Author Topic: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE  (Read 39178 times)

BTDretire

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #50 on: January 01, 2020, 04:44:14 PM »
My biggest surprise was my own lack of regret or even interest at the end of my career. I thought my identity was quite attached to my profession, but actually it wasnt/isnt. Its over, a new life has begun, and I am very happy.

 +1 t the above, I didn't think I would have any problem, but my wife was our business and most of her mental energy was spent thinking about the business. We were pretty much forced to retire by hurricane Michael. But once she retired she has way to much to do and can't figure out how she did it while working.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #51 on: January 04, 2020, 01:54:39 AM »
- Life is considerably more difficult. Going to a job every day is easy, in retrospect.

@arebelspy Why is life more difficult?

In comparison to working.

When working, five days a week is pretty easy. You wake up, go do your job, go home. Repeat.

That structure doesn't exist after.

Yes, having kids does make life a lot more difficult as well. :)
Yeah the going to the job thing is easy but its the trying to squeeze everything else in on your limited free time that's hard. As you know I came to be FIRE because I was seeking a simpler more minimalist life and so retirement for me is about having less complications in my life. I've been pretty successful at it but yeah, I can see how working could make life less complicated - especially when dealing with and care for other people no matter adorable they are ;-).

Yes, that is my goal for FIRE, having a less complicated life. Having more time available for the things I like to do and the few things that I must do. So far, so good.

seattleite

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #52 on: January 04, 2020, 01:18:30 PM »
Two and a half years in and my biggest surprise is how much of the day is full of stupid time-sucking tasks that are part of a modern American's day. For example, I spent at least a couple hours to get the reimbursement form correct for two flu shots. In the past I would have done this at work and the time would have felt like it was just part of my work day. Now it feels like the insurance company is stealing this time from me. I also work a lot less on my financial spreadsheet, again because I'm not wasting time at work and this comes directly out of time reading or playing with my kids.

I'm really just blown away by how much time little stupid tasks take. I'm now trying to optimize them away. For example, I'm considering a health care co-op-like system where you pay a monthly fee and everything normal is just included. No more stupid insurance forms.

GreenSheep

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #53 on: January 04, 2020, 03:54:29 PM »
I've been surprised by how often people (at least half of whom are retired themselves!) ask me what I'm doing with all of my new-found free time. I've given all sorts of answers ranging from "whatever I want" to "I think I'll take up knitting, buy a rocking chair, adopt 6 cats, and start yelling at kids to get off my lawn," but I really should asking them the following:

How would your life look if you...?
1. Never rush anything
2. Take the time to do things right, or at least up to your own standards, rather than having to choose some things to half-ass due to lack of time
3. Spend as much time as you want (within your budget) on activities you enjoy

I think most people would see how this massive amount of extra time they think I have just evaporates. I don't know why people seem to expect me to have embarked on some huge, grand lifelong project. That's great for those who have a passion for something like that, but I'm just enjoying life's little details.

ysette9

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #54 on: January 05, 2020, 04:59:02 AM »
Two and a half years in and my biggest surprise is how much of the day is full of stupid time-sucking tasks that are part of a modern American's day. For example, I spent at least a couple hours to get the reimbursement form correct for two flu shots. In the past I would have done this at work and the time would have felt like it was just part of my work day. Now it feels like the insurance company is stealing this time from me. I also work a lot less on my financial spreadsheet, again because I'm not wasting time at work and this comes directly out of time reading or playing with my kids.

I'm really just blown away by how much time little stupid tasks take. I'm now trying to optimize them away. For example, I'm considering a health care co-op-like system where you pay a monthly fee and everything normal is just included. No more stupid insurance forms.
Can you get kaiser? Everything is included there and it is real health insurance, not the possibly-dubious co-op deal.

Omy

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #55 on: January 05, 2020, 05:35:13 AM »
I thought I was going to miss work and have a big void in my life...not at all!

markbike528CBX

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #56 on: January 05, 2020, 01:37:15 PM »
I thought I was going to miss work and have a big void in my life...not at all!
We told you so :-)

Omy

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #57 on: January 05, 2020, 02:51:37 PM »
Ha...yes you did!

