Author Topic: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?  (Read 5182 times)

Slow road to freedom

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Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« on: January 02, 2020, 01:08:21 AM »
To all you post-FIREees: how do you bring meaning/purpose into your life (if you do)? Iím contemplating life post-FI and am getting a little analytical about planning for a transition - wondering what activities will provide enough purpose to make sure I donít default into Ďgetting a jobí, which is not what I want full time.

Iíve read about a range of things people do: the Ďget-a-life-treeí exercise propounded by Dr Doom, daily planning to make sure the days donít drift by. Iíve even considered how using The 7 Habits crossed with GTD (Getting Things Done) might help provide structure. Perhaps annual / quarterly / monthly goal setting??  might be overthinking this a little.

Iíd be interested to hear how you map your life, if indeed you do. Whatís worked for you?

ysette9

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2020, 03:30:39 AM »
Iím not quite there yet but my plan was to just be for the first several months to decompress and get the hang of a new rhythm and see what comes out organically.
Knowing me Iím sure Iíll get into some sort of plan and routine eventually, but I am not sure i want to push that. Even Dr Doom talks about decompression (detox I think he called it). I agree with you that his Get A Life Tree is a great idea and an exercise I have done with my husband at one point in the past.

soccerluvof4

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2020, 04:40:44 AM »
Definitely allow for some time to decompress as for everyone its different. As a person that ran there own business of about 50 employees for years it took me a bit longer than the average. Make a list of things you would like to do and start doing them and other things will just come your way if you let it. Retirement is what you want it to be and make it. You can be as busy as you want or a couch potato or somewhere in between. I started an exercise program and went from there. After about 4 years I started a side gig only averaging about 20 hours a week but something I do only when I want. We made a move this month and that opened up as well a lot of things I need to do now as well.

Trifele

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2020, 05:06:29 AM »
I've been FIREd almost a year now, and have drifted thus far.  I don't know if it was decompression as much as just wanting to enjoy myself, spend time with family, exercise, and catch up on tasks that I had put off.  But it's been great.

I'm only just now starting to think about something more to keep me busy.  Haven't decided yet what that will be.

Malcat

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2020, 06:41:06 AM »
Well...are you finding a ton of purpose in your career?

There's a huge difference between purpose and pattern.
If your work is truly giving great meaning to your life, then why not continue working? Why not maintain some kind of part time or volunteer version of your incredibly meaningful work?

If work isn't providing you such meaning, then it may just be providing you patterns and structures. If that's the case, then actually being free of those patterns will be necessary to have the space to actually get to know yourself and discover what will give you meaning.

Personally, I tend to suspect that when someone is concerned about finding meaning and purpose when they have FIRE freedom it means that they aren't really finding it in their work. If you had a huge sense of purpose already, you would pretty intuitively know how to sustain it without a job.

So, if your work isn't contributing to a life of meaning and purpose, then you should be eager to get to a place where you can find it, not nervous about losing the structure of your work that's currently getting in your way.

You are over thinking it, and it sounds more like a fear of the unknown than anything else.

One thing I really hammer home to people is to not try and make decisions for your future self. Your future self is by definition wiser than you are. So it's foolish to try and make decisions today about what that person should do.

You don't know how you will feel when work is gone. You won't know what surprises bubble up from your subconscious once they have the space to express themselves. You don't know who you will be once you adjust to freedom.

Give future you the space to settle in. Focus on getting to know yourself better. Let the future you guide what happens from there. Trust me, they know better.

You don't need to be nervous about a future where you have more options. And you REALLY don't need to try and micro manage it from the past.

John Galt incarnate!

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2020, 08:13:04 AM »
daily planning to make sure the days donít drift by.

I am in inveterate daydreamer.

I am perfectly content to daydream the day away.

Perfectly.

