Author Topic: How to get over the feeling of having to accomplish something everyday?  (Read 24706 times)

gardenarian

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 53
  • Location: Ashlandia
Re: How to get over the feeling of having to accomplish something everyday?
« Reply #50 on: March 18, 2016, 01:26:31 PM »

  Also, a lot of projects I think I should be doing, I just don't want to do and that is where I think the stress comes in. 

Yes, those project we feel we ought to do and don't want to do. Ick.

Here's what I do: Brainstorm on the project by making a mind map/word cloud. Talk to other people about it. Is there a different solution to the problem? Consider ignoring it - maybe it will go away. Can I get someone else to do it? Is there any way to make it fun? Can I break it down someway into steps that make it more manageable?

David at Raptitude has a great post on How to Get Yourself to Do Things: http://www.raptitude.com/2015/03/how-to-get-yourself-to-do-things/

I also feel I have to accomplish something every day, but haven't really considered that a bad thing. I keep a list in my journal of the things I get done each day, and it's a lot! But - it's just those creepy projects (finish unpacking all the moving boxes, clean the hall closet, etc.) that haunt me. There is always something more fun to do than going through old crap in the garage.


Corporate Coconut

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 25
  • Age: 39
  • Location: New York, NY
Re: How to get over the feeling of having to accomplish something everyday?
« Reply #51 on: April 06, 2016, 12:14:32 AM »
I am by no means retired, but I really love keeping official track of my free time accomplishments. I love using Goodreads to track and review what books I am reading and I always try to hit my yearly goal of fun books read. I also started keeping a list for 2016 of everything I make. So far, I've cross-stitched a Scottie dog Christmas ornament (haven't cross-stitched in years! It was silly and fun...) and knitted a black sweater. This isn't a good idea if you are a person who feels stressed about lists, but I really like keeping lists and seeing how "productive" my free time is.

This is me! But even on days where I do "nothing", I walk the dogs, cook, do laundry, exercise and read. That's a good day of doing nothing in my book!

BTDretire

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3077
Re: How to get over the feeling of having to accomplish something everyday?
« Reply #52 on: April 08, 2016, 12:01:05 PM »
How to get over the feeling of having to accomplish something everyday?

  Ya, that little voice you keep hearing.
I divorced her!
 Nah, just kidding,  :-)
I don't think I'll have a lot of problem with that,
But I'm sure my wife will. 

Rollin

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1192
  • Location: West-Central Florida - USA
Re: How to get over the feeling of having to accomplish something everyday?
« Reply #53 on: April 09, 2016, 05:53:05 PM »
I don't think its just the corporate mindset.  Nor do I think it's necessarily hard-wired (though it could be, not ready to dismiss that entirely).

I have noticed how so many blogs out there are selling the message "be more productive", how to "stop procrastinating", "be more efficient", "do more of what you really want to do" etc.  And then the whole lifestyle hacking concept, MMM included (though we love him of course), where we're encouraged to live our best life, analyze if we're really spending our life in a way that aligns with our values, live a life outside the box.

The first message is creepy.  Who is selling it?  Who wants us to be more productive?  It could sound like a conspiracy theory, but since the media is owned by a few companies, and even the blogs are written by people who are exposed to the media, it wouldn't be inconceivable for the 1% to want to inject a little productivity into the masses.

The second message could be harmful.  All this self-analysis can be paralyzing and take away from the joy of just living.  I notice how much of these thoughts come from outside myself because when I talk to my husband about our "life values" and how we really want to spend our life, it is nearly impossible since he is completely and totally unplugged from the media and the internet, and hangs out with others who are also unplugged.  He doesn't have the vocabulary or the philosophical framework.  It just makes me wonder how much of my drive to life my best life is actually mine, and not planted there by someone else!

Holyoak's message really resonates with me too.  I see my husband live like that: just do what needs to be done.  And when a person isn't thinking about what needs to be done, they are truly living it in the moment.  Everything else is in the way of the raw experience of life.

All this analysis creates guilt, as OP mentioned.  I should be doing something else.  I try to remember that I should be doing whatever it is I happen to be doing, not whatever is on my list or in the back of my head. 

I wish I had the answers.  I'm not FIRE, but I am tired of feeling guilty or less than my best self.

