Finding purpose post fire

[NorthernMonkey]

I ask this question, not as someone who has REd, but as someone who's company is going through a big re-org and who has enough to scrape into RE. (41, pension drawdown from 57, enough after tax savings to bridge the gap with the smallest of margins)

I've found the things that motivate me, and bring me joy, are those which I think are important. They may be small on the overall scale, but I can leap out of bed in the morning because were on the verge of breakthrough in a big project at work, or because I think I can make things better at work by fixing something. The things which bore me to tears are those where I feel like I'm not adding any value, things which are pointless. Supplier reviews, budget planning, HR policies.

I've been thinking what my future might be, and Mrs NM has quite rightly pointed out that I'll go very quickly insane if I don't have any of the things that i need to fix to go and fix.

For those FIREd, how did you find the thing that it was that you needed to do? r

[herbgeek]

I just show up each day, and am present, and things present themselves.  Given with Covid, I'm not out and about like I was, but there are still things that grab my attention.  I focus on keeping my mind sharp, and keeping my body physically active.  Pre-covid, I also tried increasing social interactions.  I indulge in my hobbies, I go down internet rat holes when that interests me, I explore new areas with hiking and snow shoeing. 

I'm still looking for a "bigger" project to throw myself into, and I'm sure that will happen after things normalize, but I'm starting to get used to having small things that I enjoy being the reason to jump out of bed.

[cool7hand]

This TED talk from Tony Robbins about the six human needs was helpful to me. https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_why_we_do_what_we_do?language=en

I care most about love, certainty, growth, and contribution. I've structured my FIRE life around them. I spend lots of time with family and friends, which provides love, growth, and contribution. I have a long-term creative endeavor that serves love, growth, and contribution. Because I work on it almost everyday, it also provides certainty. My wife and I love freshwater fishing, and taking others fishing and teaching them, which provides love, growth, and contribution. FIRE itself provides certainty.

Which needs speak to you and how can you find a way to meet them in RE?

[Fishindude]

If you don't have hobbies and things outside of work that you are passionate about now, it's unlikely you will if you suddenly stop working.
For those that don't have plenty of outside interests, there isn't a darned thing wrong with continuing to work a job as long as you are physically able.

[Metalcat]

If you don't have hobbies and things outside of work that you are passionate about now, it's unlikely you will if you suddenly stop working.
For those that don't have plenty of outside interests, there isn't a darned thing wrong with continuing to work a job as long as you are physically able.

I disagree.

I've developed a bunch of interests since retiring. Some of us need the space of not having work for new things to grow in terms of interest and passion.

Everyone is different.

You could take away everything I'm interested in right now, and a pile of new things would just take their place over time.

[flyingaway]

If you have enough money, you don't have to work for anyone. That itself is a powerful way of expressing freedom. I would rather watch TV than work for an unpleasant job, if I don't need the money.
But, in most cases, people do need or want the money, usually the more the better. So that is why they keep working.

[2sk22]

The whole point of retirement for me is to gain time to study things that I could only graze when working.

In there past couple of months, I have been really digging into the mathematical foundations of computing, studying causal reasoning and learning new programming languages. I have also been getting interested in computational genetics since my older daughter is working in that field.

And I also enjoy playing with my model trains 😀

[Metalcat]

If you have enough money, you don't have to work for anyone. That itself is a powerful way of expressing freedom. I would rather watch TV than work for an unpleasant job, if I don't need the money.
But, in most cases, people do need or want the money, usually the more the better. So that is why they keep working.

And some of us, like myself and MMM himself, find a lot of joy in projects that also happen to make money, and that's why we work in retirement.

Again, everyone is different.

[soccerluvof4]

If you have enough money, you don't have to work for anyone. That itself is a powerful way of expressing freedom. I would rather watch TV than work for an unpleasant job, if I don't need the money.
But, in most cases, people do need or want the money, usually the more the better. So that is why they keep working.

And some of us, like myself and MMM himself, find a lot of joy in projects that also happen to make money, and that's why we work in retirement.