I like being adrift  up On Cloud Nine.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2020, 03:17:44 PM by John Galt incarnate! »

EndlessJourney

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2020, 09:13:12 AM »
It'll be almost 8 years in April since I left my job. And 8 years to the day for my wife.

We're drifters in pretty much every sense of the word. We have a general direction that we head in (North, South, East or West), and that changes about once every year and a half. Then logistically, we'll figure out the little things like where we'll be sleeping, what we'll be doing day-to-day, week-to-week. Whatever strikes our fancy, and if it's in the budget, we'll try to make it happen.

There's never been any fear of losing meaning or purpose to our life. We're pretty imaginative people.

Slow road to freedom

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2020, 09:49:04 AM »
Good point about decompressing ysette9 - I fear I'm overdue some of that. Despite being on a lovely NY family break (maybe it's the influence of two teenagers?).

Thank you for sharing your experience soccerluvof4. I have no doubt it took longer to decompress having run a sizeable business. It sounds like you've found things to keep you active though? I like your statement
Retirement is what you want it to be and make it.
- I need to remember that.

You've done it again Malkynn: hit the nail on the head. So, I was overthinking it. Sometimes it just needs to be said, right between the eyes. I'm now beginning to move on from planning my future self's future, thank you for holding the mirror up. It's probably my work behaviours trying to apply logic and order when actually I need to apply a little more emotion and go with the flow. Shock horror, my 'plan' for this year has now morphed into a few things I'm doing right now - with everything else just sitting on my 'someday' list. I need to get comfortable with that.

By the way, I have a reasonable amount of purpose in my work today, but also a lot of responsibility (1000+ folks relying on me not screwing things up) and a heavy commute. I love aspects of the work, but it is not a part-time gig - it has been nearly all-consuming. I've enjoyed it, but it's now run a course for me. I'm being realistic enough that it will leave a gap, hence (probably) my overthinking. I admire anyone who is more laissez-faire. Perhaps I can learn something from you, Trifele and John Galt incarnate!

I think I currently lack imagination of what might me. You seem to have it cracked, EndlessJourney. Perhaps I can persuade myself to have faith in my future self?!

« Last Edit: January 02, 2020, 09:50:35 AM by Slow road to freedom »

sui generis

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2020, 09:56:20 AM »
I've been drifting a lot, but I definitely have a long-term list that I consult semi-regularly as well as typically daily to-do lists.  Though I find it important to not have a daily to-do list all the time, or I start to rebel and wonder why I FIREd anyway!  I really need days without structure or obligation to *feel* FIREd, though I am glad I have days where I have obligated myself (e.g. my once per week hotline staffing, or once a month animal adoption staffing) so I don't keep convincing myself I should have another day with no to-do list every single day.

It really is a balancing act that you kind of have to feel out on a week-to-week, month-to-month, even day-to-day basis.  I can tell you that my fears about FIREing were rather accurate and it's something I'm still working on 1.5 years in.  But I (hopefully) have another 4 decades +/- to figure it out, so I'm not rushing myself.  The fears I had were that there were a lot of things that I wanted to do that weren't mutually compatible, so just like when I was working, there's still a lot I can't get to.  ACCURATE.  I would like to do more traveling, but getting more involved in my community and certain volunteer work makes it harder for me (psychologically, rather than like with actual PTO limits) to just constantly pick up and leave.  Nevertheless, I did take two essentially one-month vacations this last year (as well as two other 2+ week trips), and the orgs/people I work with just had to deal with me being gone (and guess what?  It was fine!  Shocker!).  The other thing I worried about was that I'd get lazy and not pursue the things I wanted to do, as I discussed above.  That's something that I'm constantly taking the temperature of and deciding how bad or good I feel about the job I'm doing. 

But in the big picture, I feel so great about FIREing and the chance to experiment with different ways of "managing" it over time.  It's super fun to be in control and contemplate trying out different approaches as well as different substance and content.  A real pleasure!

