Author Topic: FIRE Do-over  (Read 6465 times)

IslandFiGirl

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FIRE Do-over
« on: March 17, 2021, 09:45:39 PM »
I FIRE'd last year, of course COVID ruined pretty much ALL my plans, so toward the end of the year, I thought, oh, hey, maybe I should just find a job since I'm not doing much else.  You know how pretty much everybody here says that getting a job after FIRE'ing pretty much sucks?  Well, they're right!  I immediately felt the pinch, I lost all my free time and that made me completely miserable.  There were things I wanted to do and couldn't do because I was scheduled to work.  After almost a year of complete freedom, this was a real shock to the system.  Having income was cool, but when the stock market can change your net worth by more than a year's worth of salary in a day, it's kind of hard to trade your valuable time for what feels like a pittance.

It's been a weird year for me in other ways.  My older daughter moved far away to be with her fiance, and my middle child just left for boot camp a few days ago.  I have cried a lot lately.  It feels like what has been my purpose in life is pretty much over and that's really hard to accept.  I kind of look around and think...so...what should I do?  I have one high schooler left at home but she will be off to college in a year...so really...what am I supposed to be doing here???  I don't really have any idea, but I do know that my days of tolerating work that I really hate are over.  Sometimes you have to do stuff to realize, nah, that's not for me.  I feel like I complete spoiled brat, but this is where I am in life and I'm trying hard to accept it.  Not gonna lie, the tipping point for me quitting my last job was my worry that if my son called from boot camp and I couldn't answer the phone because I had to work, I would lose my mind!  I know what it's like to be in boot camp and call home and you just pray someone that loves you will answer! 

Anyway, that's my story for today.  I have no idea what I'm going to get myself into next, but whatever it is, it's going to be fun!

Dicey

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2021, 07:26:55 AM »
I'm in for the fun!

DaMa

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2021, 08:01:05 AM »
Last May, I got a recruiter call on a job that was right up my alley.  Feeling depressed and bored by COVID shutdown, I thought it would be a good idea to have some structure and goals in my life.  So I did two phone interviews with the recruiters and updated my resume.  They were presenting me to the client the next day, a Friday.  Then I heard nothing.  Nada.  Which reminded me just how much I HATED corporate life.  I took my LinkedIn profile down after that.   No more temptation.

They called me again a few months later.   I mentioned that I wasn't happy with the radio silence on the previous opportunity.  She said she tried to get a hold of me.  Riiiiight.  Buh-bye.

Enough $ is enough.  Freedom is far more valuable. 

Malcat

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2021, 08:06:15 AM »
Huh, I briefly went back to work about 6 months after retiring and I had a great time. It didn't work out with my business partner, and full time was definitely too much work, but I really enjoyed it. I think it depends on the work.

However, I also wasn't bored while not working either.  Covid hasn't really slowed me down in terms of what I wanted to do with my time off. Sure, I had a trip that I had to cancel, but otherwise, I've really enjoyed myself, and kept quite busy.

chevy1956

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2021, 08:59:27 PM »
I'm in a different situation but I get where you are coming from. I don't want to work again but reading Dr Doom's blog last post has made me realize anything can happen. I suppose it's just a day at a time.

IslandFiGirl

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2021, 08:26:08 AM »
I'm in for the fun!

LOL Dicey, you are my kind of people.  I love your outlook on life!

IslandFiGirl

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2021, 08:31:03 AM »
Last May, I got a recruiter call on a job that was right up my alley.  Feeling depressed and bored by COVID shutdown, I thought it would be a good idea to have some structure and goals in my life.  So I did two phone interviews with the recruiters and updated my resume.  They were presenting me to the client the next day, a Friday.  Then I heard nothing.  Nada.  Which reminded me just how much I HATED corporate life.  I took my LinkedIn profile down after that.   No more temptation.

They called me again a few months later.   I mentioned that I wasn't happy with the radio silence on the previous opportunity.  She said she tried to get a hold of me.  Riiiiight.  Buh-bye.

Enough $ is enough.  Freedom is far more valuable.

So true.  I'm going to take full advantage of my freedom now while I'm youngish, and if for some reason I have to work again to support myself....well, ok, no big deal, I know I have it in me.

IslandFiGirl

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2021, 08:43:00 AM »
I'm in a different situation but I get where you are coming from. I don't want to work again but reading Dr Doom's blog last post has made me realize anything can happen. I suppose it's just a day at a time.

