Author Topic: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?  (Read 33155 times)

BriarRose111

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #100 on: July 28, 2015, 11:10:44 AM »
I can so relate to this thread. I am not sure of my FIRE date yet, I have a ways to go.  5 years tops though. 

I've been at my current job less than a year, need to be here 3 years to get fully vested in my 401K, (which will be a big contributor to my FIRE), and most days I'm not sure I can make it another 3 weeks let alone 2 more years. Or 5.   I am hyper focussed on my net worth spreadsheet and saving every dollar I can but also trying to spend a little to enjoy life now.

Lately I've been thinking about the HR Manager from my first real job, in a factory, when I was 18. She told me when I started, that I  might get assigned some jobs that I really don't enjoy, and in fact maybe really don't like and am bored doing. She told me, "MAKE it a fun job.  You can make yourself enjoy and be happy doing what you're doing". 

Going to give that a try here, now.  But honestly, it's tough - and I dream of quitting and doing just about anything else. 
« Last Edit: July 28, 2015, 01:49:43 PM by BriarRose111 »

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #101 on: July 28, 2015, 12:13:43 PM »
Lately I've been thinking about the HR Manager from my first real job, in a factory. She told me when I started, that I  might get assigned some jobs that I really don't enjoy, and in fact maybe really don't like and am bored doing. She told me, "MAKE it a fun job.  You can make yourself enjoy and be happy doing what you're doing". 

Going to give that a try here, now.  But honestly, it's tough - and I dream of quitting and doing just about anything else.

Yep good advice, I've been working on that lately too.  I use it as a thought exercise.  If I were FIRE'd but decided I wanted to do what I did now in a more enjoyable capacity, just because I liked it, what would that ideal situation look like?  With that mind, what can I do now in my current job to bring it more in line?  I can't do much about the 40 hours (yet), but I'm working remotely for all of August so I can go back east to stay with my parents without burning vacation.  I work in IT and one of the things I like about the field is learning new things and tinkering, so I find things I want to learn about and figure out a way to incorporate it in our environment and use work time to learn it.  I also got more vacation than the company maximum, just by asking.  When I get back I'm going to start working from home (was starting to do this a while back but my old boss left and this fell off) and just try to increase the days as they get used to it.  Next year I may forgo the annual raise and ask to go down to 4 days/week, and maybe give up some salary if needed, not sure yet how to swing it.

Not all jobs are this flexible, but really this company is generally pretty uptight, so no one even tries to ask for stuff like this.  Not sure if it's fear or what.  Having FU money has tended to give me more confidence to just ask for what I want.  And maybe there's an undertone of it not exactly being a question...

BFGirl

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #102 on: February 11, 2016, 10:03:19 AM »
Reviving this topic.  Hope no one minds.

I am now at a little less than 5 years, when I can take my pension. I am bored with my job and sick of political BS.  My job is also emotionally draining.  I drag my ass in late everyday, get to work from home 2-3 days a month, have fabulous PTO and benefits.  Yet I still dream of just chucking it all in and quitting.  My job gets done and I got a higher than usual raise last year, in spite of totally feeling like I'm slacking off.  I just want to do what I want to do and not be at anyone's beck and call. Why am I dreaming of RE all the time?

Vertical Mode

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #103 on: February 11, 2016, 10:12:00 AM »
Reviving this topic.  Hope no one minds.

I am now at a little less than 5 years, when I can take my pension. I am bored with my job and sick of political BS.  My job is also emotionally draining.  I drag my ass in late everyday, get to work from home 2-3 days a month, have fabulous PTO and benefits.  Yet I still dream of just chucking it all in and quitting.  My job gets done and I got a higher than usual raise last year, in spite of totally feeling like I'm slacking off.  I just want to do what I want to do and not be at anyone's beck and call. Why am I dreaming of RE all the time?

Thanks for the nudge. I'm in a similar boat, where the main input I need at this point is time for stock gains to compound and propel me to FIRE. I just want to be there already!
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BFGirl

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #104 on: February 11, 2016, 11:00:15 AM »
Reviving this topic.  Hope no one minds.