Lucky13

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #58 on: January 05, 2020, 07:04:17 PM »
In the past I would have done this at work and the time would have felt like it was just part of my work day. Now it feels like the insurance company is stealing this time from me.
I hadn't thought of this, the boring personal calls I (occasionally) make during business hours will seem like a waste of *my* time. haha this is great TY.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2020, 07:06:08 PM by Lucky13 »

MissNancyPryor

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #59 on: January 05, 2020, 07:31:25 PM »
It is not that long in FIRE for me but I thought I would be more afraid.  Afraid of the market going down, afraid I would regret not hanging on OMY, afraid that I wasted my expensive education by not going at it longer.  Afraid of boredom. 

Not one of those things has happened. 

I am probably blinded by the fact the market went up a whole bunch since the first of September but I have asked myself if the market suddenly went down 40% would I be brushing up my resume?  Hell no.  My expenses are so minimal that I could hunker right down and spend so very little that it would make no sense to get myself wound up to climb back on the hamster wheel again.  I can't imagine going back.

I am going to monitor this feeling and see if it changes but I think it will only get stronger.         

Dicey

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #60 on: January 05, 2020, 10:35:43 PM »
It is not that long in FIRE for me but I thought I would be more afraid.  Afraid of the market going down, afraid I would regret not hanging on OMY, afraid that I wasted my expensive education by not going at it longer.  Afraid of boredom. 

Not one of those things has happened. 

I am probably blinded by the fact the market went up a whole bunch since the first of September but I have asked myself if the market suddenly went down 40% would I be brushing up my resume?  Hell no.  My expenses are so minimal that I could hunker right down and spend so very little that it would make no sense to get myself wound up to climb back on the hamster wheel again.  I can't imagine going back.

I am going to monitor this feeling and see if it changes but I think it will only get stronger.       
Seven years in; I'm pretty sure you're right ;-)

chasesfish

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #61 on: January 06, 2020, 05:31:22 AM »
I really enjoyed looking at this thread.

April 2019 here...

- The first six months were harder than I thought.

- Geographic arbitrage was hard - I really wish I would have transferred to my desired place in the last couple years of working, but my income level relative to the amount of work was too high to pull this off.  Transferring would have meant more work for less income...been there and done that.

- After the first six months...this is beyond awesome.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.   The biggest realization is I was good at my job, I liked my job, and at times I was passionate about my job and enjoyed the journey at times.   However, my job was not my life and it provided a means to an end.  The further away I get from it the more I realized that the time I spent at work came at the expense of everything else.  Friends, family, hobbies, travelling.   The ability to *rarely* feel rushed at anything is incredible.   I was rushed every day with work deadlines and a long list of "to-dos" at home and I'd be constantly doing triage to figure out what was most important. 

- Renting first in a new location has been amazing.  Taking a break from the constant to-do list of home ownership has been refreshing.  Unbelievably refreshing.   Now I'm a home shopper based on economics only.  What return does this provide relative to rent and what return would it provide if I moved and kept it as a rental.  Its irritated a few realtors when we wander into an open house and they push on the "what do you think?" and my response is "I'd pay about X" and that's 20-30% below listing.



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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #62 on: January 06, 2020, 01:37:11 PM »
Two and a half years in and my biggest surprise is how much of the day is full of stupid time-sucking tasks that are part of a modern American's day. For example, I spent at least a couple hours to get the reimbursement form correct for two flu shots. In the past I would have done this at work and the time would have felt like it was just part of my work day. Now it feels like the insurance company is stealing this time from me. I also work a lot less on my financial spreadsheet, again because I'm not wasting time at work and this comes directly out of time reading or playing with my kids.

I'm really just blown away by how much time little stupid tasks take. I'm now trying to optimize them away. For example, I'm considering a health care co-op-like system where you pay a monthly fee and everything normal is just included. No more stupid insurance forms.
Can you get kaiser? Everything is included there and it is real health insurance, not the possibly-dubious co-op deal.

Having had Aetna PPO plans, Aetna HMO plans and Kaiser, I agree with Ysette9.  Aetna was fine, but involved way more paperwork and other "stupid time sucking tasks" than Kaiser does. 

stoaX

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #63 on: January 06, 2020, 01:49:39 PM »
I'm a little over 6 months into early retirement.  One surprise so far has been that my dreams of every day being composed of running on the beach, playing hockey, cooking fantastic meals and reading great works of learning and literature were over-optimistic.  Yes, some days are really good, but there are quite a number of ordinary days doing chores and unexciting activities of daily living.   

ysette9

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #64 on: January 06, 2020, 03:09:54 PM »
Two and a half years in and my biggest surprise is how much of the day is full of stupid time-sucking tasks that are part of a modern American's day. For example, I spent at least a couple hours to get the reimbursement form correct for two flu shots. In the past I would have done this at work and the time would have felt like it was just part of my work day. Now it feels like the insurance company is stealing this time from me. I also work a lot less on my financial spreadsheet, again because I'm not wasting time at work and this comes directly out of time reading or playing with my kids.