EndlessJourney

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2020, 10:18:18 AM »
You seem to have it cracked, EndlessJourney. Perhaps I can persuade myself to have faith in my future self?!

Well, to be honest, I don't think the way we do things works for everyone. Especially amongst FIRE folks. I find myself disagreeing with a lot of opinions on this forum, so I know my views are definitely in the minority.

IMO, you've got to make retirement work for your personality. If your comfort zone is to think and plan and overthink and overplan, then don't fight your nature. I don't think it's possible to transform yourself into a Type-B personality if you're naturally a Type-A, which most people that aspire and achieve FIRE are.

Again, this may be an unpopular opinion, but I say lean into it!

Create a plan. Think of every possibility. And then every contingency if those plans don't work out. And then continue refining the plan as you're going along, when you have more experience or after bouncing your thoughts off others. You may even find an odd comfort in the midst of the process of thinking and planning.

I think the worse thing you can tell a worrier is, "Don't worry so much!" Utterly unhelpful.

It's just like telling an angry person, "Calm down, buddy"... Cause that works *so* well...
« Last Edit: January 02, 2020, 10:21:07 AM by EndlessJourney »

Moustachienne

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2020, 01:16:36 PM »

IMO, you've got to make retirement work for your personality. If your comfort zone is to think and plan and overthink and overplan, then don't fight your nature. I don't think it's possible to transform yourself into a Type-B personality if you're naturally a Type-A, which most people that aspire and achieve FIRE are.

I agree that we shouldn't fight our basic nature, even if we could, but RE has revealed some surprises to me about my nature.  I was a very organized Type-A during my career (loved me some GTD and Workflowy!) but in retirement I'm much more Type-B and it feels "natural" to me in this phase.  I no longer need to be a Type A so I'm not.  That was a big surprise!  It's been fun figuring out what Type B me needs. I'm constantly playing around with the balance of structure and freedom and agree with Sui Generis that this exploration is a real pleasure. There's no such thing as "set and forget" in living our lives at any stage.  Everything is constantly changing and evolving.

All that said, I did structure my transition away from my highly responsible and super busy work role.  I signed up for an intensive daily language course and I "worked" the 12 week "rediscover your creativity" program in Julia Cameron's It's Never Too Late, as a couple of examples.  The language course gave me a wonderful small group who've since met weekly with a tutor for almost 3 years, and Cameron's Morning Pages exercise continues to ground me whenever I seek it.   New activities and structures just naturally evolve from our interests.

Too busy working to have many interests or hobbies?  That was me and I worried about it.  I'm still not a hobby person but I ended up having no problem rediscovering old interests and developing new ones.   Yep, have faith in your future self! :)

 


EndlessJourney

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #11 on: January 02, 2020, 03:05:02 PM »
I agree that we shouldn't fight our basic nature, even if we could, but RE has revealed some surprises to me about my nature.  I was a very organized Type-A during my career (loved me some GTD and Workflowy!) but in retirement I'm much more Type-B and it feels "natural" to me in this phase.  I no longer need to be a Type A so I'm not.  That was a big surprise!  It's been fun figuring out what Type B me needs.

You may be right.

Not being a Type-A myself, I was basing my opinion on our travels with a Type-A personality.

We're the kind of people that wherever we are, that's where we are. The Type-A guy we were with had to know routes, dates, appointments and reservations. Scheduled departure times, scheduled meal times, scheduled arrival times. But why, man? You're on permanent vacation! Relax! Good guy, but it was impossible for us to travel together. I'm positive he felt the same way about us. I don't think it was possible for him to change his nature, even in retirement!

He never let his gas tank go below half-tank. He was constantly filling up his bike!

We're the kind of people who when the warning light for an empty tank comes on, we're like "I know my vehicle. I can still make it another x miles!"

