Author Topic: Q: Do non-FIRE, but well-off friends brag about their net worth/income to you?  (Read 3107 times)

EndlessJourney

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We stopped working over a decade ago and made no secret about it, since we just dropped everything and just went traveling full-time.

I have a couple of friends who, when we get together, *LOVE* telling me, in intimate detail, how much they make and what their net worth is. Based on what they are telling me, they could probably retire right now, but because they are spendy (and happy doing it), they choose to keep on working.

It's kind of uncomfortable, because I don't like talking about our finances. Or money in general. I just nod my head and congratulate them on their success, but don't reciprocate with any of our own details. It's become a frequent topic of conversation, almost like they are seeking me out to update me on how well they are doing. I never initiate any financial conversations with them, or anyone, for that matter.

I've gathered that they normally wouldn't share this level of financial detail with anyone else but me.

I can't determine if it's either bragging or insecurity being around me? Are they seeking validation (which I'm always congratulatory)? Or maybe they are hoping for me to share the same with them? I can't figure it out. It feels like I've become a lightning rod for celebrating financial success - "Look how well *WE'RE ALL* doing!"

Anyone else experience the same?
« Last Edit: November 20, 2021, 08:57:05 AM by EndlessJourney »

Rdy2Fire

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Absolutely! I know a few people, I'd say more acquaintances then friends but they feel this need to talk about $$, income, new car lease etc. Most of them do pretty/very well but most are also over extended on everything. In the conversations there is always a how do you get by? Are you looking for work?

Only a couple of people in my life really know/understand my situation and numbers are never really discussed. Those people are my friends, all they care about if that I am ok and happy.

maizefolk

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I've gathered that they normally wouldn't share this level of financial detail with anyone else but me.

I can't determine if it's either bragging or insecurity being around me? Are they seeking validation (which I'm always congratulatory)? Or maybe they are hoping for me to share the same with them? I can't figure it out. It feels like I've become a lightning rod for celebrating financial success - "Look how well *WE'RE ALL* doing!"

One of the functions this forum serves for a lot of members is that it provides a place to talk about and celebrate net worth (and to a lesser extent salary) milestones that are frequently considered rude or at least inadvisable to talk about in person.

Since you said they don't share this level of financial detail with other people in their lives my guess is that it's not insecurity. Is there something in your past which has made you their one safe friend to talk about finances with?

terran

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They might figure you're safe to share with because you must have plenty of money since you don't work. Or they might be trying to validate their own decision to continue working despite being jealous that you don't work. The more generous interpretation of both of those would be that they're trying to bond with you over something you have in common (great financial success that allows you to pursue your dreams) despite big differences (the dreams you've chosen to pursue). Those are my guesses.

BTW, I've missed your photoblogs. I hope you're doing well!

GreenSheep

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Maybe it's a little bit of all of that? Maybe they feel insecure, knowing that you're doing well, so they feel the need to brag about their financial situation, and at the same time maybe they're dying to know just exactly how well off you are. Do they consider you closer friends than anyone else you know, or do you think the reason they're sharing is because of your financial "status"? I mean, maybe they would share financial stuff with you anyway, just because they know you so well and feel comfortable... or maybe they feel like you're the only one you know who's on the same page.

I have a handful of acquaintances who do this with political stuff. They make their views known, and they seem to suspect that I disagree, but I don't take the bait... which seems to frustrate them, because they keep bringing this stuff up and I keep sidestepping it. It's like they're looking for an argument or at least a debate, which is not something I enjoy.

It might be time to make your response a little more direct. You could just say that you're happy for them, it's great that they're happy with where they are, and that you prefer not to discuss the specifics of your own finances... but hey, isn't this a great restaurant/beer/weather/whatever unrelated topic comes to mind? Or if they're REALLY good friends, you could just ask them, nicely, why they keep bringing this up and what they hope to gain from the conversation.

Morning Glory

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I've gathered that they normally wouldn't share this level of financial detail with anyone else but me.

