Author Topic: golden rubber band anyone ?  (Read 6760 times)

rob/d

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golden rubber band anyone ?
« on: January 28, 2016, 09:18:24 AM »
 So my wife has gone back to work after 4 months of retirement !
 Her old boss begged her back with the promise of many buckets of gold and shiny things . A deal has been done to work there a month, just to get them out of the crap , maybe 6 weeks .
 Here's the point , she hates it , hates it bad .
 Nothing's changed there , everybody is unhappy  , always moaning , it's depressing. She's got a cold straight away from being stuck inside with everyone. All the other bad stuff in her life is back.
 So it will only be 4 weeks and adios amigos , no begging will keep her there longer.
 Just saying be carefull about thinking you can get back into the circus !

soccerluvof4

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2016, 10:20:35 AM »
yea i would think after 4 months it be hard as she probably was getting through the whole decompression stage.

rob/d

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2016, 01:00:14 PM »
 Here's the thing soccerluv , we are between houses at the moment .Not much decompressing but happily working hard for ourselves. We are renting a house after we sold our big house last year and have bought a tiny house built in the 60"s needing everything doing to it . I am handy but wifey is /was an office  zombie , pale and lacking in strength. Now  after 2 months of housebashing with me  she is stronger and tougher and she has been loving it . She's missing it. She wants it back.

frompa

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2016, 01:08:09 PM »
I read this and think, "Why doesn't she just say 'no'?"  Even after having said yes, there's nothing to stop her from going in and saying that she's reconsidered.  Period.  She needn't give an explanation.  And if she WANTS to give an explanation, let her say that she underestimated the difficulty of returning to work, or that she's needed at home, or that unexpected things arose in her personal life, or WHATever.  It sounds like she's allowed herself to be bullied into a very unhealthy and unwelcome return.  Just, "no."  And if she really can't muster her way up to that, how about she practices "never again."   

rob/d

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2016, 01:28:04 PM »
 Not quite frompa . She thought she could go back and do it for the extra cash and  for helping them out . After a bit of ego stroking and a big carrot dangled  she took the bait as it were.
 What she didn't get , and this was my original point , is that she has changed even in a few months . We both have. This has been an excellent lesson for us .

frompa

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2016, 03:56:00 PM »
Intriguing!

Dicey

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2016, 05:51:33 PM »
I understand that when you're in the midst of renos and materials costs are really adding up that the influx of cash probably looked mighty tempting. If anything, it's a great lesson for you both and you'll appreciate retirement even more when she's through.

If there's any way you can do it, I'd meekly suggest that you do anything and everything you can to make the rest of her sentence term as easy as possible. Be the one who cleans the house/does the laundry/cooks the meals for a little while and I'm sure there will be handsome dividends;-p

rob/d

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2016, 12:23:52 AM »
 Hi diane .
 Our rented is a 10 minute walk for her to work. Our new house is 16 miles away . As you can see ,when finished, the house move will     be the beginning and completion of everything .
 It was so tempting to do the extra month at work but in the end not such a great idea.
 I was just trying to point out that honeytrap.
 I try to be a modern man diane , the only thing i wont/cant do is ironing clothes .
« Last Edit: January 29, 2016, 12:27:31 AM by rob/d »

Dicey

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2016, 07:25:03 AM »
I've got a news flash for you: most women don't iron voluntarily either! My MIL has Alzheimer's and lives with us. She likes to iron, but I'm afraid she'll burn the house down. We hide the iron in our closet, so she doesn't decide to iron without supervision. I'm here to tell you that watching someone iron is almost worse. Yup, not much ironing going on around our house either.

Observation: When I used to sell men's clothing at Nordstrom, and guys asked how to care for their dress shirts, I'd tell them that they should send their shirts out to be laundered*. If they mentioned the expense, I'd tell them they'd save more money if they packed their lunch instead of ironing their shirts. About every twentieth person would say "Oh, but I find ironing so therapeutic." Face palm. Ugh!

*If you've never worn a freshly laundered (not dry cleaned) and pressed 100% cotton shirt, it's a whole 'nother animal. Commercial laundries use different ironing systems and press the shirts while they're still damp. It completely changes the feel of the fabric, imparting a wonderful, crisp, brand-new shirt feeling every time. It's just not the same as what you can achieve at home. BTW, it's not the starch, which is bad, kills shirts, and should never be used, it's the process. End of sidebar.

