Author Topic: Are you happier post-FIRE?  (Read 22919 times)

Rollin

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #50 on: December 13, 2019, 12:40:16 PM »
1.5 years out. Much less stress and exhaustion, happiness levels are unchanged (I have been a very happy person for a long time so never expected to improve that). My goals were less social anxiety, less stress and no exhaustion. I have achieved those goals.

3+ years out - and not one day have I regretted my decision. Not one! I just love the way that I can do so much more with my time and not cram it in on a weekend. Today - leisurely coffee in the AM, meditation, healthy smoothie for breakfast, walk the dog, spend a few hours making an awesome soup for the next few meals (Plant Paradox stuff), hike a few hours in a beautiful natural area (including a beautiful short nap), stop by health food store for ingredients for the mrs to cook dinner, read out back for an hour, and now type into the computer - on a Monday! Tuesday will be either a 50 mile bike ride (and same awesome coffee an food time) or take my dad out on my skiff for a few hours. Wednesday, rinse, repeat, plan for next few day adventure by bike, hike, or boat. I love it!
Wow, updates from Rollin and Sol this week. Yippee!



Been pretty busy, but love coming back to the forum now and then. Still out here exploring ands inventing my retired life as things unfold. Pretty cool. Had a plan and mostly followed, but also keeping my self open and surrendering to the things that come up as much as b\possible.

BreakBad

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #51 on: December 31, 2019, 03:07:18 PM »
Quit at 45; 18 months later and I'd say I'm unhappy in different ways. Oh the joy of being me.

Don't regret leaving the job, but we moved to a small, isolated LCOL community where the options for being 'productive' are limited. Sure, I could find a bunch more volunteer stuff (doing some already), but nothing seems to appeal to my need to do something big and important. Maybe I'll get over this.

I've stopped calling myself "retired", partially because it feels smarmy among most of the people I associate with, and partially because I want to be open to the next phase of my life. "Retired" to me is an end-state.

I never considered myself a "type a" or ambitious really, but was always drawn to feeling like I was productive and doing something important, or serving something big.

Back to the original post and topic: I am starting to think about the traits that make somebody happy/successful in retirement, and I believe the number one thing is being self-motivated (which I'm not - I do things for others).

TL,DR:
- How are you going to spend your time?
- How do you know you will be fulfilled by whatever you're doing?
- What makes you happiest at work? How will you recreate that feeling in RE?
- Wherever you go, there you are.

BB.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2019, 03:25:51 PM by BreakBad »

Jon_Snow

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #52 on: December 31, 2019, 05:47:25 PM »
As we come to end of another calendar year and head into the next I find myself, as I usually do at this time, reflecting back on this past FIRE’d year - my 5th - and the others that preceded it. I think everyone’s FIRE experience will be uniquely their own, but my own experience has been that my happiness has been on an upward curve for the past 5 years. The euphoria of the first 6 months or so was it’s own separate animal and nothing will every be like that again...but since then...definitely a slow build of happiness. I think with each year comes a little bit of extra wisdom and with that I think I am just a little bit more aware and grateful for what this opportunity has meant for me....and I hope, for the people around me.

Needless to say I cannot wait to see what 2020 brings.

Jonboyz

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #53 on: January 16, 2020, 08:43:50 PM »
My mood and anxiety levels were about 3/10 (0 being lowest and 10 highest) pre-fire.

As soon as I had made the decision to quit my toxic career path, my mood rose to 8/10. That was about 10 years ago.  Since then, I’ve settled at about 6-7/10.  I miss the social engagement with peers, but I love the freedom and independence of post-FIRE.

Evgenia

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #54 on: January 23, 2020, 04:30:04 PM »
Very, VERY happy. Wouldn't change a thing - and honestly shudder to think of pre-FIRE life. It's been almost five years and waking up whenever we want, and drinking coffee in bed for as long as we want, still hasn't gotten old.

ysette9

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #55 on: January 23, 2020, 04:38:12 PM »
Very, VERY happy. Wouldn't change a thing - and honestly shudder to think of pre-FIRE life. It's been almost five years and waking up whenever we want, and drinking coffee in bed for as long as we want, still hasn't gotten old.
Aaahhhh, that sounds beautiful

ysette9

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #56 on: January 23, 2020, 07:30:51 PM »
Very, VERY happy. Wouldn't change a thing - and honestly shudder to think of pre-FIRE life. It's been almost five years and waking up whenever we want, and drinking coffee in bed for as long as we want, still hasn't gotten old.

@Evgenia got free!  So nice to see you here.  Let me take a moment to kiss the ring.   