I can't determine if it's either bragging or insecurity being around me? Are they seeking validation (which I'm always congratulatory)? Or maybe they are hoping for me to share the same with them? I can't figure it out. It feels like I've become a lightning rod for celebrating financial success - "Look how well *WE'RE ALL* doing!"

One of the functions this forum serves for a lot of members is that it provides a place to talk about and celebrate net worth (and to a lesser extent salary) milestones that are frequently considered rude or at least inadvisable to talk about in person.

Since you said they don't share this level of financial detail with other people in their lives my guess is that it's not insecurity. Is there something in your past which has made you their one safe friend to talk about finances with?

This was my first thought too. You could invite them to the forum so they have a better place to discuss this stuff.

EndlessJourney

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Since you said they don't share this level of financial detail with other people in their lives my guess is that it's not insecurity. Is there something in your past which has made you their one safe friend to talk about finances with?

I think we're very good listeners. But the position that we're in seems to invite further discussion, that they normally wouldn't have with others not in the same set of circumstances.

Another example is that we are intentionally child-free. And apparently this makes us special confidantes for all the parents who tell us in private:

"I love my kids and everything... BUT... If I had known then, what I know now, I probably wouldn't have chosen to have kids. I've never told anyone else this but you, but because you've chosen not to have children, I feel safe confiding this in you because I know I won't be judged and crucified by my other friends who are parents."

This is a conversation I've had with *many* of our friends with kids. It feels like the exact same kind of conversation as the finance discussion.

EndlessJourney

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BTW, I've missed your photoblogs. I hope you're doing well!

Oh thanks! I've made it a resolution to try to update our blog over this winter. We're behind quite a number of years! :(

EndlessJourney

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Do they consider you closer friends than anyone else you know, or do you think the reason they're sharing is because of your financial "status"? I mean, maybe they would share financial stuff with you anyway, just because they know you so well and feel comfortable... or maybe they feel like you're the only one you know who's on the same page.

Yeah, I think it's the latter. It feels like I'm the one safe person they know who *won't* think they're bragging, so maybe it feels nice to share with someone who's not going to respond with envy or resentment?

If that's the case, it's fine, I'll let them get it off their chests if it makes them feel better to have someone to confide in. That's part of being a good friend too, right?

I have a handful of acquaintances who do this with political stuff. They make their views known, and they seem to suspect that I disagree, but I don't take the bait... which seems to frustrate them, because they keep bringing this stuff up and I keep sidestepping it. It's like they're looking for an argument or at least a debate, which is not something I enjoy.

Yeah, that's annoying too. I don't like debating with friends about things like that. I have a lot of friends with very different political views than me. The reason why they are still friends is that we don't discuss that stuff.

It might be time to make your response a little more direct. You could just say that you're happy for them, it's great that they're happy with where they are, and that you prefer not to discuss the specifics of your own finances... but hey, isn't this a great restaurant/beer/weather/whatever unrelated topic comes to mind? Or if they're REALLY good friends, you could just ask them, nicely, why they keep bringing this up and what they hope to gain from the conversation.

Oh no, they never come right out and ask us, "So... now you know all about our sitch, what's the deal with *you guys*?"

Yeah, that would grounds for a swift "MYOB!"

I just get a sense that they really want to talk about this stuff, but don't have anyone else in their lives who they can share this with.

Just wondered if anyone else on this forum had the same experiences?

Or maybe you guys on here *LIKE* talking about this stuff...

EndlessJourney

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This was my first thought too. You could invite them to the forum so they have a better place to discuss this stuff.

It may not be a good fit. They are not even remotely close to being Mustachian.

They like making big money... and spending big money as well...

GreenSheep

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Or maybe you guys on here *LIKE* talking about this stuff...

I don't like talking about swimming through my room full of gold coins, but I do enjoy talking about good deals I've found, discounts I've gotten, etc. I guess that's more the "how" than the "how much." I do choose my audience carefully for those things, too, though. Some people just don't care about a sale on pasta, and some people would be appalled to know that the amount I *saved* on my couch is more than they could afford to pay for the entire thing. So I might skip the story altogether, or I might leave out the exact amount I saved if it was large.