I'm really just blown away by how much time little stupid tasks take. I'm now trying to optimize them away. For example, I'm considering a health care co-op-like system where you pay a monthly fee and everything normal is just included. No more stupid insurance forms.
Can you get kaiser? Everything is included there and it is real health insurance, not the possibly-dubious co-op deal.

Having had Aetna PPO plans, Aetna HMO plans and Kaiser, I agree with Ysette9.  Aetna was fine, but involved way more paperwork and other "stupid time sucking tasks" than Kaiser does.
When you’re dealing with getting the flu shot or allergy testing it is annoying to deal with paperwork, but just that. When I was hospitalized for a high risk pregnancy and my babies spent weeks in the NICU while I recovered from c-sections..... that seemless, coordinated care without paperwork or referrals or worrying who is in network is priceless

Cassie

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #65 on: January 06, 2020, 03:47:46 PM »
With 3 kids your life should be much easier and less stressful since you don’t have to work. Kids keep you busy.

Dicey

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #66 on: January 07, 2020, 05:45:36 AM »
Two and a half years in and my biggest surprise is how much of the day is full of stupid time-sucking tasks that are part of a modern American's day. For example, I spent at least a couple hours to get the reimbursement form correct for two flu shots. In the past I would have done this at work and the time would have felt like it was just part of my work day. Now it feels like the insurance company is stealing this time from me. I also work a lot less on my financial spreadsheet, again because I'm not wasting time at work and this comes directly out of time reading or playing with my kids.

I'm really just blown away by how much time little stupid tasks take. I'm now trying to optimize them away. For example, I'm considering a health care co-op-like system where you pay a monthly fee and everything normal is just included. No more stupid insurance forms.
Can you get kaiser? Everything is included there and it is real health insurance, not the possibly-dubious co-op deal.

Having had Aetna PPO plans, Aetna HMO plans and Kaiser, I agree with Ysette9.  Aetna was fine, but involved way more paperwork and other "stupid time sucking tasks" than Kaiser does.
When you’re dealing with getting the flu shot or allergy testing it is annoying to deal with paperwork, but just that. When I was hospitalized for a high risk pregnancy and my babies spent weeks in the NICU while I recovered from c-sections..... that seemless, coordinated care without paperwork or referrals or worrying who is in network is priceless
I third the Kaiser option. The petty annoyances of their system disappear when compared to any other insurance I've ever had.

Omy

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #67 on: January 07, 2020, 06:53:37 AM »
How does it work if you need medical assistance and you happen to be traveling in an area with no Kaiser facility?

Dicey

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #68 on: January 07, 2020, 07:18:37 AM »
How does it work if you need medical assistance and you happen to be traveling in an area with no Kaiser facility?
Knock wood, because luckily I've never had the experience, but in a true emergency, you get the help you need first, then call them. They take over and manage your care until you can return to their network.

It's also not unheard of for Kaiser to pay for out of network care. My sister and BIL's kidney transplant was done at UC Davis. When he as experiencing some weird numbers a few years post-transplant, Kaiser sent him back to Davis, then to UCSF to make sure he wasn't rejecting the kidney. (He's fine.) DH's boss is having some unusual hereditary eye problems and Kaiser sent him to Stanford, but only after he insisted on an outside opinion.

I should probably mention that you must live within their service areas obtain Kaiser coverage. When DH's parents retired, they bought a second home in Auburn, CA, because that was as far as their Kaiser coverage extended. My sister lives in the same general area. When they were house-with-property hunting, every time they identified something  of interest, first thing they did was to make sure it was within Kaiser's range. No Kaiser, no deal.

ysette9

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #69 on: January 07, 2020, 10:18:40 AM »
Their website says something to the effect of get urgent care wherever is closest and then contact them once you are stabilized so they can figure out the rest.

Our cousin broke his leg while overseas and kaiser covered all of his care

Omy

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #70 on: January 07, 2020, 02:08:21 PM »
Thanks for the info! I was concerned about not being able to go out of network for emergencies or specialists so that's good to know.

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #71 on: January 09, 2020, 05:44:14 AM »
I'm one year into FIRE, and for the most part it has been fabulous.  I worry less about money and health insurance than I thought I would, and I can't imagine ever being bored.  I'm super happy.