Ya know what, it really is just a day at a time.  That's what I'm liking about my new attitude about life...if tomorrow I want to do something totally different, then that's exactly what I'll do, and if a new challenge comes along, ok, I'm ready.  I don't know who Dr Doom is, but I feel like I may not want to know what that blog post said!

IslandFiGirl

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2021, 08:46:08 AM »
Huh, I briefly went back to work about 6 months after retiring and I had a great time. It didn't work out with my business partner, and full time was definitely too much work, but I really enjoyed it. I think it depends on the work.

However, I also wasn't bored while not working either.  Covid hasn't really slowed me down in terms of what I wanted to do with my time off. Sure, I had a trip that I had to cancel, but otherwise, I've really enjoyed myself, and kept quite busy.

You must have chosen your job a little more wisely than I did!  I only got bored because I hate the winter and being cold, so I usually stay home if it's cold.  Next winter, things will change!

Malcat

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2021, 09:02:47 AM »
Huh, I briefly went back to work about 6 months after retiring and I had a great time. It didn't work out with my business partner, and full time was definitely too much work, but I really enjoyed it. I think it depends on the work.

However, I also wasn't bored while not working either.  Covid hasn't really slowed me down in terms of what I wanted to do with my time off. Sure, I had a trip that I had to cancel, but otherwise, I've really enjoyed myself, and kept quite busy.

You must have chosen your job a little more wisely than I did!  I only got bored because I hate the winter and being cold, so I usually stay home if it's cold.  Next winter, things will change!

Statistical probability has it that I probably live somewhere colder than you do, and I used to hate winter too, but I invested in really good outdoor gear, and I comfortably get outside almost every day all winter long, even down to minus 40 C/F. I'm seriously a cold wimp and keep my home toasty enough to walk around in a t-shirt, but with the right gear, the biggest risk is actually overheating.

If my body allowed it, I would be outside for at least 3 hours every day.

Nangirl17

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2021, 10:18:13 AM »
I can totally relate. I went back to work in January after a year long sabbatical (planned). I do generally enjoy my job, it is generally emotionally rewarding and it provides some socialization, which I've been grateful for these days, but it has been so much harder than I expected in so many ways.

Besides the fact that working in PPE is difficult and seems so dystopian and communication with patients is much more difficult, being in the working world seems to amplify the COVID-ness of it all. In my home, everything feels normal, and being 'out there' screams "the sky is falling!" To my coworkers who have dealt with this for months, it is all normal, so I feel isolated without them to commiserate with.

Not being able to dictate what I want to do and when I want to do it is the biggest loss, and I'm not really coping that well with it. I haven't hit my stride in terms of coordinating my life - working out the balance of work, housekeeping, parenting/homeschooling, and my own personal pursuits. Part of me really wants to spend a bunch of money to give myself a tangible 'reward' - something I can 'hold' that makes it worth it to lose so much, but that doesn't make sense - it wouldn't help my goals of not having to work, and I also know that it wouldn't satisfy anyway.

Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to agree with you that yes, going back to work sucks!! Congrats on going back to FIRE!


rae09

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #11 on: March 22, 2021, 07:38:38 PM »
I'm with you. I was going crazy on my 4th month and thought I should find a job. Well I did and it's not worth it. I'm slowly transitioning my clients and I think I'll follow you to FIRE for the 2nd time.

Congrats on your 2nd FIRE. Enjoy whatever you are doing!

IslandFiGirl

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2021, 09:29:18 PM »
I'm with you. I was going crazy on my 4th month and thought I should find a job. Well I did and it's not worth it. I'm slowly transitioning my clients and I think I'll follow you to FIRE for the 2nd time.

Congrats on your 2nd FIRE. Enjoy whatever you are doing!

Thanks!  I am definitely enjoying and appreciating the freedom more this time around.  I told my best friend the other day that I spent my whole life putting work first and having such a strong work ethic and now I'm just trying to accept my life as it is and be ok with not working.  It's an interesting change in perspective.  I'm much happier not working, I hope I remember that the next time I think I need to work!

LightTripper

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #13 on: March 23, 2021, 04:34:42 AM »
I think it's a massive adjustment from working to not - especially when you've had a very strong work ethic.  And then with your children getting more independent too - that's another big adjustment that I know takes some time for most parents, so you're doing both at once!

