Author Topic: I'm six (updated: eleven) days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?  (Read 7031 times)

hybrid

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Hi folks,

    The missus (who is 66) retired four years ago, and I semi-retired April 15, I am 53, we have been married since 1985. Between a few rentals, her pension, 401Ks, and her upcoming SS we are essentially FIRE, and I will likely do a little spot work here and there for my former employer (or make some FU money on the side).

    I have been planning for this day for seven years. I did not expect Covid-19 to be a part of that....

    For the veterans of FIRE, your sage advice for the newbie? I fully expect a transition period as a number of retirees have told me over the years, and I already don't miss work one little bit (the last five years were high pay - high stress as I sprinted to the finish, didn't take a week off for a year straight at the end....). So while I feel like I have an idea of what to expect in a general sense, not so much from an early-retiree standpoint.

    I have a long project list to work on. Some honey-do, and some personal (write a book, finish developing / marketing the board game I've created, potentially start a small Etsy-type business). Struggling at the moment with how much time I need to fully decompress from the working world, because I was seriously burned out the last six months or so. The finish line kept me going. Some days I am itching to get things done, others I am just plain tired. And of course, Covid has put some of my plans on hold.

    Your thoughts?   
« Last Edit: April 26, 2020, 06:06:36 PM by hybrid »

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2020, 01:44:21 PM »
Sounds like you have it about right.

I recommend using your time for some self reflection.  The reason (in my opinion) so many people are miserable in their careers is they choose a career that is not consistent with their core values.  If you are like most Americans, you can't name your top five personal core values right now.  If you get those figured out, it becomes a lot simpler to develop a set of activities that is consistent with who you truly are.  That is what the six month decompression period is really about I think.  Finding yourself. 

Best of luck.

markbike528CBX

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2020, 02:18:33 PM »
I'm sure you've read it, but I reference the following thread for those users who only look at the "recent unread thread" pages.

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/i-retired-and-then-everything-went-to-wrong-will-i-get-through-this

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/what-has-workednot-worked-for-you-guys-who-have-been-fire-for-10-yrs/

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/what-were-your-first-few-weeksmonths-of-er-like/50/


And the https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire  subforum generally has many versions of this question.

Since you sprinted to the finish, you probably need some coaching on how to relax.  Really.

I remember a friend was switching jobs, and both her future husband and I warned that she would have to slow down A LOT.
She said "Oh, I can slack off with the best of them" - our answer in stereo, NO you can not.
It happened that I was her supervisor in a chemistry lab, and that lab put out more data per day than the lab she was going to by a factor of 10 (which had 10 times the people).
She was later "counseled" by her coworkers at the new lab, as she was still getting more stuff done and making everyone else look bad.

Oh, get a copy of Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy and note the cover, where it says DON'T PANIC.

ysette9

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2020, 10:28:08 PM »
Welcome to the cohort! I FIREd almost six weeks ago and have spent all of my retired life so far sheltering in place with my family, taking care of three little kids including a baby. This is pretty much the polar opposite of how I had planned for this time to be spent. I wanted to recuperate with quiet time by myself and kid-free time with my husband.

The universe is having a good laugh at my expense.

I don’t have any good advice yet except get regular exercise and try hard to have good sleep hygiene. We are in such extraordinary times that I’m just taking it a day at a time and seeing where this boat drifts. I’m no longer actively paddling anywhere and that is ok for now.

Metalcat

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2020, 07:12:51 AM »
Here's my best advice for decompression:

Find a "lazy routine", one that involves enough activity to keep you occupied, but doesn't demand any degree of work-life productivity.

For me, this is going for a walk with my dog in the morning and listening to an audiobook, cooking a lot, keeping the house very clean, and getting some further more strenuous exercise in.

I can fill entire days with high level, basic adulting tasks. This allows for structured, lightly busy decompression without feeling lazy and aimless. I really, really enjoy being more present in these activities instead of them being chores to be completed between "real work" tasks. It took awhile to really grasp what actual living feels like.

