Hello all,
I've just passed my first six months since leaving my employer of many years, and I've been keeping track of general feelings and observations thus far so that I'd have something of substance to share here. I always enjoyed reading these kinds of updates from others as I was particularly curious of any surprises they may have experienced, things they wish they'd planned for and so forth. I might post another one of these after a year or more, and I expect those future updates will be shorter but more general and financial in nature as there'll have been more time for market fluctuations. So, on to the update ...
Summary:
I'm very happy for having left work, plain and simple. Retirement has been wonderful so far and I don't even feel like I've done that much, even though I've tackled a great many things that would have otherwise continued to be sidelined in lieu of work. Positive changes abound, and there haven't been any strong negatives but rather just some things to expect and be aware of which I'll elaborate in the items below. Overall I would encourage anyone with the means to retire early assuming that they're financially and mentally prepared to do so.
01 -- Perception of time has slowed way down
This has been the most profound observation thus far, and the first that I noticed. I left my employer in the early fall season, and that fall season has been the longest that I can remember. I got to see all of the leaves turning and see them often whilst going for daytime walks, hikes with my wife in the middle of the week, or doing yard work in the afternoons. The constancy and rigidity of my work schedule and routine really made time feel like it was always on fast-forward as compared to now. This has been a wonderful and unexpected phenomenon.
02 -- Only get two or things done per day rather than six or seven
I've got a never-ending list of things that I want or need to do, from my hobbies to fixing things around the house, and it seems that I only really get two, maybe three of them done on a given day, whereas I felt like I was knocking out a much greater number of 'to-dos' at work (granted, they were work-related). I think this is because the kinds of things I want to accomplish each day at home are much more varied, much more nebulous, and might involve more time figuring things out as I'm not as familiar with them (e.g. home repair stuff) or could require outside help and advice. It just plain takes longer, and I have to remind myself that I wouldn't even be attending to these wishes and needs except for perhaps one item during the weekend were I still working. So in that sense I'm killing it, but it's still a mental adjustment.
03 -- I feel grateful, lucky, blessed
This feeling comes up in unexpected bursts at random times. It's a very simple and very deep feeling of gratitude for even being able to step away from work and take a long break like this, and I hope that this won't wear off over time.
04 -- Routine largely unchanged
My general routine of being in bed early and up early is unchanged. I don't even set the alarm and I still generally wake up naturally by 6am (I was up at 5am with the alarm clock for decades, so technically this is "sleeping in" for me and still means a significant amount more sleep each night) and am off to the gym like I've always done. I do linger at the breakfast table longer and drink more coffee and read more news than I used to, but the beginning and end of each day is largely unchanged, and this feels good! Waking up naturally without being interrupted by the alarm clock is a huge improvement in and of itself.
05 -- Hobbies and interests are hugely important
I prepared for retirement over several years, and a lot of that preparation involved carefully thinking through my hobbies and interests, reaching back into the past and thinking of the things I used to enjoy doing but could do no longer because of work obligations, and then to the future for the things I've always wanted to do, and putting it all into a list (see Zelinski's "Get a Life Tree" concept). Boredom and an occasional sense of directionlessness does still occur, and that's when I'm grateful for the list -- I can always pick something, and if I feel like doing none of them then I get up and go for a walk in the daylight, or I close my eyes and drift off for an early afternoon snooze. The real point here is that I would definitely *not* want to go into retirement without such a plan; the transition from the highly structured world of paid employment to the unstructured and wide open field of retirement would be daunting if one went into it unprepared. Everyone in this forum and others repeats the advice about retiring to something and not from something, and while I understood that intellectually, now I really understand why that's so important. If I didn't have all the interests and hobbies that I do, I would have actually started to panic a little bit after only a couple of months.