Your blog was inspiring and helped me flip the table on my career as a technical woman in industry.  I first read your How to Quit Your Job post when googling like hell from some crappy hotel room traveling for work in the summer of 2016, looking for solace and trying to understand exactly what I had just been through that day. 

I was in Houston and the rest of the leadership team had been out all night drinking and our Director came in to our meeting at 10am (it started at 7am) and he had a big shiner on his forehead.  He was still a bit drunk, and sick.  Apparently he had hit his head on the nightstand stumbling into his hotel, and I learned from the dudes that it was not the first time they had poured his sorry ass into his room after he had gotten blind drunk. 

I was the only woman on the leadership team and never had done the crazy drinking that they insisted on.  It made me damn mad to realize that the reason we had to travel so often is because every one of those rat bastards was using work travel as drinking holidays on the company's dime as often as they possibly could.  I got on 83 planes that year so those assholes could have all the booze they could hold, paid for by the company.  We got nothing done at those meetings and now I knew why. 

That trip was when I discovered your writings as well as Cate Huston and Julie Pagano.  I decided I had nothing to prove and didn't need to put up with their bullshit any more, they are never going to change. 

Thank you.    ╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
It does feel like we are in the same room as a celebrity, doesn’t it? I discovered her blog at work also. Tech as well, though hardware, not software, so being a woman seems to be a better experience. The job is still tough though.

ysette9

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #57 on: January 23, 2020, 09:57:46 PM »
I imagine location and industry matter a lot. I spent most of my career in aerospace in the Bay Area. Especially early in my career I almost felt I got déférence because I was a young woman working with a bunch of gruff, burly older guys. Like they were making sure they were on their best behavior because they knew they had better be. It was harder to break through and connect with people when I worked in CO.

I’ll say my stint working in manufacturing and especially on one classified program was rough. Not that I got any bad behavior directly, but the culture was SO testosterone white male that it was a little sickening.

Here in consumer hardware in the Bay Area I am completely the odd duck. One of the few women and the only Caucasian. I feel a mismatch of values that will prevent me from going anywhere in this group if I had such a desire. I am not keen on the group being managed like a fiefdom and my idea of work life balance requires more than weekends off.

But soon it won’t matter at all!

EscapeVelocity2020

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #58 on: January 23, 2020, 10:11:27 PM »
This is just me being a bit selfish, but after FI you have leverage to just do whatever the **** you want to turn the tables.  And this is what the future corporate world / inequality needs more than ever.  When the last people who know the game drop out, it leaves the newcomers and up-and-comers in an ever more compromised position.  My wife is still hanging in the school system to make sure teachers are given a fair shake.  It is so easy for rich parents to crap on good teachers that give their kids poor grades or for teachers to fall in line with BS because they need to put in 'x' amount of time...  It is quite sad what does go on in the corporate world, but (again me being selfish) I would hope the Mustachians of the world would not abandon fellow workers that they are now in a position to help.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #59 on: January 24, 2020, 12:57:53 AM »
Very, VERY happy. Wouldn't change a thing - and honestly shudder to think of pre-FIRE life. It's been almost five years and waking up whenever we want, and drinking coffee in bed for as long as we want, still hasn't gotten old.

The waking up whenever feels natural is indeed one if the better aspects of FIRE. The other is that you can make a plan of something to do, start quite late and still be able to do it without crowds of others present. Unlike earlier weekends, where we always had to go skiing at 9 am to be before the crowds.

I generally like every being so quiet, also on the roads. I might get shocked this afternoon when we will visit the capital in the afternoon rush hour, and the following weekend.

Threshkin

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #60 on: January 24, 2020, 05:28:31 PM »
Very, VERY happy. Wouldn't change a thing - and honestly shudder to think of pre-FIRE life. It's been almost five years and waking up whenever we want, and drinking coffee in bed for as long as we want, still hasn't gotten old.

The waking up whenever feels natural is indeed one if the better aspects of FIRE. The other is that you can make a plan of something to do, start quite late and still be able to do it without crowds of others present. Unlike earlier weekends, where we always had to go skiing at 9 am to be before the crowds.

I generally like every being so quiet, also on the roads. I might get shocked this afternoon when we will visit the capital in the afternoon rush hour, and the following weekend.

Yes, I hate it when I need to go out during commute time.  So much traffic and aggressive drivers.  I avoid it whenever possible.  But I socialize with many people who are still working so our get togethers need to happen after work.  Oh well, MPP

Lucky13

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #61 on: January 24, 2020, 09:31:58 PM »
It is quite sad what does go on in the corporate world, but (again me being selfish) I would hope the Mustachians of the world would not abandon fellow workers that they are now in a position to help.

