Author Topic: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?  (Read 40563 times)

Gone Fishing

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #50 on: March 12, 2015, 01:26:27 PM »
You know what I just figured out the other day?  Weekends, right, you have it off, you do your thing, and it's great?  But what feels even greater, by a magnitude to me, is when I take a workday off and I do my thing while everyone else is working.  Those days are qualitatively more enjoyable to me than a typical weekend day.  I can't say for sure why, but I feel much freer not working on a day I'm supposed to be working.

I feel this too! In a huge way. I get every second Friday off, and that day to me is much more enjoyable than any Saturday and Sunday off. In addition, if I choose, I can do all the grocery shopping and errand running while everyone else is at work. Feels great.
As a long term ERer I can tell you that feeling doesn't go away - it just gets awesomer over time. So it's not just related to the evil delight of being off work by playing hooky -  related more to just being free everyday overall. Being able to do "whatever, whenever" and no longer having to fit everything in on the limited time off work is really really wonderful.

The world is such a nicer place in off-peak hours!

Cookie78

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #51 on: March 12, 2015, 01:42:07 PM »
You know what I just figured out the other day?  Weekends, right, you have it off, you do your thing, and it's great?  But what feels even greater, by a magnitude to me, is when I take a workday off and I do my thing while everyone else is working.  Those days are qualitatively more enjoyable to me than a typical weekend day.  I can't say for sure why, but I feel much freer not working on a day I'm supposed to be working.

I feel this too! In a huge way. I get every second Friday off, and that day to me is much more enjoyable than any Saturday and Sunday off. In addition, if I choose, I can do all the grocery shopping and errand running while everyone else is at work. Feels great.
As a long term ERer I can tell you that feeling doesn't go away - it just gets awesomer over time. So it's not just related to the evil delight of being off work by playing hooky -  related more to just being free everyday overall. Being able to do "whatever, whenever" and no longer having to fit everything in on the limited time off work is really really wonderful.

The world is such a nicer place in off-peak hours!
So true. I now do the TGIM (Thank God It's Monday) thing big time. Can't wait for everyone to go back to work and get out of my play areas :-)!

Squeeeeeee!! I can't wait! :D

DoNorth

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #52 on: March 19, 2015, 05:46:23 AM »
yeah...being military, firefighter, LE will do that to you.  I can't even count the amount of close calls I've had....massive heat stroke at 22, shot at/almost blow up by rockets/mortars blowing through the rebar in my barracks in the Sunni triangle in 2003, the normal IEDs, and then the kicker was cancer at 34 (probably related to all the burn pit smoke I inhaled).  With a lot of luck, prayers, and an awesome medical team, I'm still here. Like you, I have much more fear of not pulling the plug soon enough.  less than 6 months out now.



ETA: One of the things that happened to me once I made the decision to leave work (and this is common for people who are retiring I hear) is I got "The Fear". Not fear that I was making a mistake or that my financials weren't in order, but fear that I would be seriously injured or killed before I could leave my job and start doing the many things I wanted to. It kind of became obsessive and seemed I was always worried about a random car accident, brain tumor, or killer asteroids that I wouldn't "make it out alive!" I rarely see others on this forum have that fear as most seem to fear cutting the cord too early. But my fear was more about staying too long at work and cutting the cord too late.

dude

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #53 on: March 19, 2015, 05:55:49 AM »
You know what I just figured out the other day?  Weekends, right, you have it off, you do your thing, and it's great?  But what feels even greater, by a magnitude to me, is when I take a workday off and I do my thing while everyone else is working.  Those days are qualitatively more enjoyable to me than a typical weekend day.  I can't say for sure why, but I feel much freer not working on a day I'm supposed to be working.

I feel this too! In a huge way. I get every second Friday off, and that day to me is much more enjoyable than any Saturday and Sunday off. In addition, if I choose, I can do all the grocery shopping and errand running while everyone else is at work. Feels great.
As a long term ERer I can tell you that feeling doesn't go away - it just gets awesomer over time. So it's not just related to the evil delight of being off work by playing hooky -  related more to just being free everyday overall. Being able to do "whatever, whenever" and no longer having to fit everything in on the limited time off work is really really wonderful.

hahaha!  I figured as much, that's why I just can't wait for that day to come!!

dude

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #54 on: March 19, 2015, 05:57:00 AM »
yeah...being military, firefighter, LE will do that to you.  I can't even count the amount of close calls I've had....massive heat stroke at 22, shot at/almost blow up by rockets/mortars blowing through the rebar in my barracks in the Sunni triangle in 2003, the normal IEDs, and then the kicker was cancer at 34 (probably related to all the burn pit smoke I inhaled).  With a lot of luck, prayers, and an awesome medical team, I'm still here. Like you, I have much more fear of not pulling the plug soon enough.  less than 6 months out now.



ETA: One of the things that happened to me once I made the decision to leave work (and this is common for people who are retiring I hear) is I got "The Fear". Not fear that I was making a mistake or that my financials weren't in order, but fear that I would be seriously injured or killed before I could leave my job and start doing the many things I wanted to. It kind of became obsessive and seemed I was always worried about a random car accident, brain tumor, or killer asteroids that I wouldn't "make it out alive!" I rarely see others on this forum have that fear as most seem to fear cutting the cord too early. But my fear was more about staying too long at work and cutting the cord too late.

mad respect . . .