So we get stranded a few times without gas in some interesting places. Met some cool people. Got some great stories out of it. What's life without a little bit of adventure?
« Last Edit: January 02, 2020, 03:08:33 PM by EndlessJourney »

herbgeek

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2020, 06:33:13 AM »
I retired at the end of May, and I'll still figuring this out.  I mentally gave myself 6 months for the decompression.  I got caught up on long delayed house projects, honed by gardening skills, joined a yoga as well as a strength class, have been signing up for lots of free or low cost events and its been fun.

I'm at the point now though, that I want something that makes more of a difference, and is more social in nature, and less about me and my needs.   A part time job in theory sounds good, but then I think about having to show up on a regular basis and be subject to silly rules or methodology-of-the-month, and then think again.

I don't have any trouble keeping myself /busy/, it's that it just doesn't feel like its going somewhere.  I have a long list of what I /don't/ want to do, but am still working on what I /do/ want to do.   I've done enough volunteer work over many years to know that's not necessarily what would help- certainly not volunteering for someone else's organization and someone else's mission.

I do plan my weeks to make sure needed tasks get done, and have tried to set some goals for this year, so we'll see how it goes.  I try to stay open, say yes to things that come my way and be flexible.  The hardest thing for this introvert is making friends.  I've rarely made friends outside of forced situations (school, work where you are with people every day) and now my work friends and I just don't have as much in common.  I'm a little young (59) for the senior center crowd, but I'm still friendly anyways.  I find it hard to make that step from saying hi and small talk after exercise class, to how about we go for coffee sometime.    I'm sure a sense of community would help my mental well being as well as expose me to other opportunities to get involved in activities that can give me that sense of helping the community.


infromsea

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #13 on: January 03, 2020, 07:50:55 AM »
I plan, plan, plan, and plan some more (often to the chagrin of my wife...).

We talked, cursed, begged and pleaded back and forth (wife and I) for two years before I pulled the plug from career and "retired early/moved on" to the next phase of our lives. Take your time, plan as much (or as little) as you need/want etc...

Food for thought:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/chrismyers/2018/02/23/how-to-find-your-ikigai-and-transform-your-outlook-on-life-and-business/#403dbc3f2ed4

Gerard

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #14 on: January 03, 2020, 08:13:54 AM »
Thanks to everyone who's posted in this thread so far. Almost all of it is stuff I think I needed to hear!

Malcat

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #15 on: January 03, 2020, 08:46:21 AM »
You seem to have it cracked, EndlessJourney. Perhaps I can persuade myself to have faith in my future self?!

Well, to be honest, I don't think the way we do things works for everyone. Especially amongst FIRE folks. I find myself disagreeing with a lot of opinions on this forum, so I know my views are definitely in the minority.

IMO, you've got to make retirement work for your personality. If your comfort zone is to think and plan and overthink and overplan, then don't fight your nature. I don't think it's possible to transform yourself into a Type-B personality if you're naturally a Type-A, which most people that aspire and achieve FIRE are.

Again, this may be an unpopular opinion, but I say lean into it!

Create a plan. Think of every possibility. And then every contingency if those plans don't work out. And then continue refining the plan as you're going along, when you have more experience or after bouncing your thoughts off others. You may even find an odd comfort in the midst of the process of thinking and planning.

I think the worse thing you can tell a worrier is, "Don't worry so much!" Utterly unhelpful.

It's just like telling an angry person, "Calm down, buddy"... Cause that works *so* well...

Except, being a "Type-A" person as a professional does not mean that someone *is* a "Type-A" person.

In fact, I despise those designations, as they are behaviours, not identities, and the more someone identifies themselves according to their own behavioural patterns, the more they corner themselves into those patterns.

There's a difference between being someone who really enjoys planning and micromanaging, and being someone who has an ingrained habit of planning and micromanaging because of a long professional history of needing to do so to thrive.

OP sounds stressed by the urge to try and plan, it sounds more like a discomfort with the unknown rather than a joyous anticipation of options.

It's like the difference of really enjoying the planning phase of a vacation, vs people here who stress endlessly about their WR and try to anticipate every financial risk that could befall them.