One of the best sentences ever written!

undercover

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 990
Re: How to get over the feeling of having to accomplish something everyday?
« Reply #54 on: April 10, 2016, 12:50:23 AM »
I don't think there's a way to ever truly get over this feeling - I think it's a psychological need by humans to feel useful, something we haven't evolved out of.

Logically, I just remind myself that the world is perfectly great as it is and I am doing my "part" by enjoying it. But yes, it's something I still struggle with. There's no such thing as true retirement. That's for the dead. Balance is key.

Quote from: Miss Prism
Also, a lot of projects I think I should be doing, I just don't want to do and that is where I think the stress comes in. 

Yeah...I think that's the definition of anxiety/stress...inconsistency between what is thought and what is done. The trick is to lower expectations and then you're suddenly happy.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2016, 12:54:12 AM by undercover »

Rollin

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1192
  • Location: West-Central Florida - USA
Re: How to get over the feeling of having to accomplish something everyday?
« Reply #55 on: April 10, 2016, 02:34:09 PM »
I don't think there's a way to ever truly get over this feeling - I think it's a psychological need by humans to feel useful, something we haven't evolved out of.

Don't give up because there is a way to get past this. There are many people who are perfectly happy and don't need to "feel" useful. I am a busy guy, but at one time I was way busier and always felt as if I needed to put a lot on my list and get it all done. I recognized that and after a few years I don't feel that as much. I am definitely happier doing nothing now and then. I'm working on feeling fine no matter what I am up to.

arebelspy

  • Administrator
  • Senior Mustachian
  • *****
  • Posts: 28417
  • Age: -999
  • Location: Seattle, WA
Re: How to get over the feeling of having to accomplish something everyday?
« Reply #56 on: April 11, 2016, 12:04:30 AM »
Indeed, I never have that feeling.

As I mentioned earlier, if anything, I'd like to have it, as it would be useful.  Guess I'm just stuck being content with how things are. :)
I am a former teacher who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and am now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about me, this Business Insider profile tells the story pretty well.
I (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out the Now page to see what I'm up to currently.

Rollin

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1192
  • Location: West-Central Florida - USA
Re: How to get over the feeling of having to accomplish something everyday?
« Reply #57 on: April 11, 2016, 10:56:01 AM »
Indeed, I never have that feeling.

As I mentioned earlier, if anything, I'd like to have it, as it would be useful.  Guess I'm just stuck being content with how things are. :)

+1

lizzzi

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2150
Getting my now seven-months-old puppy has just about cured me of my old self-induced guilt about not being productive. Bandit and I tend to  just live for the moment--enjoy our food, our sleep, (including relaxing naps), our quick grooming (shower for me, ears combed and face washed for him), our walks in the park, and our fun playing with toys--whether it be a good session of tugging fuzzy Blue Bear , or our separate games--me doing music or writing--him sniffing out interesting things like perhaps crumbs in the sofa cushions. So we pretty much just eat, sleep, groom, play...occasionally poop--what could be better?

Trudie

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1964
It may sound a little trite, but we are human "beings," after all, and not human "doings."  I struggle on the weekends because I run around in a state of "TFB" most of the time, as Dr. Doom is fond of saying.  I am on high alert for a tougher than average retirement transition.  Plus I am a "thinker."  Double whammy.

If truth be told, the moments I enjoy best are when I'm in the flow of things, and in no particular hurry such as:  (1)  When I'm puttering in the kitchen trying new recipes and doing creative things; (2) When I'm curled up on the couch on Sunday nights watching costume dramas on PBS; (3) When I'm on my bike tooling around and looking at scenery; (4) When I'm traveling and sitting in a public place or on public transport people watching. 

I've even noticed this tendency to make hobbies into jobs, and that is not a good thing.  And it's also something to be aware of in ER.  Case in point:  I started running about 6 years ago.  I used to enjoy it when I was reaching new "heights."  You know, the first time I did a race, the first time I did a half marathon, my first marathon... and then mentally I started to enjoy it less.  The training schedule.  The pressure to get runs done at night after work because, you know, "upcoming race."  I can see how I've cluttered my life with something saying it's "good for my health" and "better for me when I'm on a plan."  There's not much joy in it these days.  When I first started I was sort of in awe of the natural beauty of places and the fact that I could go there on foot.  Now it's a drudgery.  I ran in too much crap where I just ended up on the couch tired, "hangry", and total wind and cold-whipped.  I just completed a half marathon (my slowest time to date) and beat myself up a hundred different ways for not running it faster and having to walk a lot at the end.  What the hell?  Where is it written that getting faster is the goal?  What about enjoying the journey?  I've unsubscribed from running mags, have no races scheduled... you could say I have "motivational" problems.  I've cut way down on my miles.  I want to either be satisfied by going the distance or not doing it at all.