06 -- Didn't realize how much I needed this break
It's easier to continue shouldering a heavy load in an unceasing routine if you just don't stop moving, and one can just keep on trudgin' along for a long time this way. I realize now that my RPMs of my body and mind were routinely in the yellow and touching the redline and that I just accepted that as being normal. A little while after departing my employer, it started to hit me how badly I needed this break. One time me and the wife were driving back into the city after a long day hike further out of town, and we hit normal rush hour traffic, the kind I'd have been in routinely when coming home from work. It really got under my skin in a strange way and kind of rattled me, like I was suddenly back in the work routine. I realized how badly it affected me, even lasting into the evening at home. I kind of had to talk myself back down and remember that I wasn't going back tomorrow, that I could relax. It wasn't even the traffic itself, but more like my brain believed I was going back to work tomorrow and just wasn't prepared for that feeling.
07 -- How did I ever have the time to work?
Many retirees often share this sentiment. I've hardly even started "vegging out"; I rarely ever watch TV during the day, have watched only a handful of all the films I told myself I'd watch whenever I want or any of that kind of thing. I've got loads of stuff to do each day, errands to run and things like that, and it all fills the day easily, to the point where sometimes there's a day where I don't have something planned and I think, "Ah, thank goodness, a day off." How ridiculous is that? Like with #05 above, I feel very grateful for this.
08 -- No financial concerns so far
Even at six months I feel it's too early to give a proper report on how cashflow is going so I'll post another update in the future, however we're significantly under my budget estimates so far. I am tracking a fresh twelve months of spending so that I'll have hard data to examine in early 2025. So far all lights are still 'green' as I extrapolate ahead and keep track of each month's expenses.
The mental shift of going from accumulation to decumulation has been smooth, too, as we spend from a built up cash position of several years' estimated expenses and otherwise leave investments untouched save for rebalancing when needed. Dividends are going into our checking account, so that inflow offers a lot of peace of mind in itself. I remember it felt far more dramatic to me a few years ago when I was making significant changes before retirement such as putting fresh savings toward building up our bonds and cash; that was when it felt crazy, like I was flipping the flow of money from 'forward' to 'reverse' or not taking each and every advantage by putting new money into stocks. Somehow now being retired and spending slowly from our 'stache just doesn't feel like a big deal, plus there have been no big surprises just yet. Again, I'll have to report back on this after a year of fresh budget tracking, not to mention in the future when things are rockier in the markets again, accounting for a year on the ACA and all of that stuff.
09 -- Still adjusting to the weekday vibe
This one was a little unexpected, but I don't like the 'vibe' of being out in the city during the weekdays as much as I thought I might. Folks are working their jobs and rushing about, there's more construction in progress everywhere (well, of course -- when did I *think* they did that stuff?), and there's a more even distribution of street people where you're never sure if they're homeless, panhandling, maybe a little crazy or just plain have nothing better to do. It is great to be able to run errands at a leisurely pace, go grocery shopping in the middle of a weekday and all of that for sure, but I otherwise just want to do my thing and then just get back home to my own projects again. Comparatively, I do really enjoy the weekend vibe when people are home, out walking their dogs later in the morning, coffee shops are full, and you can just feel that everyone is a little happier. This is overall a good thing: I have the convenience of the weekday to do whatever I need, and the weekends still feel like weekends. I like still feeling that kind of structure in the week.
10 -- Still can't let go of feeling like I'm slacking off from work
I originally thought this would have worn off after six months but now I'm figuring it'll be a year! I still have this ugly feeling that I'm taking too much time off work, that it's all just piling up and waiting for me as soon as I'm back. This feeling had been increasingly eroding at vacations and holiday time and made it difficult to relax, and it's still really ingrained in me. I even still get the 'Sunday dread' feeling at the end of each week; it's crazy. The difference now is that this unpleasant feeling can immediately be soothed when I remind myself that it's over and done, that I don't have to go back tomorrow. This back-and-forth is still constant and very much with me.
