: mjr on February 17, 2020, 02:29:41 PM
This post isn't pointless, I've been there.

Just imagine how you'll feel after a few months in the new job when the problems need fixing and the novelty wears off.  Your mindset is locked and loaded to get the hell out and having to deal with the responsibilities when you know you can just walk away will be terribly conflicting.

It would be a crowning achievement, I'm sure, but who is really going to care ?  One thing is certain, once you walk away the company continues without you.

As you've said, you have to *want* to do this for the next 5 years.  Anything less and you're selling yourself and the company short.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: eyesonthehorizon on February 17, 2020, 02:44:04 PM
Itchyfeet, that feels pretty familiar. I signed on to help with a work project as sort of a capstone to my career and now I feel like I'm on the hook, even though I'd be able to support myself if I walked out. That said, it sounds like you have been tired of what you were doing, and this offers a compensated out and a challenge that your spouse (who presumably knows you well) thinks you may enjoy.

Would it really take five years to accomplish what you wanted in the seat or are you just afraid you'll anesthetize yourself for that long? What is it you want to get done aside from holding a specific title?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: itchyfeet on February 17, 2020, 09:07:27 PM
As you've said, you have to *want* to do this for the next 5 years.  Anything less and you're selling yourself and the company short.

This really is the key point for me.

The Group CEO has been taking his time to decide who is the person he trusts with this assignment. The company has treated me well these past 15 years. I really donít want to leave on a sour note.

I know my consideration would not be reciprocated by the company but we all have to act by our own standards.

If I take this role I will have to give it my best and it will have to be for a reasonable amount of time. Maybe not 5 years. But I just want to make the decision with the mindset that itís a 5 year decision.

I feel privileged to be in this great situation where I have so many options re: how to craft my life from here on out.

I am a bit of a dreamer and have lots of ideas of things I might do post FIRE.

DW lives in the now. My constant prattling about doing this and that post FIRE is not something DW can engage with. She finds it annoying. She just keeps saying ďI donít want to talk about next year or the year after, we need to work out what we are doing this weekendĒ.

Itís difficult to get her excited about all the possibilities as it is just too intangible for her. If I am going to make major life changes I have to be the one driving those decisions. DW will always opt for minor corrections over throwing out the rule book.

There is no doubt that FIRE is a risk, and there are consequences that will make life pretty uncertain for a while (eg: we will need to move to a cheaper city/ town but have no clear favourite)  but feels to me like a risk worth taking given all that we could do with the additional freedom. I believe we have enough money, to be able to not feel to deprived.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: 2sk22 on February 18, 2020, 03:08:34 AM
On the other hand I want to FIRE and Iíve saved hard to get to the point where I can. Iíve been chipping away for years to get to this point. At 48 I am not so young, and want to make the absolute most of the next 20 years, and sitting in an office isnít what I spend my nights dreaming about.

There are many pros and cons for either next step which I couldnít be bothered writing here, but I really really hope I donít get the job because I really fear that if offered I will accept the job offer and that will be another 5 years of life life consumed...... 😤

As someone in his fifties, I can firmly say that 48 is still young :-)

In any case, what you have is not a classical OMY situation but rather George Costanza's desire to "leave on a high note" (https://youtu.be/h1Y6oAjWgo4) (I was a huge Seinfeld fan :-))

I can relate to this quite well myself. If you look at my posting history you can see where my financial position is. From a purely financial viewpoint,  I could have retired ages ago.

However, I quit a megacorp last year to join a startup precisely to "leave on a high note". If the startup succeeds, I can declare success and quit. If it fails, at least I had fun. Either way, its a much better exit than grindingly slow departure from megacorp.

My suggestion is to take this opportunity if you get it but tell yourself that you have the permission to leave at any time
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on February 18, 2020, 07:34:09 AM
It sounds to me (correct me if I'm wrong), that DW is not onboard with FIRE yet. I say that since I was in her position just a few short years ago.

My DH kept wanting to quit, and my answer was always "What about health care?" He had the job with health benefits and it seemed crazy to stop when the fire hose of cash was coming in. So I kept delaying. We literally could have FIREd over 5 years ago.

I suggested that if he hated this job, try a less stressful one that came with benefits. He didn't want to work indefinitely at a low paying job so our compromise was to keep working until we padded the stash enough to cover worst case health care costs until Medicare age.