I never really bought that your children give you "purpose" with a capital P (surely that's just kicking the can down the road - sort of expecting them to have purpose on your behalf, so that raising them becomes purpose for you?) but they certainly keep you busy and give you structure and things to do!

I was supposed to be going part time last year, finally doing it this year, and planning to reduce hours more (or stop altogether?) later in the year: so at a somewhat similar stage to you though I was an OLD parent so my kids are younger.  I already can tell I'm having a hard time letting go of work, so am hoping hopping on to follow your story will give me some of the gumption to make changes and explore new things that I sorely need!

Josiecat23503

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #14 on: March 23, 2021, 10:34:06 AM »
@IslandFiGirl, I am so glad you wrote this because it resonates strongly.

I FIRE'd in September and have struggled a little with what comes next.   So many of the fun and exciting things (or even boring, mundane things....) I thought I'd be doing have yet to come to fruition due to a combination of COVID and winter time.  I have also flirted with the idea of doing some work, either PT, or consulting but in the end, the freedom of completely following my own schedule is so seductive, that I cannot pull that trigger.  Now that the seasons are changing and the weather is getting better, I feel much more excited about my FIRED status and ready to go outside and play--and really glad there is no one expecting me at work...

My husband FIRE'd 2.5 years ahead of me and has been an amazing resource and sounding board as I have progressed through all of the various phases of mourning for lack of a better construct.  He warned me not to rush into a job or anything too soon and he cautioned me that once I got used to the freedom, I would NOT be willing to give it up for almost anything.   I'm not about to tell him this, but, he was right. 

I hope your journey brings you joy. 

Zette

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MarciaB

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #16 on: March 23, 2021, 06:50:33 PM »
I've been fired for 4 years (happily, traveling, doing family stuff, etc.) but last year got a great opportunity to work with a start-up doing work I really love...and it's been great. And with the pandemic stay-at-home, it's been a life saver keeping me from intense cabin fever and high-level frustration.

But I think we're all saying the same thing - and that is that FIRE gives us the opportunity to make whatever choices we want (and unmake them at any time), and that's so very very fabulous. I couldn't be more grateful.

hydra

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #17 on: April 01, 2021, 10:22:43 PM »
For those of you who went back to work after FIREing, did you get the same kind of job you had before or something totally different? If you were doing the same kind of job, did you get paid about the same as before you FIRE'd or a lot less?

Reading this thread, it underscores why I'm afraid of FIREing even though I dream about it almost every day. About five years ago, I got a job that (due to RSUs) pays way more than the typical market rate for what I do. If I were to retire and then decide a few months later that I miss working, I would have walked away from a huge pile of cash and work that I mostly don't mind doing.

I know I will eventually have to leave this high-pay job. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life there, after all! The longer I wait, the more money I'll be walking away from. It won't get any easier, so maybe I should just freaking do it. Ahhhhh, I'm such a wimp.

Malcat

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #18 on: April 02, 2021, 07:39:14 AM »
For those of you who went back to work after FIREing, did you get the same kind of job you had before or something totally different? If you were doing the same kind of job, did you get paid about the same as before you FIRE'd or a lot less?

Reading this thread, it underscores why I'm afraid of FIREing even though I dream about it almost every day. About five years ago, I got a job that (due to RSUs) pays way more than the typical market rate for what I do. If I were to retire and then decide a few months later that I miss working, I would have walked away from a huge pile of cash and work that I mostly don't mind doing.

I know I will eventually have to leave this high-pay job. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life there, after all! The longer I wait, the more money I'll be walking away from. It won't get any easier, so maybe I should just freaking do it. Ahhhhh, I'm such a wimp.

Once I stopped working and stopped making money, I was finally able to stop caring about how much I might make from anything.

It just doesn't matter anymore. What matters to me now is whether or not I love the work.
My business opportunity was running a business, so in my field, but extremely different work, and had it worked out, I would have quickly ended up with an 8 figure NW.

However, the work ended up being awful, the business wasn't what I expected at all, I had been thoroughly misled, and not on purpose, which actually made it worse. The amount of money didn't matter, if anything, it was actually stressing me out because I like my life so much and couldn't come up with a way to spend it that would actually make a significant difference for me. It felt like a waste.

All I care about now is the caliber of the work, and what the work experience will be like.