StockBeard

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #55 on: March 23, 2015, 10:34:21 AM »
So, I'm trying to follow some of the advice I've received since I started this thread, but it's not going so well: I now am trying to pack family, work, and "hobbies" into my busy schedule. Work is suffering from that:, I've caught myself spending several hours a day working on my blog, and it's impacting the daily amount of productive stuff I do at work. My manager is not looking too much into what I do, but this could lead to bad things.

As others have said, there's so many hours in a day, and in the end trying to spend more time on my hobbies is actually frustrating me even more, as I realize I don't have that time... making me more and more mad at my current job.

...

Exflyboy

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #56 on: March 23, 2015, 11:09:40 AM »
Of course when the market tanks most of us who are close to whatever goal we are working towards will become very frustrated indeed!

Hoping the market will make a fresh high this week and will then roll from a 85/10/5 (stock,bond,cash)  portfolio to a 75/20/5. The idea is to have a little more in bonds so when the big pull back comes I will have some bonds to roll back into stocks..

No this is not market timing.. sorta...;)

Exhale

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #57 on: March 23, 2015, 11:17:49 AM »
RE for me can happen in 5 to 10 years, based on my family's expenses an my current revenue. Yet I now spend a huge amount of my time thinking of ways to accelerate this process. But it's not easy to make more money, and we've already been cutting a lot. At this point I wish I could just quit tomorrow, but this is not realistic, and I feel like the next 5 years of so could become the longest ones in my life. Have people who are FIRE today, ever felt that type of feeling? How does one cope with it?
---
So, I'm trying to follow some of the advice I've received since I started this thread, but it's not going so well: I now am trying to pack family, work, and "hobbies" into my busy schedule. Work is suffering from that...As others have said, there's so many hours in a day, and in the end trying to spend more time on my hobbies is actually frustrating me even more, as I realize I don't have that time... making me more and more mad at my current job.

I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going well. I appreciated you starting this thread since it resonated with my situation. Like you, there are many things that I just can't start pre-FIRE due to time constraints.

In case it helps here's what I've done:
- Made a list of what exactly I'd do when FIRE.
- Turn out that my top three are: 1) Be fit/healthy, 2) Spend time w/family&friends, 3) Be creative/make things
- I made #1 my "Preparing for FIRE" focus for this year - building an effective frugal routine for health & fitness
- I find adding that one task is do-able (along w/staying on track to FIRE and doing enough to be okay at work)
- Knowing what I do about habit formation, establishing a fitness program, etc., I recognize that it'll take a year to get things firmly in place. I'm celebrating every success along the way in this process. It has greatly helped to have this project with an immediate set of goals (which will also allow me the health to enjoy FIRE)
- Next year I look forward to again creating a list of what I'd do when FIRE, picking one more thing from the list and then making that the focus. This way I'm working towards FIRE in both financially and other ways while not feeling as if I'm simply sitting around waiting for 2021 to arrive.

Suggestion:
Maybe you could try listing out everything that you spend you time on right now along with the time spent and then:
1) Cross out any time-wasters (things you don't really need to be doing - be ruthless...and honest)
2) Calculate what the time spent should be for each
b) Reorder the list be which are your priorities
3) Begin rebalancing the time spent on each (starting with the most important one first)

Note:
I use the techniques suggested in the following two resources for working efficiently/effectively.
1) Randy Pausche's The Last Lecture
2) Tim Ferriss' Four-Hour Workweek

I hope that you are able to find a way to enjoy your present moment as you make your way to FIRE.

Daisy

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #58 on: March 23, 2015, 08:15:36 PM »
So, I'm trying to follow some of the advice I've received since I started this thread, but it's not going so well: I now am trying to pack family, work, and "hobbies" into my busy schedule. Work is suffering from that:, I've caught myself spending several hours a day working on my blog, and it's impacting the daily amount of productive stuff I do at work. My manager is not looking too much into what I do, but this could lead to bad things.

As others have said, there's so many hours in a day, and in the end trying to spend more time on my hobbies is actually frustrating me even more, as I realize I don't have that time... making me more and more mad at my current job.

...

Sounds like good kindle for  FIRE....having the desire to do stuff other than work.

I find the closer to FIRE the more I put my hobbies off. I used to spend more time on them. Now, a year or two from FIRE I just think "I'll get to it when I FIRE". Like not signing up for new art classes on weeknights. Why complicate my week now when I can do it soon after FIRE'ing.

Keeping in shape though, is something to not put off. But I know I could be doing more on that part even now. Sigh...

arebelspy

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #59 on: March 24, 2015, 01:55:09 PM »
I find the closer to FIRE the more I put my hobbies off. I used to spend more time on them. Now, a year or two from FIRE I just think "I'll get to it when I FIRE". Like not signing up for new art classes on weeknights. Why complicate my week now when I can do it soon after FIRE'ing.

I hear ya.

We've definitely done this with travel.

If we're going to be leaving in 6 months to travel the world full time, why spend the money (ad/or miles) to take a trip over spring break?
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, and now travel the world full time with a kid.
If you want to know more about me, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (occasionally) blog at AdventuringAlong.com.
You can also read my forum "Journal."

Mr. Green

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #60 on: March 24, 2015, 03:15:52 PM »
Of course when the market tanks most of us who are close to whatever goal we are working towards will become very frustrated indeed!

Hoping the market will make a fresh high this week and will then roll from a 85/10/5 (stock,bond,cash)  portfolio to a 75/20/5. The idea is to have a little more in bonds so when the big pull back comes I will have some bonds to roll back into stocks..