Are both "Type A"???
Who knows, who cares?

Behaviours are all manageable. If the behaviour is enriching your life, then foster it, if it isn't, then modulate it.

Lastly, just because a pattern of behaviour is ingrained and automatic, doesn't make it who the person is.
I thought I knew who I was based on my behaviours, but it turns out those behaviours were entirely context driven. I'm not competitive, I'm not performance driven, I'm not all of those things I believed I was for years. What I was, was highly motivated to be competitive and outcome-driven because my goals at the time required that behaviour.

Now they don't, and now I'm not.

The crux of my advice rests on OP giving their future self the space to figure out who they are, what their motivations are in the absence of the pressures and motivations that came from career goals.

Who knows, OP may become far more micro-manage-y if that's what future self truly enjoys.

Hell, I had no clue I was a neat freak. No clue. Not until I had the free time to keep my house absolutely spotless because what the hell else am I going to do with my ample time at home?

infromsea

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #16 on: January 03, 2020, 08:57:26 AM »
Lastly, just because a pattern of behaviour is ingrained and automatic, doesn't make it who the person is.
I thought I knew who I was based on my behaviours, but it turns out those behaviours were entirely context driven. I'm not competitive, I'm not performance driven, I'm not all of those things I believed I was for years. What I was, was highly motivated to be competitive and outcome-driven because my goals at the time required that behaviour.

Hell, I had no clue I was a neat freak. No clue. Not until I had the free time to keep my house absolutely spotless because what the hell else am I going to do with my ample time at home?

Malkynn, as usual, you are on point with your feedback, I couldn't agree more!

I would "add" to the mental model you are highlighting, I think environment plays more of a role than most of us give it credit. We are all impacted by media/tv/weather etc. and more so than we give it credit for (IMHO). Recognizing this, we can realize that "having to behave/be" a certain way at work/home/etc. doesn't mean we have to be that way everywhere/with everyone. In the military I often felt like I was "wearing a mask" because of role/rank etc. and my wife and kids even chided me for having a different "work voice" than my "at home voice" (I would argue that was a positive thing...).

The "work" comes when we change environment/role/location, as you noted, the environment often impacts/dictates behavior. With that in mind, gotta go sweep and vacuum... :)

shadowmoss

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #17 on: January 03, 2020, 09:00:36 AM »
I am reminded of a friend who retired from the Army years ago who was planning a long distance hike.  He spent down times on deployments making a spreadsheet planning every detail of the hike, equipment, stops and resupply, where he would be each day of the 3,000 mile hike.  The first night of the hike he built a small campfire, poured a drink, lit a cigar, and burned that spreadsheet in the campfire.  Then be hiked.

infromsea

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #18 on: January 03, 2020, 09:35:36 AM »
I am reminded of a friend who retired from the Army years ago who was planning a long distance hike.  He spent down times on deployments making a spreadsheet planning every detail of the hike, equipment, stops and resupply, where he would be each day of the 3,000 mile hike.  The first night of the hike he built a small campfire, poured a drink, lit a cigar, and burned that spreadsheet in the campfire.  Then be hiked.

Great illustration of the concepts being discussed here.

Often times it is the act of planning that is important, the plan itself is a relic as soon as the "project" begins. Tyson said it well, "Everyone has a plan until the first punch lands".

It's not uncommon for "newbies" (new project managers, new leaders, new parents, newly FI types) to get frustrated once things deviate from the plans (as they almost ALWAYS do) and the worst types (IMHO) are those who think the plan and "sticking to the plan" is more important than the end result or reacting to new information/changes in environment etc.

Again, great story, thanks for sharing!

Slow road to freedom

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #19 on: January 03, 2020, 11:01:41 AM »
I needed some eye opening, and the more this conversation evolves the more I realise that planning - for me [regardless of whether I am of a certain personality type or not ;-)] - is futile. Thank you all for your insights.

