FIRE - Do you tell people or not ?

[ixtap]

Other then that I've only been asked to physically help out by other people because "you're not working" and thus free and available to do all kinds of crap I didn't want to do. While I found it easy to say "no" to any financial request by playing the poor starving waif bit, I had a hard time saying no when asked to help do stuff. So I did lie and say I was still working oncall (which I had done for awhile) and wasn't often available to help out with things.

First I could help with anything because I didn't have kids, now I can take responsibility for anything because I'm not working. Sorry folks, there are reasons for both of those things and you don't get to run my life just because it looks different than yours... Our roommate really resented it and would spit out "it isn't like you work" anytime we asked her to take responsibility for anything (which wasn't often, but wow, basic repairs need to happen honey, and your stuff is in the way).

[charis]

This is exactly the issue. We already have family members making demands on our time that aren't even possible. My spouse is expected/asked to do work for other family members during the time that our young children are not in school (summer and breaks). Obviously my spouse (a teacher) is caring for them, but no one in the family ever recognizes this. It's so weird. Simultaneously we've been asked to contribute to other family members's financial needs. Even before we could actually afford to do so. Technically we still can't afford to do so because we are funding our retirement and childrens' college funds.

That is the very important reason why we don't tell people.