11 -- Core personality traits remain unchanged
No question, I am happier and generally more relaxed, however it's been interesting to realize that my core personality and traits are still there and unchanged. I'm a worrier and a planner but now I put those energies into different pursuits. I'm prone to depression or bouts of 'the blues' and rather surprisingly that is also unchanged: it comes and goes like it always has, though I do feel like I have more ways to defuse it, e.g. reminding myself that it's ok if I do nothing today, that it's ok for things to slip into tomorrow and that there's plenty of time, etc. My main point here is that even after you leave work, you'll still be yourself with all of your plusses and minuses, and you shouldn't expect they'll all be solved or change even after leaving your job behind. All that said, my wife will tell you that I'm palpably much happier than I've been in a very long time. I would say I still have my highs and lows, but that the highs last longer now while the lows aren't quite so low. I'll reiterate here that it's very important to have a plan for interests and hobbies as they really help me combat my natural tendency to sink into a slump.
Another interesting observation here is that being busy with work can really allow you to avoid dealing with personal issues and worries. I'd generally have been too busy to give into what I was feeling inside and just had to suck it up and be a professional. It's also possible to read too much news too often and let it send me into a spiral, and work allowed me to avoid that as well. So, kind of a funny trade-off and just something to be aware of: work does kind of shield you from things.
12 -- I love Mondays
While I still experience the 'Sunday dread', it immediately gets nullified when I remember that tomorrow is Monday, a chance to start again fresh on another week of my own interests and to-dos, a fresh calendar week to fill in as I see fit. My gym routine begins again, then coffee and reading the news with the cat before getting cleaned up and tackling the day.
13 -- Dinner reservations during the week are easy
I live in a city full of restaurants and oodles of people who like to eat at those restaurants, and it's generally wise to make a reservation a good week or more ahead if you're planning to dine on the weekends. Well, now we have the whole string of weekdays at our disposal, plus actually being around early enough to be able to make a 6pm reservation (previously I'd never have made it back into the city even before 7pm), and so my wife and I have been able to eat at some phenomenal restaurants by snatching an early reservation on a Tuesday night when their business is a little slower. And we're not eating in a big empty room as people still all quickly fill in around us, so it's the best of both worlds. Even so, we're still so used to cooking at home during the week that we actually don't take advantage of this often enough!
14 -- Reaction to my retirement has been surprisingly minimal
I felt very self-conscious at first about telling people I'd quit my job and had a whole story about how I'm just taking a break, a long sabbatical, a hiatus or whatever people want to call it, and I wouldn't bring it up unless forced to do so such as when someone asks what I do for a living. Well, to my surprise most people don't really have all that much to say in response and we soon move on to other subjects. The response I do get has also been overwhelmingly positive, sentiments like, "Good for you, everyone should do that at some point," and also the discovery that a lot of other people *have* taken at the very least a break from their profession for a time and for any number of reasons. But in general, people aren't all that interested and we just don't linger on the subject, to the point where I wonder what it was I was so concerned about in the first place. I've only had one person give me a somewhat negative response which was from a friend of mine who only commented, "Dude, I just don't know what you're gonna do with all that time ..." while also asking zero follow-up questions like if I had a plan (of course I do!) or how I accomplished this or whatever. I think he was just expressing his own inner concerns for himself, and I know others in the forum here have noticed a similar kind of 'emotional reflection' from some people.
15 -- Food goes fast / Bills are a little higher
I should have anticipated this one but overlooked it entirely: we sure do run out of food in a hurry now that I'm home so much of the time. I used to take advantage of ample coffee and snacks at work as well as being able to eat lunch on-site, and now my voracious ways are focused squarely on our own stores. Just something to keep in mind! The same is true for our utility bills which are on average about 20% higher than before my retirement. Not a huge deal, but just one of those little things I failed to anticipate when planning for the larger aspects of retirement. More lights are on more often, computers are used more often, the toilet gets flushed more often, more dishes get washed in the middle of the day, etc. One might also see this as an unwritten benefit or discount offered at their place of work!
16 -- It's chilly at home!