I am now at a little less than 5 years, when I can take my pension. I am bored with my job and sick of political BS.  My job is also emotionally draining.  I drag my ass in late everyday, get to work from home 2-3 days a month, have fabulous PTO and benefits.  Yet I still dream of just chucking it all in and quitting.  My job gets done and I got a higher than usual raise last year, in spite of totally feeling like I'm slacking off.  I just want to do what I want to do and not be at anyone's beck and call. Why am I dreaming of RE all the time?
I chucked my job 8 years before I was eligible to get my pension. Best thing I ever did and no regrets. However I did set myself up beforehand to live fairly leanly just on savings/investments during g those years. No debt, paid off house, cheap medical, and frugal lifestyle. If you're in a similar situation then no reason not to go for it. Then when you do start getting a pension I'll fell like a huge raise. There's something magical about not working for 8 years, getting use to a lower income and spending level, and a bunch of money starts magically showing up in your bank account.

I have no debt and a substantial sum set aside.  Working on getting leaner, although I don't want to be as lean as some Mustachians.   I guess I'm afraid to chuck it all just yet.  Partly because I over think everything and partly because I have a 21 year old and 18 year old to get launched in the next 2-3 years.  Of course, it is nice having kind of an FU attitude about my job right now, because I know I'd ultimately be fine.  Guess I should find out what my pension will be if I quit now.  That would help me plan better.

Exflyboy

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #105 on: February 11, 2016, 11:49:27 AM »
Hehe.. I'm well past the goal but I sure do feel the current 15% pullback in the DOW from last year's highs.

Then I think.. Hmm, if it gets down to 20% I'm going to have to rebalance..:)

winostache

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #106 on: February 11, 2016, 03:21:54 PM »
I'm definitely feeling frustration some days and I'm not even that close to the goal!  Assuming everything stays the same, I'm looking at 8-9 more years working, but I'll definitely get raises, almost definitely move, maybe get married, and might start a family in that time span.  There are so many directions my finances and life can go but there's no way to settle any of these decisions except to wait for time to move.

Since I'm a planner who likes playing around in spreadsheets, I've run through a lot of scenarios but no amount of tweaking will tell me if I should buy a house in my current area or how I'll want to handle parenting a baby.  Luckily this forum lets me watch other people make those types of decisions and I can feel grateful for none of the corresponding stress :)

Luckily, MMM has helped me have a sense of the type of life I want to lead, both now and when I retire.  I much prefer this frustration to a hazy ignorance or denial about what my future may hold.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #107 on: April 19, 2017, 06:43:09 PM »
OP here feeling like updating this thread. Two years after the original post, here's the status:
It's been 2 grueling years. The good news is that we're now at a good financial point, and I should be able to pull the plug in about 2 years, faster than I initially imagined (we won't be fully FI by the time I quit, but I have another source of income through a hobby, which should be able to bridge the gap). Thinking that I'm halfway there (since I posted this thread), and that we have big changes coming soon (we're moving back to Japan) is helping a lot.

In the past 2 years I've tried a few things including changing teams, and now moving back to another country. Not that these things in themselves have made the job better (although I genuinely thought changing teams would help), but it provides some relief, as other have stated, to have some short term milestones in order to not only look at the dreadful "years from now" goal. By dividing in smaller steps, I've managed to stay reasonably sane.

Then again, looking back at my blog, I can see that I've been progressively less and less happy about my job over the past 3 years. I don't think it will improve much, but I'm getting closer to the exit. So I don't think I would recommend my "strategy" of staying in the same job, to anyone. But I didn't have the balls to make a carrier change, while being so close to the end of corporate duty.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #108 on: April 19, 2017, 09:36:07 PM »
Our target FIRE date is in May of 2018 and I have to confess that sometimes we just don't want to wait.

dude

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #109 on: April 20, 2017, 06:33:52 AM »
OP here feeling like updating this thread. Two years after the original post, here's the status:
It's been 2 grueling years. The good news is that we're now at a good financial point, and I should be able to pull the plug in about 2 years, faster than I initially imagined (we won't be fully FI by the time I quit, but I have another source of income through a hobby, which should be able to bridge the gap). Thinking that I'm halfway there (since I posted this thread), and that we have big changes coming soon (we're moving back to Japan) is helping a lot.

In the past 2 years I've tried a few things including changing teams, and now moving back to another country. Not that these things in themselves have made the job better (although I genuinely thought changing teams would help), but it provides some relief, as other have stated, to have some short term milestones in order to not only look at the dreadful "years from now" goal. By dividing in smaller steps, I've managed to stay reasonably sane.

