Author Topic: FIREd three weeks ago ... question  (Read 8014 times)

Bolshevik Artizan

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FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« on: January 11, 2016, 12:09:53 PM »
FIREd after 23 years at the coalface, never really liked the job, three weeks ago. Anyone got any thoughts as to how long I should give myself to take stock, if any time at all...

right now I am full time carer for our four year old but in a couple of weeks he will be in daycare. My own feeling is to take another few weeks just working out and hanging out before considering my next move. Some on here have said it will take months to get your head straight after so long in the cubicle.

Any views from others based on their experience would be appreciated!

Thanks 


BA

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2016, 01:10:58 PM »
Congratulations! :D

If you weren't totally burnt out and/or in a hostile work situation, then a month or two probably would be a good decompression time. Most folks I've read about are either ready to get on with the rest of their life right out of the gate, or just need a month or two and then are raring to go.

If you did have a toxic work environment (I did), it can take you a very long time. I'm just now starting to feel like I might be ready to think about future plans at 10-ish months out. It may be the summer before I feel completely detoxed. I still have the occasional work nightmare and wake up in a blind panic, but thank dog those are rare now (I think the start of the year triggered a few of those old panic feelings).

If you haven't read his blog yet, check out Dr. Doom's "Living a FI" here: http://livingafi.com/
It's a wonderfully thoughtful and entertaining progression with lots of great info along the way.

But do want to add... there is no right way to do this. You are a unique individual, so what works for someone else isn't necessarily what you should be using as your yardstick. You do what you want to do, at the pace you're comfortable with. After all, the big part of FIRE is freedom to do what you'd like with your time. :)

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2016, 04:19:40 PM »
My head was more or less straight after about 6 weeks.  But the full force of reality didn't finish settling in until about the six month mark.  Recommend not making any (additional) major life changing decisions until the six month  mark.

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2016, 04:23:01 PM »
^+1. I think its more of a case by case situation. I am going on 8 months and I still have my days but there becoming fewer as I seem to get busier and busier. But i would call the 6 month time when things/ the adjustment really was feeling right.

Tyler

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2016, 04:35:30 PM »
Yep.  6 months was about right for me as well.  Ditch the arbitrary schedule and relax for a while.  You earned it!

« Last Edit: January 11, 2016, 04:37:32 PM by Tyler »

Bolshevik Artizan

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2016, 05:49:00 PM »
Congratulations! :D

If you weren't totally burnt out and/or in a hostile work situation, then a month or two probably would be a good decompression time. Most folks I've read about are either ready to get on with the rest of their life right out of the gate, or just need a month or two and then are raring to go.

But do want to add... there is no right way to do this. You are a unique individual, so what works for someone else isn't necessarily what you should be using as your yardstick. You do what you want to do, at the pace you're comfortable with. After all, the big part of FIRE is freedom to do what you'd like with your time. :)

Thanks very much! FWIW yes it was a toxic work environment, very, and had started to affect my health. Thanks also to everyone else who responded: sounds like I will take six months, then re-assess. We have also moved Province in Canada so we will buy a house in the next six months and that might involve a renovation...

I appreciate all the comments.

Bolschewik


Bolshevik Artizan

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2016, 10:10:11 PM »
I'm almost 7 months in and still struggling to get my bearings -- but I'm dealing with a lot of excess baggage that most newly FIREd people aren't lugging around (details are all in my journal, if you want the back story). 

One thing that does help me a lot is to have a routine, more or less, that includes daily or nearly daily physical activity.  The main way I do this is to head straight to the gym after dropping my son off at school.  I would probably do better overall if I also had a concrete time/place for some sort of intellectual work.  I'm still wasting much more time than I should be on the internet (mainly here, as my post count shows)

The renovation will be a good project to keep you busy/physically active.

Do spend as much time as you can with your DS.  They grow up so fast and time with them is so special.

excellent advice - thank you!!


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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2016, 02:40:47 AM »
Take your time.  Enjoy each day.

You'll find what's right for you.  :)

Here's another thread on decompression time for some more perspectives:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/decompression-time-post-fire/
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YeahNo

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2016, 03:37:34 PM »
I'm at 2 years right now so I'll give you my progression based on this experience. I'll give a bit of a range as I don't have exact dates with this sort of stuff...

3-4 months after: Did very little and didn't care. It was great. Lots of friends/family asking what I am going to do next, this got fairly annoying as it wasn't on my mind.
4-12 months after: Friends/family continue to ask, this gets me a bit anxious about the future and not having a project/business to work on. Actually I'd consider it very anxious about finding another venture and I was getting pretty bored.
12-18 months after: Stopped caring so much about finding the next project and just spent time with my wife who had just quick her job as well at this point. This allowed us to work on our marriage more than ever. I did have days where I was bored and thought about "what's next" but it wasn't as depressing.
23 months after: Took a 6 week vacation on the beach with no intentions other than to find warm weather. I'm not sure what happened here by mind aligned and found what I wanted to do next for a hobby/business venture.
24 moths after: My mind is organized and raring to go with this new venture. It meets all of my requirements...I can work side by side with my wife, I get to choose when and where I am working, I have no employees, and has potential to pay for our entire yearly expenses.