Then when we had double what we needed for FIRE and he was ready to quit, I started having major anxiety again (see beginning of this post.)

The amazing posters here talked me off the ledge and we FIREd last August. NO regrets.

My point to this long rambling post is that if DW isn't ready, you need to find out what is holding her back and address that. It may be fear that you don't have enough...or some other fear. One of my fears was not having a clear picture of what I would do with myself. By posting here (and having heart to heart conversations with DH), we figured it out. We may have wasted 5 years doing so, but that was our process.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: itchyfeet on February 18, 2020, 11:08:24 AM
Thanks OMY. There is some truth in what you say.

I donít believe DW believes we never need to work again. I get that. Itís pretty outlandish to think you can stop working 20 years early. DW is only 41.

But as DW has no interest in personal finance, my spreadsheets, the maths etc she just has to take my word for it, or stall. So she is stalling.

I doubt DW could even log on and make a share trade on our brokerage, despite my insistence that she needs to educate herself just in case the worst happens. I have shown her a couple of times. She didnít take notes, 🤞

I would say that DW is not against the idea of us not working, she just canít believe we could be wealthy enough to be in that position and has no means of making her own assessment. She is non-committal more than anti FIRE.

DWís father is 64 and still working, with no imminent retirement date. I think DW will find it embarrassing telling her hard working, self employed father that his lazy, pen pushing son in law has retired before him. This might be a factor as well.

But, with a couple of days of calm to reflect, I am pretty convinced I should FIRE and not sign up for more years of corporate life. Iíve done corporate drone. Iíve done it ok too. Now itís time for me to do something I want to do, rather than something I was fairly good at that paid pretty good.

CFIREsim is confident we will succeed.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: kei te pai on February 18, 2020, 12:07:12 PM
A friend has just died from an aggressive cancer. 3 months from diagnosis until the funeral. For all those here dithering/anguishing over more years building the stash, I would just say to you, if this was to be your last spring, what would you want to be doing?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: xbdb on February 18, 2020, 01:52:10 PM
A friend has just died from an aggressive cancer. 3 months from diagnosis until the funeral. For all those here dithering/anguishing over more years building the stash, I would just say to you, if this was to be your last spring, what would you want to be doing?

THIS. Time is the only currency we have.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: fireonmymind on February 19, 2020, 11:56:52 AM

My point to this long rambling post is that if DW isn't ready, you need to find out what is holding her back and address that. It may be fear that you don't have enough...or some other fear. One of my fears was not having a clear picture of what I would do with myself. By posting here (and having heart to heart conversations with DH), we figured it out. We may have wasted 5 years doing so, but that was our process.

Thanks OMY. There is some truth in what you say.

I donít believe DW believes we never need to work again. I get that. Itís pretty outlandish to think you can stop working 20 years early. DW is only 41.

But as DW has no interest in personal finance, my spreadsheets, the maths etc she just has to take my word for it, or stall. So she is stalling.

I doubt DW could even log on and make a share trade on our brokerage, despite my insistence that she needs to educate herself just in case the worst happens. I have shown her a couple of times. She didnít take notes, 🤞

I would say that DW is not against the idea of us not working, she just canít believe we could be wealthy enough to be in that position and has no means of making her own assessment. She is non-committal more than anti FIRE.

DWís father is 64 and still working, with no imminent retirement date. I think DW will find it embarrassing telling her hard working, self employed father that his lazy, pen pushing son in law has retired before him. This might be a factor as well.

But, with a couple of days of calm to reflect, I am pretty convinced I should FIRE and not sign up for more years of corporate life. Iíve done corporate drone. Iíve done it ok too. Now itís time for me to do something I want to do, rather than something I was fairly good at that paid pretty good.

CFIREsim is confident we will succeed.

itchyfeet, I think your DW is very similar to my DH. No interest at all on numbers. I don't mind taking the lead though since I love spreadsheet like he loves coffee LOL. I'm just worried about him if I happen to leave this world first.