The one thing that's been an unpleasant surprise is that for me time has not slowed down.  I thought it would, when I wasn't working.  But the past year has flown by at the same speed as prior years.  :( 

elaine amj

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #72 on: January 09, 2020, 06:46:55 AM »
- how much of our time is sucked up by endless errands. DH's spends most of his days on the phone with one provider or the other fixing problems or setting things up (the internet, cellphone, insurance, questions about shopping for stuff, pricematching, healthcare, kids, etc etc). We still don't know how we did this all when we were both working.

- travel cost more than I expected. I was initially excited about taking long trips. Until I saw the total costs. So now I only extend our trips by a few days or a week instead of a few weeks. It all adds up. And I don't have the same itch to stay on vacation for as long as humanly possible like I did when I was working. I now relish coming home and staying indoors doing nothing for a few days.

- FIRE doesn't fix emotional problems. Anything you deal with before FIRE is still there after FIRE. But I am thankful I didn't have to juggle a full day's work on top of my emotional recovery.

- how BUSY FIREd life can be. Granted I have two teens but there has been multiple times in the past year someone has asked me over for dinner and I'd have to give them a date a month away. On the flip side, I can often drop everything and run when I am needed somewhere.

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dougules

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #73 on: January 15, 2020, 10:35:14 AM »
- travel cost more than I expected. I was initially excited about taking long trips. Until I saw the total costs. So now I only extend our trips by a few days or a week instead of a few weeks. It all adds up. And I don't have the same itch to stay on vacation for as long as humanly possible like I did when I was working. I now relish coming home and staying indoors doing nothing for a few days.

I'm curious what kind of travel it was.  Did you stay in Canada and the US or did you go to countries where dollars go a long way?

ysette9

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #74 on: January 15, 2020, 10:47:03 AM »
I'm one year into FIRE, and for the most part it has been fabulous.  I worry less about money and health insurance than I thought I would, and I can't imagine ever being bored.  I'm super happy.

The one thing that's been an unpleasant surprise is that for me time has not slowed down.  I thought it would, when I wasn't working.  But the past year has flown by at the same speed as prior years.  :(
Oh no! I’ve been counting on FIRE to slow things down because I feel like my life is suddenly flying by. I don’t want to miss it

elaine amj

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #75 on: January 21, 2020, 10:14:48 PM »


- travel cost more than I expected. I was initially excited about taking long trips. Until I saw the total costs. So now I only extend our trips by a few days or a week instead of a few weeks. It all adds up. And I don't have the same itch to stay on vacation for as long as humanly possible like I did when I was working. I now relish coming home and staying indoors doing nothing for a few days.

I'm curious what kind of travel it was.  Did you stay in Canada and the US or did you go to countries where dollars go a long way?

Currently in North America.

Even if I only pay $40/night for a patch of dirt to pitch my tent, that's almost $300 more for an extra week. If I am paying $50-60/night for a hotel and have to add eating out to that, it just quickly multiplies.

Adding a few days is cheap. Adding a lot more days just adds up more than I would have liked.

We added a few extra days in Florida after our cruise last March and while I did it mostly with points, it was still a few hundred bucks more to our budget between car rental, additional fees, tolls, bike rentals for cheap fun, and some eating out.

Anyway, I was mostly surprised that I was happy to go home. And not itching to lengthen our trips. 1-2 weeks now sound great to me. I do want to do a 1-2 month Canadian road trip one day...but will wait a little bit longer.

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dougules

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #76 on: January 22, 2020, 07:33:55 AM »


- travel cost more than I expected. I was initially excited about taking long trips. Until I saw the total costs. So now I only extend our trips by a few days or a week instead of a few weeks. It all adds up. And I don't have the same itch to stay on vacation for as long as humanly possible like I did when I was working. I now relish coming home and staying indoors doing nothing for a few days.

I'm curious what kind of travel it was.  Did you stay in Canada and the US or did you go to countries where dollars go a long way?

Currently in North America.

Even if I only pay $40/night for a patch of dirt to pitch my tent, that's almost $300 more for an extra week. If I am paying $50-60/night for a hotel and have to add eating out to that, it just quickly multiplies.

Adding a few days is cheap. Adding a lot more days just adds up more than I would have liked.

We added a few extra days in Florida after our cruise last March and while I did it mostly with points, it was still a few hundred bucks more to our budget between car rental, additional fees, tolls, bike rentals for cheap fun, and some eating out.

