Author Topic: Face punch please.  (Read 2905 times)

FIKris

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Face punch please.
« on: August 25, 2020, 11:00:02 AM »
I retired for the first time in 2015 with just shy of $1 million.  Decided to go back to work in 2018, currently approaching $1.5. 

I want to quit again, for various reasons: no need for the money, a chronic health condition that's getting worse that I've been ignoring, more time with friends/family, and the ability to travel/relocate during the terrible wildfire smoke season that is now frequently making it hazardous to exercise outside during the late summers (I live in wildfire territory in the US west).

Here's the thing: I thought quitting would be easy.  I've been through it once before.  I know the drill.  But I find myself stressing about it again!  I realize how ridiculous that is. 

I want to put in my notice, but my brain keeps popping in with little excuses like "but imagine how much more money you'd have if you stayed another year or two!," and "your spouse isn't retiring until 2023; just work until they stop too," or the insidious "your job is focused on the environment and it's in crisis right now and you could help!," which is partially true, but I'm very close to burning out due to the overwhelming weight of it all and I know I'm not as effective as I once was.




Much Fishing to Do

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Re: Face punch please.
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2020, 12:16:36 PM »
Did the fear that your stache wouldn't last make you go back the first time or was it something else?  Maybe you find the more money (which means more monthly spending forever) is worth another year or two?  Were you bored or losing purpose without a job?

I guess what I'm saying is, for someone retiring the first time around I totally get its an extremely daunting move into the unknown and one that might require a face punch just to consider it, but for someone who was FIREd for 3 years I've gotta think you have some logical reasons for wanting to stay?

ysette9

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Re: Face punch please.
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2020, 03:55:55 PM »
Have you read the blog LivingaFI by Dr Doom? He has a series of posts he calls The Quit Series that goes through his mental gymnastics of realizing he could quit but working through why he couldn’t just pull the trigger and quit. I find it really insightful and something i re-read on occasion just because I love his writing. I’d recommend spending a little time going through this series of blog posts to see if any of it resonates with you.

https://livingafi.com/the-quit-series/

infromsea

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Re: Face punch please.
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2020, 07:36:52 PM »
Can you go part time?

Reduced salary for super-flex schedule?

If you find the work meaningful, make a compromise with the gremlins/ego and do "just enough" to keep them quiet and keep you active, might be a win/win/win! (You/ego/workplace).

PMG

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Re: Face punch please.
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2020, 07:39:53 PM »
You don’t have to feel any guilt for leaving work undone. There are a lot of talented, driven people who care a whole lot about the environment and one of them will step in to take your place.

ETA:  I’m not fired so don’t belong in this sub forum...

I hesitate a bit to say this ... but for many of my peers in my generation, the dreaded millennials, who aren’t kids anymore, we’re ready. And we’ve got a whole long of respect for those ahead of us, but I see a whole lot of people well past retirement age holding on to jobs they are miserable in, while my peers and I are stuck in entry level positions with entry level salaries and... maybe that’s not you. And maybe those people have really good reasons and they can live their life however they want.... but you stepping away from important work is ok, even good. Someone else will step up.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2020, 07:48:55 PM by PMG »

Rhoon

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Re: Face punch please.
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2020, 09:05:28 PM »
I want to quit again, for various reasons..., a chronic health condition that's getting worse that I've been ignoring, more time with friends/family

Get your health issues resolved first. That's prioirty #1 in my books anyway. Can't grow that stash if you're looking up at daisies.

Facepunch thrown.

xbdb

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Re: Face punch please.
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2020, 11:21:37 AM »
“Death is always on the way, but the fact that you don't know when it will arrive seems to take away from the finiteness of life. It's that terrible precision that we hate so much. But because we don't know, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless.”
― Paul Bowles, The Sheltering Sky

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Face punch please.
« Reply #7 on: August 28, 2020, 01:42:22 PM »
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Loren Ver

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Re: Face punch please.
« Reply #8 on: August 28, 2020, 04:15:24 PM »
You don't have something you would rather be doing?  You retired once and decided it wasn't great and decided a desk (or where ever you work) was better.  What happened there?  Something happened.  You need to figure what happened there and fix that, if you really want to.  If the desk actually makes you happy until your other half is retired then maybe that is where you need to be.  You don't need to wait until you retire to work on health things, that is just an excuse people use and a poor one.  Health is number one, work is number two.   Learn balance.

If the desk doesn't make you happy, then change it.  Find what does.  This might not be easy, but it is worth doing, and might take the rest of your life.  Have fun figuring it out!  Try all the things!

No matter what, be taking care of yourself.  Your spouse probably doesn't want to go it alone early because you put off taking care of you for too long.   That would be face punch worthy.

Dicey

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Re: Face punch please.
« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2020, 08:56:20 PM »
What's that old saw about you can't help an addict before they are willing to help themselves/hit rock bottom/whatever? YOU are the addict and all the facepunches in the world won't help you until you decide to help yourself. When you do, there are plenty of us who are willing to help you figure it out.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2020, 12:37:04 AM by Dicey »