Author Topic: Close to FIRE: losing motivation  (Read 13589 times)

mcampbell

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Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« on: December 17, 2015, 09:08:13 AM »
I'm close to FIRE but I've lost a lot of motivation in general. I used to have a lot of side hustles and stuff. Now I've calmed down most things and my free time is mostly watching dvds and playing video games. Kinda worried I thought retirement was going to still be doing difficult things, learning languages, going to gym etc. Anyone else start to slip down the 'easy' path?

matchewed

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2015, 09:16:47 AM »
What were your reasons for FIRE to begin with. I don't mean some nebulous FREEEEEEDOM! sort of answer. But what sort of life did you want when you started pursuing FIRE? Do you still want that life? If not then what life do you want? And finally what are you going to do today to make that life your actual future?

RootofGood

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2015, 09:20:39 AM »
I find motivation in FIRE to come from things that I need to do.  Traveling to a foreign country means I'm much more motivated to learn that foreign language.  Needing to get photos formatted for my blog = spent a couple days learning GIMP (aka free photoshop).  Wanting to do something on the back end or front end of my blog = researching and learning the code/technique to get the tweak implemented.  Encountering a novel issue or concept that could increase my personal optimization = research then possibly writing about it for others to learn too. 

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2015, 09:36:28 AM »
Losing motivation close to the goal is, I think, normal.  Back when you were just getting started, making an extra 5-10k was enough to double your stash.  Now, 20k hardly moves the needle.  You are getting very little bang for your effort (and thus less of a jolt of dopamine and seratonin to the brain).  You literally get less pleasure from your FIRE prep activities.  It is more of a waiting game now.

I found I also lost motivation at work.  When you can already go 15 years without a paycheck, you don't feel any pressure to be a performer.  Your give-a-shit-o-meter starts getting dangerously close to the big red "E".  I got a little mouthy because I didn't fear the consequences of speaking my mind which moved me from management track back to cubicle track but I regret nothing.  It just feels good to call people on their bullshit.

jim555

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2015, 09:54:50 AM »
As I got close to leaving my job my motivation went to zero, then negative.  When you know you can leave it becomes VERY hard to put up with work.

soccerluvof4

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2015, 11:17:52 AM »
Not sure why being close to Fire would keep you from going to the gym or learning a language. I agree with the others that you for sure go through a mental challenge per sae as you get close that its hard to be motivated till you do fire BUT that doesn't mean you should give up all your side hustles if you enjoy them or going to the gym to be healthy and learn a new language. Give yourself a small little push and slowly ramp it up but allow yourself as well to feel what your feeling without guilt.

Rollin

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2015, 02:45:35 PM »
It could be just another sign that you need to get out and FIRE.

albireo13

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2015, 03:27:39 PM »
I am not too close yet ... 2 years I estimate but, my GAS (give-a-shit) meter is very low.   I find I can't drive myself to work late or try to get in early to get more done.  I also have been more outspoken and critical at work.   
Hey, worst case I get on the layoff list and get a package !!!  : )

Venturing

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2015, 05:09:49 PM »
I found that while I was working it was hard to find the energy and enthusiasm for other activities. Once I stopped working it was like there was suddenly a whole lot more space in my brain. I spent about six months just mucking around enjoying myself and after that found that I actually wanted to be doing 'productive' things again.

In the home education world that talk about taking time to 'de school', ie once you finish at school you need to take six months or so to get school out of your system before really starting to home educate. I think the same applies to fire

save_save_save

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2015, 01:27:47 PM »
After feeling the same lack of motivation a couple months ago, it helped to take a step back and realize how far we've come.  And I also put a few more fun things on the calendar to keep the carrot dangling towards the future.  That way I have more near term targets (ski trip in a month, trip to visit family in 2 months, bike adventure to start training for, etc.).

Gone Fishing

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #10 on: December 18, 2015, 02:08:03 PM »
How close to FIRE are you?

The other day, my wife said I might have a touch of Senioritus.   

I've noticed two things as my FIRE date approaches:

I am not a bad procrastinator but at this point, whatever it is that I want or needs doing will be easier/better once I FIRE, so why not wait until then to tackle whatever it is.  Although, this thought process probably didn't really start until I was in the last 5-6 months leading up to FIRE so I don't have a huge backlog of deferred activities. Cold, dark evenings do not help either.