From there, once you settle in and want to expand beyond accomplishing only day to day deliverables, then you will see which projects really percolate to the surface as the ones that you think would be the most satisfying to pursue. It may shock you what bubbles up, and what you are no longer willing to do.

I had a laundry list of projects I wanted to start or continue working on, but after two months of decompression, I felt compelled to go in a totally different and arguably absurd direction.

So that's my advice, keep yourself low level productive until your brain recovers enough to have the clarity it needs in order to learn how to make decisions within a completely new framework.

Car Jack

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2020, 10:11:36 AM »
Find a "lazy routine", one that involves enough activity to keep you occupied, but doesn't demand any degree of work-life productivity.

I think this is great advice.  Although I'm FI, I have not stopped working and my wife actually starts a new full time job next Monday.  During this Covid period of working from home, I've taken it upon myself to practice being retired.  I get up with the alarm clock at 7:30 every day.  During work days, I'll get breakfast, a shower and be in my home office with the computer up and running a bit after 8.  I take regular breaks to stoke our wood furnace and bring in more fire wood.  At lunch, after I eat, I go out and split some more wood, make some trail improvements and generally be outside.  I'll keep my phone on me so technically "I'm available to do work stuff". 

Before this period, I was afraid I would be bored and spend my time on the couch.  It's not happening.  So that's good.  I get to take walks with the wife on sunny days.  I'm cleaning up our home office that's become a big storage bin.  Little by little....not taking on any big chunks.  I write notes with small, achievable tasks like clean the 4 big windows in the office inside.  Then the same the next day outside. 

Being able to "practice retire" has helped me a ton.  When that day comes that I just stop working officially, I think I'll be ready.

dude

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2020, 06:48:41 AM »
After a blowout summer of traveling pretty extensively, then a pretty good winter with a couple trips out west to snowboard, everything kinda came o a screeching halt with the Covid. To make matters worse, I'd just relocated from a large east coast city to the deeeep south, where there are no mountains or an ocean to play in (near my particular location). But praise Jeebus, I've had a very cool project to work on and that's kept me more or less sane. I've drifted into a routine of getting up, eating, checking the news, then reading a book for an hour or so, then getting to work on that project -- converting a cargo van into a tiny home on wheels (with plans to embark on the #vanlife once it's finished). After that, I nap for an hour @3pm, then get up and workout, then make dinner, chill the rest of the night (waaaaay more Netflix watching than I'd anticipated prior to the Covid). Like I said, the van project has been a godsend -- there's so much to learn and do. Thus far, I've insulated and soundproofed the entire van, got the subfloor and floor down, cut in and installed both a roof vent fan and a half slider bunk window, attached solar panels to the roof, and some other minor stuff. Now comes the hard part -- wiring, plumbing, cabinetry, etc. But I'm super psyched to be learning and applying new knowledge. Gives me a great sense of accomplishment.

So THAT'S my advice -- find a project, be it a garden, van conversion, home improvement, writing the next Great American novel, whatever, and pursue it with passion.

Metalcat

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2020, 12:49:40 PM »
After a blowout summer of traveling pretty extensively, then a pretty good winter with a couple trips out west to snowboard, everything kinda came o a screeching halt with the Covid. To make matters worse, I'd just relocated from a large east coast city to the deeeep south, where there are no mountains or an ocean to play in (near my particular location). But praise Jeebus, I've had a very cool project to work on and that's kept me more or less sane. I've drifted into a routine of getting up, eating, checking the news, then reading a book for an hour or so, then getting to work on that project -- converting a cargo van into a tiny home on wheels (with plans to embark on the #vanlife once it's finished). After that, I nap for an hour @3pm, then get up and workout, then make dinner, chill the rest of the night (waaaaay more Netflix watching than I'd anticipated prior to the Covid). Like I said, the van project has been a godsend -- there's so much to learn and do. Thus far, I've insulated and soundproofed the entire van, got the subfloor and floor down, cut in and installed both a roof vent fan and a half slider bunk window, attached solar panels to the roof, and some other minor stuff. Now comes the hard part -- wiring, plumbing, cabinetry, etc. But I'm super psyched to be learning and applying new knowledge. Gives me a great sense of accomplishment.

