Author Topic: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?  (Read 55166 times)

patrickza

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #150 on: September 17, 2015, 05:48:28 AM »
Also glad you posted an update. I'll keep watching the thread to see how things go.

Btw, your day driving the sports car and going to the farmers market sounds pretty good to me :)

Gone Fishing

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #151 on: September 17, 2015, 07:29:39 AM »
Sounds like you have a good plan!  I hope everything works out well!

begood

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #152 on: September 17, 2015, 12:22:20 PM »
Glad to see an update, Francis! We're rooting for you!

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #153 on: September 17, 2015, 05:48:49 PM »
You have taken an action.  You have set a date.  Good for you.  Hope you get the part time gig!!!

TomTX

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #154 on: September 29, 2015, 09:48:46 AM »
Francis:

Your work royally sucks. You have literally NO benefit to staying and filling up your 401k for 2016. NONE.

Here's my prescription (ha!) for you.

1) Send me half of your stash.

2) We both retire. You will still have 40x annual expenses. This is a SHITLOAD of margin to spare, not even considering the Social Security you will start drawing in 7-15 years.

Seriously. QUIT NOW.

Even after half your stash went away, you would easily have the finances to draw your living expenses forever, even if we start in the worst retirement date in the last 100+years.

Indexmantra

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #155 on: September 29, 2015, 12:51:49 PM »
Francis:

Your work royally sucks. You have literally NO benefit to staying and filling up your 401k for 2016. NONE.

Here's my prescription (ha!) for you.

1) Send me half of your stash.

2) We both retire. You will still have 40x annual expenses. This is a SHITLOAD of margin to spare, not even considering the Social Security you will start drawing in 7-15 years.

Seriously. QUIT NOW.

Even after half your stash went away, you would easily have the finances to draw your living expenses forever, even if we start in the worst retirement date in the last 100+years.

I agree with both statements. If I weren't FI already, I would have proposed we split 80 times expenses three way ( and there would be $$$ for the three of us with a 4% withdrawal rate)

rachael talcott

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #156 on: October 30, 2015, 08:52:45 PM »
I just read all four pages of this hoping to see that FrancisinPA would come back to report pulling the plug on the horrid job.  But I understand going with your gut. 

Sending warm fuzzies to you, Francis!

JN2

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #157 on: October 31, 2015, 10:18:00 AM »
Francis, you're 57 with 80x income in savings. I'm also 57 and just FIREd with 6x income in savings. Less than 10% of your stash, but enough to last until my $3k per month pensions kick in.

So why do you stay? You don't need the money! Are you a martyr-type personality? Or extreme protestant work-ethic? Go for the sports car and the wine and the freedom you so obviously enjoy. I did :)




TomTX

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #158 on: November 01, 2015, 08:18:50 AM »
Francis, you're 57 with 80x income in savings. I'm also 57 and just FIREd with 6x income in savings. Less than 10% of your stash, but enough to last until my $3k per month pensions kick in.

So why do you stay? You don't need the money! Are you a martyr-type personality? Or extreme protestant work-ethic? Go for the sports car and the wine and the freedom you so obviously enjoy. I did :)

Hell, he can give me half the money and still have more than enough.

Werthless

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #159 on: June 22, 2016, 08:19:51 AM »
Any update? Still at same employer?

MissNancyPryor

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #160 on: June 22, 2016, 09:51:02 AM »
I soooo gotta see how this turns out. 

jim555

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #161 on: June 22, 2016, 10:14:07 AM »
FrancisinPa do tell us what happened!

Warlord1986

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #162 on: June 22, 2016, 10:29:57 AM »
Joining the crowd to add my vote for escaping. Hon, get out. You deserve better than this.

jan62

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #163 on: June 22, 2016, 01:47:38 PM »
would love to hear an update also, this thread has been really helpful for me,in a similar toxic work situation but nowhere near enough to retire - but some really good advice here, thanks.

MissNancyPryor

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #164 on: June 22, 2016, 02:59:56 PM »
Quit.  I understand, believe me. 

