I FIREd just over 2 years ago, from a very long, very crazy career. The last 12 years, I worked for good money/benefits but for a frankly awful department with lots of bullying and bad management.
It took me about 9 months out to even remember what it feels like to not be under constant stress. And now at 2-ish years out, I'm starting to feel like a whole person again and dealing with the bad stuff (depression and anxiety).
I quit smoking, lost almost half my body weight (got really fat from the stress and depression), and worked on learning how to eat healthy and exercising - now everything health-wise is perfect, and I'm in better shape than I was in my teens. Joined a gym, lifting weights, biking, swimming, yoga, walking/hiking, even playing racquetball (badly, with lots of made up rules, but the husband and I enjoy it more that way).
The term you were looking for if no one mentioned it yet is "institutionalized" - where you've been on the inside so long, you can't deal with the outside world.
Defining yourself through your job is pretty common. I had a bit of a breakdown dealing with that even though I was quite aware of the angles, but I'm at peace with who I am regardless of past or future boxes checked. You can be whatever you want now - a golfer, a beer brewer, a gardener, a historian, a musician... I'd choose all of the above. Just be you and define yourself by how you feel that day. It's glorious when that part finally sinks in.