Hope that helps.

Bolshevik Artizan

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2016, 12:06:25 PM »
I'm at 2 years right now so I'll give you my progression based on this experience. I'll give a bit of a range as I don't have exact dates with this sort of stuff...

3-4 months after: Did very little and didn't care. It was great. Lots of friends/family asking what I am going to do next, this got fairly annoying as it wasn't on my mind.
4-12 months after: Friends/family continue to ask, this gets me a bit anxious about the future and not having a project/business to work on. Actually I'd consider it very anxious about finding another venture and I was getting pretty bored.
12-18 months after: Stopped caring so much about finding the next project and just spent time with my wife who had just quick her job as well at this point. This allowed us to work on our marriage more than ever. I did have days where I was bored and thought about "what's next" but it wasn't as depressing.
23 months after: Took a 6 week vacation on the beach with no intentions other than to find warm weather. I'm not sure what happened here by mind aligned and found what I wanted to do next for a hobby/business venture.
24 moths after: My mind is organized and raring to go with this new venture. It meets all of my requirements...I can work side by side with my wife, I get to choose when and where I am working, I have no employees, and has potential to pay for our entire yearly expenses.

Hope that helps.

Thanks very much YeahNo - very helpful. And again, my thanks to other commenters. The most recent job was pretty abusive in terms of workload, so it has been great to be able to stop and take stock. It sounds as though I will take six months then take stock.

will let you know how I get on.

Bolshewik Artizan

YeahNo

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2016, 10:21:05 PM »
Good luck my friend! Hit up this thread in a few months and let us know what your mindset is at that time.

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2016, 10:45:32 PM »
I've been FIRE for about three years now. I have finally met my goal of wondering how the hell I ever found time to work. One thing I still do is sleep more. It just feels great, so I figure I still need it.

Mr.Tako

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2016, 04:09:58 AM »
I'm about 2.5 months into FIRE.  It's great!  It took maybe 2-3 weeks before I forgot all the work stress.  It's not a distant memory, but I don't think about it anymore.

Now, I mostly work on my new projects and take care of the kids.  I probably nap more than I should!

Here's the crazy thing - I might be losing weight to FIRE.  Instead of sitting at a desk all day, I'm moving around and doing stuff. 

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2016, 08:10:29 AM »
Dr. Doom's posts on this over at www.livingafi.com are great and worth checking out.

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2016, 04:54:46 PM »
right now I am full time carer for our four year old but in a couple of weeks he will be in daycare.

Instead of putting your four year old in day care, you could be a full time parent until he starts school.

Bolshevik Artizan

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #15 on: January 22, 2016, 10:09:53 PM »
I'm about 2.5 months into FIRE.  It's great!  It took maybe 2-3 weeks before I forgot all the work stress.  It's not a distant memory, but I don't think about it anymore.

Now, I mostly work on my new projects and take care of the kids.  I probably nap more than I should!

Here's the crazy thing - I might be losing weight to FIRE.  Instead of sitting at a desk all day, I'm moving around and doing stuff.

Me too. I chop wood, lift wood, do all the housework, run round after my son, set traps for vermin and do all the shopping, washing and cooking so... yeah. I noticed it too - despite the fact that I used to bike to work every day and play soccer twice a week, I think I am losing weight because of all the other stuff.

Bolshevik Artizan

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2016, 10:11:56 PM »
right now I am full time carer for our four year old but in a couple of weeks he will be in daycare.

Instead of putting your four year old in day care, you could be a full time parent until he starts school.

Sorry - I should have been more clear on this. He will go to daycare for five hours three times a week just so he can get some socialisation and friends in our new community - I parent him full time outside that. This also gives me 15 hours to work on my projects if I want to. But mainly it's about giving him exposure to other kids his own age (he is our only one) and preparing him for "big school" in September.


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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2016, 02:47:51 AM »
Seems strange that you would give yourself a pre-determined amount of time to take stock, decompress, etc.

Isn't the point of retirement to do what you want, when you want to?

I'd suggest you give yourself only one day before you take stock. If you feel like taking an extra day tomorrow do it. Repeat as often as desired. Heck, after all you're retired! :)

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Re: FIREd three weeks ago ... question
« Reply #18 on: January 23, 2016, 10:20:06 AM »
Last job was toxic - it took me about a year. I still have a random bad dream about it here and there. I have a 5 yr old and an 8 yr old which keep me busy enough. The 6 hours in between school drop off and pick up go pretty fast.