Again, everyone is different.

This^ +1 . I didnt retire to anything it came so quickly so my adjustment took a long time because I was self-employed and had alot of employees constantly asking me questions and so on. So for me its a combination of having really down time now and then going bonkers a week or two on a project. I am one or the other. Only thing I do consistently is going to the gym everyday and reading alot online doing some day trading with 1-2% of my total portfolio not to try and Beat the market but more as a hobby. So that is where I am sure I am different.

[chevy1956]

I'm less then 6 months retired. It was a little tough the first month or two but now I'm hitting my stride. I've just been playing guitar, reading and doing jiu-jitsu. There are all activities I did prior to RE. I just do those activities more often.

I find I spend less time on the Internet or watching TV.

I don't miss work at all.

[rae09]

I'm on my 5th month and I kind of miss work. I always wondered why would people work when they have enough money. I raced so hard to the finish line and now that I'm here, I can finally understand why. To some people (I mean me), it's not so much about the money anymore. I like the challenge, I like learning, I like expanding my knowledge. I do enjoy doing nothing for short period of time but I can't enjoy it when it seems that I have forever to spend. But that's okay too. Not everyone is the same and I gave up expecting myself to be like everyone else.

You can always find something else to do if you get bored and full retirement doesn't suit you. But you won't know until you try.

[BreakBad]

"You won't know until you try" is great advice.

I decided after 18 months of retirement to get busy living. Nothing was fulfilling for long... volunteering, golf, gardening, hiking, etc. So for me, it meant taking advantage of the pandemic bringing remote work to every opportunity, and getting a job. Been exciting, but after 6 months the shine is starting to wear off. Some of us are just naturally restless, and hoping we'll age-out of our restlessness at some point.

We're all seeking answers on what will make us happy and fulfilled. Wish I had more advice to offer.

[HenryDavid]

Same purposes as before.
Just more time to devote to them without having to work.

(Learning, creating, friends, fitness/health).

[NorthernMonkey]

Thanks Guys,

like most people, my friends are roughly the same age as me, and as such, they all slave away 9 - 5. I do some volunteer work now, but its at a weekend only. Too much time during the week might be a problem. Maybe i need a part time job to keep me sane.

Its not that I dont like my job, I just dont like doing ANYTHING 5 days a week. If i could do it 2 days a week, it would be amazing.

Playing with model trains for the remainder of the time also doesnt sound too bad a plan

[ItsALongStory]

I am 6 months into what I've been calling an open ended sabbatical. Our plan was to travel extensively throughout Europe but clearly that wasn't gonna happen until COVID was behind us.

Fitness is the only thing I've really gotten any structure around and I'm struggling to ignite passions in other areas. Hopefully our relatively strict lockdown will lift soon and we can do more hiking and exploring but it won't be as planned until the summer at the earliest. I'm diving into a bunch of different topics through online learning platforms and seeing what sticks.

[HotTubes]

You sound like you would be an awesome colleague, loves to get stuff done and feel a sense of accomplishment, but not a fan of the trappings of the corporate world.  I know a recent retiree who fits this mold - he learned how to fix complex dental equipment and works for himself (narrow skill, deep fee), when and how he wants.  He does things to his standard and no one else's.  You might be that kind of person and maybe you'll find something like that (fixing model train engines??? - repairing expensive phono cartridges, etc).

Cool thing about retirement seems to be (I'm FI, not RE yet) that you have the space to find that thing that speaks to you.

For me, my interests aren't interests, they are abiding passions that can never be accomplished, only sought.

[Metalcat]

You sound like you would be an awesome colleague, loves to get stuff done and feel a sense of accomplishment, but not a fan of the trappings of the corporate world.  I know a recent retiree who fits this mold - he learned how to fix complex dental equipment and works for himself (narrow skill, deep fee), when and how he wants.  He does things to his standard and no one else's.  You might be that kind of person and maybe you'll find something like that (fixing model train engines??? - repairing expensive phono cartridges, etc).