Good thing her sentence is almost completed. I suspect the distance alone will quash any further temptation to return to the old stomping grounds and trough. Even though this month is proving to be a total PITA, I think the value of the experience for both of you is worth its weight in gold. I hope your renos go well and stay comfortably within budget. Best of luck to you in your new, improved home and life!

soccerluvof4

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2016, 11:05:24 AM »
I've got a news flash for you: most women don't iron voluntarily either! My MIL has Alzheimer's and lives with us. She likes to iron, but I'm afraid she'll burn the house down. We hide the iron in our closet, so she doesn't decide to iron without supervision. I'm here to tell you that watching someone iron is almost worse. Yup, not much ironing going on around our house either.

Observation: When I used to sell men's clothing at Nordstrom, and guys asked how to care for their dress shirts, I'd tell them that they should send their shirts out to be laundered*. If they mentioned the expense, I'd tell them they'd save more money if they packed their lunch instead of ironing their shirts. About every twentieth person would say "Oh, but I find ironing so therapeutic." Face palm. Ugh!

*If you've never worn a freshly laundered (not dry cleaned) and pressed 100% cotton shirt, it's a whole 'nother animal. Commercial laundries use different ironing systems and press the shirts while they're still damp. It completely changes the feel of the fabric, imparting a wonderful, crisp, brand-new shirt feeling every time. It's just not the same as what you can achieve at home. BTW, it's not the starch, which is bad, kills shirts, and should never be used, it's the process. End of sidebar.

Good thing her sentence is almost completed. I suspect the distance alone will quash any further temptation to return to the old stomping grounds and trough. Even though this month is proving to be a total PITA, I think the value of the experience for both of you is worth its weight in gold. I hope your renos go well and stay comfortably within budget. Best of luck to you in your new, improved home and life!



Join the Navy...learn how to iron shirts with no iron but instead a plastic soap bar holder and how to fold with no wrinkles :-)   My DW is still shocked how much more I can get in a suitcase and fold clothes so they dont wrinkle.  Been doing it for almost 30 years.

arebelspy

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2016, 07:24:22 AM »
What she didn't get , and this was my original point , is that she has changed even in a few months . We both have. This has been an excellent lesson for us .

Thanks for sharing!  Very interesting indeed.

I think most would be amazed if we had to go back and put up with that stuff again, that we'd wonder how we did it, and how did we not see how icky it was.

Well, just a bit longer, some golden blood money, and then freedom!  :D
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Tyler

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2016, 11:25:20 AM »

I think most would be amazed if we had to go back and put up with that stuff again, that we'd wonder how we did it, and how did we not see how icky it was.


No kidding.

After a full year off, I recently started working part time at my old employer.  In my case it wasn't so much of a golden rubber band as a golden opportunity -- they called me, and I knew I was in a good negotiating position.  After careful consideration of what I enjoyed about my job and what I did not, I named my terms (including only being available three days a week).  They agreed, and have been pretty good so far about respecting my boundaries.  If it ever turns into a net negative, I can always go back to being a full-time retiree.   

In any case, the most surreal part about being in the office again is watching some of my coworkers completely dedicating their lives to projects and seeing how much the stress is affecting them.  That used to be me.  At first I felt a little guilty handing off work to others before my 4-day weekends, but eventually I realized that so much of work stress is really a choice.  For me, FI is about empowering yourself to truly act in your own best interests by building your finances in a way so that you are prepared for any consequence.  I choose to not allow work forces to take over my life and happiness but am happy to help and earn some money provided work also meets my expectations.  With that mindset a little work isn't such a bad thing.  If anything, it's empowering. 
« Last Edit: February 07, 2016, 12:02:43 PM by Tyler »

Retire-Canada

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2016, 06:02:34 PM »
At first I felt a little guilty handing off work to others before my 4-day weekends, but eventually I realized that so much of work stress is really a choice.

I'm working 3 days a week at the moment. For those who don't have a super big stash and don't want to wait to have some FIRE benefits switching to PT is pretty great. Stuff that was awful at 40- 60hrs/wk becomes a lot less of an issue at 20-30hrs a week.

The key to being low stress if having enough fuck you money to walk away from any particular job/contract and know you'll be 100% fine. That's a much easier target to reach than the 2%-4% WR you hear a lot of people literally fighting for their lives to achieve.

Not saying working FT and trying to get the whole enchilada is a bad idea....just that downshifting to PT is a worthwhile option to consider.