I've thought about this, and I agree that in theory we can help others by staying in our jobs, and this was one reason I didn't quit earlier. But in practice it turned out harder than I expected (or maybe I'm not good at it?). I've gotten disillusioned about helping my fellow workers.  Or maybe it's just a disconnect, they are still at the phase of their career seeking money and climbing the corporarte ladder, when I don't care about that anymore, I'm already FI. 
« Last Edit: January 28, 2020, 02:17:29 PM by Lucky13 »

EscapeVelocity2020

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #62 on: January 24, 2020, 10:12:28 PM »
It is quite sad what does go on in the corporate world, but (again me being selfish) I would hope the Mustachians of the world would not abandon fellow workers that they are now in a position to help.

I've thought about this a lot, and I agree that in theory we can help others by staying in our jobs, and this was one reason I didn't quit earlier. But in practice it turned out harder than I expected (or maybe I'm not good at it?). Most of the younger people who come to me for career mentorship / advice have the same question: "How do I get promoted?" Not how do get better at my job, or how can I excel at my profession, or contribute to the field or the company, it's all about "Me me me!" and "How can *I* get ahead?"  So frankly I've gotten disillusioned about helping my fellow workers.  Or maybe it's just a disconnect, they are still at the phase of their career seeking money and climbing the corporarte ladder, when I don't care about that anymore, I'm already FI.

Thanks for the reply.  My wife was not able to influence her employer at the time either (a diabetes supply company) when it went from being a great, small company to bought out and turned in to impersonal and profit focused mega-corp.  She did her best but felt crushed by how fast it was changing.  But she left health science and returned to the working world as a teacher (full time and subbing) and has been really gratified by being able to carry the mantle for worthy causes that others can't since their job is essential.  So, long story short, there are lots of workers out there that we can help given our FI at working age superpower!

BicycleB

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #63 on: January 25, 2020, 09:28:20 AM »
It is quite sad what does go on in the corporate world, but (again me being selfish) I would hope the Mustachians of the world would not abandon fellow workers that they are now in a position to help.

I've thought about this a lot, and I agree that in theory we can help others by staying in our jobs, and this was one reason I didn't quit earlier. But in practice it turned out harder than I expected (or maybe I'm not good at it?). Most of the younger people who come to me for career mentorship / advice have the same question: "How do I get promoted?" Not how do get better at my job, or how can I excel at my profession, or contribute to the field or the company, it's all about "Me me me!" and "How can *I* get ahead?"  So frankly I've gotten disillusioned about helping my fellow workers.  Or maybe it's just a disconnect, they are still at the phase of their career seeking money and climbing the corporarte ladder, when I don't care about that anymore, I'm already FI.

Thanks for the reply.  My wife was not able to influence her employer at the time either (a diabetes supply company) when it went from being a great, small company to bought out and turned in to impersonal and profit focused mega-corp.  She did her best but felt crushed by how fast it was changing.  But she left health science and returned to the working world as a teacher (full time and subbing) and has been really gratified by being able to carry the mantle for worthy causes that others can't since their job is essential.  So, long story short, there are lots of workers out there that we can help given our FI at working age superpower!

@EscapeVelocity2020, great remarks.

Also, @Lucky13 - not every attempt works but if you don't try, you don't know. So thanks on everyone's behalf that you gave it your best shot!

TeeNixx

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #64 on: January 28, 2020, 06:42:23 AM »
PTF

rachael talcott

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #65 on: January 30, 2020, 12:43:22 PM »
I'm coming up on my 3-year retire-versary.  At first, the dominant feeling was one of immense relief at having gotten out.  It took a good year for the stress to drain off, and for the nightmares to stop.  I also slept a lot that first year.  At that one-year point, I found that I could focus on things like reading a whole novel again, which is something I loved years ago, but had lost with the stress of work.  I think I've regained the level of happiness I had in college and grad school, and lost pretty quickly upon starting my career. I also have the sense that the future is going to be even better than the present, so I still have some room for increased happiness at this point. 


Exflyboy

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #66 on: January 30, 2020, 09:09:50 PM »
I was in mechanical engineering with heavy industry (compressors and jet engines).  Definitely the same vibes though in many of these technical careers, isn't there; women are endangered species and strangely unwelcome.  I am glad you had a bit better time though.  Nothing is universal and I try to be careful to not paint it all with one brush. 

But, I bet they are glad that uppity chick is gone now that I FIREd, which makes us even.  They can slave away and kill their livers all they want.  Ha!

These comments make me really sad. As a white male in high tech/heavy industry I can honestly say I really enjoyed working with the women on my teams. In fact the ladies often thought in uniquely different way to my male colleagues and subordinates. These differences often led to solutions that we just better because we had the female perspective built into the product.

