Author Topic: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?  (Read 13992 times)

Fru-Gal

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #50 on: October 19, 2022, 07:15:22 PM »
I quit last December and I am FIRE. I don’t regret it for a single second even though it was a dream job and a career peak for the particular niche that I was working in. I don’t think about the topic area anymore either. However if a year or two passes and I am truly compelled to go back I certainly could and would not be behind in my professional knowledge.

As for other jobs, I’m trying to wrack my brains…. There were some good jobs that I had that I was fired from (laid off, but not always). When I was younger and financially insecure this was a real blow. It also hurt because I’m very passionate about work when I have it and I had put a lot of myself into the jobs.

But with decades of life experience under my belt now I have learned that there are many far worse things that can happen to you beyond quitting or losing your job. So no I don’t regret ever leaving a job.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2022, 07:19:27 PM by Fru-Gal »

mspym

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #51 on: October 19, 2022, 07:46:59 PM »
Not the OP, but thank you to Malcat for addressing the sunk cost of a previous career. I just today quit my job and don't plan to work in the field. I struggled with this decision for awhile, but was finally able to move past the sunk cost of the time and energy I devoted to college, grad school, numerous certifications, and 14 years. However, it finally clicked for me that it's possible that 18/19 year-old me did not actually get to decide what kind of jobs I have for the rest of my life. Planning to decompress for awhile and then will probably find a new Coast FI job that appeals to 30-something me.

This is awesome.
It really really is.

Metalcat

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #52 on: October 20, 2022, 06:49:35 AM »
I quit last December and I am FIRE. I don’t regret it for a single second even though it was a dream job and a career peak for the particular niche that I was working in. I don’t think about the topic area anymore either. However if a year or two passes and I am truly compelled to go back I certainly could and would not be behind in my professional knowledge.

As for other jobs, I’m trying to wrack my brains…. There were some good jobs that I had that I was fired from (laid off, but not always). When I was younger and financially insecure this was a real blow. It also hurt because I’m very passionate about work when I have it and I had put a lot of myself into the jobs.

But with decades of life experience under my belt now I have learned that there are many far worse things that can happen to you beyond quitting or losing your job. So no I don’t regret ever leaving a job.

Ugh, this is so true.

I held a very prominent role in my profession, and I'm still involved, so everyone knows me, and even years later, I'm constantly asked if I miss it. And yes, I absolutely miss it, every single day I miss it. I LOVED that work.

But I have learned that I love a lot of things. I also LOVED undergrad and doing neuroscience research. Omg, that was probably the most thrilling work I've ever done. But I would never want to go back. It was so thrilling because I was young and learning, and getting opportunities to do crazy shit that most undergrads don't get to do. My love of it was context specific.

There's no way I would want to go back to sitting in undergrad classes with essentially children and their stupid thoughts and opinions. I can barely stand my current grad school classmates, and I'm not even sharing a physical class with them. Lol.

The things we enjoy are context specific and situated in a place and time. There are some things we loved and could reasonably go back to, like jobs that ended sooner than we wanted, but the further we get from them, the more we can build new lives and new selves who are less and less compatible with those old loves.

As I said, I spend a lot of time with my old colleagues and we talk endlessly about the profession, because that's what we have in common, and the further I am away from it, the more I realize I've grown in a different direction because I've specifically cultivated a life and self that benefits from *not* having that job.

I'm tremendously nostalgic when talking with them, but it's becoming more like being nostalgic about highschool. It's becoming firmly situated in the *past* as a career belonging to a past self who no longer exists.

Even if I could go back, that would mean abandoning the new things I love. I've built this whole new awesome life that *only* works because I no longer have that career. I leaned in HARD to maximizing the benefits of early retirement.

And that's the thing. Life is so enormous. Leaving a job isn't just removing a thing from your otherwise static lifestyle, it radically opens a near infinite number of doors that you can choose to walk through.

Each lifestyle choice you make: education, jobs, partner, location, etc, they all close doors. Every time you commit to an option in life, you close an enormous number of doors. So each time one of those options is removed, you fling open a range of possible futures that you didn't have before.