I actually have multiple high paying options available to me. I developed several lucrative side hustles while I was working, which I could go back to in the blink of an eye if I felt like it, but they're are aspects of those jobs I just don't love. Some amazing jobs pay a lot, some amazing jobs pay very little. I'll take whatever income goes with the work u like most.

I'm actually currently considering doing some extensive retraining and I'm seriously debating between two careers. One where I can make six figures working part time from home and one where I'll make next to nothing and can never work from home. And I'm seriously leaning towards the latter option.

DaMa

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #19 on: April 02, 2021, 09:27:08 AM »
I have an interview today that I almost cancelled several times, because I don't know if I actually want to work.
I'm going to keep this in mind: 

All I care about now is the caliber of the work, and what the work experience will be like.

Thanks, @Malcat

hydra

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #20 on: April 04, 2021, 11:24:25 PM »
I'm actually currently considering doing some extensive retraining and I'm seriously debating between two careers. One where I can make six figures working part time from home and one where I'll make next to nothing and can never work from home. And I'm seriously leaning towards the latter option.

Why do you want to work at all? Are you bored? If so, is it because of Covid or retirement itself?

There are aspects of those jobs I just don't love.

Don't all jobs kind of suck?

I've been thinking about this all weekend. I went on a road trip to some foothills, camped in a free campground, danced mesmerized on the bank of a river, not caring who might be watching, the lyrics of every song on my playlist telling me to retire. Spent a perfect day taking walks, sleeping in the open air, staring at the river, reading a wonderful novel. But after a couple of days of those activities, I got bored and started to resent the owners of the ranging cows for letting them roam free, unfenced to poop in the river. There's always something.

Dreading Monday, but still scared. This feels like the most difficult decision of my life. I dread the instant loss of power I'll feel on my first day of joblessness. In the last 20+ years, I've never left a job without having another one already lined up.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2021, 11:52:39 PM by hydra »

Josiecat23503

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #21 on: April 05, 2021, 04:46:53 AM »
@hydra: No longer dreading Mondays (the Sunday afternoon sinking feeling) is the best part of FIRE.  The freedom you describe of dancing on the waters edge listening to music is there EVERY DAY.  It takes at least six months to decompress and to change your relationship with time.  While working, you have to compress all of your recreation (camping, exercise, coffee dates), chores (yardwork, grocery shopping) and sleep/rest/restoration into your evenings and weekends so there is always a feeling of pressure to "get it all done".  Once you retire, and every day is the same, that pressure goes away and time seems to slow down and expand. 

As far as going from being someone of status to "gen-pop", it is a transition.  You will have to define yourself on your own terms, not on some imposed structure or hierarchy.  Again, there is freedom in this.  There are no longer pressures to dress a certain way, act a certain way or even drive a certain car. 

As @Malcat noted, being FIRE'd allows you to evaluate what you want your life to look like anew.  It may involve some level of paid work, but the "paid" part may become less important to you as you redefine yourself.


meadow lark

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #22 on: April 06, 2021, 08:29:45 AM »
Getting ready to start FIRE 2.0 myself.
That is rough having your kids leave the nest at the same time!  I remember that sense of ‘who am I?’  On the other side of it - I love not having a dependent child - love it!  Good luck!  I hope you have that same experience.
 

friedmmj

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #23 on: April 07, 2021, 08:22:51 PM »
I'm retiring in 10 months and the reason I don't expect to 2nd guess myself leading up to the big day is that I've already retired on the job.  I'm not proud of this because I'm well paid and have always been a hard worker.  Over the past few years, once I targeted my date, I found that I detached from work little by little until I got to the point that I cannot even force myself to care about it any more.

FR2000EE

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #24 on: April 09, 2021, 01:49:34 AM »
I retired Feb. 2020. And the transition to no structure hasn't been the easiest for me. Sometimes during the COVID lockdown, I kept thinking maybe I should get another job or go back to my old one. Although, it is usually because I haven't been too connected to people, since I live alone. When I have enough social interactions, I am totally satisfied not working and never think about getting another job.