Last December I was off work for surgery.  Work had been a rollcoaster for years but lately had plummeted to new lows.  Soul sucking, hand wringing, drinking too much after a stressful day, sleeping pills to sleep at night.   At home recovering from surgery,  as the date drew closer to return to work I started to panic about going back to that hell hole.  Every night my husband would come home from work to  find me crying on the couch.  I was starting the countdown on the days until I return.  He was the one who suggested that I retire now.  Literally I would ask over and over and over, "really?  is it possible?  I can retire?  You mean I never have to go back there?"  I could not wrap my head around it. 

I am 56 and I planned to work until 60.  It just went against everything in my work ethic, upbringing whatever to "bail" 4 years early.  I just about drove my husband crazy asking him repeatedly "is it possible, really? really? give up a "good" government job? You mean I don't have to work 4 more years?" 

Finally, as the day grew closer to return to work after surgery, I decided that I won't make a decision now I will wait and see how I feel after I get back to work.  Long story short, two days back to work and I was done. 

FUCK you assholes!  I typed up my letter giving two weeks notice and with outstanding vacation owing I only had to work 4 days.  I spent three days dealing with hell, shit hitting the fan and taking a moment here and there to shred.  Shred shred shred.  Day 4 morning I handed in all my company property (badge, etc.)  Before going to lunch with my co-workers I told my boss I won't be back after lunch.   My heart was pounding at the elevator like I had robbed the bank, broke out of prision, escaped from being held hostage, got away with murder, you get the picture. 

Not for a second have I regretted it.  I am eating homecooked meals (made by moi), drinking is probably 1/3 of what I was drinking.  No more sleeping pills.  Gym 5 days a week. 

I did feel guilty in the beginning that my husband is still working but now, not so much.  The stress on him is far less, we are not rushing around trying to grocery shop, clean the house, yardwork etc.   He loves it because he sees I am finally happy.  I am putting my health first now instead of last.  I have had two surgeries in two years and have a few other medical issues that need attention. 

I know it sounds crazy but I think I had PTSD (mild).  The first couple of weeks I apparently was crying, shouting and screaming in my sleep.  It seems insane now and it was only last month. 

FU money is the truth.  I get up when I want.  I go to bed when I want and in between I do what I want. 
I know it sounds arrogant but on a beautiful day like today, I was sitting out in the backyard reading a book with a coffee thinking how great life is now and "I am far too rich to put up with their bullshit"


This, from page 1 of the thread, has been one of the best posts I have ever seen on this forum. 

avrex

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #165 on: June 23, 2016, 10:20:44 PM »
+1 agreed.  Great post there.

clarkfan1979

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #166 on: June 24, 2016, 02:22:29 PM »
Your best options:

1) Quit now
2) Start throwing your weight around. You are in a position of strength. You have the leverage to quit at any moment. Make the workplace what you want it to be and if they fire you so be it. Make it clear that your vacation schedule is non- negotiable.

I agree with #2

HovEratoTo

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #167 on: August 07, 2018, 11:32:56 AM »
Francis, did you quit? How did things play out?

markbike528CBX

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #168 on: August 07, 2018, 07:20:53 PM »
Francis, did you quit? How did things play out?

Paging @FrancisinPa   

Not hopeful about a response, as FrancisinPa has no activity since may 2016

HovEratoTo

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #169 on: August 09, 2018, 10:32:19 AM »
Thanks @markbike528CBX it was probably a long-shot but as I'm in a period of transitioning away from work myself, I was curious!

Happily Irrelevant

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #170 on: August 11, 2018, 03:17:31 PM »
I just read all this and didn't get to find out how it ended.  It's like someone ripped out the last page of a book.  When you find yourself in a situation like Francis, you just need to imagine it's your mother in a terrible work environment with 80x expenses.  What would you advise/demand that she do?  Now follow your own advice. 

Rhoon

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #171 on: August 27, 2018, 07:51:17 PM »
I was reading this hoping to find the end of the book as well -- so I'll write my own:

Francis FI'd and is enjoying life on the sun -- we'll just have to wait till that post card shows up from Zihuatanejo.

BTDretire

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #172 on: August 30, 2018, 07:33:38 AM »
Yep, I just read this whole thread and see no conclusion,
FrancisinPa last posted May 5, 2016.