I really hope I am not remembered by my staff/teamates as some kind of misogynistic luddite. I am also sorry you gals felt not part of the club because thats just not right..:(

Threshkin

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #67 on: January 31, 2020, 09:57:57 PM »
I was in mechanical engineering with heavy industry (compressors and jet engines).  Definitely the same vibes though in many of these technical careers, isn't there; women are endangered species and strangely unwelcome.  I am glad you had a bit better time though.  Nothing is universal and I try to be careful to not paint it all with one brush. 

But, I bet they are glad that uppity chick is gone now that I FIREd, which makes us even.  They can slave away and kill their livers all they want.  Ha!

These comments make me really sad. As a white male in high tech/heavy industry I can honestly say I really enjoyed working with the women on my teams. In fact the ladies often thought in uniquely different way to my male colleagues and subordinates. These differences often led to solutions that we just better because we had the female perspective built into the product.

I really hope I am not remembered by my staff/teamates as some kind of misogynistic luddite. I am also sorry you gals felt not part of the club because thats just not right..:(

Pre FIRE I worked in the software development industry.  We had a high percentage of women in the company and the majority of the managers were women.  I saw it as the normal state the industry.  But back when I first started working the ratio was heavily male oriented.  This shifted over time to a more balanced state.

infromsea

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #68 on: February 01, 2020, 06:40:23 AM »
It is quite sad what does go on in the corporate world, but (again me being selfish) I would hope the Mustachians of the world would not abandon fellow workers that they are now in a position to help.

I'm slow to respond to this post/quote but I could not agree more with your sentiment. If we can mentor those "behind us on the path" or "still in the arena" maybe we can make a difference.

I'm in an area that is 50% active duty MIL, 40% retired MIL and 10% people who are from here. The jobs in the area consist of defense contractor roles where they try to underpay you, healthcare (which most MIL can't get roles in), the trades, and service jobs.

The DC roles will try to underpay anyone walking in the door since they know you don't need healthcare and have a pension, I've had hiring managers brag about how they lowball vets and the vet will take it, often because they are not FIRE. I counsel vets weekly on how to earn a cert than can increase their income intentional, make them eligible for work outside of their industry, and help them move if they want to, and they STILL jump on the JAC (Just another contractor) jobs as soon as they are offered, because they haven't done the work to move towards FI. I wish I had been able to do more to combat this when I was active duty but I'll keep fighting the fight now that I'm on the other side.

MishMash

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #69 on: February 01, 2020, 07:10:43 AM »
I was in mechanical engineering with heavy industry (compressors and jet engines).  Definitely the same vibes though in many of these technical careers, isn't there; women are endangered species and strangely unwelcome.  I am glad you had a bit better time though.  Nothing is universal and I try to be careful to not paint it all with one brush. 

But, I bet they are glad that uppity chick is gone now that I FIREd, which makes us even.  They can slave away and kill their livers all they want.  Ha!

These comments make me really sad. As a white male in high tech/heavy industry I can honestly say I really enjoyed working with the women on my teams. In fact the ladies often thought in uniquely different way to my male colleagues and subordinates. These differences often led to solutions that we just better because we had the female perspective built into the product.

I really hope I am not remembered by my staff/teamates as some kind of misogynistic luddite. I am also sorry you gals felt not part of the club because thats just not right..:(

Oh how I wish the men I worked with were like you.  I worked for a software startup, the harassment got so bad, it's the main reason I quit, I was one of two women in the entire company.  One of my main harrasers, (both physically groping and verbally abusive) just got promoted to a VP last week.

ysette9

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #70 on: February 01, 2020, 09:20:25 AM »
I was in mechanical engineering with heavy industry (compressors and jet engines).  Definitely the same vibes though in many of these technical careers, isn't there; women are endangered species and strangely unwelcome.  I am glad you had a bit better time though.  Nothing is universal and I try to be careful to not paint it all with one brush. 

But, I bet they are glad that uppity chick is gone now that I FIREd, which makes us even.  They can slave away and kill their livers all they want.  Ha!

These comments make me really sad. As a white male in high tech/heavy industry I can honestly say I really enjoyed working with the women on my teams. In fact the ladies often thought in uniquely different way to my male colleagues and subordinates. These differences often led to solutions that we just better because we had the female perspective built into the product.