Anyway, I was mostly surprised that I was happy to go home. And not itching to lengthen our trips. 1-2 weeks now sound great to me. I do want to do a 1-2 month Canadian road trip one day...but will wait a little bit longer.

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Yeah, the US and Canada don't have a lot of options for budget travelers.  (Can't say that about North America in general, though, given that Mexico is very easy on the budget.)

TeeNixx

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #77 on: January 28, 2020, 06:43:19 AM »
PTF

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #78 on: January 28, 2020, 08:11:38 AM »
+1 on really hating administrative time sucks, even though I have time, its not the way I want to spend my day.

The extended market rally has been a pleasant surprise.  Our net worth is up 50% since retirement.  It could just as easily been the other way.

I was pretty shocked that my wife wanted to go back to work full time.  I've ended up with more of the household duties than I expected.

A nagging health problem has been a big damper on my ability/desire to take on big projects. But, it has been so nice not worry about work.  Ironically, I've had much less cold/flu, probably in part due to less stress/exposure.

Will

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #79 on: January 28, 2020, 12:31:11 PM »
+1 on really hating administrative time sucks, even though I have time, its not the way I want to spend my day.

The extended market rally has been a pleasant surprise.  Our net worth is up 50% since retirement.  It could just as easily been the other way.

I was pretty shocked that my wife wanted to go back to work full time.  I've ended up with more of the household duties than I expected.

A nagging health problem has been a big damper on my ability/desire to take on big projects. But, it has been so nice not worry about work.  Ironically, I've had much less cold/flu, probably in part due to less stress/exposure.

Errands/chores take up SO much time!  Ugh!  How did I ever squeeze this crap in before I retired?

Yes, this rally is nice and a higher net worth while spending and not earning has been pleasant.  Seems a downturn is imminent though.  This coronavirus thing isn't helping.

I don't understand these people that feel a need to work.  I understand if people need money, but if you don't?  I am sure if I ever get "bored"  I'll find something better to do than go back to work.

I think the lack of stress does certainly help maintain better health.

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #80 on: January 29, 2020, 04:26:33 AM »
+1 on really hating administrative time sucks, even though I have time, its not the way I want to spend my day.

The extended market rally has been a pleasant surprise.  Our net worth is up 50% since retirement.  It could just as easily been the other way.

I was pretty shocked that my wife wanted to go back to work full time.  I've ended up with more of the household duties than I expected.

A nagging health problem has been a big damper on my ability/desire to take on big projects. But, it has been so nice not worry about work.  Ironically, I've had much less cold/flu, probably in part due to less stress/exposure.

Errands/chores take up SO much time!  Ugh!  How did I ever squeeze this crap in before I retired?

Yes, this rally is nice and a higher net worth while spending and not earning has been pleasant.  Seems a downturn is imminent though.  This coronavirus thing isn't helping.

I don't understand these people that feel a need to work.  I understand if people need money, but if you don't?  I am sure if I ever get "bored"  I'll find something better to do than go back to work.

I think the lack of stress does certainly help maintain better health.

A month into FIRE and I finally start feeling unstressed while at home. I still have a tendency to multitask a bit, but not as much as before. I am starting to be a little bit more inefficient, after many years with super efficiency.

Yes, we have some errands to do, but not many. Cleaning our house with two people at the same time takes very little time. DH cleaned both chimneys, after first having to install a ladder on the roof that I had to buy second hand in a snow storm. So small jobs are often bigger than you expect, but they do get done. Better now than when you work full time. Luckily we stopped doing the fulltime time work a year ago, which was already an improvement.

My husband still has plans to do some paid work after FIRE, but only at his own choice and schedule, maybe with a zero hour contract for his old company. That would be from next year and we'll see if he still wants to do that. We have also several times seen seasonal jobs popping up in interesting places. This year we were supposed to be hiking/travelling a lot and that doesn't go together with working a job. But from next year, we could take such assignments for a couple of months. These are jobs like running a B&B in a popular turist city in the north, or being a handy man in a beautiful location.

Trifle

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #81 on: January 29, 2020, 04:46:48 AM »
I'm one year into FIRE, and for the most part it has been fabulous.  I worry less about money and health insurance than I thought I would, and I can't imagine ever being bored.  I'm super happy.