So THAT'S my advice -- find a project, be it a garden, van conversion, home improvement, writing the next Great American novel, whatever, and pursue it with passion.


The ting is, a lot of new retirees don't have the capacity for this until they decompress, and because so many are still in high-pressure work mode, I've seen a lot of people exacerbate their work burnout by pressuring themselves to pursue passion and meaning.

Everyone is individual, I'm sure some people have zero need for decompression, but for those who do, it's a really important step that can't be rushed and needs to be done without feeling guilty for having no deliverables beyond day-to-day adulting.

hybrid

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2020, 06:08:06 AM »
Thanks for all the good advice everyone. I have several projects that are on hold at the moment and since several are on hold, taking this time to fully decompress is a good idea. I'm discovering just how wound up I've been and unwinding doesn't happen overnight.

Missing the hell out of pickleball right now though. Oh well.

EscapeVelocity2020

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2020, 11:27:32 PM »
Also, just to point out the obvious, ER here typically means retirement at 30 or 40, with lots of energy to put toward new, generally frugal interests (I'm currently improving my triathalon transitions and doing brick workouts, and I'm an oldster.  Others are sharing gardening hacks or domestic travel plans).  There is another forum, Early-Retirement.org that caters a little bit more to retiring in your 50's.  No harm in looking around over there and maybe joining there and posting this question.  We won't disown you over here, but make use of this time to find your happy place.  There's also Boggleheads.org if you happen to be wealthy, or just want more points of view on your new lifestyle.  Good luck, and keep posting either way!

Linea_Norway

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2020, 01:50:20 AM »
Sounds like you have it about right.

I recommend using your time for some self reflection.  The reason (in my opinion) so many people are miserable in their careers is they choose a career that is not consistent with their core values.  If you are like most Americans, you can't name your top five personal core values right now.  If you get those figured out, it becomes a lot simpler to develop a set of activities that is consistent with who you truly are.  That is what the six month decompression period is really about I think.  Finding yourself. 

Best of luck.

Any tools you would recommend to get a handle on that?

Meditation could be such a tool. Check out Palouse mindfulness.

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2020, 11:16:54 AM »
Sounds like you have it about right.

I recommend using your time for some self reflection.  The reason (in my opinion) so many people are miserable in their careers is they choose a career that is not consistent with their core values.  If you are like most Americans, you can't name your top five personal core values right now.  If you get those figured out, it becomes a lot simpler to develop a set of activities that is consistent with who you truly are.  That is what the six month decompression period is really about I think.  Finding yourself. 

Best of luck.

Any tools you would recommend to get a handle on that?

There are lots of online resources to explore your core values.  For example: https://www.cmu.edu/career/documents/my-career-path-activities/values-exercise.pdf


iris lily

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #12 on: April 26, 2020, 11:25:09 AM »
Just because they ask you to do shit doesn’t mean that you have to do that shit. Beware of overloading yourself with volunteer activity.

Now for us, we just kept up with the same organizations we had always been working with, it’s just that we took on bigger jobs and spent a lot more time doing work for them. I had already defined my core values and I didn’t need to cast about for volunteer jobs. But some people do need that.

I’m not sure about your friend group, but you might also want to develop pat answers to the suggestions of jobs that you could take part time because well why wouldn’t you want to work part time? I mean really, what else you gonna do with your time? I was flabbergasted about how many people during the first six months of my retirement suggested things I could do for work.

Jesus H fucking Christ. I am done with that shit.

hybrid

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2020, 06:05:51 PM »
Also, just to point out the obvious, ER here typically means retirement at 30 or 40, with lots of energy to put toward new, generally frugal interests (I'm currently improving my triathalon transitions and doing brick workouts, and I'm an oldster.  Others are sharing gardening hacks or domestic travel plans).  There is another forum, Early-Retirement.org that caters a little bit more to retiring in your 50's.  No harm in looking around over there and maybe joining there and posting this question.  We won't disown you over here, but make use of this time to find your happy place.  There's also Boggleheads.org if you happen to be wealthy, or just want more points of view on your new lifestyle.  Good luck, and keep posting either way!