No this is not market timing.. sorta...;)
Unless there is no pull back and it's just stagnant for 18-24 months. Biggest reason why I don't make a move. Because if I have to concede the possibility that we could just stagnate for a while, I also have to concede that things could just keep going for now and stagnate later. Either way I potentially lose if I pull money out of stocks, even if I think the odds are there will be some kind of pull back. Totally of topic though....
FIRE, Take Two.

flyingaway

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #61 on: April 12, 2015, 07:27:18 PM »
So, I'm trying to follow some of the advice I've received since I started this thread, but it's not going so well: I now am trying to pack family, work, and "hobbies" into my busy schedule. Work is suffering from that:, I've caught myself spending several hours a day working on my blog, and it's impacting the daily amount of productive stuff I do at work. My manager is not looking too much into what I do, but this could lead to bad things.

As others have said, there's so many hours in a day, and in the end trying to spend more time on my hobbies is actually frustrating me even more, as I realize I don't have that time... making me more and more mad at my current job.

...

Sounds like good kindle for  FIRE....having the desire to do stuff other than work.

I find the closer to FIRE the more I put my hobbies off. I used to spend more time on them. Now, a year or two from FIRE I just think "I'll get to it when I FIRE". Like not signing up for new art classes on weeknights. Why complicate my week now when I can do it soon after FIRE'ing.

Keeping in shape though, is something to not put off. But I know I could be doing more on that part even now. Sigh...

I am actually doing the opposite. We will double our travel starting this year to "experience and test" our retirement travel.

Cookie78

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #62 on: April 13, 2015, 10:16:17 AM »
Read 1 book on Stoicism - Recommendations anyone??

Reading one now that I heard about somewhere else on the forum that is helping. I'm not very far into it yet, but enjoying it.

A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy
by William B. Irvine

PeteD01

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #63 on: April 13, 2015, 12:21:32 PM »
We decided to FIRE 21 months ago and decided to move to Spain exactly 12 months ago.
My wife retired two weeks ago and I will be done with working in seven weeks.

One year ago, I started studying Spanish in earnest and I intend to read one hundred Spanish novels over the next couple of years.
I chose the next novel whenever I'm about 80% done with the one I'm reading, except for the last, and here is the list so far:

1. El juego del angel (El cementerio de los libros olvidados 2)
2. La sombra del viento  (El cementerio de los libros olvidados 1)
3. Cien anos de soledad
4. El amor en los tiempos del colera
5. Hombres buenos (29%)
6. ?
...
...
...
99. ?
100. El ingenioso hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha

This project will keep me busy for some time and (ojala!) will conclude with a trip through La Mancha.





mamagoose

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #64 on: April 13, 2015, 12:47:59 PM »
I find the closer to FIRE the more I put my hobbies off. I used to spend more time on them. Now, a year or two from FIRE I just think "I'll get to it when I FIRE". Like not signing up for new art classes on weeknights. Why complicate my week now when I can do it soon after FIRE'ing.

I hear ya.

We've definitely done this with travel.

If we're going to be leaving in 6 months to travel the world full time, why spend the money (ad/or miles) to take a trip over spring break?

Same here. Knowing that FIRE is a few short years away helps quell any travel bugs. For now we're exploring our city, county, and state with lots of staycations and camping with friends. Passport trips can wait. I've also applied the same logic to becoming a fitness instructor. For now I love my studio and going there 3-5x/week, and they recently asked me to audition as an instructor, so I had to tell the owner to hang on a few years until I can really put my heart into it.
The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.

Candace

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #65 on: April 13, 2015, 02:49:20 PM »
So, I'm trying to follow some of the advice I've received since I started this thread, but it's not going so well: I now am trying to pack family, work, and "hobbies" into my busy schedule. Work is suffering from that:, I've caught myself spending several hours a day working on my blog, and it's impacting the daily amount of productive stuff I do at work. My manager is not looking too much into what I do, but this could lead to bad things.

As others have said, there's so many hours in a day, and in the end trying to spend more time on my hobbies is actually frustrating me even more, as I realize I don't have that time... making me more and more mad at my current job.

...

I can relate to this. I'm probably about three years out if the market doesn't tank. What I'd really like to be spending my time doing right now is painting the interior of my house. The former owners and I definitely do not have the same taste in color. I kind of like painting. I do it pretty meticulously, first repairing all the molding, trim and wall areas that need it, making sure surfaces are properly prepared, and making sure I put enough coats on to look very nice. I refuse to pay someone else to do it.

Last year I painted only one room, in the spring. and it was very frustrating because it took three weeks of nights and weekends to do it. (I didn't spend every night or weekend day, but most of them.) That's because of all the time one must spend getting stuff out, putting it away properly, and cleaning brushes or storing them so they don't end up as trash. Also, I ended up repainting the walls because I had inadvertently chosen a color I ended up hating, and decided to bite the bullet to correct it instead of just living with it.

If I could just paint without having to go to work, it would only take a few days, and they wouldn't be long days. Last summer I met my boyfriend, and now you could say my main hobby is enjoying time with him when we're not working. We go hiking and do lots of other fun things. He's not into painting, so I've just put off painting the other rooms...basically until FIRE. I love my house, but I know from experience that I enjoy the rooms I've painted much more now that they're colors that make me feel good, rather than, say, baby-shit brown and rusty orange.

When I first took possession of the house, the master bedroom was bright lime green. I mean, really shocking, neon green. I can't believe anyone slept a single night in that room. I knew that going in, but at the time I was working for myself and could make my own schedule! So I painted the room before moving into it. Now, my 9-to-five M-F schedule is making it difficult to get that kind of task done, because basically I want to enjoy time out and about when I'm not at the office!