DeltaBond

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 530
  • Location: U.S.
I agree that "should" is a guilt word.  I'm personally not close to retirement, and quite honestly, I'm not looking forward to it simply because I don't have a good solid hobby.  Hobbies come and go, so I'm kinda just waiting till the next one grabs me, but I've noticed that people who have a hobby, or many hobbies, seem to handle the retirement transition a LOT better.  I'm also trying to accept that I don't have to be really good at something just to enjoy it as a hobby.

Racer X

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 51
I'm on week 2 of being retired and this thread resonated with me strongly.

I have worked my tail off since being retired.  I am physically exhausted.  I'm in decent enough shape, but I've got muscles and joints hurting that I didn't know existed.  I have gotten an amazing amount of things done.  I'm quite proud of that, actually.  I'm happy and satisfied with the results.  But ugh - I gotta learn to pace myself. 


mak1277

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 788
I don't think there's a way to ever truly get over this feeling - I think it's a psychological need by humans to feel useful, something we haven't evolved out of.


Add me to the growing list of people who have never felt this need to be "useful".  I don't like being idle, but I definitely don't ever feel the need to accomplish things.  If I didn't have a boss at work who expected things to get done, I probably wouldn't accomplish much here either.

Trudie

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1964
I agree that "should" is a guilt word.  I'm personally not close to retirement, and quite honestly, I'm not looking forward to it simply because I don't have a good solid hobby.  Hobbies come and go, so I'm kinda just waiting till the next one grabs me, but I've noticed that people who have a hobby, or many hobbies, seem to handle the retirement transition a LOT better.  I'm also trying to accept that I don't have to be really good at something just to enjoy it as a hobby.

I recommend trying something out that you enjoy, but aren't great at... whatever that is for you.  I suppose mine is running.  I'm a back of the packer.  But, I've finished a marathon, four halfs, multiple shorter races, and done a crapload of good for my health in the process.  Plus, there are the hours I've spent in the sun and fresh air, which has helped my mood.  When I've needed something else to focus on to quell anxiety or put work in its proper place, it's helped. 

Dare to do something poorly that you love!  It kicks the naysayers in the teeth.  Our culture is just too focused on success and extrinsic reward.  You define success for yourself.

jim555

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2609
What is this feeling you speak of?  Oh, time for my nap.

Cannot Wait!

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 933
  • Age: 54
  • Location: Canada
  • FIREd 2016 @ 49
+1
When someone asked the Dali Lama what his message to all CEOs would be; he said, "Take a nap" - so at least they wouldn’t be causing harm.

lizzzi

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2150
Take a look at the book "How to be Idle" (A Loafer's Manifesto) by Tom Hodgkinson.

Cannot Wait!

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 933
  • Age: 54
  • Location: Canada
  • FIREd 2016 @ 49
Hah! I could have written it! Except... well, you know.

Stachey

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1020
Miss Primm, how are you doing with this?  I noticed you started this thread awhile ago and wanting to know if things have changed for you.

The reason I ask is I've been FIRE for a little over two months and initially felt really wonderful and loved it but lately I've been anxious about not accomplishing enough.  Worried that I'm "wasting my life".  Just worrying in general.

I'm really hoping this is just a phase.  That years and years of being institutionalized to perform, produce, be a good little worker bee have taken their toll on my psyche and I just need to reset back to a more normal way of looking at the world.