Ha, yeah, wish I had this awakening at 32 instead of 46, but few regrets. The reason I embraced this so heartily seven years ago was in large part to move on to all of those other things I'd rather spend time on. As an example, I make blackberry preserves each year in July, dozens of jars. I've been spending part of the last week clearing out an overgrown section of my backyard so I can transplant vines there from a nearby field I pick from. I have a book to write, a boardgame that is mostly fleshed out I'd like to market, a small Etsy-type business I'd like to play with, and was knocking on the door of being a 4.5 pickleballer until Covid came along. I'm definitely feeling better eleven days in than six. While The Villages is fine for some, it's not my idea of retirement.

For now I am getting things done and learning to relax when i'm not. Frankly, the latter is tougher for me than the former, I have a LOT of interests.

Thanks for the tips EV!

hybrid

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2020, 06:19:16 PM »
Just because they ask you to do shit doesn’t mean that you have to do that shit. Beware of overloading yourself with volunteer activity.

Now for us, we just kept up with the same organizations we had always been working with, it’s just that we took on bigger jobs and spent a lot more time doing work for them. I had already defined my core values and I didn’t need to cast about for volunteer jobs. But some people do need that.

I’m not sure about your friend group, but you might also want to develop pat answers to the suggestions of jobs that you could take part time because well why wouldn’t you want to work part time? I mean really, what else you gonna do with your time? I was flabbergasted about how many people during the first six months of my retirement suggested things I could do for work.

Jesus H fucking Christ. I am done with that shit.

Ha, yeah, I don't feel the need to work just 'cuz. But the pay was pretty darn good and a little extra cash would both give me some peace of mind and frankly allow us to do a few things that aren't currently in the budget (I wouldn't mind seeing some of the world, frugally of course, but it ain't free...). Regardless, I can't see it being more than a few months a year, and I have the right to say thanks but no thanks (I'm technically a white-label subcontractor rather than part time employee).

I suspect you are familiar with David Graeber and "Bullshit Jobs". I worked in IT, the kind of IT where I was more plumber than paper pusher so it wasn't really a BS job per se, but if I never patch another server I'll be just fine with that.... ;-)

SugarMountain

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #15 on: June 04, 2020, 10:58:42 AM »
Also, just to point out the obvious, ER here typically means retirement at 30 or 40, with lots of energy to put toward new, generally frugal interests (I'm currently improving my triathalon transitions and doing brick workouts, and I'm an oldster.  Others are sharing gardening hacks or domestic travel plans).  There is another forum, Early-Retirement.org that caters a little bit more to retiring in your 50's.  No harm in looking around over there and maybe joining there and posting this question.  We won't disown you over here, but make use of this time to find your happy place.  There's also Boggleheads.org if you happen to be wealthy, or just want more points of view on your new lifestyle.  Good luck, and keep posting either way!

Just be careful posting over at early-retirement.org. I got censured on like my first post when I posted a link to Eddie Izzard's "Cake or Death" bit because there is profanity in the video that I didn't warn people about.  Fuck that.  But, I never did give them a chance so maybe I should revisit the site.

bacchi

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #16 on: June 04, 2020, 07:57:08 PM »
Just be careful posting over at early-retirement.org. I got censured on like my first post when I posted a link to Eddie Izzard's "Cake or Death" bit because there is profanity in the video that I didn't warn people about.  Fuck that.  But, I never did give them a chance so maybe I should revisit the site.

Ha. I got temp-banned when I questioned some of their more conservative politics.

LibrarianFuzz

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #17 on: June 06, 2020, 10:01:25 AM »
There is another forum, Early-Retirement.org that caters a little bit more to retiring in your 50's.