The one thing that's been an unpleasant surprise is that for me time has not slowed down.  I thought it would, when I wasn't working.  But the past year has flown by at the same speed as prior years.  :(
Oh no! I’ve been counting on FIRE to slow things down because I feel like my life is suddenly flying by. I don’t want to miss it

I've been thinking about this a lot @ysette9, and realized that there are in fact times when time slows down a lot for me in FIRE.  When I'm away from home/traveling, it almost slows to a stop for some reason.  My tentative theory is that somehow being at home still feels "busy", like work did?  So the time seems to flow by at the same pace. 

But when you have no job, AND leave the daily routine/household chores, then it's like you are cut free from everything.  Time slows down to a crawl, like when I was a kid.  I'm traveling right now, and it's so odd . . . each day feels like it's three days long.  Wonderful!

Linea_Norway

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #82 on: January 29, 2020, 05:13:56 AM »
I'm one year into FIRE, and for the most part it has been fabulous.  I worry less about money and health insurance than I thought I would, and I can't imagine ever being bored.  I'm super happy.

The one thing that's been an unpleasant surprise is that for me time has not slowed down.  I thought it would, when I wasn't working.  But the past year has flown by at the same speed as prior years.  :(
Oh no! I’ve been counting on FIRE to slow things down because I feel like my life is suddenly flying by. I don’t want to miss it

I've been thinking about this a lot @ysette9, and realized that there are in fact times when time slows down a lot for me in FIRE.  When I'm away from home/traveling, it almost slows to a stop for some reason.  My tentative theory is that somehow being at home still feels "busy", like work did?  So the time seems to flow by at the same pace. 

But when you have no job, AND leave the daily routine/household chores, then it's like you are cut free from everything.  Time slows down to a crawl, like when I was a kid.  I'm traveling right now, and it's so odd . . . each day feels like it's three days long.  Wonderful!

I feel now that there are quite a lot of hours in a day. If I find out at 1 pm that I still want to take a walk outside, there are plenty of hours daylight left. Often I do a lot of things in the morning, even after sleeping to 8:30. But there is so much you can do in a day if you don't have to work. So far I'm loving it.

GreenSheep

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #83 on: January 29, 2020, 06:54:27 AM »
I've been thinking about this a lot @ysette9, and realized that there are in fact times when time slows down a lot for me in FIRE.  When I'm away from home/traveling, it almost slows to a stop for some reason.  My tentative theory is that somehow being at home still feels "busy", like work did?  So the time seems to flow by at the same pace. 

But when you have no job, AND leave the daily routine/household chores, then it's like you are cut free from everything.  Time slows down to a crawl, like when I was a kid.  I'm traveling right now, and it's so odd . . . each day feels like it's three days long.  Wonderful!

The same happens for me. I read somewhere that the reason for this is that you're doing new things, seeing new places, etc. while traveling. Same as when you were a kid... lots more things were new to you than as an adult.

ysette9

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #84 on: January 29, 2020, 12:27:22 PM »
That is encouraging to hear.

I do wonder how it will be for me when I pull the plug since with three little people underfoot at home, I don’t expect it to be the relaxing vacation that FIRE may start out as for other people. Time will tell!

ixtap

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #85 on: January 29, 2020, 12:58:56 PM »
That is encouraging to hear.

I do wonder how it will be for me when I pull the plug since with three little people underfoot at home, I don’t expect it to be the relaxing vacation that FIRE may start out as for other people. Time will tell!

I would expect a lot of "yvette9 can do it, she's not working," if your kids are in school or other groups where there are working parents.

It may be what you are hoping for. If not, practice saying no.

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #86 on: April 01, 2020, 08:15:32 PM »
I have really enjoyed catching up on this thread as it addressed many of the things I have worried about. I am still a while away from FIRE, but they're good to start considering.

I don't want to hijack the thread, but a big fear I have about FIRE is that I will lose any sense of purpose. Can anyone talk to this? Have you experienced that?

ysette9

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #87 on: April 01, 2020, 08:29:41 PM »
That has been a worry for me on occasion. So far I am only in my third week of FIRE and I am busy with the world being turned on its head. I hope one day things will go back to normal, my kids will go back to school/daycare, and I will have time alone and the luxury of getting bored.

Dicey

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #88 on: April 02, 2020, 12:27:16 AM »
I have really enjoyed catching up on this thread as it addressed many of the things I have worried about. I am still a while away from FIRE, but they're good to start considering.