I am not generally an anxious person, but coming down to the wire on FIRE has certainly upped my stress level despite it being a goal for nearly two decades.  Earlier this year, when I postponed my FIRE date due to a few reasons I described in my journal, I felt an immediate sense of relief.  When I felt the relief, I knew instantly that my pending FIRE was indeed causing additional stress.  This time around, I can clearly recognize the source and deal with it better, but one of my main symptoms is lack of energy. Partially due to poor sleep when I am excited or stressed but I also think I am using quite a bit keeping my mouth shut at the office!

I have no worries about finding my enthusiasm for life after FIRE.  Even a two week vacation from work is enough to get me excited about all the things I would like to do, until I return to the office.  Only this time, I won't return!

I have to admit that I am always a tad jealous of the people that "discover" that they are FI and can just pull the trigger at will.  Sure does seem easier when it is a surprise vs. clicking off the days!



   

Bateaux

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2015, 11:36:13 AM »
A few months ago my job sucked and my desire to FIRE was a driving force.  I've sense started a much less stressful position and often forget about FIRE all together.  I think the stock market being flat for the year is a big reason as well.  If this were a 10% gain year for my portfolio I'd be more excited.  It's my first time seeing big drops in my net worth since the recession when FIRE wasn't even considered.  I'm thinking OMY for several more years now.   2020 was my original goal year set back in the 90s.  I moved the target date to 2018 due to frustration at work.  I also enjoy watching my money grow.  I still haven't figured out yet if I can mentally handle watching it draw down.  So to counter that phobia I'm lowering the withdrawal rate and increasing the accumulation time for now.  I want to have my cake and eat some as well.  Watching the cake disappear overtime is scary to me. 

mcampbell

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #12 on: December 20, 2015, 08:56:39 AM »
I'm probably 6-12 months out from a FIRE, unless the market continues to drop like last few months. I have gotten a lot of lazy habits, I'm hoping that FIRE will give me more energy to eat better and practice speaking Thai. I'm just worried i might become a couch potato. Has anyone FIRE'd and didn't do anything for a long period of time and needed to go back?

matchewed

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #13 on: December 20, 2015, 09:20:46 AM »
I'm probably 6-12 months out from a FIRE, unless the market continues to drop like last few months. I have gotten a lot of lazy habits, I'm hoping that FIRE will give me more energy to eat better and practice speaking Thai. I'm just worried i might become a couch potato. Has anyone FIRE'd and didn't do anything for a long period of time and needed to go back?

Glance around the boards a bit. Decompression is a normal response to actually FIREing. Taking some time off and relaxing. That doesn't sound like what you are doing.

It is also wrong to put out in the future the hope that you will magically gain more energy. There is no guarantee the future you will have more energy. What are you doing now to up your energy and not be a couch potato? That is the important question.

matchewed

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #14 on: December 20, 2015, 12:18:00 PM »
Also note that you've basically just posted the same thing as your first post without answering a single thing or interacting with what people have posted. Are you just looking to find out if it's normal? Or are you actually interested in not being in a funk right before FIRE?

flyingaway

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #15 on: December 20, 2015, 02:46:30 PM »
I lose a lot of motivations by just hanging on here.

StockBeard

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #16 on: December 21, 2015, 02:34:58 PM »
I have to admit that I am always a tad jealous of the people that "discover" that they are FI and can just pull the trigger at will.  Sure does seem easier when it is a surprise vs. clicking off the days!

This, 100 times this!

I'm glad some people feel this way too. I posted about this issue on my end a few months ago (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/did-you-ever-feel-the-frustration-of-being-%27close-to-the-goal%27/ ), and I still feel like it. I'm in "maximum procrastination" mode at work, and this is going to backfire at me at some point.

Interestingly though, OP seems to be talking about procrastination in stuff he thought he would enjoy doing in FIRE maybe?
OP, I wouldn't be worried for now, especially if you're not FIREd yet. I think you're like some of us, experiencing some burnout. Once you reach FIRE, you'll need to sit back, relax, and do nothing for a while. If you're anything like me, you'll do that for a few months, then boredom will catch up and you'll start working on personal projects and constructive stuff again.
My plan once I FIRE it to play video games and watch movies for as long as I enjoy it. My expectation is that this will get boring after 6 months, worst case scenario. If after 6 months I'm still doing it, I'll seriously reconsider my reasons for FIRE

rs02011988

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #17 on: December 22, 2015, 01:56:37 PM »
You may possibly be a little depressed-- Even "good" things can make people depressed. For example, getting married, getting a new job, having a baby-- all of those things can cause depression. Maybe since you are getting closer to FIRE, you may just be feeling a little down. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Life is about ebbs and flows. Live in this ebb, and eventually you will start to feel a little better. Maybe go talk to someone if you need to.