Then again, looking back at my blog, I can see that I've been progressively less and less happy about my job over the past 3 years. I don't think it will improve much, but I'm getting closer to the exit. So I don't think I would recommend my "strategy" of staying in the same job, to anyone. But I didn't have the balls to make a carrier change, while being so close to the end of corporate duty.

Damn, holy shit, I can remember responding to this post TWO YEARS AGO!  Wow.  Was 4 years from FIRE then, am 2 years from FIRE now. Job is the same, net worth has grown considerably (from $823,581 then to $1,217,494 now -- whoa, this is the first time I've made this comparison!), desire to GTFO has increased exponentially.  I'm starting to loathe coming to work.  Tired of the job, tired of the people, tired of putting off living my life the way I want to live it 24/7. Two more fucking years!  Jesus, it can't go by fast enough.  Until then, I'll continue saving, living, traveling, training, and just doing all the things I can outside of this godforsaken office to keep me happy.

[/modified to correct current net worth!i]
« Last Edit: April 20, 2017, 06:38:58 AM by dude »

Dicey

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #110 on: April 20, 2017, 10:15:39 AM »
Dude! What are you waiting for? I know this sounds flip, but really, what are your goals?
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RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #111 on: April 20, 2017, 10:23:59 AM »
Thanks for the update, op.  Glad you're figure figuring out ways to keep the time from dragging.

desire to GTFO has increased exponentially.  I'm starting to loathe coming to work.  Tired of the job, tired of the people, tired of putting off living my life the way I want to live it 24/7. Two more fucking years!  Jesus, it can't go by fast enough.

I'm the same way.  I feel bad complaining, because I know I have it good, but the closer I get, the harder it is to sit inside looking out at a beautiful day like today and thinking about what I'd be doing if I didn't have to be here (sailing).

dude

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #112 on: April 20, 2017, 12:17:06 PM »
Dude! What are you waiting for? I know this sounds flip, but really, what are your goals?

To secure my pension eligibility! Plan on retiring the day I reach eligibility (May 7, 2019). I can do two more years here standing on my head for the lifetime income stream and health benefits coming my way! But I shall bitch about it daily!

dude

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #113 on: April 20, 2017, 12:18:11 PM »
Thanks for the update, op.  Glad you're figure figuring out ways to keep the time from dragging.

desire to GTFO has increased exponentially.  I'm starting to loathe coming to work.  Tired of the job, tired of the people, tired of putting off living my life the way I want to live it 24/7. Two more fucking years!  Jesus, it can't go by fast enough.

I'm the same way.  I feel bad complaining, because I know I have it good, but the closer I get, the harder it is to sit inside looking out at a beautiful day like today and thinking about what I'd be doing if I didn't have to be here (sailing).

Amen, for me it would be climbing or snowboarding.

albireo13

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #114 on: April 20, 2017, 06:51:08 PM »
For me it's not that the job is horrible ... it's the thought that each day at the office is one more day of my life I won't get back.

Spending your time in dull, inane meetings ......



BFGirl

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #115 on: April 25, 2017, 10:06:43 AM »
3 years, 8 months and 6 days until eligible for pension and partial health benefits

Some days I'm fine, but the days that I am creatively inspired and have to drag my ass into work to deal with other people's problems are excruciating. 

StockBeard

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #116 on: April 25, 2017, 10:16:10 AM »
deal with other people's problems.
Exactly. Even on the good days, I can't help but realize that I'm making other people's dreams becoming reality, not mine. (In this case, my CEO and a handful of people who come up with the "next big thing")

evanc

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #117 on: April 25, 2017, 02:53:22 PM »
So, I'm trying to follow some of the advice I've received since I started this thread, but it's not going so well: I now am trying to pack family, work, and "hobbies" into my busy schedule. Work is suffering from that:, I've caught myself spending several hours a day working on my blog, and it's impacting the daily amount of productive stuff I do at work. My manager is not looking too much into what I do, but this could lead to bad things.

As others have said, there's so many hours in a day, and in the end trying to spend more time on my hobbies is actually frustrating me even more, as I realize I don't have that time... making me more and more mad at my current job.

...

 Have you read, "present over perfect?"

 It might be just what you were looking for.  :)

StockBeard

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #118 on: April 25, 2017, 03:17:14 PM »

 Have you read, "present over perfect?"