Did anyone else go through a detox phase from the workplace?  How long did it take to get over it?

lizzzi

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2150
I would say a couple of years, but keep at it. The rewards of taking the "accomplishment" demon off of your own back are wonderful. It's hard to explain, but there is something about living life entirely on your own terms, doing whatever the F you feel like whenever the F you feel like it, enjoying the moments--the sun on your face, the wind in your hair, reading novels "in the morning!" as Barbara Pym used to say after she retired...a nap on the couch in the afternoon with the puppy...(like, who ever took a nap?)...buying 120 colored pencils and drawing whatever the F you feel like--whether you can draw or not, lol--I apologize if I've posted this amalgam of two MMM quotes before, but I love these words and keep them close: "It hits you like a pack of wild butterflies every morning when you wake up. Life is not a contest to see who can accomplish the most. It is simply a series of days where your goal is to wake up, have a great time, and go to bed even happier than when you woke up."

SteveRyeCurd

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 26
  • Location: Ohio
  • Single Dad Unschooler Programmer Reader
I always have the urge to accomplish something, and probably always will.  It might be nice to get rid of it, but I think it's just part of who I am.

The upside is that I'm always accomplishing things - and doing so gives me a good feeling - a sense of satisfaction.

Cannot Wait!

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 933
  • Age: 54
  • Location: Canada
  • FIREd 2016 @ 49
I think it's a personality thing; whether you are retired or not doesn't matter.

Today I went for a hike, jumped in the lake, made an excellent lunch, visited with a friend and relaxed in my hammock.  What did I accomplish?  I made myself very happy.  😊

arebelspy

  • Administrator
  • Senior Mustachian
  • *****
  • Posts: 28417
  • Age: -999
  • Location: Seattle, WA
The reason I ask is I've been FIRE for a little over two months and initially felt really wonderful and loved it but lately I've been anxious about not accomplishing enough.  Worried that I'm "wasting my life".  Just worrying in general.

My wife and I had a talk about this topic the other day.

She said (I'm paraphrasing here):
"If I went to a cubicle, sat punching in numbers for 8 hours (with a short break to cram down food at lunch), and then came home, people would call that "productive."  If I  instead during that time cooked a little lunch, took a walk, played with the baby, took a nap, and read a book, and basically "did nothing" it would fall under the "unproductive."  But neither of the two actually produce much of anything.  It's just that the first has been labeled by society as "productive." Why do I care what society's label is?  I'd feel like I'm contributing just about as much (i.e. nothing), and the second makes me infinitely happier, so why should I feel guilty if I do that one, instead of the other?"

She brought up the years of being institutionalized to perform (both high achievers in school), but that it's absurd to think of most jobs out there as "productive" except under the weird definition that you get paid to do it, and society thinks you going and being miserable for 8 hours is a good thing.

She said she thought of that shortly after we ER'd (about a year ago), and it's her go-to thought whenever she feels like she's "wasted" a day "doing nothing."  If she had gone for 8 hours and punched numbers into a box, that would be productive instead?  That's silly, so I choose to reject society's idea of productive for my idea of how I want to spend my time.  And then there's no guilt, because no, I'm not spending my time being (society's version of) "productive," but because I've explicitly rejected that idea, and substituted it with the idea of how I want to spend my time.  Once you accept that, you should feel guilty when you spend your time not doing what you want to do!  ;)
I am a former teacher who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and am now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about me, this Business Insider profile tells the story pretty well.
I (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out the Now page to see what I'm up to currently.

Stachey

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1020
Cheers guys!  That helped a lot!

I really like your post arebelspy!  That is a great way to think about it because my work life was definitely not making the world a better place.  Moving a mouse around on a desktop for ten hours a day.  Oh the glamour! 

And lizzi I'm powering through for the pack of wild butterflies!

SteveRyeCurd

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 26
  • Location: Ohio
  • Single Dad Unschooler Programmer Reader
Another way to look at it is that society DOES value number punchers.  There is a market for them, and multiple employers are willing to exchange money for the value that the punchers provide.  The punchers are producing value for the employers - otherwise, the employers wouldn't hire them.

Maybe you don't value number-punchers, but employers certainly do.

arebelspy

  • Administrator
  • Senior Mustachian
  • *****
  • Posts: 28417
  • Age: -999
  • Location: Seattle, WA
Another way to look at it is that society DOES value number punchers.  There is a market for them, and multiple employers are willing to exchange money for the value that the punchers provide.  The punchers are producing value for the employers - otherwise, the employers wouldn't hire them.

Maybe you don't value number-punchers, but employers certainly do.

Obviously.  I didn't think this needed saying?  That's why it fits within society's definition of "productive."