I actually felt incredibly hemmed in by my career. I tangibly felt the doors that were closed around me because of the choices I had made. They felt worth it at the time, but I was very aware of them. All careers close doors. It's the trade off you have to make to get them.

Leaving a job, any job, explodes the number of futures you now have to choose from. If you perceive it that way and seize that as an opportunity to expand, then there really isn't a lot of opportunity for regret, because there are just *too many* options for moving forward in exciting and rewarding ways.

You have to ask yourself "who can I be now that the bulk of my time/energy resources aren't being co-opted by that job?"

GilesMM

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #53 on: October 20, 2022, 07:08:39 AM »
You may with to ask people who have been retired 20 years if they regret working too long!  The only people I know who went back to work after retiring did so out of boredom or some other desire unrelated to finances.  Going back to work because of money means you are choosing that lever over many others related to lifestyle, spending or are just a worry-wort.

BeanCounter

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #54 on: October 20, 2022, 07:13:46 AM »
No. Quit in August of 2020 and do not regret it. What I do regret is taking on some consulting work in the same field because of fear. Working my way through that now.

When I was leaving my previous role, I really struggled with feelings about how I had worked so hard to get to that level and I was being considered for CFO positions and that felt like something I "should" do. Something I wanted my kids to see me do. But I was so fucking burnt out and miserable. I think it was someone on this forum that suggested listening this Youtube video from Alain DeBotton- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KDB42qGT-8
I found it so helpful. I wanted to continue climbing the career ladder and making more money for all the wrong reasons and that's why I was miserable. I'm truly happy at home, with less, and volunteering my time for things I believe in.

I hope that's helpful to you.

Metalcat

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #55 on: October 20, 2022, 07:26:57 AM »
You may with to ask people who have been retired 20 years if they regret working too long!  The only people I know who went back to work after retiring did so out of boredom or some other desire unrelated to finances.  Going back to work because of money means you are choosing that lever over many others related to lifestyle, spending or are just a worry-wort.

Bingo.

I'm going back to work because if I don't put my industrious energy towards paid work, I'm just going to put it towards unpaid work, and if I'm going to work as hard as a naturally do, I might as well engineer a way to get paid well for it.

When I first retired I really hesitated to do full retraining because I was still in the mindset of whether or not it was "worth it." A few years later, doing a master's is something interesting to do with my ample free time. Lol.

The change from the working mindset of "is this worth it" to "fuck it, why not? What else am I going to do with a few years of time and all this money?" Is a pretty radical change.

achvfi

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #56 on: October 20, 2022, 02:35:09 PM »
No. Quit in August of 2020 and do not regret it. What I do regret is taking on some consulting work in the same field because of fear. Working my way through that now.

When I was leaving my previous role, I really struggled with feelings about how I had worked so hard to get to that level and I was being considered for CFO positions and that felt like something I "should" do. Something I wanted my kids to see me do. But I was so fucking burnt out and miserable. I think it was someone on this forum that suggested listening this Youtube video from Alain DeBotton- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KDB42qGT-8
I found it so helpful. I wanted to continue climbing the career ladder and making more money for all the wrong reasons and that's why I was miserable. I'm truly happy at home, with less, and volunteering my time for things I believe in.

I hope that's helpful to you.
Thanks for the link. Enjoyed it.

chevy1956

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #57 on: October 20, 2022, 05:04:38 PM »
Short answer - No.

Long answer - for me personally I think not having a job has led to me thinking more about who I am and what to do and how to act etc. I'm basically 50 yo and I find this interesting. Of course this occurred during work but it's just different not having a job that takes up a lot of your time.

moof

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #58 on: October 20, 2022, 06:34:40 PM »
I regret that my work situation got completely toxic with a lying micromanaging boss before my planned exit date.  I should have left at least a year sooner.  At the end I did interview elsewhere and was just so exhausted and pissed off that I turned down an amazing offer.  The idea of starting over at a new outfit was just overwhelming, and all I wanted to do was quit.  My wonderful wife told me to quit, and we are now on coast-FIRE (spouse-FIRE?) on her salary.