OMY, congrats again. I'm so happy for both of you. Thank you for sharing your journey and advice. Something is holding off my DH and I've tried to find it but haven't been successful yet. It's been a long journey but he's learning to open up more and communicate better nowadays. Right now, I'm working on my fear if I RE first and he still works.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on February 19, 2020, 01:49:44 PM
I had the opposite fear, @fireonmymind. I was concerned that DH would be having lots of fun if he retired without me, and I would be jealous of his free time and I'd become a nag with a honey-do-list. Which is why we jumped at roughly the same time. What are your fears?

Nevermind... just saw your thread...I will go read it!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: deborah on February 19, 2020, 08:09:35 PM
I think it's really important for a couple to be on the same page when retiring - whether they retire at the same time or not. There have been people on this forum who have retired without their SO being on board, and some of them have found themselves divorced. It's not pleasant.

There are many reasons people may not want their spouse to retire. Some have been mentioned above. I worked with a bloke who felt that his SAH wife had nothing in common with him, and that he'd rather work each day than spend time with her. Many SAH spouses have a routine that could be shattered when their spouse retires, so there needs to be time spent figuring out how two people can spend every day in a house that one has occupied. People may be concerned about what they (or their SO) will find to do all day - won't they be bored, or become a couch potato or mess up their beautiful house?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: itchyfeet on February 19, 2020, 08:57:22 PM
I just re-read my last post. I am surprised any body could interpret that gibberish. All those double negatives. Somehow, you guys do seem to have been able to make some sense of it, so thanks.

Deborah, I am sure my DW has fears of what life will be like with me not working 😬. It will be a big change for me to go from 60 hour work weeks + commuting to having all that free time.

None of this is easy, but my suspicion is that it is worthwhile.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: fireonmymind on February 19, 2020, 10:21:33 PM
I had the opposite fear, @fireonmymind. I was concerned that DH would be having lots of fun if he retired without me, and I would be jealous of his free time and I'd become a nag with a honey-do-list. Which is why we jumped at roughly the same time. What are your fears?

Nevermind... just saw your thread...I will go read it!

Ahh i see. I, otoh, am afraid I'll be nagging DH to join me on endless road trips and he'll resent me for not doing all the house chores when we're home. And that is why I prefer we both retire at the same time.
As for him, I think he probably doesn't understand that we actually can downshift and be fine financially. He's great at many things but math is not one of them so I can understand how my spreadsheets can be too intimidating for him.

Now that you've both retired, do you spend more time together? Do you wish you would have retired at different time?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on February 20, 2020, 06:13:02 AM
We definitely spend more time together, but that is evolving as we each figure out what we want to do with our lives. 3-4 days a week one or the other of us is out of the house with their activity (volunteering, socializing, exercising). It's very important to both of us to have separate time. So far we have done all of our traveling together, but that won't always be the case because there will be times when we want to do different things. In the past 6 months we have taken 7 "long weekends" together (which no longer has to happen just on weekends!) and 2 longer trips. And the trips don't have set lengths any more...we can shorten or lengthen a vacation as we desire!

I'm very happy we chose to retire at the same time. My job was very unpredictable and it was very challenging for me to break away for vacation. We are making up for lost time.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: mjr on February 20, 2020, 04:26:54 PM
But, with a couple of days of calm to reflect, I am pretty convinced I should FIRE and not sign up for more years of corporate life. Iíve done corporate drone. Iíve done it ok too. Now itís time for me to do something I want to do, rather than something I was fairly good at that paid pretty good.

Yay !
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Ozlady on February 20, 2020, 08:37:18 PM
Following with interest...

Sadly DH has told me he has been afflicted with the dreaded  "3 year syndrome".....the worst thing was he did not realise he told me the same thing 3 years ago:(((

At the rate we are going, not only are we able to retire now ....heck! the kids can retire at the same time too ! (haha ! kidding!)

But seriously, lately i have had a slight twist of mind...instead of nagging DH to retire, perhaps i should be the one to change my lifestyle...he clearly loves what he does at work...who am i to tell him that his retirement should sync with mine...we are a married couple but we are still our own individuals at the end of the day!

Onwards and forwards!

Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Trifele on February 21, 2020, 05:24:27 AM
Following with interest too.  My DH and I retired three years apart.  Would I have liked to FIRE with him at the same time?  Sure, but our plan was for me to work a bit longer to top up the accounts, and DH would be at home with the kids and renovating the house.  Believe me it wasn't easy to get dressed and go to work every day with DH in his pajamas sipping his coffee on the deck.  But we followed the plan and it worked out.  I agree with @deborah that it's important that both parties be on the same general page about FIRE, even when you don't FIRE together.