The point was that if me going and sitting in a box and punching numbers into a smaller box for 8-10 hours is "productive," one might question society's definition of productive.
I am a former teacher who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and am now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about me, this Business Insider profile tells the story pretty well.
I (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out the Now page to see what I'm up to currently.

undercover

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 990
You might like this: http://soulanatomy.org/read-this-if-you-feel-like-you-cant-stop-creating-problems-in-your-mind/

(The author there is heavily promoting her book under an "org" domain, go figure, so take it with a grain of salt, but the message is still good. I have zero affiliation, the idea just seemed pertinent)

Basically, I don't think there's any sense in trying to shake this feeling because it will always be there. The point of any "retirement", whether it be early or not, is to move from doing what you don't want to be doing to doing what you want. The desire for fulfillment and feeling "productive", will never completely wane, but I think you can learn to focus on less impressive goals. As long as you're always creating "something", or at least get the feeling that you are, you'll be fine. I don't think there's any scale that has to define that "something".

Obviously, as others have mentioned, society has created such highly specialized positions that it's difficult to recognize whether our skills are really bring put to use or not. In reality, there's no way (except qualitatively by an individual) to judge which pursuits are worthwhile and which ones aren't. In the end, there's virtually no difference in being a "number puncher", and being a "visionary" like Bill Gates. The point is that you can get fulfillment and meaning from very small things. In "retirement", your mind may become fulfilled by creating art or volunteering if there are no other pursuits that you'd rather go after.

I think it's a worthless exercise to try to convince anyone that you eventually get over the "having to do something" feeling, because you don't. We have to constantly be doing something - it's in our wiring from evolution. The point is that you can and will learn to redefine what it is you want out of the world and how you're best suited to live it. That's where the importance of having enough money and passive income comes into play in being able to afford that freedom.

But on the flip side, freedom isn't everything. Being overwhelmed with options is not necessarily a good thing, and we have seemingly more options now by FAR than before. (I say seemingly, because the difference in our perceived options are often very little in reality). Sometimes it's better to be "stuck", depending on what you're stuck doing, rather than worrying about what it is that will make you feel alive. Normally, when you're stuck doing something, you'll daydream about what it is that you'd rather be doing, and sometimes those dreams are better left as dreams.

Obviously, I think about this a lot. Essentially, it boils down to the meaning of life in general. If you're not doing what you feel is worthwhile "work", then what's the point? We were born to be producers, not consumers, that's why the idea of retiring (unless you're super old and ready for death) to a beach permanently are not solutions. If you're truly going to "retire", then I think the best way to do it is to travel so that your mind is constantly occupied and you're so busy planning and figuring out logistics that it begins to feel like work.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2016, 04:17:56 AM by undercover »

Cassie

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6913
Undercover-I hope you are kidding.  Turn travel into work-really?  Arebel: raising a child is one of the most important job anyone will ever do.  It is nice that you can both do it together.

undercover

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 990
Not really - travel is a lot of work. Booking, the time it takes to get there, carrying and unloading things, packing and loading things, planning activities, settling in, etc. Unless you're going somewhere to stay inside the whole time. Of course it doesn't always feel like "work", since literally everyone loves to travel, but it can get tiresome - both physically and mentally. I'm not explicitly saying that your goal should to try to turn travel into something mundane, just that it's not all roses and peaches no matter how you do it.

Stachey

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1020
I'm finding this is easier or lot more difficult depending on who is in your social circle.  Some of the people I know have work ethics that border on religious fanaticism.  One guy works long hours at his paying job then spends every weekend doing a long list of chores for his parents.  And it's not every once in awhile, it's every damn weekend.  He only stops to take a break when he is physically incapable of doing anything else.  How can someone who is 56 years old still require so much approval from his parents that he'll be their personal slave?  It is really sad because he is a good guy but he has no time for a social life or a family of his own because he spends all of his energy on his parents. 

misshathaway

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 389
  • Age: 64
  • Location: Massachusetts
One way is to take a part-time side hustle and fill up the rest of your week with charitable church activities because you want to feel like you are useful and contributing. Eventually you will hate your life as much as when you were working. Only now you are not making any money. Then quit everything and breathe a sigh of relief.