It's true, my paid work requires me to be uber organised, and make sure those around me a super clear about how they fit in the [business] plan. But when it comes to travel and adventure: I decide where to go, make a few arrangements (accommodation, maybe do some light research). I then enjoy the journey, the exploring, and just seeing what happens.

The answer, for me, is to be clear on those things I want to do *now* and let the rest just sit. I'll either get to it, or not. Either way I'm sure I can decide which is right at the right time.

I've just had a nice long (nearly two weeks!) break from work, and only now is the fog lifting. I actually did some reading yesterday and today, and have been enjoying the close company of my family. A lightbulb moment - this is preferable to indefinite paid employment. I have tacit agreement from DW that I can pull the plug in the next 1-3 years (I have a 1 year notice period). Rather than worry about planning what to do, I've decided to start doing a couple of things now that I've not previously prioritised (read: living). And I'm excited about it.

spartana

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #20 on: January 04, 2020, 02:56:43 PM »
I'm both a planner and a major drifter. For the basics in life like a home, money, FIRE expenses, etc I like to lock things down to provide a certain level of long term security for myself. This has become more important as I get older. After those basics are in place (as they are now) then I drift...big time. I really prefer no schedule or plans at all. I don't pre-plan travel or activities and just follow my whims. I often change directions and plans without notice because of...well some reason or another that seems like a good idea at the time. I use to make plans but almost always broke them So now just go with the flow. Of I say I'm going on a road trip to Canada for a month I will likely end up in Mexico because the North bound I-5 had heavy traffic so I went south instead. Helps that I generally travel alone ;-).

ETA I have done the homeless vagabond thing like @EndlessJourney and loved it but after a recent stint (2 years) I found I like having a more perm home base I can use whenever I want. I can still drift but have a bit more security. Again being single with out kids or any family that may be more important to me then others. Now that I have my housing situation taken care of I will leave for a road trip tomorrow...or maybe the next day...or not...and I have no idea where I'll go at all. No clue even as to the direction. Or how far I will go. Or how long. Or where I will stay. Or....well you get it ;-). I like it but I really like knowing I have a place to go back to when and if I want.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2020, 03:37:03 PM by spartana »

Omy

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #21 on: January 04, 2020, 03:33:35 PM »
I had similar concerns before FIRE. What on earth would I do with all my free time? How will I find meaning in my life?

We retired this past August and have accomplished a few things like cleaning the garage, organizing my office, clearing some of our wooded yard. The house is cleaner, we cook most of our meals (instead of our bad pre-FIRE habit of eating out all the time), and we exercise more. We read, spend more time with family and friends, and have spent time optimizing finances.

We travel more - lots of long weekends and a couple week long getaways so far. We plan our travels out a few months in advance. We participate in weekly leagues to be social and plan to start volunteering soon. We watch movies and occasional TV series. I plan to start a small garden this spring.

It's a good life and I have no idea how I got anything done when we were both working. I think it's a combination of light planning (we still keep calendars) and focused drifting - I take a look at the ever growing To Do list to see what seems interesting whenever I feel compelled to be productive.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #22 on: January 05, 2020, 03:48:33 AM »
We just recently FIREd. The loose plan is to go on many outdoorsy trips, mostly in own country and sleeping in our tent or other places that don't require booking.

So far I planned a few things, as those are events with a max number of attendees and a due date for registring. That is one weekend course, one weekend symposium (both for my hobby) and one summer camp, just for fun with people DH knows. We plan to ho to our cabin tomorrow where we like to do outdoorsy stuff. That cabin is just there to use for us and we can visit any time throughout the year. The rest we will improvise.

We have some loose plans of cycling through Europe, but that won't be planned ahead for more than a few days. We'll just bring the bicycles and the tent. Maybe we'll go to the far north in June. Then we can either drive there of book a plane without booking a return ticket ahead of time. The rest of the loosly planned trips can be done by car or by booking a plane in Europe last minute.