These things are obviously more fun if the person I'm talking to has an opportunity to get the same savings -- the sale is still going on and it's a product they like, too, or I have a coupon code to share, etc.

Morning Glory

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This was my first thought too. You could invite them to the forum so they have a better place to discuss this stuff.

It may not be a good fit. They are not even remotely close to being Mustachian.

They like making big money... and spending big money as well...

There are a ton of those types around here. This place has gotten soft :P

okits

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I just get a sense that they really want to talk about this stuff, but don't have anyone else in their lives who they can share this with.

Just wondered if anyone else on this forum had the same experiences?

Only with pretty close friends and yeah, combination of needing someone to talk to who is also a safe confidant (i.e. doing well enough themselves there's no discomfort from a big wealth disparity).

If you don't mind being a listening ear that's a nice, supportive thing to do as a friend.

Morning Glory

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I just get a sense that they really want to talk about this stuff, but don't have anyone else in their lives who they can share this with.

Just wondered if anyone else on this forum had the same experiences?

Only with pretty close friends and yeah, combination of needing someone to talk to who is also a safe confidant (i.e. doing well enough themselves there's no discomfort from a big wealth disparity).

If you don't mind being a listening ear that's a nice, supportive thing to do as a friend.

I only talk about this stuff on the forum. I've told my mom and little brother that I'm retiring early but not exact amounts. With other friends/family I've just said that I have enough savings that I can take a break before looking for a job. There's actually a ton of non-money stuff that I also only talk about on the forum. I think once the taboo of talking about money is broken, then it's easier to talk about all the other things.

maizefolk

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I have one person I have told amount a major milestone because we’ve known each other since were were teenagers and come from such different backgrounds a major milestone for me was no big deal for them.

Other than that I don’t have ANYONE I can talk to in person about the idea of retiring early or the mechanics/emotional impact of doing so or just the weirdness of having a significant amount of money.

It seems very reasonable someone might accidentally go overboard being happy they had a friend they thought it was okay to talk to about this stuff.

Blackeagle

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I certainly understand the desire to be circumspect about this subject.  I've often done the same myself.  That said, I can't help but think that the world would be a better place if we were more willing to talk about financial matters. Everything from salary inequities to early retirement would be more accessible to people if we were only willing to talk about this stuff, 

Morning Glory

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I certainly understand the desire to be circumspect about this subject.  I've often done the same myself.  That said, I can't help but think that the world would be a better place if we were more willing to talk about financial matters. Everything from salary inequities to early retirement would be more accessible to people if we were only willing to talk about this stuff,

Agree: I think BGR did a nice post a while back on how sharing salary information among colleagues would go a long way toward closing the gender pay gap

Omy

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I have a couple close friends who are FIRED or getting close. We share deals and talk about ACA and Roth conversions and other financial stuff that nobody else seems to care about. We talk generically about what we have.

I've told them our paid off rentals cover most of our expenses and our stock portfolio covers the fun stuff. They seem content with my somewhat vague description and they share similarly vague info. I'd probably be fine giving more exact numbers but wouldn't volunteer unless they asked.

I also know approximately what both of our parents' have in net worth. I've shared my numbers with my parent, but DH has not shared numbers with anybody in his family.

spartana

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Most I know like to talk a lot about the expensive stuff they bought or did (or plan to buy or do) rather then hard salary or savings numbers. Most plan to continue working as long as possible to fund a high expense lifestyle to have ALL THE THINGS and it seems most save the standard 10%. Given that that this is coastal SoCal and very HCOL as well as very "high end" focused it can be draining to me. I rarely talk about FIRE or money and most figure I'm poor (or weird) because I don't aspire to have "nicer" things or high standard of living they have. The number one comments I get are "Spartana, if you just went back to work you could have XYZ fancy things". Sigh...

