You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from going to therapy. Run, don’t walk. ...
In it. It’s helping somewhat. I’m heartened by all the folks who say it’s taken years but healing has happened. That’s awesome.
It really does take years, and the longer you were in it, the longer it takes to heal. It would be weird if you could experience a lifetime of severe psychological abuse and then turn around and be happy and mentally healthy out of nowhere.
Happiness and mental health are not natural, given states in the absence of suffering. They are active skills that require training, experience, and constant practice.
Look around you, most people aren't happy and healthy. It's because they expect it to just happen and are perpetually surprised that it actually takes a lot of work.
A prisoner who is staved and beaten every day doesn't suddenly become an athlete once they escape the beatings. They're just as sick and injured as when they were in prison. It's just that now they have a chance to heal as much as possible, although some damage is permanent.
FIRE does not make you happy. It only helps create a more favourable environment within which you can now work towards happiness and health without constant barriers in your way.
Just because no one is beating you anymore doesn't mean that you aren't still beaten. Cut yourself some slack, and give your mind the space it needs to convalesce and recover.