I really hope I am not remembered by my staff/teamates as some kind of misogynistic luddite. I am also sorry you gals felt not part of the club because thats just not right..:(

Oh how I wish the men I worked with were like you.  I worked for a software startup, the harassment got so bad, it's the main reason I quit, I was one of two women in the entire company.  One of my main harrasers, (both physically groping and verbally abusive) just got promoted to a VP last week.

liveitupoutdoors

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #71 on: February 03, 2020, 01:43:33 PM »
Yes—happier retired!  I was happy prior to retiring, but this vastly increased freedom to pick and choose the targets of my energies which are most meaningful/valuable to me (and on my own timeframe) is priceless. I was virtually certain I would love retirement, and I’m fortunate that I was right!  The only negatives are that I’ve found it difficult finding others my age or elevated energy level that have freedom to go play during the week, or take longer vacations. They’ve all still gotta work!  But this can be a positive, too, in that workweek hours are primo volunteering times, and there are so many worthwhile opportunities.

keyvaluepair

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #72 on: February 03, 2020, 08:22:18 PM »
Been 2.5 years now since I Fire'd from a software engineering career when our startup got acquired. It gave me the ability to work on whatever I liked and explore new fields deeply. Since I still enjoy coding, I'm back to doing another startup with some of my previous co-founders, but I don't consider myself to be in the workforce since I'm not yet getting paid. So am I FIRE'd? I seem to think so since I can go ride my bike whenever I want (between rain showers in the great Pacific Northwest) and I don't have a boss. I'll never go back to a corporate job (unless we get acquired again) and being FI takes that stress out of the picture.

So: Happiness is UP, Stress is DOWN, Learning is UP. What's not to like?

ysette9

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #73 on: February 04, 2020, 06:47:59 AM »
About two years ago I was on maternity leave and getting zero stress and generally miserable. I posted here worried that FIRE was going to be like maternity leave and I would hate it. I got plenty of assurances that this was not the same thing.

So I have another baby now, getting on five months, and I’m looking at FIRE in March. So the same fear comes up again: what if it isn’t fun (at first) and is just trading one job for another?

I don’t consider myself becoming a SAHP because my older ones will continue with school/daycare and we are looking into part-time daycare for the baby, for my own sanity and to free up time for some big personal projects. I wonder if there are any experiences of parents with small kids, especially when one parent FIREd before the other. My husband has another year-ish to go before joining me.

Dicey

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #74 on: February 04, 2020, 06:58:04 AM »
I know I've already answered this question,  but every time this thread pops up, my brain screams, "Oh, HELL YES!", so I'm answering again, with a smile on my happy mug.

IslandFiGirl

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #75 on: February 04, 2020, 08:33:32 AM »
Oh man, I can't wait to be able to REALLY answer this question TOMORROW, but today is my last day of work and I can tell you that tomorrow when I don't have to drive to work on the crunchy, snowy, icy slick roads I will DEFINITELY be happier.  Reason number one to be happy about not having a job...no more commute (especially in bad weather!  Woot!)

ysette9

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #76 on: February 04, 2020, 09:13:00 AM »
Oh man, I can't wait to be able to REALLY answer this question TOMORROW, but today is my last day of work and I can tell you that tomorrow when I don't have to drive to work on the crunchy, snowy, icy slick roads I will DEFINITELY be happier.  Reason number one to be happy about not having a job...no more commute (especially in bad weather!  Woot!)
Yippee!

BicycleB

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #77 on: February 04, 2020, 01:25:37 PM »
@IslandFiGirl, congrats!!

Linea_Norway

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Re: Are you happier post-FIRE?
« Reply #78 on: February 05, 2020, 06:57:19 AM »
Oh man, I can't wait to be able to REALLY answer this question TOMORROW, but today is my last day of work and I can tell you that tomorrow when I don't have to drive to work on the crunchy, snowy, icy slick roads I will DEFINITELY be happier.  Reason number one to be happy about not having a job...no more commute (especially in bad weather!  Woot!)

We have similar roads. My commute wasn't so long, about 9 km. But I so much hated having to drive in the chaos of other commuters, school maxi taxis, garbage trucks. Lots of people driving fast and sticking to my bumper. Lots of people getting stuck in the snow on our steep roads, because they don't have 4x4, while living in a place there you need that.

Being FIREd means that I can just stay home on the days that the roads are at their worst, or decide to walk. And I can drive on quieter moments of the day. We can drive to our cabin in daylight instead of in the evening during rush hour. Life is so much better for driving reasons. Then add the rest like waking up at a natural moment. And doing whatever you want that day.

The only thing is, doing whatever you want is still depending on the wether. When I am home, this year, I can hardly ski, because the is almost no snow. Luckily we have a cabin in a place with lots of snow. So were are staying there for a lot of the time. Just going home for the occasional appointments there.

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!