In your case @EndlessJourney I'm not sure if it's just their way to talk about how well they are doing or just a conversational piece about money in general. I can't remember anyone I know IRL who were open about their saving or income but some (too many) like to talk about investments and how much they spend.

ETA that others in this thread have suggested that maybe they want to talk to you because they feel you are wealthy because you don't work and thus on financial par with them. However in my experience unless you are living a similar lifestyle as them  (maybe the clown house and car, luxury vacations and entertainment, fine dining, designer clothes, a new moto ever year, etc) they may actually assume you are a poor dirt bagger moto-bum barely getting by. I mean who would travel "like that" unless they had no other choice. Camping instead of nice hotels? Who does that except the poor's ;-).

Glad to see you posting again!
« Last Edit: November 21, 2021, 10:44:16 AM by spartana »

Financial.Velociraptor

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Most I know like to talk a lot about the expensive stuff they bought or did (or plan to buy or do) rather then hard salary or savings numbers. Most plan to continue working as long as possible to fund a high expense lifestyle to have ALL THE THINGS and it seems most save the standard 10%. Given that that this is coastal SoCal and very HCOL as well as very "high end" focused it can be draining to me. I rarely talk about FIRE or money and most figure I'm poor (or weird) because I don't aspire to have "nicer" things or high standard of living they have. The number one comments I get are "Spartana, if you just went back to work you could have XYZ fancy things". Sigh...

This is what I get minus the HCOL area.  The most common is "if you went back to work, you could trade in the Cavalier on a new BMW or Mercedes."  That Cav is the best car I've ever owned.  It's paid for.  And I intend to run it into the ground.  I think it is mostly cognitive dissonance and not anything obnoxious.  I was always "weird".  Now I'm at peace with being different.

ixtap

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Most I know like to talk a lot about the expensive stuff they bought or did (or plan to buy or do) rather then hard salary or savings numbers. Most plan to continue working as long as possible to fund a high expense lifestyle to have ALL THE THINGS and it seems most save the standard 10%. Given that that this is coastal SoCal and very HCOL as well as very "high end" focused it can be draining to me. I rarely talk about FIRE or money and most figure I'm poor (or weird) because I don't aspire to have "nicer" things or high standard of living they have. The number one comments I get are "Spartana, if you just went back to work you could have XYZ fancy things". Sigh...

This is what I get minus the HCOL area.  The most common is "if you went back to work, you could trade in the Cavalier on a new BMW or Mercedes."  That Cav is the best car I've ever owned.  It's paid for.  And I intend to run it into the ground.  I think it is mostly cognitive dissonance and not anything obnoxious.  I was always "weird".  Now I'm at peace with being different.

We know a small handful of people who actually believe they have enough. Most offer advice and seem convinced we are a bit stretched. One couple recognizes that they probably worked too hard to get what they have and are working as hard at giving it away as they are at spending it. Just about everyone thinks we are crazy, but like others have said, we have each gotten a lot of that over our lives.

Morning Glory

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At one of my prior workplaces I was known as the person who understood all the benefit plans and could help people sign up. This sometimes led to some investment discussions, but no exact numbers. The funniest was when someone asked what a bank routing number was, and I asked her if she went to the nameofemployer credit union and she nodded and I rattled off the actual number. I also got excited one day and wanted to tell everyone about a change in the state tax code to offer a deduction for 529 contributions, that was a bit awkward.

I've also had people want to talk about Dave Ramsey-style debt payoff and student loan forgiveness programs, and I always feel a bit awkward saying that I don't have any debt.

Pootie22

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This is what I get minus the HCOL area.  The most common is "if you went back to work, you could trade in the Cavalier on a new BMW or Mercedes."  That Cav is the best car I've ever owned.  It's paid for.  And I intend to run it into the ground.  I think it is mostly cognitive dissonance and not anything obnoxious.  I was always "weird".  Now I'm at peace with being different.