In generally do like to make lists, so that I don't forget to pack stuff. Last time I did not make a good enough list and I forgot a new critical things, which is annoying when we are at a trip.

Ryder

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #23 on: January 05, 2020, 03:11:56 PM »
I don't see "making sure the days donít drift by" as an essential aspect of life - though I recognize it depends on personality. If a day passes and I haven't "accomplished" something by an external measure, but I've enjoyed it because I had a nice hike and sat down on a bench looking at a landscape, that's OK and I count it as a good day. It's arguably best for health and welbeing to not descend into a pattern of total static apathy, spending every day on the couch staring at Netflix, but otherwise I lean towards enjoying freedom. There are of course aspects that require scheduling, whether it's social interactions, vacations with non-FIRE folk, stuff that just needs doing at particular times related to home/car/health/financial maintenance, etc. That's fine too.

pecunia

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #24 on: January 05, 2020, 04:00:15 PM »
It sure does look like it will be a good thing to just "be" for some months after I quit.  Seems like there are few stories of self discovery here.  Looks like a good thing.

Trudie

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #25 on: January 05, 2020, 09:40:13 PM »
In the words of John Lennon, ďIím just sittiní here watching the wheels go round and round.  I really love to watch them roll.  No longer riding on the merry go rou-ound.  I just had to let it go.Ē

Seriously, I used to be driven, list-making, scheduled to the hilt.  At first I struggled.  Then when my husband FIREd and we moved I adopted a whole new approach.  I donít claim to be a Mother Theresa, but I realized that being a loving, contributing human is enough.  And by contributing I mean a person who gives more generously of her time, compassion, and money.  I donít need to save the world.  I donít need to work for pay.  I donít have to have goals.

I do volunteer at things I enjoy.  I am getting involved in music and performing arts.  I do so because I adore the people and I finally learned that itís okay to do things because theyíre fun.  Iím not building a resume.  Iím just trying to be interested and interesting. 

To me, the yard stick is how I perceive each day.  I no longer wake with a sense of dread,  I wake with contentment and even excitement about the possibilities available to me as the day unfolds.  I sleep in when I want.  I only do things I enjoy.  Iím more deliberate.

I sincerely believe that our world needs more caring, thoughtful, conscientious people.  That is enough.

My advice:  tear up the goals and lists.  Learn to live in the moment.  Practice mindfulness and gratitude.  The world needs people who are generous in spirit.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2020, 09:44:18 PM by Trudie »

albireo13

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #26 on: January 09, 2020, 10:39:11 AM »

spartana

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #27 on: January 10, 2020, 12:44:11 PM »

Threshkin

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #28 on: January 10, 2020, 04:52:44 PM »
I did lots of planning pre FIRE,  Post FIRE those plans pretty much went out the window.  All that free time I expected to have seemed to vanish.  I cannot imagine how I could possible fit in an 8 hour work day back into my current schdule.

Sun Hat

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Re: Do you plan, drift, or something in between?
« Reply #29 on: January 10, 2020, 06:06:57 PM »
I'm nearly 3 years into FIRE and am progressing slowly from drifting to planning. I drifted for a long while, then got a dog at about the 6 month mark, which gave me a routine back. For the next two years or so, I kept my dog-based schedule, adding some short term fitness goals to add an element of drive periodically. The dog (who was already a senior when I got him) died last spring, leaving me without my predictable routine, so I started volunteering at the local dog shelter and training with a sports team. Now, I'm in a nice routine of volunteering most days, making more short term health goals, and planning some minor philanthropy projects. I've been adding more and more to my schedule over time as it feels right.

I NEEDED unscheduled time before, now I enjoy my slow busyness and I can imagine myself becoming ready to undertake projects that require some sort of commitment within the next year or so. I don't know what that'll entail, but I do know that I love being able to only do what feels good when it feels good.