I was mildly worried that after I FIREd DH and I would be together TOO much and annoy each other.  But it didn't happen.  It's been all good.  IME, as marital challenges go, FIRE was a very mild one.  Way easier than other life changes, like having kids for example.  We enjoy our time together but we're not in lockstep.  Sometimes we have adventures together and sometimes we go off solo with friends/other family.  FIRE is even better than I thought it would be.  It's freedom.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on February 21, 2020, 06:21:10 AM
I remember being asked in my 20s...what are you saving for? As if you must have a purchase in mind in order to save. I used to get odd looks when I'd say "I'm buying my freedom".
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on March 17, 2020, 09:48:28 AM
So a lot has changed in the past month...

I thought I'd post an update (to document my thoughts as we are watching the spread of covid-19 around the world and in the US.)

My first thought is that I am surprising calm. Very little anxiety. If this had happened a year ago there is no way that we would have FIREd. I'm very happy that we DID retire in August last year. I would not want to be showing homes and worrying about my clients contracts during these crazy times. I'm glad that DH doesn't have to go into a germy office and restaurants for lunch. We can hunker down and self isolate and weather this storm. It will make a dent financially but that will probably work itself out in a year or three. And if the world ends, at least we weren't working until the verylast day.

Even though our financials have taken a big hit (no idea how big - we have decided not to look for awhile since there is nothing we will do differently), I feel like we are in better shape than the vast majority.

I'm so glad we don't have mortgages on our house or rentals. I'm a bit concerned that our rental income (which pays most of our bills) could dry up if my tenants stop getting paid, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Evictions have been halted in my state. It will be scary if my tenants decide to take advantage of this.

One big lesson for me is that there is no way to predict every possible contingency. I used to joke that my contingency plans had contingency plans. I never considered that something like a virus could expose how precarious our economy, health care system, and government are. I'm hopeful that with all of our planning and our frugal natures (and a little luck) we will come through this just fine.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Linea_Norway on March 17, 2020, 10:12:58 AM
Good to hear you are feeling relaxed about it. So do I, as we FIREd at the start of this year.
I think mostly those who are going to FIRE are anxious, but if the market behaves like usual, it will go up eventually.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: itchyfeet on March 17, 2020, 10:38:25 AM
Yes. A lot has changed in a month.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: markbike528CBX on March 17, 2020, 11:55:41 AM
With the certainty of repeating myself --- we told you so :-)

So a lot has changed in the past month...

I thought I'd post an update (to document my thoughts as we are watching the spread of covid-19 around the world and in the US.)

My first thought is that I am surprising calm. Very little anxiety. ........
............we will come through this just fine.
Napping is a wonderful thing! I woke up around 8:30 (at least an hour later than I used to sleep), ate a quick bite, took a long walk with DH, made lunch, worked on a couple of minor house projects, napped for an hour, showered and got ready to meet friends for half price burger night.

A relatively lazy day, but I feel relaxed - not a bit concerned that I didn't accomplish more. I could get used to this.

We told you so :-)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on March 17, 2020, 03:04:04 PM
Yes you did...thank goodness!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on September 20, 2020, 03:32:32 PM
Six months since my last check in. We've been mostly isolating for the past 6 months to keep ourselves out of covid-19's grasp. A bit boring since we aren't traveling or socializing as much as we expected. On the plus side, we haven't spent nearly as much as we budgeted and we've completed several home improvement projects. We have also focused on eating better and exercising a lot more.

Our portfolio mostly recovered - our last calculation indicated that we were a bit down from the high in December but that we had more than when we retired last August. So far both tenants have been paying on time and have jobs that are safe for now.

My biggest concern is what might happen to the ACA with the legendary RBG no longer here to save it. DH or I may get a job with health benefits if things get too wonky, but we're not rushing into that just yet. I'm strongly considering taking a complete break from social media and the daily chaos in the news to improve my mood.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: toocold on September 21, 2020, 07:46:46 AM
I was just looking for a ďsafeĒish place to vent and chose here. Please feel free to ignore me and move on now. This post is pretty pointless,

I am not sure if I have OMY syndrome but my inability to calmly move toward FIRE is an illness of some kind for sure.