I tried going to this site because I think its more my speed, but eh-gad! The ads! Every time I click on any new page or go to a new post, I have to close out at least 3-4 various advertisements at the top, bottom, and sidebar. And as I scroll around, its hard to immediately tell where the actual content is at because there's so many ads! Ads, ads everywhere! Can't deal!

LibrarianFuzz

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #18 on: June 06, 2020, 10:06:00 AM »

I suspect you are familiar with David Graeber and "Bullshit Jobs".

This book was life-changing for me. It helped me understand why I just can't act like it is my lucky day that I have landed into a job where very little is required of me except for the ability to put up with office politics and sit through countless meetings throwing out occasional phrases designed to kill productivity like: "Let's backburner this project until we get more information/get a report from the committee/solicit more feedback from the e-team/until our priorities are more clearly defined/until everyone on the team is ready to move forward."
« Last Edit: June 06, 2020, 10:07:49 AM by LibrarianFuzz »

Cassie

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Re: I'm six (updated: eleven) days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #19 on: June 06, 2020, 10:38:21 AM »
I did my life in phases. First SAHM until youngest went to school. Then BA, MSW then work for 4 years. Then back to graduate school for a career I loved helping people with disabilities return to work. I only retired at 58 because as people left they weren’t replaced and the work load was unbearable. 8 years later I do some consulting and teach a online college class. I found volunteer work to be mostly just as big a pain as working except no pay.

SugarMountain

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #20 on: June 06, 2020, 11:55:24 AM »

I suspect you are familiar with David Graeber and "Bullshit Jobs".

This book was life-changing for me. It helped me understand why I just can't act like it is my lucky day that I have landed into a job where very little is required of me except for the ability to put up with office politics and sit through countless meetings throwing out occasional phrases designed to kill productivity like: "Let's backburner this project until we get more information/get a report from the committee/solicit more feedback from the e-team/until our priorities are more clearly defined/until everyone on the team is ready to move forward."

So far I've only read the original essay the first chapter, but I've already had a couple of "holy shit" moments where I recognize exactly what he's saying.  My current job pays much but demands little, so I've been questioning whether retirement (I'm well ahead of 4% at this point) makes sense.  I need to keep reading and do some serious contemplating.

BigMoneyJim

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Re: I'm six (updated: eleven) days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #21 on: June 06, 2020, 12:26:57 PM »
It's fucking awesome.

But to expand, there are unexpected challenges that pop up even after looking forward for 20 years to early retirement. I'm closing in on 8 months retired I think. In addition to the 'normal' (if there is such a thing) detox and adjust period, my short- and medium-term life plans have changed a few times, the most recent being the pandemic unraveling my then-immediate plans to move and start a new life elsewhere.

So, a few paradigm changes might be coming.

Trudie

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Re: I'm six (updated: eleven) days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #22 on: July 07, 2020, 09:49:34 PM »
Don’t overplan.  Go with the flow.  It’s okay to wake up and decide that day how you want to spend your time.  Focus much less on accomplishments and getting stuff done and more on your relationships and passions.  If you take care of yourself and your relationships, you will be happier in the long run.  That sense of contentment is a much better feeling than accomplishment for me.  Accomplishments at work are transient.  I’m living my best life learning new things in my garden.  It’s simple, but satisfying.

Mellow Mallow

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Re: I'm six days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #23 on: August 05, 2020, 03:23:46 PM »

I suspect you are familiar with David Graeber and "Bullshit Jobs". I worked in IT, the kind of IT where I was more plumber than paper pusher so it wasn't really a BS job per se, but if I never patch another server I'll be just fine with that.... ;-)

Definitely getting that book out of the library - looks awesome!

StackOfCoins.com (Jay)

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Re: I'm six (updated: eleven) days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #24 on: August 05, 2020, 10:15:00 PM »
Following. Great discussion.

jim555

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Re: I'm six (updated: eleven) days into FIRE. What should I be aware of?
« Reply #25 on: August 06, 2020, 11:39:12 AM »
Get ready for your existential crisis.