I don't want to hijack the thread, but a big fear I have about FIRE is that I will lose any sense of purpose. Can anyone talk to this? Have you experienced that?
Seven years in and my answer is hell, no! Being FIRE has allowed me to pursue volunteer activities that I love, which has led to other activities I love and scores of new friendships. I wanted to make friends in my community and now I see people I know everywhere I go in my town. I started volunteering at the library before I retired, because I'm a lifelong book junkie, and it blossomed from there. Now I'm on three Boards, one Steering Committee, do two other fun volunteer gigs, and wonder how I ever found time to work, which was my goal all along, but now I call the shots, not some boss I may or may not like at some company I may or may not like. These days (pandemic excepted), I only do things I enjoy doing. It's awesome!

Trifle

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #89 on: April 02, 2020, 05:04:31 AM »
I have really enjoyed catching up on this thread as it addressed many of the things I have worried about. I am still a while away from FIRE, but they're good to start considering.

I don't want to hijack the thread, but a big fear I have about FIRE is that I will lose any sense of purpose. Can anyone talk to this? Have you experienced that?

No way!  I have a greater sense of purpose now because I have time to devote to things I really care about.  I'm more than a year into FIRE now, and it's just sublime. Like a whole new wonderful life starting.

I think the only people in danger of losing all sense of purpose are those who (pre-FIRE) don't have anything meaningful in their lives other than their job.  It's the old MMM saying that you shouldn't just retire FROM your job; you need something to FIRE TO.

FIRE 20/20

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #90 on: April 03, 2020, 01:44:56 PM »
I have really enjoyed catching up on this thread as it addressed many of the things I have worried about. I am still a while away from FIRE, but they're good to start considering.

I don't want to hijack the thread, but a big fear I have about FIRE is that I will lose any sense of purpose. Can anyone talk to this? Have you experienced that?

If you do something at work that provides a sense of purpose at your job *and* you can't do something equivalent or better after you FIRE, then you could have a problem.  Is that the case for you? 

For me, I only got a sense of purpose in my career from helping my employees develop, grow, and excel.  Everything else - budgets, schedules, contract negotiations, sprint planning, backlog maintenance, requirements development, testing, and all the other garbage I had to do to get paid did not give me a sense of purpose.  So I replaced the thing that did give me a sense of purpose and no longer have to do the things that didn't.  Until COVID-19 hit, I was a volunteer math tutor and I felt like I was really making a difference.  I was going to start tutoring for a local literacy group until they closed due to the virus.  I've been able to help my mom and my elderly neighbor both before the virus hit and during the stay at home phase. 

Because I don't have to choose what I do based on personal economic benefit I can now choose to do things based on their value to me and my family.  Far from losing my sense of purpose I am now able to live a life that is focused on the things that are truly valuable to me, and that has significantly increase my sense of purpose. 

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #91 on: April 04, 2020, 06:46:41 AM »
FIREd now for one year and like others have said, it's the best :).  I didn't FIRE with a specific goal, but have certainly not been board.  I do guard my time, and only do things I find valuable or worthwhile.  I am probably most surprised at home much I enjoy taking things slowly.  I have on days and off days.  And I really enjoy my days off :).

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #92 on: April 07, 2020, 10:48:03 PM »
I have really enjoyed catching up on this thread as it addressed many of the things I have worried about. I am still a while away from FIRE, but they're good to start considering.

I don't want to hijack the thread, but a big fear I have about FIRE is that I will lose any sense of purpose. Can anyone talk to this? Have you experienced that?

Why does life need a purpose?

ItsALongStory

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #93 on: April 07, 2020, 10:57:49 PM »
Purpose means different things to different people. Some folks might find purpose in driving a recycling truck (help saving the planet) while others can get burnt out on the standard positions that are purpose driven (health professionals or educators).

Not having anything you can truly be proud of is what worries me, be it showing people the world through your own travel pictures, volunteering at a homeless shelter or caring for your grandkids on occasion. These things that trigger purpose certainly change throughout life.

I am currently struggling to find sufficient purpose in my employment when for many (including me until relatively recently) it would have tons of purpose.

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #94 on: April 08, 2020, 09:09:41 AM »
What is your best advice for those of us who are within months of being post-FIRE?

Mr. Leg and I took a look at our stache before we FIREd and imagined it being half of its value. Why? Because we knew it could very well happen.

And guess what? It hasn't been down 50% yet, but it's taken some steep dives in 2020. And that's all right, because we were mentally prepared for it.

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #95 on: April 08, 2020, 05:33:08 PM »
I have really enjoyed catching up on this thread as it addressed many of the things I have worried about. I am still a while away from FIRE, but they're good to start considering.