You should trying flipping this around back at them - "If you get rid of your BMW, you could take every Monday off work for the rest of your life!" lol

samanil

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Another example is that we are intentionally child-free. And apparently this makes us special confidantes for all the parents who tell us in private:

"I love my kids and everything... BUT... If I had known then, what I know now, I probably wouldn't have chosen to have kids. I've never told anyone else this but you, but because you've chosen not to have children, I feel safe confiding this in you because I know I won't be judged and crucified by my other friends who are parents."

This is a conversation I've had with *many* of our friends with kids. It feels like the exact same kind of conversation as the finance discussion.

That's very interesting, and educational. If I may ask, how many of your friends have confided this in you?

ixtap

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Interesting, we just get told we are lucky for not having kids. Good thing we weren't trying, but the folks who tell us this don't know that!

EndlessJourney

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Another example is that we are intentionally child-free. And apparently this makes us special confidantes for all the parents who tell us in private:

"I love my kids and everything... BUT... If I had known then, what I know now, I probably wouldn't have chosen to have kids. I've never told anyone else this but you, but because you've chosen not to have children, I feel safe confiding this in you because I know I won't be judged and crucified by my other friends who are parents."

This is a conversation I've had with *many* of our friends with kids. It feels like the exact same kind of conversation as the finance discussion.

That's very interesting, and educational. If I may ask, how many of your friends have confided this in you?

Not too many compared to the overall number of friends. 10%?

I think many parents don't mind the default script that they were handed. The one that read, "Go to school, get a job, get married, have kids."

It's only the parents that didn't know that there were other options that regretted it later on when they found out that they didn't *have* to have kids. The older you are, the less you question the script.

There seem to be a lot more young people now deciding to be child-free, it's a much more acceptable life path these days, with lots of role models and blueprints.

EndlessJourney

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You should trying flipping this around back at them - "If you get rid of your BMW, you could take every Monday off work for the rest of your life!" lol

This is a lifestyle choice that is entirely personality-dependent.

For most people on this forum, giving up material possessions to trade for more free time is a no-brainer.

But there are many people out there that like working, making money and spending money.

Just because you don't personally agree, doesn't make them wrong.

boarder42

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You should trying flipping this around back at them - "If you get rid of your BMW, you could take every Monday off work for the rest of your life!" lol

This is a lifestyle choice that is entirely personality-dependent.

For most people on this forum, giving up material possessions to trade for more free time is a no-brainer.

But there are many people out there that like working, making money and spending money.

Just because you don't personally agree, doesn't make them wrong.

if someone is going to make one point you can always make the counterpoint to a different lifestyle.  And I don't think its a personality trait as much as its a societal norm difference.  Working more to buy more stuff is a norm.  Flipping the script on someone to make them rethink the decision in different terms could spark great conversation. 

Just because its the norm to work and make money and spend it all doesn't mean people shouldn't be made aware of a different path b/c in my experience teaching classes on this many many people are grateful just to have gotten this information b/c its not easy to find and we live in a sea on consumerism telling you how to spend not save and invest.

And that point about taking monday's off is a super fun way to put it that people can quickly relate to IMO.

Car Jack

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I can only think of one time in 40 years of working where a co-worker once asked me something like "I've got $300k in my 401k.....don't you have that much?".

I mistakenly sort of bragged in a situation.  I was selling firewood to a guy.  I sell it as "you come load it into your own truck" at a discounted price.  Most guys have pickups and buy a cord of wood, so need to come back several times to get it all.  One guy, I had been talking with.  Mostly about our love of Husqvarna chain saws and such.  He had what I'd call a medium pickup....not new, not wicked old.  I didn't realize he was back already to pick up the last amount and I needed to bring my son somewhere and we decided to take my Lotus.  I stopped to say hi to him on the way out and he had a very surprised reaction looking at the car.  Of course about 2% of the population know what an Elise is and most people think it's worth 8 times what it is. 

But I've never had anyone saying they made this much or had that much saved.  Heck....even my mom has no idea what we have.  My wife does and that's it.

flyingaway

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Yes. I had some friend bragged about his stock picks a few weeks ago. He is a few years older than me and invests his IRA money in leveraged ETFs and other individual stocks. Of course, he did well recently. He also showed me his total amount of about $1.5M.