 It might be just what you were looking for.  :)
Thanks, I didn't know this book. This looks like it could apply to my situation, I'll try to snatch a copy at the library.

Gumption

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #119 on: May 09, 2017, 08:30:26 AM »
Enjoying this thread. I logged on today to start something similar (although I know its gotta be a common topic/concern).

I am around 5 years until FI (hopefully), and now it seems like its the compound interest waiting game as well as the stress of hoping my current gig can hold out for just that much longer so I can continue to shovel cash into Vanguard.

I have some hobbies, which are dying on the vine a bit lately as most of my energies have been spend trying to maximize savings.
I do want to take some classes and have a few other ideas post FIRE. My wife just told me the other day, "why don't you start some of those now?"

I know she is right. Perhaps why I haven't started on these new interests is that the frustration of where I am at (so close but yet so far away) is actually the fuel that keeps me being frugal.

Dunno. Loving everyone's advice though -- particularly those post-FIREs who are giving tips on what they would have done differently in this stage.

Norgirl

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #120 on: June 28, 2017, 12:40:08 AM »
Thank you so much for starting this thread!

I'm 6.5 months away from Pareto-retirement and will leave for maternity leave and never come back. I'll be 37. Work is sooo boring, the politics are mind-boggling, the racing rats around me unpleasant.

Like @retired? I made a spreadsheet that calculates how many days I will be paid for each day I bother rocking up to work. It now stands at over 200% and yet I'm struggling motivationwise. Today I honestly want to just scream and walk out now.

I had the same thought as @spokeydoke maybe my lack of motivation is some kind of subconscious sabotage to make sure I don't move the goal post and defer... I have always been a hard worker

The fear @spartane mentioned? Big tick.

Couple that with the feeling of "what does it matter, this goal is arbitrary, can't I just leave now" @financial.velociraptor mentioned.

I don't have any answers but it feels sooo good to know it's not only me. I love this forum.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2017, 03:28:45 AM by Norgirl »

life_travel

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #121 on: June 28, 2017, 04:31:05 PM »
Thank you so much for starting this thread!

I'm 6.5 months away from Pareto-retirement and will leave for maternity leave and never come back. I'll be 37. Work is sooo boring, the politics are mind-boggling, the racing rats around me unpleasant.

Like @retired? I made a spreadsheet that calculates how many days I will be paid for each day I bother rocking up to work. It now stands at over 200% and yet I'm struggling motivationwise. Today I honestly want to just scream and walk out now.

I had the same thought as @spokeydoke maybe my lack of motivation is some kind of subconscious sabotage to make sure I don't move the goal post and defer... I have always been a hard worker

The fear @spartane mentioned? Big tick.

Couple that with the feeling of "what does it matter, this goal is arbitrary, can't I just leave now" @financial.velociraptor mentioned.

I don't have any answers but it feels sooo good to know it's not only me. I love this forum.

What is Pareto retirement ? I tried googling it this morning but not sure if I got right answers :)

Norgirl

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #122 on: June 28, 2017, 05:48:36 PM »
Oh sorry it is used in the entrepreneurship sub forum so I thought it was an MMM term.
Link to other thread

Exflyboy

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #123 on: June 28, 2017, 06:27:08 PM »
I'm just coming up on one year without a paycheck and dw quit last Friday.

I so remember being so anxious for the job to be over back in 2014. I really was wondering if I could do the last 3 months.

Then out of the blue.. They fired me (well I sort of might have helped a bit.. cough.. square peg round hole that sort of thing..:)..).

Then I never had to go work there ever again.

I took some pt jobs just for fun and have to say it was the most fun I have ever had at work.. Go figure..:)

Norgirl

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #124 on: June 28, 2017, 06:33:25 PM »

I so remember being so anxious for the job to be over back in 2014. I really was wondering if I could do the last 3 months.

Then out of the blue.. They fired me (well I sort of might have helped a bit.. cough.. square peg round hole that sort of thing..:)..).

Then I never had to go work there ever again.

Is it bad that I feel intense jealousy? Congratulations on finding freedom!

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #125 on: June 28, 2017, 08:04:23 PM »
I'm in this boat, too.  I'm starting to really dislike work.  There are a lot of new projects and processes that will take place in two or three years and I just don't want to have to deal with it all. 

A couple more years will make a big difference in dh's pension.   I don't think I could sell him on me retiring a few years earlier.  I have the higher income, but he's got the defined benefit pension.