So yes, I'm frustrated that I have to spend the next few years working. I'm happy with my life, but get very frustrated at having to spend so much of it at the office. There is a big world out there and I want to do lots of other things.

SugarMountain

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #66 on: April 15, 2015, 01:05:15 PM »
I totally feel this.  If we weren't out of control American consumers, I could retire this afternoon.  I don't have a concrete goal, but I would like to target July 2016 at the latest.  But, what this has led to is some serious short timer disease at work that I really need to sort out, because half assing it is not really working for me.

DecD

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #67 on: April 19, 2015, 08:15:52 AM »
We decided to FIRE 21 months ago and decided to move to Spain exactly 12 months ago.
My wife retired two weeks ago and I will be done with working in seven weeks.

One year ago, I started studying Spanish in earnest and I intend to read one hundred Spanish novels over the next couple of years.
I chose the next novel whenever I'm about 80% done with the one I'm reading, except for the last, and here is the list so far:

1. El juego del angel (El cementerio de los libros olvidados 2)
2. La sombra del viento  (El cementerio de los libros olvidados 1)
3. Cien anos de soledad
4. El amor en los tiempos del colera
5. Hombres buenos (29%)
6. ?
...
...
...
99. ?
100. El ingenioso hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha

This project will keep me busy for some time and (ojala!) will conclude with a trip through La Mancha.

If you haven't read the book Driving over Lemons, (and if you have time in between all the Spanish books you're reading!) you really should.  It's about a British couple who move to Andalucia.  Also, he was the drummer for Genesis pre-Phil Collins, so that's kind of fun:

http://www.amazon.com/Driving-over-Lemons-Chris-Stewart/dp/0754005429

Also- it sounds like you're pretty advanced, but for anyone else who might be interested-  when I was reading to improve my not-yet-fluent Spanish, I found that reading translations of the Harry Potter books in Spanish was just about the perfect level for me.  Fun interesting stories at manageable reading levels for a beginner.

FirePaddle

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #68 on: April 19, 2015, 03:49:10 PM »
I completely relate to the frustration of having it all planned out, everything is on automatic, but now the waiting is killing me. End of 2013 was figuring out our spending habits. 2014 was a year of fixing things like paying off a car loan and finishing some home improvement projects, and now for 2015, I've maxed all accounts out, including adding additional payments to the mortgage as well as investing in taxable accounts, while keeping the cash flow up for monthly bills and such.

I go to work, check the boxes, have the meetings, do that tasks, earn the cash. I know this is a completely first world problem, as we have it so good. My job is unbelievably flexible. I mean, I still need to put in my 40 hours, but I can work from home occasionally, and never need approval to take leave. None of that flexibility makes it any better though. I know the job is not a great fit for me, as I'm now a manager type where I track projects and tell others to do work, but the pay is so good that it makes sense to stick with it for 2-3 more years. I just finished reading livingafi's (Dr. Doom!) job series, and holy shit, my job is golden compared to that shit.

I'm trying to be happy every day. I'm also trying out volunteering for a fire dept, to see if a more applied role gives me more satisfaction in work, as I don't get it from my current role at the job that pays me.

We tend to do a lot of fun things in the summer (camping), and we've decided to spend some money to have some experiences there too, which is a double edged sword as many here know. I think I'm ok with that, as I know memories will be made. Plus, summer = sun, so that's usually good too!

It's nice to hear others have similar frustrations on things that you'd think would make us want to scream with happiness from the hilltops! Then again, we can't, as that would just alienate us from others we may care about.

Where do I find the FI estates among the rolling hills of FIREdom? Are we there yet?

PeteD01

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #69 on: April 20, 2015, 08:57:20 AM »
If you haven't read the book Driving over Lemons, (and if you have time in between all the Spanish books you're reading!) you really should.  It's about a British couple who move to Andalucia.  Also, he was the drummer for Genesis pre-Phil Collins, so that's kind of fun:

http://www.amazon.com/Driving-over-Lemons-Chris-Stewart/dp/0754005429


thanks for the suggestion - got to read it some time...

AlwaysBeenASaver

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #70 on: April 20, 2015, 12:03:51 PM »

I'm happy with my life, but get very frustrated at having to spend so much of it at the office. There is a big world out there and I want to do lots of other things.

I feel exactly the same way!

Cookie78

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #71 on: April 20, 2015, 12:18:39 PM »

I'm happy with my life, but get very frustrated at having to spend so much of it at the office. There is a big world out there and I want to do lots of other things.

I feel exactly the same way!

Me too. So much!

spokey doke

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #72 on: April 28, 2015, 07:35:13 AM »
To the OP's question: hell yes...Buddhist practice helps.

I'm two years and a week away.  Anyone else's work quality going downhill?  I have a really flexible job and have a history of overachieving, but now I'm making up for those years and living a semi-retired life right now.  I've been cherry picking a few interesting projects that will keep me in the game for the rest of my time, which is helping, but I'm in a downward spiral of sloughing off, feeling guilty for not being engaged - which makes me want to avoid work even more.

At times I think I'm trying to sabotage my work situation so I won't have any choice but to get out (the bridges are all burned up, so there's no going back!!!).

I'm being a bit dramatic here (my boss still gives me very high ratings), but that is how it is feeling.

