Thanks for all the good suggestions about approaching the insurer and provider. The systems in other countries make me jealous! There is also another approach out west in the USA. My sister who lives on the west coast said she gets ads from the air ambulance companies about buying insurance from them. With low cost insurance from them, flights when needed are very inexpensive or free. Does that mean (once again) the well to do states are subsidising the poorer states?
To answer your questions:
We will not use bankruptcy and we will negotiate.
I read the air ambulance company reported their cost is about $10,000 per flight.
We called Blue Cross today. The rep said they have already paid the air ambulance company, and the company has already cashed the check (for about $3,700). She said the provider is not allowed to "balance bill" (which means bill us for the balance) and we should call BC if we do receive an invoice. I'll be delighted if that's the end of it, but not surprised if it's not. I'll let you know about what happens.
Meanwhile, the important thing I want to share is that I received an invoice from the air ambulance company before any paperwork from Blue Cross. The invoice, for the full amount (over $41K), was marked "Urgent Action Required". I also received a form, "Assignment of Benefits, Required for Insurance Billing". This form is a contract, requiring my signature, that says I would accept responsibility for any unpaid charges and any attorney fees incurred by the provider.
Even though the contract says it is required for insurance billing, the provider, according to BC, did bill BC directly without a signed contract from me. It was a ruse! (And it feels like kicking me when I was down.) If I had signed and returned the contract, I would have become legally responsible for the full bill. So, if you should find yourself in a similar situation, it might be wise to pause, read the fine print, and avoid signing anything until you get some more information.