It's also the holidays..a lot of people get depressed during this time, sometimes for no reason. It's good that you have a pulse on what you are feeling. I would wait it out and see if it passes.


The_Dude

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #18 on: December 22, 2015, 07:58:34 PM »
If you don't mind I will break down your "general loss of motivation" into two areas; 1) motivation in life and 2) motivation at work.

In regards to area 1) I've mentioned it before on here but for me personally, working 5 days a week year in and year out stifles my general motivation in life BY A SIGNIFICANT amount!  At the 10 year mark in my career I basically spent an unhealthy amount of my free time doing "easy" activities (reading, watching tv, vegging out).  Even my more fun hobbies that take more upfront work such as planning, research, or even toy maintenance I sometimes struggled to find motivation for it.  I took 6 months off work and the most profound part of the experience for me was how dramatically my motivation for life changed and it happened within days of quitting work.  When I wasn't forced to be attentive and focused on "work" for 45-55 hours a week I no longer felt a *need* to relax and veg out.  It was ironic but because my free time felt so constrained when working I often procrastinated and relaxed and vegged out whenever possible and really didn't take advantage of the limited free time I had, but once I wasn't working anymore and had all the time in the world to relax or procrastinate I no longer wanted to or felt like I needed to. 

In my 6 months of not working I watched probably less than 10 hours of TV and played less than 10 hours of video games.  Instead I played some of my favorite sports daily, did a ton of classic car restoration work, exercised regularly (mostly outdoors) visited lots of family that aren't local to me, got totally current on the list of chores I could never previously keep up on etc.  Honestly, it was these 6 months that lit my desire for FIRE.  I returned to work and have been working for 5 years and saving quite a bit.  These were the greatest 6 months of my life and were possible because I was a decent saver before hand and had plenty of FU money (though I didn't really leave a FU situation).  Oh, to offer a little counterbalance I will admit that I didn't learn to play the guitar which is one of the things I always wanted to do.  Turns out that while I had motivation to do a whole lot more of the hobbies and things in life I already enjoyed I didn't suddenly find the motivation to learn a new skill that I could of arguable found time for before hand like playing the guitar.

Sadly, despite the recharging I achieved with 6 months off and the newness of my next job I was only saved from the low life motivation for a year or two but the last three years I find myself procrastinating on weekends again and watching a lot more TV (almost daily). 

I don't spend much time worrying about area 2) in terms of motivation at work.  I work in a well paying field but if they didn't pay me I wouldn't spend a single second doing it so of course I'm not super motivated but I still managed to do a good job and keep good performance reviews rolling in.
« Last Edit: December 22, 2015, 08:02:27 PM by The_Dude »

MrGreen

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #19 on: December 23, 2015, 06:40:33 AM »
In regards to area 1) I've mentioned it before on here but for me personally, working 5 days a week year in and year out stifles my general motivation in life BY A SIGNIFICANT amount!  At the 10 year mark in my career I basically spent an unhealthy amount of my free time doing "easy" activities (reading, watching tv, vegging out).  Even my more fun hobbies that take more upfront work such as planning, research, or even toy maintenance I sometimes struggled to find motivation for it.
I can totally relate to that. My wife and I are still DINKs so we sometimes work long hours. With 45-60 minute commutes each way we frequently get home with only two or three hours before it's time to go to sleep. I find it very difficult to be motivated to get into anything, knowing I don't have much time. I'm trying to start a blog for fun and the night when I work on it I find it blows the whole night and generally a post still isn't ready to be published quite yet. Weekends end up feeling like "recovery" from the week but I find I can't take two days in a row of just hanging in the house. By Sunday afternoon I'm going stir crazy so I try to make a point of getting out during the weekend to take the edge off.