As for hobbies, MMM has cornered the market recently, which may not be helping.
“The best thing about graduating from the university was that I finally had time to sit on a log and read a good book.”
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StockBeard

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #73 on: June 03, 2015, 06:59:04 PM »
Reviving this thread as I'm taking a few actions. Specifically, I took the step to switch another team in my company, and I feel this could be the change that I needed. They're doing something I'm passionate about, which is definitely not the case for my current team. My current manager is asking me to complete a bunch of projects before I switch, to an almost unrealistic level. I wasn't expecting this to be honest, and it makes me want to switch even faster, but he's pushing back.

Hopefully the change of team will happen sooner than later (2 weeks to a month), as this could really be the change I need right now.


I'm two years and a week away.  Anyone else's work quality going downhill?  I have a really flexible job and have a history of overachieving, but now I'm making up for those years and living a semi-retired life right now.  I've been cherry picking a few interesting projects that will keep me in the game for the rest of my time, which is helping, but I'm in a downward spiral of sloughing off, feeling guilty for not being engaged - which makes me want to avoid work even more.

At times I think I'm trying to sabotage my work situation so I won't have any choice but to get out (the bridges are all burned up, so there's no going back!!!).
My job is not flexible, but I am 100% in the same situation with my current team. I just can't afford to quit right now. Not so close to FI :)

forummm

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #74 on: June 03, 2015, 09:50:53 PM »
I feel the frustration. I also am not quite sure when to pull the trigger, or how to spend the intervening time. I still have some figuring out to do. I could do it really soon. Too long to type about now, but I may turn to the forum for some feedback soon.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #75 on: June 03, 2015, 11:00:08 PM »
I'm a few years away from RE. I had never really thought seriously about RE until my job became extremely boring to me last year. I found the MMM site while doing some research on how much money I'd actually need to never work again. Since my wife and myself are fairly frugal by nature, I felt the principles on this website really matched my personality, and became extremely motivated about retiring early.

RE for me can happen in 5 to 10 years, based on my family's expenses an my current revenue. Yet I now spend a huge amount of my time thinking of ways to accelerate this process. But it's not easy to make more money, and we've already been cutting a lot. At this point I wish I could just quit tomorrow, but this is not realistic, and I feel like the next 5 years of so could become the longest ones in my life.

Have people who are FIRE today, ever felt that type of feeling? How does one cope with it?

I'm not FIRE'd yet, I have 19 months to go. And it feels like time has STOPPED.  I feel like a loser for wishing away a year and a half of my life, but my job sucks hard and every day I wish it was January 2017.
FIRE'd on January 4, 2017

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #76 on: June 04, 2015, 02:46:11 AM »

ETA: One of the things that happened to me once I made the decision to leave work (and this is common for people who are retiring I hear) is I got "The Fear". Not fear that I was making a mistake or that my financials weren't in order, but fear that I would be seriously injured or killed before I could leave my job and start doing the many things I wanted to. It kind of became obsessive and seemed I was always worried about a random car accident, brain tumor, or killer asteroids that I wouldn't "make it out alive!" I rarely see others on this forum have that fear as most seem to fear cutting the cord too early. But my fear was more about staying too long at work and cutting the cord too late.

Haha, I think the same thoughts even though we are nowhere near being able to retire.:) It makes me laugh that some people on here seem to have the same thought processes as me. I suppose a lot of us are obsessive in nature lol.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #77 on: June 04, 2015, 08:25:28 AM »
@wololo, From recent personal experience, watch out on the team change.     Ensure you have commitment from your Manager's boss who manages the HR headcount budget to backfill your old spot and there is a headcount NOW open for the new spot.    I ended up straddled with 2 jobs for 16 months because I was assured by my old manager i would be backfilled in "6 weeks to 2 months".    Relief never came and now I'm stuck doing the old job under my "new manager" plus only part of the new oppty that I was promised by both old and new Managers at the time.   The old games of Management vs Labor never change no matter how sweetly they smile and BS you.   

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #78 on: June 04, 2015, 09:18:11 AM »
Reviving this thread as I'm taking a few actions. Specifically, I took the step to switch another team in my company, and I feel this could be the change that I needed. They're doing something I'm passionate about, which is definitely not the case for my current team. My current manager is asking me to complete a bunch of projects before I switch, to an almost unrealistic level. I wasn't expecting this to be honest, and it makes me want to switch even faster, but he's pushing back.

Hopefully the change of team will happen sooner than later (2 weeks to a month), as this could really be the change I need right now.


I'm two years and a week away.  Anyone else's work quality going downhill?  I have a really flexible job and have a history of overachieving, but now I'm making up for those years and living a semi-retired life right now.  I've been cherry picking a few interesting projects that will keep me in the game for the rest of my time, which is helping, but I'm in a downward spiral of sloughing off, feeling guilty for not being engaged - which makes me want to avoid work even more.

At times I think I'm trying to sabotage my work situation so I won't have any choice but to get out (the bridges are all burned up, so there's no going back!!!).
My job is not flexible, but I am 100% in the same situation with my current team. I just can't afford to quit right now. Not so close to FI :)

Congrats. I think changes like this are really helpful to shake things up, add a little excitement, and not feel so frustrated. I hope it works out for you as you expect it will.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #79 on: June 05, 2015, 10:29:08 AM »
I'm two years and a week away.  Anyone else's work quality going downhill?  I have a really flexible job and have a history of overachieving, but now I'm making up for those years and living a semi-retired life right now.  I've been cherry picking a few interesting projects that will keep me in the game for the rest of my time, which is helping, but I'm in a downward spiral of sloughing off, feeling guilty for not being engaged - which makes me want to avoid work even more.