Todayís drama.....

It has been on the radar for a month or so, but it came up again at work again today. I am in pole position to get a very big promotion.... and meanwhile I am going to FIRE this year.

I really want to FIRE, but have this nagging feeling that I should take the promotion to crown my career. 🤴 The promotion would take my career to a height I never imagined possible, nor aspired to achieve.

If I landed the job Iíd feel good very about what Iíd achieved and the extra money in the stash will be used for certain. DW thinks I should take on the challenge of the appointment. She thinks Iíd relish with the pressure and challenges that Iíll face.....

On the other hand I want to FIRE and Iíve saved hard to get to the point where I can. Iíve been chipping away for years to get to this point. At 48 I am not so young, and want to make the absolute most of the next 20 years, and sitting in an office isnít what I spend my nights dreaming about.

There are many pros and cons for either next step which I couldnít be bothered writing here, but I really really hope I donít get the job because I really fear that if offered I will accept the job offer and that will be another 5 years of life life consumed...... 😤

Wow - just read this thread and this was exactly my situation 2 years ago.  Hope you chose well. 
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: TomTX on September 21, 2020, 08:26:53 AM
I was just looking for a ďsafeĒish place to vent and chose here. Please feel free to ignore me and move on now. This post is pretty pointless,

I am not sure if I have OMY syndrome but my inability to calmly move toward FIRE is an illness of some kind for sure.

Todayís drama.....

It has been on the radar for a month or so, but it came up again at work again today. I am in pole position to get a very big promotion.... and meanwhile I am going to FIRE this year.

I really want to FIRE, but have this nagging feeling that I should take the promotion to crown my career. 🤴 The promotion would take my career to a height I never imagined possible, nor aspired to achieve.

If I landed the job Iíd feel good very about what Iíd achieved and the extra money in the stash will be used for certain. DW thinks I should take on the challenge of the appointment. She thinks Iíd relish with the pressure and challenges that Iíll face.....

On the other hand I want to FIRE and Iíve saved hard to get to the point where I can. Iíve been chipping away for years to get to this point. At 48 I am not so young, and want to make the absolute most of the next 20 years, and sitting in an office isnít what I spend my nights dreaming about.

There are many pros and cons for either next step which I couldnít be bothered writing here, but I really really hope I donít get the job because I really fear that if offered I will accept the job offer and that will be another 5 years of life life consumed...... 😤

Wow - just read this thread and this was exactly my situation 2 years ago.  Hope you chose well.

An update would be great - it's been more than 6 months, so itchyfeet should be promoted and/or FIREd by now ;)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Life in Balance on September 21, 2020, 11:08:31 AM
I was just looking for a ďsafeĒish place to vent and chose here. Please feel free to ignore me and move on now. This post is pretty pointless,

I am not sure if I have OMY syndrome but my inability to calmly move toward FIRE is an illness of some kind for sure.

Todayís drama.....

It has been on the radar for a month or so, but it came up again at work again today. I am in pole position to get a very big promotion.... and meanwhile I am going to FIRE this year.

I really want to FIRE, but have this nagging feeling that I should take the promotion to crown my career. 🤴 The promotion would take my career to a height I never imagined possible, nor aspired to achieve.

If I landed the job Iíd feel good very about what Iíd achieved and the extra money in the stash will be used for certain. DW thinks I should take on the challenge of the appointment. She thinks Iíd relish with the pressure and challenges that Iíll face.....

On the other hand I want to FIRE and Iíve saved hard to get to the point where I can. Iíve been chipping away for years to get to this point. At 48 I am not so young, and want to make the absolute most of the next 20 years, and sitting in an office isnít what I spend my nights dreaming about.

There are many pros and cons for either next step which I couldnít be bothered writing here, but I really really hope I donít get the job because I really fear that if offered I will accept the job offer and that will be another 5 years of life life consumed...... 😤

Wow - just read this thread and this was exactly my situation 2 years ago.  Hope you chose well.