I just smiled and congratulated him. I do not play with any individual stocks, but only have a typical three-fund portfolio.

lilkidjesus

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I've been telling all of my friends about my plan to retire young by boringly amassing a perpetuity since high school. So most of my longtime friends feel comfortable talking to me about their situations in detail. We know one another's salaries and share negotiating advise and help network for each other.

However, when you have been as outspoken as I have about your lack of desire to buy nice cars, electronics, and plastic crap from Wal-Mart for over 15 years, your friends derive no pleasure from bragging about their financial situations or their recent purchases with you.

We have a Finance Club at work where people talk about NFTs, crypto, and the like, and there is a lot of boasting, but I have the reputation there of being the "boring one", which I legitimately wear as a badge of pride. The most interesting thing in such forums as that to me is: it is seemingly more profane to brag about how little one spends than to brag about how much one made on an investment, has saved, or has spent on a purchase.

SwordGuy

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This was my first thought too. You could invite them to the forum so they have a better place to discuss this stuff.

It may not be a good fit. They are not even remotely close to being Mustachian.

They like making big money... and spending big money as well...

Sometimes people don't realize there's another option.

I had ZERO idea that FIRE was possible.   They may think you have way more money and that's what enables you to do your traveling lifestyle because they don't understand there's another path based on less spending.

iris lily

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Now that I am old, I will talk about our finances with most anyone because it just doesn’t matter at this point. I’m old. Who cares?  We’re a good example of being  very frugal for decades, and now we have money to spend as we choose.

Is it bragging? I suppose yes. Depends on how someone views it.

If someone is clearly struggling and without funds, I wouldn’t talk about our assets other than to say something like “we have extra money this month to do X” when in reality we have extra money every day week or month to do whatever we want.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2021, 11:59:28 AM by iris lily »

FLBiker

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I tend to be pretty open about this stuff.  Whenever new folks would join my department, I'd offer to talk through the retirement options with them.  I did the same thing with my brother and sister.  That being said, I feel like in the vast majority of cases, people aren't interested.  I worked in academia, and it was really shocking to me how many "smart" people would kind of plug their ears and just "la-la-la I'm not listening" after a minute or two of me explaining their retirement options.  It's funny -- the closest analog I have found is denial about addiction (I'm in recovery).

To put it another way, I'm good with computers, and folks know that, so I've been asked at various points to help get a virus off a friend of a friend's computer, etc.  With financial stuff, though, very few people ask, and as soon as I start to answer, they seem to change their mind -- it's like, forget it, I'd rather not know how any of this stuff works and just keep doing what I've been doing.

Folks don't typically brag to me about spendy lifestyles -- I think it's pretty obvious that would be wasted on me.  I'm totally open to folks bragging about their savings rates, though. :)

MustacheAndaHalf

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If a friend shares their NW in the millions, could you ask them when they plan to retire?  (And very likely follow up with "Why the delay?")

Are there activities you'd like to do with these friends, but they can't take the time off work?  That might be the easier way to bring it up - what you can do together once they retire.

spartana

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This is what I get minus the HCOL area.  The most common is "if you went back to work, you could trade in the Cavalier on a new BMW or Mercedes."  That Cav is the best car I've ever owned.  It's paid for.  And I intend to run it into the ground.  I think it is mostly cognitive dissonance and not anything obnoxious.  I was always "weird".  Now I'm at peace with being different.

You should trying flipping this around back at them - "If you get rid of your BMW, you could take every Monday off work for the rest of your life!" lol
I've tried this I don't know how many times but the response is almost universally "oh no I couldn't live like you and give up XYZ fancy material things to retire early!" I usually do this with people who are complaining about their job or not having enough free time but the message isn't well received at all. I'm sure most of @EndlessJourney friends follow his blog (everyone should check it out as it is awesome) so if that doesn't inspire or motivate them to look at FIRE for themselves probably nothing will. Even if no one aspires to that particular lifestyle it still seems most people don't want to give up their expensive crap generally want more and are willing to continue working long and hard for it.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2021, 10:49:45 AM by spartana »

Loren Ver

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No, but i don't really have any braggy friends in general.  They share successes (getting married, having baby, running 5k, getting promotion) but that is all just normal stuff for which we like to celebrate with them.