At times I think I'm trying to sabotage my work situation so I won't have any choice but to get out (the bridges are all burned up, so there's no going back!!!).
Yep, this is me too. I'm two or three years away. I used to have a real passion for what I did, and have achieved plenty. Now I have a job that is relatively cushy but not half as motivating for me. I feel like I'm doing just enough not to get fired. I'm ashamed of myself for this (and still get good ratings, as you do, so I guess I'm my own worst critic), but can't seem to make myself get into the mindset I used to have. I kind of feel like I shouldn't be here. It's almost as if I feel like if I throw myself into work, then I've "given up" on the life I want. Weird, and not good.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #80 on: June 05, 2015, 10:36:19 AM »
I'm two years and a week away.  Anyone else's work quality going downhill?  I have a really flexible job and have a history of overachieving, but now I'm making up for those years and living a semi-retired life right now.  I've been cherry picking a few interesting projects that will keep me in the game for the rest of my time, which is helping, but I'm in a downward spiral of sloughing off, feeling guilty for not being engaged - which makes me want to avoid work even more.

At times I think I'm trying to sabotage my work situation so I won't have any choice but to get out (the bridges are all burned up, so there's no going back!!!).
Yep, this is me too. I'm two or three years away. I used to have a real passion for what I did, and have achieved plenty. Now I have a job that is relatively cushy but not half as motivating for me. I feel like I'm doing just enough not to get fired. I'm ashamed of myself for this (and still get good ratings, as you do, so I guess I'm my own worst critic), but can't seem to make myself get into the mindset I used to have. I kind of feel like I shouldn't be here. It's almost as if I feel like if I throw myself into work, then I've "given up" on the life I want. Weird, and not good.

Wow. I identify with this so intensely!

mobrie

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #81 on: June 05, 2015, 11:38:14 AM »
I'm two years and a week away.  Anyone else's work quality going downhill?  I have a really flexible job and have a history of overachieving, but now I'm making up for those years and living a semi-retired life right now.  I've been cherry picking a few interesting projects that will keep me in the game for the rest of my time, which is helping, but I'm in a downward spiral of sloughing off, feeling guilty for not being engaged - which makes me want to avoid work even more.

At times I think I'm trying to sabotage my work situation so I won't have any choice but to get out (the bridges are all burned up, so there's no going back!!!).
Yep, this is me too. I'm two or three years away. I used to have a real passion for what I did, and have achieved plenty. Now I have a job that is relatively cushy but not half as motivating for me. I feel like I'm doing just enough not to get fired. I'm ashamed of myself for this (and still get good ratings, as you do, so I guess I'm my own worst critic), but can't seem to make myself get into the mindset I used to have. I kind of feel like I shouldn't be here. It's almost as if I feel like if I throw myself into work, then I've "given up" on the life I want. Weird, and not good.

Wow. I identify with this so intensely!

I totally feel this way. I just can't care about work anymore. I am about 8 months from FIRE. I just want to quit now. I don't mind working, but I do mind working full time sitting in a cubicle. I think I could happily work part time jobs as a semi-retirement until we are comfortable with totally pulling the plug. Of course, this thinking just strengthens the desire to quit now. My husband is more motivated to stick it out for 8 months. Either way, I will get there. I do try to remind myself each day how fortunate I am to be able to retire at 40. I also spend a lot of time each day reading the Post-FIRE forum. I'm not sure if that is helping the work situation, but it is helping me to stay sane. Keep your posts coming!

Cookie78

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #82 on: June 05, 2015, 11:48:00 AM »
I'm two years and a week away.  Anyone else's work quality going downhill?  I have a really flexible job and have a history of overachieving, but now I'm making up for those years and living a semi-retired life right now.  I've been cherry picking a few interesting projects that will keep me in the game for the rest of my time, which is helping, but I'm in a downward spiral of sloughing off, feeling guilty for not being engaged - which makes me want to avoid work even more.

At times I think I'm trying to sabotage my work situation so I won't have any choice but to get out (the bridges are all burned up, so there's no going back!!!).
Yep, this is me too. I'm two or three years away. I used to have a real passion for what I did, and have achieved plenty. Now I have a job that is relatively cushy but not half as motivating for me. I feel like I'm doing just enough not to get fired. I'm ashamed of myself for this (and still get good ratings, as you do, so I guess I'm my own worst critic), but can't seem to make myself get into the mindset I used to have. I kind of feel like I shouldn't be here. It's almost as if I feel like if I throw myself into work, then I've "given up" on the life I want. Weird, and not good.

Wow. I identify with this so intensely!

I totally feel this way. I just can't care about work anymore. I am about 8 months from FIRE. I just want to quit now. I don't mind working, but I do mind working full time sitting in a cubicle. I think I could happily work part time jobs as a semi-retirement until we are comfortable with totally pulling the plug. Of course, this thinking just strengthens the desire to quit now. My husband is more motivated to stick it out for 8 months. Either way, I will get there. I do try to remind myself each day how fortunate I am to be able to retire at 40. I also spend a lot of time each day reading the Post-FIRE forum. I'm not sure if that is helping the work situation, but it is helping me to stay sane. Keep your posts coming!