An update would be great - it's been more than 6 months, so itchyfeet should be promoted and/or FIREd by now ;)

On the 2020 cohort thread, itchyfeet is listed as having accepted a new job, so perhaps they took the promotion?
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: BikeFanatic on September 21, 2020, 03:12:31 PM
OP OMY are you still happy with the decision to fire in light of Covid? Like itchyfeet I have a promotion coming also, and am slogging out OMY, have to decide soon. I re read your thread OMY, I do remember this thread from back in the day. I hope I dont keep slogging away at my job out of fear.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: TomTX on September 21, 2020, 04:26:55 PM
I seriously had excellent timing getting my big promotion a year ago. 20% raise, and fulltime WFH since March (old position would still be going in most of the time) - and the boost to (eventual) pension value will mean I can walk away in ~2 years, presuming the markets are at least flat.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: 4tify on September 22, 2020, 10:04:42 AM
Wow just read this thread. Lots of good info here.

I'm struggling with this as well. My situation is that I'm in a contract until next October, but I'm bored as hell with the job. Before covid19 I had decided to give notice in January and be out by the end of Q1. But now it just seems silly to go through the drama of leaving early when we could easily be on lockdown again. So I'm leaning towards riding out the virus and adding to the stash in the meantime, but boy oh boy am I bored.

Congrats on breaking free Omy. Sounds like you made the right choice :)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on September 22, 2020, 08:01:04 PM
I am very happy we FIREd last year. If we had waited until this past March, I have no doubt we would still be working. With the lockdown and the stock market drop we would have slogged it out a bit longer. If we were still working at this point, we'd be telling ourselves we should wait until after we knew the outcome of the election. Then the excuse would be that we should wait until the SCOTUS decision on the ACA. My concerns would have just kept moving the goal post further away every year until we got sick or died.

We finally realized that we had enough money and that we were smart enough to figure out a Plan B if something catastrophic should happen.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Simpli-Fi on September 23, 2020, 08:23:01 AM
I am very happy we FIREd last year.

<snip >

We finally realized that we had enough money and that we were smart enough to figure out a Plan B if something catastrophic should happen.
This.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: LightTripper on November 13, 2020, 06:32:05 AM
Finally found this thread!  A very interesting read.  So glad you managed to avoid your OMY, OMY, and have been enjoying the fruits of your labours! 
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on November 13, 2020, 09:02:42 AM
Admittedly there were several OMYs before we finally quit (at least 5 "one more years" actually). The plus is that we doubled our net worth in that time which increased our confidence significantly. I regret that we only had about 6 months of goofing off before the pandemic shut us down. We are doing our best to keep our spirits up while significantly limiting our social activities and travel plans.
So far pandemic spending has been WAY less than our projections and we've made good progress in organizing and house maintenance. Looking forward to a post-covid world...but content that we are privileged enough to not have to expose ourselves on a daily basis.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Much Fishing to Do on November 19, 2020, 09:16:29 AM
I am very happy we FIREd last year. If we had waited until this past March, I have no doubt we would still be working. With the lockdown and the stock market drop we would have slogged it out a bit longer. If we were still working at this point, we'd be telling ourselves we should wait until after we knew the outcome of the election. Then the excuse would be that we should wait until the SCOTUS decision on the ACA. My concerns would have just kept moving the goal post further away every year until we got sick or died.

We finally realized that we had enough money and that we were smart enough to figure out a Plan B if something catastrophic should happen.

Yeah, I think I finally realized at some point that the list of possible catastrophes out there more often end up with me dead rather than broke....so encourage an earlier FIRE, not a later one.

And I have never seen any reason to base the decision off of current health care/tax/political policies etc, in the US at least every 2 years could bring something totally different (or bring things back) and that is just not a significant period of time in my planned retirement.

Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on November 21, 2020, 08:40:12 AM
Yes...the Rich, Broke, Dead calculator was an eye opener for me. And DH has always said the same thing about US politics. The other conclusion we came to is that if it's so bad that we're hurting, we will still be in a lot better position than 95% of the population.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on January 02, 2021, 09:53:20 AM
Happy New Year!

Quick update. We just did our end of year net worth calculations and it was much better than expected. The stock market has been kind to us and our renters have been paying consistently (knock on wood that both continue). We did our first Roth conversion this year since we had so little income that it made sense to get some of our IRA money taxed at the 12% rate.

2021 will be our first year with ACA subsidies (assuming we can keep our MAGI under the cap). Our health insurance costs should be less than a third of what our COBRA costs were. If we have a windfall and MAGI  goes over the cap, our costs will be similar to last year's COBRA...so still manageable.