Now that I am FIREd I do have people ask for varying levels of advice since I apparently know what I am doing.  It ranges from simple budgeting strategies to pay off credit cards and live within means to set up investments to retire early.  It's lovely.

I don't share most of our specifics, everything can be discussed in terms of percents or overarching ideas.  Sometimes the ones I am coaching show me all the numbers, that's fine, we build the spreadsheet together to get them up and running.  My numbers are irrelevant.  Sometimes I share what we spend on groceries or utilities, to help if their spending is really odd and they need a counterexample.   

I think it is good for people to talk about these things.  Finding a trusted someone to talk money with is so important.  Many people also aren't great communicators so they might start off in a way that puts them on high ground (bragging) to feel you out.  It doesn't mean they are fishing for your details, just figuring out if you are good for a chat.  Or maybe they are fishing for details, some people are nosy and gossips :). 

Loren

Cassie

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I find it sad that some of your friends regret having kids. It’s a big decision that requires thought before proceeding. I own a small 2 bedroom condo that I love. I joined some senior single meetup groups and most can’t imagine living in 855sq ft even though they live alone.

soccerluvof4

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Over the years I have run across several friends/acquaintances that make it sound like there keeping it between you and them not only their spending habits but there NW etc.. I just pretty much smile and say awesome. I think its a combination of they need to justify their spending as well as feel impressive like its their identity. I have never had anyone ask me my NW or anything in regards to that BUT if and when they ask me when I retired and how great that must be...I typically respond " Yea its great, We didnt retire rich and probably could of retired with more but decided going a 7 years ago to give it a shot and go from there. That usually handles any further conversation and most will say 'Well we all could do things better" or something to that. Its just amazing to me how some people have to use like Social media or even face to face tell you every single thing they do in life making it like there living the high life whether they can afford it or not. Some would say thats just jealousy on my part but its just bragging anyway you look at it and end of day i am content with what I can do being fire'd so its not impressive in anyway.

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This was my first thought too. You could invite them to the forum so they have a better place to discuss this stuff.

It may not be a good fit. They are not even remotely close to being Mustachian.

They like making big money... and spending big money as well...

FATFIRE Facebook group might be a good fit for them.

Much Fishing to Do

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I met up with one old friend for a long meal and what she and her partner were making (and even more what they were spending on stuff) was the constant topic.  It got old really fast.  I guess the fact those two hours REALLY stand out to me means that I don't have other friends like that.  I only really have one friend I even remotely talk income/networth/savings with (and the absolute numbers are even left somewhat vague) and thats b/c we know we're both extreme irregular income flows and so can actually share ideas on our abnormal finances that is helpful to each other.

solon

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We have some friends that just hit $1million in net worth. They told us the other day in private, before the rest of the gang showed up. I made the sign of the touchdown and helped them celebrate a little; my wife cheered. But they don't talk about it with other people, and they don't really talk about it with us much.

They're still employed. Both of them have worked at Walmart their entire lives. They are a cashier and and asst. deli manager so I don't think they have ever made more than $100k a year, combined. They're kind of an inspiration for us. Now I just need to figure out how to convince them to retire.

boarder42

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We have some friends that just hit $1million in net worth. They told us the other day in private, before the rest of the gang showed up. I made the sign of the touchdown and helped them celebrate a little; my wife cheered. But they don't talk about it with other people, and they don't really talk about it with us much.

They're still employed. Both of them have worked at Walmart their entire lives. They are a cashier and and asst. deli manager so I don't think they have ever made more than $100k a year, combined. They're kind of an inspiration for us. Now I just need to figure out how to convince them to retire.

thats blog worthy stories for the FIRE community to get everyone away from the "you have to be a rich tech bro to do this"