Lol. Ya. Exactly. I have about 26 months left (also around age 40), but I'm constantly trying to figure out how to quit sooner, even if it means having to work seasonally or part time. I don't mind the work but I hate having to work on their schedule. But because most of my net worth is tied up in real estate and pension (most of which I can't access until age 50) there aren't a lot of reasonable options other than waiting patiently and hoping the real estate market picks up. But I am thankful to be having this problem now and not in my 60s.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #83 on: June 27, 2015, 01:00:52 AM »
I'm unsure of my month count, but it's coming soon. I'm not close enough that passport travel had stopped, and I'm headed to South America for the first time after extensive European travel. Thanks for the Harry Potter in Spanish suggestion. I'd like to work back up to conversational before my Christmas trip, I love those books, and my library had them, so I've got the first two on the way now. Is also like to pass a possible Spanish proficiency test in the coming year, so here's hoping HP can help.
Retired:  April 2016
Currently:  Serving in the Peace Corps
Sure this is technically a job (the toughest you'll ever love, I hear), but I went from 60-90 hrs a week to living in a foreign country on Uncle Sam's dime teaching English ~20 hrs/week when schools in session, so I'll take it.
What's next?  Spain!  Vietnam!  Several countries in South America!  I may have a problem.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #84 on: June 27, 2015, 06:50:32 AM »
I originally had October 2017 as the goal for retirement.   Everyday that I have a BS day at work, I definitely feel the frustration of being close but not there yet.  This motivates me to re-look at numbers and do a reality check on expenses.  I load and reload numbers and scenarios into retirement calculators.  I moved the date to June 2017.   And now, with another BS week at work this past week, I'm setting a stretch goal of June 2016.   Frustration can be a good thing.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #85 on: July 08, 2015, 06:48:47 AM »
I think I have read this whole thread at least three times.  I'm five (maybe four?) years out.  I've always been a super efficient worker, so its pretty easy to get my must-do's done in about 2 hours and have waaaay too much time in my office knowing I should be doing something productive and not really motivated.  This forum is both helping and hurting--very easy to spend 8 hours browsing the comments! 

So my new plan is to get more work to do to make the time in office go faster.  I'm losing a direct report and it will take at least 2 months to hire a new one, so that should help!  Also focusing on trying to be more mindful and patient with my kids.  One of my post-FIRE goals is to really build strong relationships with my two kids, but that definitely can't wait!

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #86 on: July 10, 2015, 04:49:02 AM »
Once I reach my number, my FIRE plan will kick in. It could be soon, when it happens I am walking out of the job, even if its mid phone call. I am that clinical about it.
p.s. I get this from friends a lot…

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"Whatever the hell I feel like doing on any given day."

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #87 on: July 10, 2015, 06:26:14 AM »
After I receive my paycheck today, I have 43 more paychecks.  February, 2017 is my date.  I am proud of what my husband and I have accomplished as two small market media (radio and TV) people.  In our industry, sitting on the net worth we are at is unheard of.  I took a mindless accounting job three years ago for the health insurance and to speed up FIRE.  I think my co-workers and boss would be stunned to know my future plans.  So I sit there and count the days and tweak my FIRE spreadsheets with a smirk on my face.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #88 on: July 11, 2015, 09:39:27 AM »
I find the closer to FIRE the more I put my hobbies off. I used to spend more time on them. Now, a year or two from FIRE I just think "I'll get to it when I FIRE". Like not signing up for new art classes on weeknights. Why complicate my week now when I can do it soon after FIRE'ing.

I hear ya.

We've definitely done this with travel.

If we're going to be leaving in 6 months to travel the world full time, why spend the money (ad/or miles) to take a trip over spring break?

We are FI, but not RE yet. Since I teach at school and have four month vacation each year, there seems to be no need to RE. However, I do feel the same way towards working. I used to work in Summer without paying (academic stuffs, you know), but not any more.

I plan to do a lot of travel in retirement. What I am doing now is to double the number of trips each year. So I plan to visit two new countries each year starting this year (plus some visited countries). I know I will travel around the world, I just take it one by one. The other things that I spend lots of time on these days are gardening, grafting fruit trees, etc.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #89 on: July 18, 2015, 10:14:33 AM »
Feeling frustrated now, I see two years left or five with lots of cushioning. I'll work on the relaxing list because I'm constantly looking at the numbers.

NearlyThere

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #90 on: July 19, 2015, 03:03:37 AM »

Okay, I'll give this a go...

I want to retire in order to:
1) Support my health and fitness
2) Meaningfully engage with family/friends
3) Achieve greater excellence in my work
- Time to develop improved strategies
- Being able to work wherever and with whomever I wish
4) Learn to draw, kayak, speak Spanish, dance

I plan to use my time when I retire in these ways:
1) Take good care of my body and spirit
2) Have rewarding relationships with friends/family
3) Offer excellence in my field of endeavor
4) Draw, kayak, speak Spanish, dance

This!

One thing I have found extremely motivating is bringing forward a mini-fire or pretirement to next year when we take a month away from everything and are moving to spain as a tester to FIRE. One month of self improvement in pretty much every point above you have made and time with my family. Its next May and FIRE is 12-18 months after that.

The total cost is 0.5% of my fire amount or approximately 2 weeks additional work. But by having an earlier goal than full FIRE, I have found my motivation massively increased.

Exhale

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #91 on: July 19, 2015, 07:52:48 AM »

Okay, I'll give this a go...

I want to retire in order to:
1) Support my health and fitness
2) Meaningfully engage with family/friends
3) Achieve greater excellence in my work
- Time to develop improved strategies
- Being able to work wherever and with whomever I wish
4) Learn to draw, kayak, speak Spanish, dance

I plan to use my time when I retire in these ways:
1) Take good care of my body and spirit
2) Have rewarding relationships with friends/family
3) Offer excellence in my field of endeavor
4) Draw, kayak, speak Spanish, dance


This!