Today, I was at a AA meeting and a couple of the members were wearing their work costume's and I internally smiled, grateful I didn't have to skip lunch or worry about going back to the office. Instead, I went to a leisurely lunch then came home and thoroughly enjoyed watching The Masters. But even though I had a great day, I still craved more interaction in the evening that I didn't seek out, I reached for food instead, which made me feel crappy. So, I still have a lot to figure out in retirement. When I think about going back to work, I sit down and wait till the desire passes.


friedmmj

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #25 on: April 09, 2021, 11:30:01 AM »
I retired Feb. 2020. And the transition to no structure hasn't been the easiest for me. Sometimes during the COVID lockdown, I kept thinking maybe I should get another job or go back to my old one. Although, it is usually because I haven't been too connected to people, since I live alone. When I have enough social interactions, I am totally satisfied not working and never think about getting another job.

Today, I was at a AA meeting and a couple of the members were wearing their work costume's and I internally smiled, grateful I didn't have to skip lunch or worry about going back to the office. Instead, I went to a leisurely lunch then came home and thoroughly enjoyed watching The Masters. But even though I had a great day, I still craved more interaction in the evening that I didn't seek out, I reached for food instead, which made me feel crappy. So, I still have a lot to figure out in retirement. When I think about going back to work, I sit down and wait till the desire passes.

Thanks for sharing that.  I'm not even retired yet and I get pleasure just THINKING about scenes like the one you described about other people going to work and not having to myself.  I can imagine standing on a morning train platform to spend a day in the city and getting immense pleasure watching all the other people in their business attire and answering all their emails on their phones.

BlueHouse

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #26 on: April 23, 2021, 10:24:00 AM »
Last May, I got a recruiter call on a job that was right up my alley.  Feeling depressed and bored by COVID shutdown, I thought it would be a good idea to have some structure and goals in my life.  So I did two phone interviews with the recruiters and updated my resume.  They were presenting me to the client the next day, a Friday.  Then I heard nothing.  Nada.  Which reminded me just how much I HATED corporate life.  I took my LinkedIn profile down after that.   No more temptation.

They called me again a few months later.   I mentioned that I wasn't happy with the radio silence on the previous opportunity.  She said she tried to get a hold of me.  Riiiiight.  Buh-bye.

Enough $ is enough.  Freedom is far more valuable.

@DaMa , this sounds like an Epic FU Money Story.  Congrats!

DaMa

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #27 on: April 23, 2021, 01:31:12 PM »
Last May, I got a recruiter call on a job that was right up my alley.  Feeling depressed and bored by COVID shutdown, I thought it would be a good idea to have some structure and goals in my life.  So I did two phone interviews with the recruiters and updated my resume.  They were presenting me to the client the next day, a Friday.  Then I heard nothing.  Nada.  Which reminded me just how much I HATED corporate life.  I took my LinkedIn profile down after that.   No more temptation.

They called me again a few months later.   I mentioned that I wasn't happy with the radio silence on the previous opportunity.  She said she tried to get a hold of me.  Riiiiight.  Buh-bye.

Enough $ is enough.  Freedom is far more valuable.

@DaMa , this sounds like an Epic FU Money Story.  Congrats!

Thanks, @BlueHouse!  I guess it was. 

Much Fishing to Do

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Re: FIRE Do-over
« Reply #28 on: April 24, 2021, 07:19:05 AM »
Huh, I briefly went back to work about 6 months after retiring and I had a great time. It didn't work out with my business partner, and full time was definitely too much work, but I really enjoyed it. I think it depends on the work.

However, I also wasn't bored while not working either.  Covid hasn't really slowed me down in terms of what I wanted to do with my time off. Sure, I had a trip that I had to cancel, but otherwise, I've really enjoyed myself, and kept quite busy.

You must have chosen your job a little more wisely than I did!  I only got bored because I hate the winter and being cold, so I usually stay home if it's cold.  Next winter, things will change!

Statistical probability has it that I probably live somewhere colder than you do, and I used to hate winter too, but I invested in really good outdoor gear, and I comfortably get outside almost every day all winter long, even down to minus 40 C/F. I'm seriously a cold wimp and keep my home toasty enough to walk around in a t-shirt, but with the right gear, the biggest risk is actually overheating.

If my body allowed it, I would be outside for at least 3 hours every day.

Definitely.  I'm a southerner moved to the north and I literally took the school crossing guard job to force me spend a minimum of those 2 hours outside everyday no matter the weather. after years stuck at a desk working long hours from home (a couple days could pass without me stepping outside).  It of course is a great experiment for someone like me not used to bitter cold to discover what exactly keeps one perfectly comfortable in any weather (which it turns out can be done if you really really try).  And frankly when I cross country ski I'm generally down to single layer in no time to keep from sweating like a dog