I don't want to hijack the thread, but a big fear I have about FIRE is that I will lose any sense of purpose. Can anyone talk to this? Have you experienced that?

Why does life need a purpose?

I am kinda semi retired for a while...for a long time, i did ponder about this question...but recently i heard an interview from someone who lost his loved ones within 12 months ....and i kinda had this lightbulb moment...

My new resolve is just not to think too macro..to live everyday happily...to enjoy and treasure daily small moments and the people i meet daily....in other words..live for the moment and don't plan too Long and too Big...even if some days, it seems meandering
and "purposeless"...to others...but do i care? It's My life after all.. Shrug!


I volunteer once a week ..had done so for the last 10 years...sometimes twice a week ...now Covid has laid me off...

Will i continue after Covid? Shrug...if it happens ..it happens...Atm..i am living each day as it is...trying my best to be Grateful, Patient and Happy..

To do Otherwise, to ponder too much about the Universe and my Ultimate Purpose ...would be Real Taxing on this Minute Brain of mine:(

Alien

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #96 on: April 11, 2020, 11:08:00 AM »
Two and a half years in and my biggest surprise is how much of the day is full of stupid time-sucking tasks that are part of a modern American's day. For example, I spent at least a couple hours to get the reimbursement form correct for two flu shots. In the past I would have done this at work and the time would have felt like it was just part of my work day. Now it feels like the insurance company is stealing this time from me. I also work a lot less on my financial spreadsheet, again because I'm not wasting time at work and this comes directly out of time reading or playing with my kids.

I'm really just blown away by how much time little stupid tasks take. I'm now trying to optimize them away. For example, I'm considering a health care co-op-like system where you pay a monthly fee and everything normal is just included. No more stupid insurance forms.

The captcha on this forum is brutal!

Haha, yes. My mundane garbage task list always has some trifle on it. Reminds me of what this writer said (the full essay is great):

"However, I have not been trying to prove that primitive man was less fortunate in his working life than modern man is. In my opinion the contrary was true. Probably at least some nomadic hunter-gatherers had more leisure time than modern employed Americans do. It’s true that the roughly forty-hour work-week of Richard Lee’s Bushmen was about equal to the standard American work-week. But modern Americans are burdened with many demands on their time outside their hours of employment. I myself, when working at a forty-hour job, have generally felt busy: I’ve had to shop for groceries, go to the bank, do the laundry, fill out income-tax forms, take the car in for maintenance, get a haircut, go to the dentist ...there was always something that needed to be done. Many of the people I now correspond with likewise complain of being busy. In contrast, the male Bushman’s time was genuinely his own outside of his working hours; he could spend his non-working time as he pleased. Bushman women of reproductive age may have had much less leisure time because, like women of all societies, they were burdened with the care of small children."


Dicey

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #97 on: April 12, 2020, 07:56:33 AM »
"However, I have not been trying to prove that primitive man was less fortunate in his working life than modern man is. In my opinion the contrary was true. Probably at least some nomadic hunter-gatherers had more leisure time than modern employed Americans do. It’s true that the roughly forty-hour work-week of Richard Lee’s Bushmen was about equal to the standard American work-week. But modern Americans are burdened with many demands on their time outside their hours of employment. I myself, when working at a forty-hour job, have generally felt busy: I’ve had to shop for groceries, go to the bank, do the laundry, fill out income-tax forms, take the car in for maintenance, get a haircut, go to the dentist ...there was always something that needed to be done. Many of the people I now correspond with likewise complain of being busy. In contrast, the male Bushman’s time was genuinely his own outside of his working hours; he could spend his non-working time as he pleased. Bushman women of reproductive age may have had much less leisure time because, like women of all societies, they were burdened with the care of small children."
They were also burdened with entertaining pleasure-seeking Bushmen, hence the need to care for small children ;-)

ysette9

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #98 on: April 12, 2020, 08:46:17 AM »
This.

Even now, I love my family and am grateful for them, but being at home 24/7 caring for all of them now is harder than when I was back at work.

dude

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Re: Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE
« Reply #99 on: April 13, 2020, 09:37:19 AM »
Biggest surprise? How little money I actually need to live on. Don't get me wrong, I'm currently living on a pretty obscene sum (monthly pension), but I'd figured I would start drawing money right away from my 401k, and other than a one-time withdrawal for a big purchase last year, I'm not touching my 401k, because I don't need to.

Best advice - same as always, don't worry about the things you can't control, and focus on the things you can/do. Stoicism 101.