Linda_Norway

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #173 on: September 04, 2018, 04:53:08 AM »
Yep, I just read this whole thread and see no conclusion,
FrancisinPa last posted May 5, 2016.

I also just read the whole thread, which doesn't have a climax. FrancisPa probably retired as planned in 2016.

What hit me is that his company threatened employees orally, but not in writing. My DH has learned that ever when you want to confront your employer with the way they treat you, you should put your phone on recording. No one will notice consciously that bring a phone to a meeting. It has saved DH in such a situation. If you later quote literally from that meeting, they know you have it recorded and they'll get nervous.

Blindsquirrel

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #174 on: September 11, 2018, 06:45:39 PM »
  Please post when you say FU and walk. I feel your pain and while not at 80x spending am definitely FI and still working. But I have some fun everyday because I meditate using "Fuck That" meditation every day.-Google it and laugh.  Less than 120 days of work and out the door I will go with a song in my heart. My retire date is 0-120 days of work left and since they have been laying folks off I am hoping my snark gets me on the list. :). Work has a social aspect but that hourglass is glued to the table.

avrex

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #175 on: September 11, 2018, 11:32:02 PM »
I meditate using "Fuck That" meditation every day.-Google it and laugh.

Yep, the only meditation that works for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY

EndlessJourney

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #176 on: September 12, 2018, 04:07:26 AM »
My DH has learned that ever when you want to confront your employer with the way they treat you, you should put your phone on recording. No one will notice consciously that bring a phone to a meeting. It has saved DH in such a situation. If you later quote literally from that meeting, they know you have it recorded and they'll get nervous.

The caveat being that you must be in a jurisdiction that has "one-party consent laws" for recording conversations or phone calls.

Some states have "two-party consent laws" so you can't surreptitiously record phone calls or conversations, otherwise you risk running afoul of wiretapping laws, which opens you up to litigation, fines and/or imprisonment.

Zamboni

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #177 on: September 16, 2018, 07:47:32 AM »
Thank you for the "fuck that" meditation video . . . may have just saved my sanity with it!

Blindsquirrel

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #178 on: September 16, 2018, 03:52:20 PM »
   on F that Meditation, I love the lines "If your thoughts drift back to the 3 ring $hit show of your life, that ok" and "Those soul sucking cockesuckers can't piss all over an inner purity like this."  Cracks me up.  It actually does work quite well. LOve the Onion article.

burning_ac1d

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #179 on: September 17, 2018, 01:17:53 AM »
If I were you, I would leave

CowboyAndIndian

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #180 on: September 23, 2018, 07:57:10 AM »
WALLS ARE FUNNY.  My husband and I reached FIRE last November, 2017.  We live full-time in our motorhome while traveling, sold our house and 95% of stuff.  I wrote this link specifically about a former coworker a few years older than me and more financially independent but work was his comfort zone (institutionalized).  Thought its relevance might give you some perspective.  https://RemovedLink

First post and you post a link to your blog?

Dicey

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Re: FI, horrible workplace yet I stay. Why?
« Reply #181 on: September 23, 2018, 05:03:54 PM »
WALLS ARE FUNNY.  My husband and I reached FIRE last November, 2017.  We live full-time in our motorhome while traveling, sold our house and 95% of stuff.  I wrote this link specifically about a former coworker a few years older than me and more financially independent but work was his comfort zone (institutionalized).  Thought its relevance might give you some perspective.  https://RemovedLink

First post and you post a link to your blog?
I was skeptical, but I clicked on the link and read through a lot of it. It was completely enjoyable and not monetized. Personally, I'd give her posting a link here a free pass. Her writing deserves a greater audience, and it's pretty on topic. They sold their house themselves which is pretty badass, and they bought a used RV after significant research, also quite badass. They took on some seasonal work and quit the jobs when they stopped being enjoyable - basically, they didn't like peddling shite, so they put their values first, also badass. I'd vote for the link to be restored, because it would be very useful for people trying to figure out what life after FIRE might look like.

Don't go away @Mrs. Ramble!