GoldenNeko

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #20 on: December 23, 2015, 07:25:59 AM »
Livingafi has made a great blog post about the firing process and how it created a sort of crisis and anxiety state for him. Here: http://livingafi.com/2015/01/20/midlife-fi-sis/
You definitely are not alone OP.

spokey doke

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #21 on: December 24, 2015, 09:50:21 AM »

In regards to area 1) I've mentioned it before on here but for me personally, working 5 days a week year in and year out stifles my general motivation in life BY A SIGNIFICANT amount!  At the 10 year mark in my career I basically spent an unhealthy amount of my free time doing "easy" activities (reading, watching tv, vegging out).  Even my more fun hobbies that take more upfront work such as planning, research, or even toy maintenance I sometimes struggled to find motivation for it.  I took 6 months off work and the most profound part of the experience for me was how dramatically my motivation for life changed and it happened within days of quitting work.  When I wasn't forced to be attentive and focused on "work" for 45-55 hours a week I no longer felt a *need* to relax and veg out.  It was ironic but because my free time felt so constrained when working I often procrastinated and relaxed and vegged out whenever possible and really didn't take advantage of the limited free time I had, but once I wasn't working anymore and had all the time in the world to relax or procrastinate I no longer wanted to or felt like I needed to. 


This is me...I am very guarded with my time, always looking for ways to free it up so I can relax, while also not actually making much of that time in productive ways (often feeling that I SHOULD be accomplishing something, but actually avoiding it).  That all speaks to the fact that I no longer have any drive related to my work, which I used to pour myself into, but as long as work is there, it seems to be a hindrance in substantively taking on other projects.

That is why I'm planning to pull the plug and go after a passion in the next 6 months

SunnyMoney

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #22 on: December 29, 2015, 09:14:36 PM »
When I wasn't forced to be attentive and focused on "work" for 45-55 hours a week I no longer felt a *need* to relax and veg out.  It was ironic but because my free time felt so constrained when working I often procrastinated and relaxed and vegged out whenever possible and really didn't take advantage of the limited free time I had, but once I wasn't working anymore and had all the time in the world to relax or procrastinate I no longer wanted to or felt like I needed to. 


+1

I experienced the same thing when I FIREd.  Once all my time was mine to allocate as I wished I didn't feel I *needed* to allocate any to relaxing/vegging out.  When I was working I felt this weird pressure to make sure I allocated some time in the evenings and weekends to relaxing or else I thought I would increase my risk of burning out.  Also some of the things I used to do to veg out now feel almost too mindless.  Don't get me wrong, I still spend some of my time relaxing/vegging out but I do it because it is enjoyable, not because I feel I *need* to.   



Zx

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #23 on: January 07, 2016, 12:28:36 PM »
How close to FIRE are you?

The other day, my wife said I might have a touch of Senioritus.   

I've noticed two things as my FIRE date approaches:

I am not a bad procrastinator but at this point, whatever it is that I want or needs doing will be easier/better once I FIRE, so why not wait until then to tackle whatever it is.  Although, this thought process probably didn't really start until I was in the last 5-6 months leading up to FIRE so I don't have a huge backlog of deferred activities. Cold, dark evenings do not help either.

I am not generally an anxious person, but coming down to the wire on FIRE has certainly upped my stress level despite it being a goal for nearly two decades.  Earlier this year, when I postponed my FIRE date due to a few reasons I described in my journal, I felt an immediate sense of relief.  When I felt the relief, I knew instantly that my pending FIRE was indeed causing additional stress.  This time around, I can clearly recognize the source and deal with it better, but one of my main symptoms is lack of energy. Partially due to poor sleep when I am excited or stressed but I also think I am using quite a bit keeping my mouth shut at the office!

I have no worries about finding my enthusiasm for life after FIRE.  Even a two week vacation from work is enough to get me excited about all the things I would like to do, until I return to the office.  Only this time, I won't return!


I have to admit that I am always a tad jealous of the people that "discover" that they are FI and can just pull the trigger at will.  Sure does seem easier when it is a surprise vs. clicking off the days!



 

I just did a two week vacation and I'm so pathetic that I dreaded returning to work on the day I flew out of town! It never, ever leaves me that I have to go back to work.

I guess it's like when Larry David won an award for Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm, I forget which, but upon accepting his trophy he went to mike and stood there a moment, then said, "I'm still bald."

That's me on vacation, sadly!

I also have a friend who got together with a financial adviser only to discover he could retire and live well. So he retired immediately. He says that he was just going along, going to work and hating it, and suddenly he could retire! Oh brother. Good for him, I guess.

I will be counting the days until that day arrives, and I will have a full head of hair and a party that evening.