Not recommended, but it did cure me, for the time being, of any need to be useful or productive. And truthfully none of my activities really amounted to a hill of beans anyway. They just allowed me to skirt uncomfortable questions about what I do all day.

I'm going to the library today. Maybe to the bank. That's it.

mamagoose

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 357
  • Location: FL
The reason I ask is I've been FIRE for a little over two months and initially felt really wonderful and loved it but lately I've been anxious about not accomplishing enough.  Worried that I'm "wasting my life".  Just worrying in general.

My wife and I had a talk about this topic the other day.

She said (I'm paraphrasing here):
"If I went to a cubicle, sat punching in numbers for 8 hours (with a short break to cram down food at lunch), and then came home, people would call that "productive."  If I  instead during that time cooked a little lunch, took a walk, played with the baby, took a nap, and read a book, and basically "did nothing" it would fall under the "unproductive."  But neither of the two actually produce much of anything.  It's just that the first has been labeled by society as "productive." Why do I care what society's label is?  I'd feel like I'm contributing just about as much (i.e. nothing), and the second makes me infinitely happier, so why should I feel guilty if I do that one, instead of the other?"

She brought up the years of being institutionalized to perform (both high achievers in school), but that it's absurd to think of most jobs out there as "productive" except under the weird definition that you get paid to do it, and society thinks you going and being miserable for 8 hours is a good thing.

She said she thought of that shortly after we ER'd (about a year ago), and it's her go-to thought whenever she feels like she's "wasted" a day "doing nothing."  If she had gone for 8 hours and punched numbers into a box, that would be productive instead?  That's silly, so I choose to reject society's idea of productive for my idea of how I want to spend my time.  And then there's no guilt, because no, I'm not spending my time being (society's version of) "productive," but because I've explicitly rejected that idea, and substituted it with the idea of how I want to spend my time.  Once you accept that, you should feel guilty when you spend your time not doing what you want to do!  ;)

One could argue that childrearing (bolded above) is by definition "productive" work based on the $200/week daycare cost in my neighborhood. If someone will pay you to do a task, or if you otherwise would have paid someone to do that task, it is productive work. That's like saying mowing your own grass or cleaning your own house isn't productive work because you aren't getting paid to do it, meanwhile plenty of folks get paid to do these tasks or have to pay to outsource them. Parenting is a JOB! A flexible and highly enjoyable one, but still a job.

Miss Prim

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 407
  • Location: Michigan
Miss Primm, how are you doing with this?  I noticed you started this thread awhile ago and wanting to know if things have changed for you.

The reason I ask is I've been FIRE for a little over two months and initially felt really wonderful and loved it but lately I've been anxious about not accomplishing enough.  Worried that I'm "wasting my life".  Just worrying in general.

I'm really hoping this is just a phase.  That years and years of being institutionalized to perform, produce, be a good little worker bee have taken their toll on my psyche and I just need to reset back to a more normal way of looking at the world.

Did anyone else go through a detox phase from the workplace?  How long did it take to get over it?

Well, I think I am coping a little better.  I always took care of my grandson on Wednesdays from the time he was born until he went to kindergarten even though I was still working part-time.  I'm retired now and I have a new grandson and I am taking care of him one day a week also.  But, this summer I have my older grandson 2 days a week and both of them on Thursdays.  So, I think that helps with the feeling of accomplishment.  I really don't plan to do anything productive on those days, I just play with them and take my older grandson to the library once a week. 

In the fall, my husband and I are taking off again for 5 weeks in our camper to explore more of the US.  And in Jan and Feb, we are renting a place down in Florida to get out of the Michigan winters!  I am really interested to see how I feel when I don't have things that I have to do, like house maintenance.  I'm going to take my sewing machine and see if I can take a couple of classes at a quilt shop.  I actually think hubby is going to have more of a problem than me as he is very social and will be missing his pals. 

It's been really interesting to read all of the responses.  I've learned a lot from everyone who posted.  This is a great group!

                                                                                   Miss Prim

Cannot Wait!

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 933
  • Age: 54
  • Location: Canada
  • FIREd 2016 @ 49
Re: How to get over the feeling of having to accomplish something everyday?
« Reply #83 on: August 01, 2016, 08:39:35 AM »
I try to always put at least one thing on my To Do list each day.
But that's just so I'll have something to blow off if I want to!  😊