Glad you are enjoying PT work. At 3 days a week you must be covering all your expenses and probably still adding to the 'stash! :)

Need2Save

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #13 on: February 08, 2016, 10:26:14 AM »
Thank you so much for posting.  This is a good lesson.  Once freedom is gained, your tolerance level for such insanity changes too!

Little Nell

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #14 on: February 08, 2016, 10:16:59 PM »
I've got a news flash for you: most women don't iron voluntarily either! My MIL has Alzheimer's and lives with us. She likes to iron, but I'm afraid she'll burn the house down. We hide the iron in our closet, so she doesn't decide to iron without supervision. I'm here to tell you that watching someone iron is almost worse. Yup, not much ironing going on around our house either.

Observation: When I used to sell men's clothing at Nordstrom, and guys asked how to care for their dress shirts, I'd tell them that they should send their shirts out to be laundered*. If they mentioned the expense, I'd tell them they'd save more money if they packed their lunch instead of ironing their shirts. About every twentieth person would say "Oh, but I find ironing so therapeutic." Face palm. Ugh!

*If you've never worn a freshly laundered (not dry cleaned) and pressed 100% cotton shirt, it's a whole 'nother animal. Commercial laundries use different ironing systems and press the shirts while they're still damp. It completely changes the feel of the fabric, imparting a wonderful, crisp, brand-new shirt feeling every time. It's just not the same as what you can achieve at home. BTW, it's not the starch, which is bad, kills shirts, and should never be used, it's the process. End of sidebar.

Good thing her sentence is almost completed. I suspect the distance alone will quash any further temptation to return to the old stomping grounds and trough. Even though this month is proving to be a total PITA, I think the value of the experience for both of you is worth its weight in gold. I hope your renos go well and stay comfortably within budget. Best of luck to you in your new, improved home and life!
I have very happy memories of watching my grandmother iron. Her hands were so skillful. I find ironing enjoyable. I just don't have much time to enjoy it!

MVal

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #15 on: February 09, 2016, 03:40:32 PM »
I've got a news flash for you: most women don't iron voluntarily either! My MIL has Alzheimer's and lives with us. She likes to iron, but I'm afraid she'll burn the house down. We hide the iron in our closet, so she doesn't decide to iron without supervision. I'm here to tell you that watching someone iron is almost worse. Yup, not much ironing going on around our house either.

Observation: When I used to sell men's clothing at Nordstrom, and guys asked how to care for their dress shirts, I'd tell them that they should send their shirts out to be laundered*. If they mentioned the expense, I'd tell them they'd save more money if they packed their lunch instead of ironing their shirts. About every twentieth person would say "Oh, but I find ironing so therapeutic." Face palm. Ugh!

*If you've never worn a freshly laundered (not dry cleaned) and pressed 100% cotton shirt, it's a whole 'nother animal. Commercial laundries use different ironing systems and press the shirts while they're still damp. It completely changes the feel of the fabric, imparting a wonderful, crisp, brand-new shirt feeling every time. It's just not the same as what you can achieve at home. BTW, it's not the starch, which is bad, kills shirts, and should never be used, it's the process. End of sidebar.

Good thing her sentence is almost completed. I suspect the distance alone will quash any further temptation to return to the old stomping grounds and trough. Even though this month is proving to be a total PITA, I think the value of the experience for both of you is worth its weight in gold. I hope your renos go well and stay comfortably within budget. Best of luck to you in your new, improved home and life!



Join the Navy...learn how to iron shirts with no iron but instead a plastic soap bar holder and how to fold with no wrinkles :-)   My DW is still shocked how much more I can get in a suitcase and fold clothes so they dont wrinkle.  Been doing it for almost 30 years.

Can you make a youtube video of this technique? Sounds cool!

rob/d

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #16 on: February 13, 2016, 03:19:36 AM »
 She's done !
 In the end four weeks did it , work done , paid up , finished.
 She is as happy today as she was when she finished in september last year , and without that niggling of doubt  feeling  she had  last time.
 Would she go back again , i asked her ? 
 Errr , long pause , very soft maybe .
 We'll see , as i said , it's funny how you get out of the work habit , i think Tylers comments sum it up quite well .

arebelspy

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #17 on: February 13, 2016, 09:23:11 AM »
Congrats on her Re-ERing!  :D
I am a former teacher who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and am now settled with three kids.
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Exflyboy

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Re: golden rubber band anyone ?
« Reply #18 on: February 14, 2016, 12:17:47 AM »
Hahahah.. going back to work.. I couldn't imagine.. Cough!

See the title of my Journal to see how well RE worked for me..:)