MrGreen

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #24 on: January 07, 2016, 01:39:20 PM »
This lady hit the nail on the head for me. It's more my level of caring is decreasing, rather than my motivation decreasing. And by level of caring, I really mean my tolerance of all the BS associated with my job. It seems the closer I get to my goal stash amount, the more accepting I am of the fact that I've likely over-planned and willing to quit before I hit my goal.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jan/01/drowning-commitments-stop-giving-a-damn-sarah-knight?CMP=fb_gu

Zx

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #25 on: January 07, 2016, 02:25:40 PM »
I wonder if that line from a Billy Joel song has any merit here: "don't forget your second wind!"

Alaskan Stache

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #26 on: January 08, 2016, 10:40:12 AM »
Quote
I'm close to FIRE but I've lost a lot of motivation in general. I used to have a lot of side hustles and stuff. Now I've calmed down most things and my free time is mostly watching dvds and playing video games. Kinda worried I thought retirement was going to still be doing difficult things, learning languages, going to gym etc. Anyone else start to slip down the 'easy' path?

Am I the only one who thinks that some face punching is in order here??

1. Sell video game system on Craigslist, invest the proceeds
2. Sell TV on Craigslist, invest the proceeds
3. Go out into the world and explore, live, talk to other people, volunteer, plant a garden, exercise, spend time cooking great food.......

BTDretire

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #27 on: January 18, 2016, 09:44:13 AM »
I arrived a bit late to open my shop this morning, a regular customer was waiting.
He said, "I never thought I'd get here before you".
 I responded, "Ya, you just don't have as much motivation for the second million as you did the first!" The customer then said, "and you said that with a straight face."
We both laughed,---for different reasons :-)

mcampbell

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #28 on: January 20, 2016, 10:27:50 AM »
I arrived a bit late to open my shop this morning, a regular customer was waiting.
He said, "I never thought I'd get here before you".
 I responded, "Ya, you just don't have as much motivation for the second million as you did the first!" The customer then said, "and you said that with a straight face."
We both laughed,---for different reasons :-)


Man if that feels like how I am now, I grew up of modest means. Getting to the first million was hell but it was invigorating. Now I feel very unmotivated for the next one. New year has gotten me good again. I changed my work schedule so I can take a few hours of Thai classes a day, also ramping up my hobbies and going to take more vacations this year. Slowly slide into FIRE but have a good schedule setup first.9

thriftyc

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #29 on: January 20, 2016, 08:55:49 PM »
Losing motivation close to the goal is, I think, normal.  Back when you were just getting started, making an extra 5-10k was enough to double your stash.  Now, 20k hardly moves the needle.  You are getting very little bang for your effort (and thus less of a jolt of dopamine and seratonin to the brain).  You literally get less pleasure from your FIRE prep activities.  It is more of a waiting game now.

I found I also lost motivation at work.  When you can already go 15 years without a paycheck, you don't feel any pressure to be a performer.  Your give-a-shit-o-meter starts getting dangerously close to the big red "E".  I got a little mouthy because I didn't fear the consequences of speaking my mind which moved me from management track back to cubicle track but I regret nothing.  It just feels good to call people on their bullshit.

I can relate to this. I have considered actually looking for another FT job after quitting my last short term nightmare - but am finding it difficult now that I am basically par with being FI.  I will have to dig deep to work my planned fun PT role. 

PhysicianOnFIRE

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #30 on: January 20, 2016, 09:05:34 PM »
I have to admit that I am always a tad jealous of the people that "discover" that they are FI and can just pull the trigger at will.  Sure does seem easier when it is a surprise vs. clicking off the days!

True story.  If I had any clue about FIRE 10 years ago, the goal might have been all-consuming.  I got lucky.  Started learning about it 1 year ago, sold a house we used to live in, ran the numbers, and... dang!!! We're FI.  Now working on double FI.  RE can wait.

arebelspy

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Re: Close to FIRE: losing motivation
« Reply #31 on: January 21, 2016, 07:02:52 AM »
I arrived a bit late to open my shop this morning, a regular customer was waiting.
He said, "I never thought I'd get here before you".
 I responded, "Ya, you just don't have as much motivation for the second million as you did the first!" The customer then said, "and you said that with a straight face."
We both laughed,---for different reasons :-)

Hah!  Loved this story.
I am a former teacher who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and am now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about me, this Business Insider profile tells the story pretty well.
I (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out the Now page to see what I'm up to currently.