One thing I have found extremely motivating is bringing forward a mini-fire or pretirement to next year when we take a month away from everything and are moving to spain as a tester to FIRE. One month of self improvement in pretty much every point above you have made and time with my family. Its next May and FIRE is 12-18 months after that.

The total cost is 0.5% of my fire amount or approximately 2 weeks additional work. But by having an earlier goal than full FIRE, I have found my motivation massively increased.

What a great idea. If you feel inclined I'd love to read you journal of this experience. Good luck!

NearlyThere

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #92 on: July 19, 2015, 09:58:35 AM »
I started a blog http://gettingfired.co.uk, but really this is a journal for me to document life towards FI. What works and what hasn't. Quite personal but completely anonymous.



Rollin

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #93 on: July 20, 2015, 08:51:56 AM »
I have so many things I want to do "once I retire"....learn another language, study horticulture and philosophy, bike, hike and spend time in fitness classes...But there's nothing really stopping me from doing more of that right now, instead of waiting for another 850 days! 

This really hits home for me. What a great way to explain the value of living in the moment while pursuing FIRE.

It's okay to plan for the future, but if you undermine today or dismiss it while waiting you'll be unhappy for sure.  Remember that old old saying that it is the journey, not the destination - although planning on arriving at a particular destination early (RE) ain't so bad !
I love being outside.

Cookie78

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #94 on: July 20, 2015, 09:14:18 AM »
I have so many things I want to do "once I retire"....learn another language, study horticulture and philosophy, bike, hike and spend time in fitness classes...But there's nothing really stopping me from doing more of that right now, instead of waiting for another 850 days! 

This really hits home for me. What a great way to explain the value of living in the moment while pursuing FIRE.

It's okay to plan for the future, but if you undermine today or dismiss it while waiting you'll be unhappy for sure.  Remember that old old saying that it is the journey, not the destination - although planning on arriving at a particular destination early (RE) ain't so bad !

I still have moments of impatience to get to FIRE, but I'm finally starting to settle in to enjoying this process and living and enjoying my life each day as it comes. Lucky too, because if the doom and gloom people are (finally after 7 years) right in their predictions I may have to wait a couple extra years until I can FIRE. But I'm actually ok with that. I'll just continue learning Spanish, working on my yard and garden (which is finally becoming a place I can just sit outside peacefully and enjoy, without just seeing the many projects that need to be done), building meaningful relationships, decluttering, playing with my dog, and improving myself.

It's a very nice, calm place to be mentally and emotionally.

Exhale

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #95 on: July 20, 2015, 09:43:54 AM »
I started a blog http://gettingfired.co.uk, but really this is a journal for me to document life towards FI. What works and what hasn't. Quite personal but completely anonymous.

Thank you - I've just bookmarked it and look forward to reading/following. Also, congratulations on your new family member!

Rollin

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #96 on: July 20, 2015, 12:00:12 PM »
When I started down the path 3 years ago  I felt the same way and my job seemed more burdensome than ever before.  Optimise, plan and track and make mini goals, and so on but the time has to pass. See if you can find a job not so boring.

Its still valuable time, you don't want to waste 5-10 years of your life being antsy about quitting. Instead choose to be happy. Ultimately whether working or retired you  are responsible to choose to be happy. Once your job is gone, you won't be able to blame it for your unhappy state: its still up to you. Wake up every day and choose to be happy. Be happy you have a job that allows you to FIRE, be happy you have a job, be happy you can turn a tap and hot water comes out….

Yeah, I'm totally doing this -- it's just that my own personal time for doing this, outside of work, feels VERY limiting!

You know what I just figured out the other day?  Weekends, right, you have it off, you do your thing, and it's great?  But what feels even greater, by a magnitude to me, is when I take a workday off and I do my thing while everyone else is working.  Those days are qualitatively more enjoyable to me than a typical weekend day.  I can't say for sure why, but I feel much freer not working on a day I'm supposed to be working.

Occasionally, when I am far far away on maybe a two or three week vacation (picture Newfoundland on my Ducati and coming from Florida) I will (and I say occasionally, but probably "rarely" is a better descriptor) I will think of my coworkers working away.  I think to myself "gosh, we spend an awful lot of time at work!"  Then, I start up the bike and head on further to some remote shore, and get a nice fish sandwich at a local shop (what else is there in Newfoundland??).
I love being outside.

NearlyThere

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #97 on: July 21, 2015, 01:07:09 AM »
I started a blog http://gettingfired.co.uk, but really this is a journal for me to document life towards FI. What works and what hasn't. Quite personal but completely anonymous.

Thank you - I've just bookmarked it and look forward to reading/following. Also, congratulations on your new family member!

Ah cheers, yeah having a baby....life changing. All great, though the sleepless nights are now taking a toll on me. Wouldn't change it for the world.

« Last Edit: July 21, 2015, 05:35:10 AM by MajorFacepunch »

Reepekg

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #98 on: July 22, 2015, 11:48:00 AM »
Yes, tweaking the spreadsheets and slowly going crazy over here...
'Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand, and I will move the world.' --Archimedes

Geek

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #99 on: July 26, 2015, 06:10:21 PM »
About 23 months out now, and I may "soft" RE before my SO in the spring - he took a couple of nearly 0 earning years for an idea and I get a turn too! Every day is madness in my head though! Ugh! And I *like* my job ok.