Cool thing about retirement seems to be (I'm FI, not RE yet) that you have the space to find that thing that speaks to you.

For me, my interests aren't interests, they are abiding passions that can never be accomplished, only sought.

I've started studying something that I NEVER EVER would have expected to become an expert in pre-FIRE.

That really is the beauty of it, having the mental space to get to know parts of yourself you never had the chance to know before.

I've always enjoyed seeing the future as a total unknown, because I love seeing the cool things that can pop up in life when you're open to them and have the time to explore them.

[MasterStache]

Start practicing mindfulness. Toss in a bit of meditation. Finding "purpose" isn't actually that difficult. Feeling the need to always be accomplishing something is often the result of always living in the future. You can still accomplish whatever you want, but learning to be content no matter what you are doing is invaluable.   

[nirodha]

Its not that I dont like my job, I just dont like doing ANYTHING 5 days a week. If i could do it 2 days a week, it would be amazing.

This is a very solvable problem. Assuming you are good at your job and ready to walk away, you have tremendous leverage.

[NorthernMonkey]

Its not that I dont like my job, I just dont like doing ANYTHING 5 days a week. If i could do it 2 days a week, it would be amazing.

This is a very solvable problem. Assuming you are good at your job and ready to walk away, you have tremendous leverage.

My job is going to change from a couple of weeks time. They're taking away my direct reports and budget responsibility, and moving me into delivering more stuff. It's a sort of demotion, but I'm keeping the same pay and benefits, (and I hate looking after budgets) Its also a role which is much more suited to part time work. Its difficult to manage a team when youre only there 2 days a week

[ItsALongStory]

I am 6 months into what I've been calling an open ended sabbatical. Our plan was to travel extensively throughout Europe but clearly that wasn't gonna happen until COVID was behind us.

Fitness is the only thing I've really gotten any structure around and I'm struggling to ignite passions in other areas. Hopefully our relatively strict lockdown will lift soon and we can do more hiking and exploring but it won't be as planned until the summer at the earliest. I'm diving into a bunch of different topics through online learning platforms and seeing what sticks.

Quick follow up. As part of my search I had reached out to several non-profits that are active in a passion area (financial literacy) of mine. One got back to me right around the time of my prior response and we have been going back and forth. It's yet to be formalized but I'm likely to take on a relatively sizeable role in this organization since I have a ton of time on my hands. I may need to start my own thread to leverage the collective brainpower here cause first impressions are that there is a lot of room for improvement and I want to go about it smartly.

[ItsALongStory]

It is currently 4am and tomorrow we are signing the deed on the purchase of a home in need of some renovation.

There wasn't really a plan to buy a home but the area we are in just ticked so many boxes and the house is just enough of a project for our budget and skillset.

I'm looking forward to making this our next dream home. On the financial side this purchase wipes out our financial buffer account balance but the thought of a free and clear property was and is appealing.

Our monthly expenses should go down a bit as we won't be renting short term any longer. Monthly bills are expected to be relatively minimal, I guess time will tell.

We still do plan to take trips but won't be truly nomadic anymore. I've gotten hooked on YouTube content about more sustainable and self reliant living and hope to implement some of what I'm learning to our own situation.

[sui generis]

It is currently 4am and tomorrow we are signing the deed on the purchase of a home in need of some renovation.

There wasn't really a plan to buy a home but the area we are in just ticked so many boxes and the house is just enough of a project for our budget and skillset.

I'm looking forward to making this our next dream home. On the financial side this purchase wipes out our financial buffer account balance but the thought of a free and clear property was and is appealing.

Our monthly expenses should go down a bit as we won't be renting short term any longer. Monthly bills are expected to be relatively minimal, I guess time will tell.

We still do plan to take trips but won't be truly nomadic anymore. I've gotten hooked on YouTube content about more sustainable and self reliant living and hope to implement some of what I'm learning to our own situation.

Cool, congrats!  And did the financial literacy non-profit work come to fruition? How's that going?