I'm still bored from being in self-imposed covid jail. Looking forward to getting vaccinated as soon as my turn comes up. Until then I will attempt to be productive at house projects, financial optimization, and health and exercise goals...and lots of binge watching of old tv series.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: 2sk22 on January 03, 2021, 02:50:32 AM
@Omy Thanks for this update - this thread was one of the main influences in hastening my retirement!
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: chasesfish on January 03, 2021, 06:36:54 AM
I loved seeing the update OMY.

I end up having similar thoughts on the health insurance, we're married with no kids and either will fill up the 12% tax bracket and pay full price, or let our income be in the range of $65,000 and pickup a tax credit worth around $3,000 towards health insurance.

One neat thing we've figured out is with some self employment income, those premiums become an above the line tax deduction.  We're picking up at least $1,000 in easy gig work to stay active (mainly shopping high dollar Costco orders for Instacart)
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: terran on January 03, 2021, 07:48:13 AM
One neat thing we've figured out is with some self employment income, those premiums become an above the line tax deduction.  We're picking up at least $1,000 in easy gig work to stay active (mainly shopping high dollar Costco orders for Instacart)

Something to keep in mind, the deduction is limited to the amount of the self employment income less the SE tax deduction or the cost of health insurance (whichever is less), so you don't instantly get to deduct the whole cost of health insurance as soon as you have any self employment income.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on January 03, 2021, 09:03:54 AM
You can also consider contributing (a lot) to a Solo 401k if it looks like your self employed income is going to break through the ACA subsidy cap. It's crazy how much you can contribute to that to reduce MAGI. We are also planning to do some improvements to the rentals in 2021 to help keep us under the subsidy cap.

@Omy Thanks for this update - this thread was one of the main influences in hastening my retirement!

Starting this thread helped me SO much in my FIRE journey. I'm happy that it has helped others as well.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Mrs. Healthywealth on January 11, 2021, 09:52:53 PM
Six months since my last check in. We've been mostly isolating for the past 6 months to keep ourselves out of covid-19's grasp. A bit boring since we aren't traveling or socializing as much as we expected. On the plus side, we haven't spent nearly as much as we budgeted and we've completed several home improvement projects. We have also focused on eating better and exercising a lot more.

Our portfolio mostly recovered - our last calculation indicated that we were a bit down from the high in December but that we had more than when we retired last August. So far both tenants have been paying on time and have jobs that are safe for now.

My biggest concern is what might happen to the ACA with the legendary RBG no longer here to save it. DH or I may get a job with health benefits if things get too wonky, but we're not rushing into that just yet. I'm strongly considering taking a complete break from social media and the daily chaos in the news to improve my mood.

Appreciate you sharing so much about your journey. Think ACA will be ok given the current political climate we are entering. Hope things open up soon so you can enjoy your freedom; not meeting up with friends and traveling is a tough one. Once things open up, thatís when we will most likely FIRE. Look forward to hearing how youíre adjusting a year later.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: Omy on February 26, 2021, 03:13:19 PM
Almost 2 months since my last update so I'm checking in. We have been FIREd for 18 months. A year ago we had just come home from a road trip to visit family before the world came to a stop. I had a lot of anxiety in March of 2020 about the stock market, whether our tenants would be able to keep their jobs and keep paying rent, and where I was going to find toilet paper and cheese since the shelves were bare for 2 months and our supply was dwindling. A lot has changed in a year. I woke up this morning feeling optimistic that life might return to normal fairly soon with covid cases falling. I can't wait to be eligible for the vaccine so we can feel confident about traveling and socializing again.

While I've been a bit whiny at times about our self-imposed covid jail, I realize how fortunate we are to live in a lovely home with more than enough space to spread out. We have taken lots of walks and worked on our exercise goals. I was forced to become a MUCH better cook because we never eat out - which has made us healthier and wealthier. Since the pandemic started, we've been donating monthly to a local food pantry because we have so much more than we need.

That's all for now. Thanks for all of your support - this forum has definitely fueled my optimism.
Title: Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
Post by: LightTripper on February 26, 2021, 03:17:54 PM
That's a lovely update!  So glad you can feel the optimism returning.  I can too (though still fundamentally an anxious person).  It's amazing what scientific awesomeness and some sunshine can do!