We've got a good stache and are inheriting some additional funds, but we've got one kid in college and another starting the year after next.  We have most of it saved, but not all, and paying for 4 years is our deal, and is important to us.

Plus, I think one will be difficult to fledge.  She's got untreated depression she refuses to get help for and it breaks my heart.  So, I'll suck it up for now.

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #126 on: June 28, 2017, 08:10:38 PM »

I so remember being so anxious for the job to be over back in 2014. I really was wondering if I could do the last 3 months.

Then out of the blue.. They fired me (well I sort of might have helped a bit.. cough.. square peg round hole that sort of thing..:)..).

Then I never had to go work there ever again.

Is it bad that I feel intense jealousy? Congratulations on finding freedom!

Not at all.. Especially if it motivates you to save. Besides I am older than you so therefore likely to die sooner. So you're probably in a better place than I am overall..:)

arebelspy

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #127 on: June 29, 2017, 12:05:02 PM »
The wife got itchy feet towards the end.

So we retired a year before our plan said we could, and did one less year (OLY).

We accepted this made the likelihood of having to go back to work shoot way up, but we were ready for a break.

Two years in, with net worth up multiple six figures and cash flow well over our expenses, it looks like we'll be okay.  We didn't know it at the time, but we accepted the consequences of the worst case scenario (going back to work) in order to get out early.

Could be worth thinking about, for some.  :)
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, and now travel the world full time with a kid.
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Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #128 on: June 29, 2017, 01:51:02 PM »
The wife got itchy feet towards the end.

So we retired a year before our plan said we could, and did one less year (OLY).

We accepted this made the likelihood of having to go back to work shoot way up, but we were ready for a break.

Two years in, with net worth up multiple six figures and cash flow well over our expenses, it looks like we'll be okay.  We didn't know it at the time, but we accepted the consequences of the worst case scenario (going back to work) in order to get out early.

Could be worth thinking about, for some.  :)

I got really antsy and did "seven months less".  That last seven month were bigger financially because my exit date was planned AFTER collecting an annual bonus which I forewent to leave early.  I just couldn't take it anymore.  I had an unexpected expense two weeks later: I had made a bonehead math error on the previous year's tax return and had to cough up my refund plus another 3 thousand dollars to get even with Uncle Sugar.  Things still worked out as I retired into a raging bull market.

I had really expected to work part time (I was planned to get a job as an usher at a live music venue to make minimum + free concerts (work I could tolerate).  But it was unnecessary.  I might get that usher job next year anyway just for funsies.
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arebelspy

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We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, and now travel the world full time with a kid.
If you want to know more about me, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (occasionally) blog at AdventuringAlong.com.
You can also read my forum "Journal."

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #130 on: June 29, 2017, 03:30:22 PM »
You seem to be an example of someone who ER'd before being FI:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/what-is-your-primary-goal-fi-or-er/msg1605085/#msg1605085

Yes, I was well short of 25X when I escaped the corporate grind.
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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #131 on: June 29, 2017, 04:09:28 PM »
You seem to be an example of someone who ER'd before being FI:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/what-is-your-primary-goal-fi-or-er/msg1605085/#msg1605085

Yes, I was well short of 25X when I escaped the corporate grind.

Wow.. You are a braver man than I.. But then I am a total wimp when it comes to taking financial risk..:)

Linda_Norway

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Re: Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?
« Reply #132 on: July 02, 2017, 12:29:43 AM »
To answer the original question, yes I feel a bit frustrated about being close to the goal. It makes me so aware of having made certain choices in life that cost quite some money, like selling our previous car too early. Like buying our current house for all our savings, instead of staying in a very cheap house. There is nothing to do about it right now.

What I try to do in return is focus on the small day to day savings, like hanging laundry outside, shopping groceries in the right shop with cashback cards, maintaining the house well so it gets a good selling value when that time comes. And I like to improve my Excel sheet with FIRE calculations.

I like the fact that my DH sometimes starts thinking about various scenarios in his new job. For example is he working at a company that wants to buy up one the big competitors. My husband is a low level manager for a certain subject matter group of consultants. After a fusion, there will be two people in this position. He was imagining himself accepting a year salary to be the one to leave voluntarily. He was also thinking about stepping back to becoming a senior consultant, learning up young people and then start working parttime when the FI goal is reached.