The Future of Aging Article in NYTimes

[pdxbator]

I saw this article today in the New York Times and it describes what some people see as their 55+ dream community:
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/11/14/magazine/tech-design-longevity-margaritaville.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

In my opinion the description of this place sounds just awful. Sure the neighbors all know each other and it sounds all peachy, but just from my dealings in a condo association have been crazy. This is not my idea of retirement for sure. Plus I'm biased in not wanting to retire in Florida. Plus being LGBT this community just sounds so stifling.

Any thoughts?

[Cassie]

Interesting article. We are 64 and have no desire to move to another city.  Anything like this here is out of reach financially even though we have a nice home we could sell.   We could afford a place in the Villages in Florida but I hate Florida.  I think it might be fun as long as you keep your other connections to younger people, etc.   

[soccerluvof4]

No desire to Live in Florida and all that its about. To me its a living Hospice. Not one that likes to run with the crowd.

[beekayworld]

The neighbors all knowing each other and socializing with each other reminds me of my mother's years in a retirement home. It sounded ideal on paper: An on-site book club, lectures, exercise, people you could eat meals with and socialize with.

The problem is the lack of choices.  You only have that one book club for example.  Where I live there are at least SIX book clubs near me with different emphasis (one is always Shakespeare! Some are headed by librarians. One starts with an hour eating the food that month's leader brings that's tied to the theme of the book.) 

If you don't like the people or don't like the book they're reading, it's easy to just skip or drop out and try another one.

Living independently, I'm able to pick and choose which activities I do based on the day/time/people.  I tried 8 dance classes to find the 2 I love.  I tried all kinds of other gym classes-- Tai Chi, Kundalini, pilates, etc. several times each before accepting that they aren't for me.  In my mother's retirement home there were either Chair Yoga or Bean Bag Baseball for group exercise. Take it or leave it.

In a small community there just wouldn't be the choices, and there's also less privacy. You probably have to admit that you didn't attend the book club because you didn't like the book; it's too complicated to say "I had a conflict" when they saw you out by the pool or your car in the drive, etc.

I'm too particular about my activities and my friends to just fit into a ready-made tribe and schedule.

[dude]

Sounds like living on a cruise ship. I'd rather kill myself.

[smoghat]

Reminds me of the great essay about cruises by David Foster Wallace.

[MayDay]

Interesting.

My g'pa bought a condo in a similar type of place in FL.  My g'ma would have loved it (she passed first).  Social groups, pool, exercise classes, etc.  My g'pa kind of just does his own thing. 

I do think the good part of his development (and it is huge) is that it is set up for stuff like if he can't drive- they have shuttles to doctors, grocery stores, etc etc.  And since his is huge, you are definitely NOT limited to 1 book club, etc.  There are thousands of residents, it is more like a town.  It is also not at all a nursing/assisted living home- some people hire their own aids, but there are no med checks, meals, etc that the condos provide.

The reality is that you have a few choices as you age, no matter how much you want to deny it (which, sadly, most people do want to deny, right up until the bitter end).

1.  Your kids take care of you (even if they also hire aids, just doing all the oversight of that can be an enormous task)
2.  You move into some kind of community, whether it is just a condo or full on assisted--->nursing home facility
3.  You die suddenly.

3 doesn't happen as much as you might wish :).  1. might happen for awhile, but for most people it eventually ends as their needs increase, and then you are stuck with 2 but you didn't do anything to prepare and pick what you wanted, and it becomes a huge burden on your kids.  It is a shitty thing to do to your kids IMO.

This particular gimmick sounds gimmicky.  I certainly wouldn't pick a margaritaville themed development!  And I probably wouldn't pick an enormous development in FL surrounded by only olds.  But I'm not naive enough to think I'll just stay in my house forever LALALALA.  I'll move into a condo well before I can't manage to clean out and pack my own junk.  And that condo will either be very near my kids so they can easily oversee caregivers, or I'll eventually move into an assisted living--> nursing home facility.  And assuming something like early onset dementia doesn't hit out of the blue, I intend to be in a condo by the time I am 65, and assisted living will be more variable.  But I'll do research before it becomes an emergency.  Yes, It'll be unpalatable I'm sure, but I am a realist:  I'm Gonna Die. 

[Cassie]

My parents moved into a apartment at 65 because my dad was sick. My mom lived alone until a week before she died just short of 90. She went through cancer a few times but between us 3 kids we were able to take vacation and go home for a few weeks. Between 84-89 she occasionally needed someone for a month but my 2 oldest siblings were retired and shared it.  We were happy to help her stay home but it wasn’t all the time she needed help. We are 64 and downsized our house to 1400 sq ft ranch and made sure we can age in place. The small yard is mostly maintenance free. If I was alone I might move into a condo.

[ROF Expat]

Choices are good. 

I don't think it is what I will choose when the time comes, but there are probably a lot of people who will like it. 

As far as I'm concerned, financial independence equates to having more choices. 

[pecunia]

It didn't seem like there was much meaning to a life in Margaritaville.  It does much the song.