[sui generis]

Its not that I dont like my job, I just dont like doing ANYTHING 5 days a week. If i could do it 2 days a week, it would be amazing.

This is a very solvable problem. Assuming you are good at your job and ready to walk away, you have tremendous leverage.

My job is going to change from a couple of weeks time. They're taking away my direct reports and budget responsibility, and moving me into delivering more stuff. It's a sort of demotion, but I'm keeping the same pay and benefits, (and I hate looking after budgets) Its also a role which is much more suited to part time work. Its difficult to manage a team when youre only there 2 days a week

@NorthernMonkey curious if you have an update you want to share?  How did the change in job responsibilities go?  Did you pursue any opportunity to go part-time?

I'm also someone who has never liked doing a job 5 days a week.  I think I've identified about 12 hours per week for anything as ideal. More than that and I have historically started hating it or finding more fault than fun with whatever I am doing.  I'm still exploring this, because of course the one big problem is 12 hours per week is not enough to dive deep into anything.  I would love to find something I was excited about enough to do for more than 12 hours per week and really commit to it.  But alas, just over 3 years into FIRE and no eureka moment yet.  I hope I still have well over 3 more decades to try though!

And hey, on the other side of the spectrum, maybe cobbling together a handful of things I do 12 hours per week will end up being more my jam (as it sort of has been so far) and leaves me more freedom to explore and travel.  It's a ll a journey!  Hope yours is going well...

[Retire-Canada]

For those FIREd, how did you find the thing that it was that you needed to do? r

I have had a ton of interests and hobbies my whole life and never enough time to pursue them. Even without a FT job I end every day with stuff I wanted to do that didn't get done. I'd probably feel that way if I had 48hr long days.

Like you I hate pointless stuff whether is was at work or in my personal life. What I would say to you and anyone else worried about what to do in FIRE is that the world/life is a massive massive thing that you have only ever scratched the surface of due to the time constraints of a FT job plus your other social obligations like kids, SO, etc... There is so much out there you could spend the rest of your life just pondering the options let alone digging deep into any one of them and developing mastery. No matter what your particular interests/preferences/personality are there are countless amazing things to learn about and do. You really just have to get your head out of the ditch you've been digging for the last few decades and look around.

Being bored in FIRE is not possible if you are really open to what life has to offer aside from your desk/FT job.

[Dicey]

Hey @NorthernMonkey, any updates?

[NorthernMonkey]

My job is going to change from a couple of weeks time. They're taking away my direct reports and budget responsibility, and moving me into delivering more stuff. It's a sort of demotion, but I'm keeping the same pay and benefits, (and I hate looking after budgets) Its also a role which is much more suited to part time work. Its difficult to manage a team when youre only there 2 days a week

@NorthernMonkey curious if you have an update you want to share?  How did the change in job responsibilities go?  Did you pursue any opportunity to go part-time?

I'm also someone who has never liked doing a job 5 days a week.  I think I've identified about 12 hours per week for anything as ideal. More than that and I have historically started hating it or finding more fault than fun with whatever I am doing.  I'm still exploring this, because of course the one big problem is 12 hours per week is not enough to dive deep into anything.  I would love to find something I was excited about enough to do for more than 12 hours per week and really commit to it.  But alas, just over 3 years into FIRE and no eureka moment yet.  I hope I still have well over 3 more decades to try though!

And hey, on the other side of the spectrum, maybe cobbling together a handful of things I do 12 hours per week will end up being more my jam (as it sort of has been so far) and leaves me more freedom to explore and travel.  It's a ll a journey!  Hope yours is going well...

Hi there,

Logged into this forum for the first time in a while. I really didnt like the move, however, I've hung on a little while, and a few things have changed. I've got a second mini-me currently being constructed, but my old boss, who I really liked working for reached out and offered my a new role in another part of the company (super global mega corp) Ive accepted, and I'm seeing how it goes.

The decision of fire or not to fire still weighs heavily. I can afford it now, and with a more sensible amount of head room than 10 months ago. But this role sounds interesting, and I can't resist something that looks and sounds interesting.