This is the first fall and winter season that I've spent so much time at home, and what do you know, it can be kinda cold when you're just at home doing your thing all day. We keep the thermostat at 68F at night, bumping it up to a luxurious 70F during the day if both me and my wife are home, and if you're not doing something physically active then even this can still feel chilly at times. My office at work was pretty warm by comparison, I was wearing more clothing, I was probably moving about the building a bit more, and I had a pretty active commute involving walking, bicycling, lots of stairs in and out of the subway on either end, then a short drive and another walk, so that always had me warmed me up at the start and end of each day. Anyway, it's all just something to anticipate and adjust to: I now wear more layers when around the house, and I can always suit up and go for a nice winter walk in the glorious daylight now, and that's more than enough to make the house feel just right once more.
17 -- There's always tomorrow
It's taken me until very recently to really internalize this as I my nature is to constantly plan ahead and worry about lack of time, and working really reinforced that mindset. Now if something is taking me longer than expected or I realize I won't be able to finish it today, I feel almost a sense of pressure relief as I realize it can just slip into tomorrow and that that's perfectly ok. My work involved unchanging delivery deadlines several years into the future for each project, and everything else was working back from that date to find space to accomplish the necessary necessaries, plus constant readjusting and hustling if things weren't proceeding as planned. That culture is still very much in my bones in a deep way. This new sense of "it's ok, this can wait until tomorrow" is like a cooling balm on a scalding burn, and I'm only just starting to get used to it even now.
I also still have the occasional sleepless night, but now instead of burning up with panic about how bad I need to get to sleep and how am I going to make it through tomorrow and all that drama, I know that I can just tiptoe out of the bedroom and downstairs to the couch where our cat is more than happy to curl up on my chest while I read for a bit until I drift off again, and I can just catch a nap the next afternoon. I cannot overstate what a constant relief this is, this feeling of being able to let go and let the schedule slide when needed.
18 -- Keeping a schedule is still important
I'm still happiest when I keep to some sort of schedule, generally timeblocking my days (see Cal Newport's book 'Deep Work', his podcast or any of his writings) so I make sure to devote specific time to my hobbies, planning when I'm going to run errands or attend to chores around the house. Longer breakfasts at home are great, but at a certain point in the morning I want to get up and get moving, and I actually enjoy treating my list of wishes and to-dos as my 'day job' now, disappearing into my home office by a certain hour in the morning, eating lunch around the same time as I'm accustomed and so forth. What's great is that I can keep that structure in my life, but also am still available to start cooking dinner together with my wife at a much more humane time than I ever could before, so it's the best of all worlds.
It's also easy to have 30+ things I want to do all rattling around in my head and end up randomly bouncing around between each of them, barely scratching the surface or making any real progress. It's far better to timeblock, i.e. set a time and duration, and then do those things one at a time, steadily and to completion. Cal Newport's slow productivity principles apply here as well. Some people may read this and think, "But I want to retire so that I don't have a schedule anymore!" Of course that's fine if that works well for you! I still need some kind of structure or framework for my own life. Just keep this in mind when paid employment is behind you and in case you feel that lack of structure ... lacking. I think this one could surprise some people.
19 -- Feel like I'm just getting started
It's now six months since I departed my employer, and it truly feels like I'm only getting started with this retirement thing. The start of 2024 especially, getting past the holidays and all that, also felt like a significant milestone where I was truly putting this plan (i.e. the to-do lists and schedules mentioned above) into action across the blank canvas of a new year. I had a phone call not too long ago with a contractor with whom I would regularly keep in touch because I realized I hadn't told him of my departure, and so he wanted to catch up and hear some details. I think he assumed I was leaving my employer and immediately seeking new employment, so he was offering a lot of helpful advice as to how I might approach contracting or what kinds of new employers I should consider pursuing with my skill set. His intentions were good so I listened to what he had to say and just let him know that I was going to keep taking a break for a while longer, but inside I felt almost a feeling of revulsion, almost traumatic, like the thought of going back to work (or at least the same kind of work) was just way, way too soon. It surprised me how immediate this feeling was. It suddenly felt as if I'd only just left my job a week ago and that I hadn't had the chance to truly rest up and heal. At that moment the many posts I've read here about how long decompression can take really hit home. This is gonna take a while, and that's also been wonderful to realize.
Cheers everyone, and here's to the forum and your shared wisdom,
Markus
