General Discussion > Post-FIRE
ashamed to be FIRE?
Cashonda:
Maybe a weird question...
Have any of you FIREd or partially FIREd and then were embarrassed to tell people about it?
I worked in the rat race for about 12 years and always wanted to quit and be free. I remember as a 14 year old asking my mom "how much money do you need to have so that you dont ever have to work?" She gave me a very perplexed look. But I didnt really discover people like you fine folks until recently. I mean, I heard of the 4 hour workweek, the Motley Fool and Smart Dad Dumb Dad or whatever it is called, but that didnt really answer my question. How can I quit working full time and just live off my savings?
Anyway several years ago I just got fed up and quit my job. I planned to find another job in a month or so. But I never did. I started a few passion projects and side hustles and even small businesses over time. But I never went back to working for the man full time.
I had some money saved that paid me interest, and it was pretty much enough to live on, very frugally. I wasn't like you awesome folks and I didnt plan on doing this, but it was working out ok.
The thing is, I never told ANYONE that I was doing this. Friends seemed to wonder how I could support myself without a FT job and probably gossiped behind my back but no one really asked me straight out. And the thing is, if they did, I dont know what I would have said. I told a boyfriend once after we had been dating for about a year that I lived about 50% off interest from my savings. He looked at me like I was nuts. He had a full time job and thought I was lazy because I worked when I wanted and didnt have to go to the office daily. He would even complain that he had to support me, when he was living in my house without paying rent! But I think in his mind, I didnt "work" so I was poor and so he must be supporting me- although probably it was the other way around!
Now I have discovered MMM and all the other FIRE folks and I feel like I have found my tribe. Maybe now I can finally realize what I have been doing and tell people the truth. But I still wonder if I will get flack for it.
I guess I feel a stigma toward being RE that it means I am spoiled or lazy. And I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this after retiring early.
Do people give you crap about not working a full time job while you are still young? Do people give you crap for living frugally when if you just "got a job" you could have anything you wanted?
ixtap:
Just keep the focus on what you ARE doing, rather than what you are not doing. Has your health improved? Are you getting involved in anything new?
jim555:
I used to tell people I was retired. But then I would have to explain things and that is more information than I am willing to share, and it gives away I have money. So now I say I work from home. Too much information can create weird reactions.
I have always been frugal so no one was surprised when I told them I retired.
Someone I know couldn't understand how I could give up so much money by quitting. Told her not to worry about it.
Financial.Velociraptor:
I'm in the jim555 boat. A few select people know my status but most people think I "work from home". It isn't worth the hassle to explain it to someone who isn't going to be enthusiastic about it. Weird sidelong glances and lots of disbelief.
RyanAtTanagra:
First, I hope you got rid of that boyfriend, he sounds like an idiot. Or that he at least came around.
Second, I don't plan on telling people I'm retired/fi/fire/whatever, for those reasons. I'm just going to say 'I'm taking a break and living off savings until I figure out what I want to do.' If people realize I haven't worked in a long time I'll just say 'yea, I still haven't run out of savings yet, so I'm just enjoying it.' People might not understand how one can invest enough to live on, but most can at least wrap their head around having enough savings to take a break, albeit short maybe.
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