When the engineering work in my career was good and reasonably well managed you had to drag me home at the end of the day.  After too many years of badly managed engineering on doomed/pointless projects for indecisive jerk internal customers you could not drag me into work in the morning for anything.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2023, 05:20:59 PM by moof »

blue_green_sparks

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #59 on: October 20, 2022, 07:46:30 PM »
I regret that my work situation got completely toxic with a lying micromanaging boss before my planned exit date.  I should have left at least a year sooner.  At the end I did interview elsewhere and was just so exhausted and pissed off that I turned down an amazing offer.  The idea of starting over at a new outfit was just overwhelming, and all I wanted to do was quit.  My wonderful wife told me to quit, and we are now on coast-FIRE (spouse-FIRE?) on here salary.

When the engineering work in my career was good and reasonably well managed you had to drag me home at the end of the day.  After too many years of badly managed engineering on doomed/pointless projects for indecisive jerk internal customers you could not drag me into work in the morning for anything.
My last years as an engineer were pretty bad. Constantly told by managers to "be more positive, have faith" and forced to take personality profile questionnaires and all kinds of assorted nonsense, it felt like being in a religious cult sometimes. I felt like the last one who knew enough to understand the complex challenges we faced. The core competency was slowly sliding away and being replaced by frilly feel-good.

almost

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #60 on: October 21, 2022, 09:51:18 AM »
I regret that my work situation got completely toxic with a lying micromanaging boss before my planned exit date.  I should have left at least a year sooner.  At the end I did interview elsewhere and was just so exhausted and pissed off that I turned down an amazing offer.  The idea of starting over at a new outfit was just overwhelming, and all I wanted to do was quit.  My wonderful wife told me to quit, and we are now on coast-FIRE (spouse-FIRE?) on here salary.

When the engineering work in my career was good and reasonably well managed you had to drag me home at the end of the day.  After too many years of badly managed engineering on doomed/pointless projects for indecisive jerk internal customers you could not drag me into work in the morning for anything.
My last years as an engineer were pretty bad. Constantly told by managers to "be more positive, have faith" and forced to take personality profile questionnaires and all kinds of assorted nonsense, it felt like being in a religious cult sometimes. I felt like the last one who knew enough to understand the complex challenges we faced. The core competency was slowly sliding away and being replaced by frilly feel-good.

My last few years working in compliance were full of misery, anger, and bitterness.  Maybe a little depression too.  I was making a lot of money and felt trapped.  Honestly, I was not a great employee or person to be around at that point in time.  I should have just quit and found another job.  It would have helped me be a better person.

I have now been FIRE for 3 years and I am a happier, better person.  I've done lots of great stuff too.  But I have been thinking about going back to work.  A little bit for the money, but mostly for cool opportunities like an apprenticeship.

crazyworld

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #61 on: November 27, 2022, 03:57:01 PM »
I sure did; and I only went very part time, did not even quit. I enrolled in and earned credentials in Indian holistic medicine and was around for the teenage years of my son. But as my studies wound down and son needed me less, I really started questioning my choices. Maybe because I couldn't travel because of son's school and DH still working. And anyway, how much of leisure activities can you do before being bored of them - this is very YMMV, but my mileage was that I needed something to do, to solve, some purpose. As it happened, person I hired to replace me left last year and I have gone back FT to my old job, with some growth possibilities. I'm very happy. It was a crazy busy year, but I was so energized. If you asked people, they would consider me laid back, go with the flow kind of person - and yet, the intellectual stimulation was important for me. probably helps its a small-sized company and I like all the people. I did health coaching, volunteering and still do, but ultimately this was not enough for me.

Yes, I do have some thoughts about travel now that son is off to college, but I'm happy at the moment to help pay for his college and not have him start life with debt. Will reconsider in a few years. May negotiate some PT remote work times to extend time off for travel if I need - the pandemic has normalized that somewhat. But even without that, I am quite satisfied.

scottish

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #62 on: November 27, 2022, 05:08:16 PM »
I regret that my work situation got completely toxic with a lying micromanaging boss before my planned exit date.  I should have left at least a year sooner.  At the end I did interview elsewhere and was just so exhausted and pissed off that I turned down an amazing offer.  The idea of starting over at a new outfit was just overwhelming, and all I wanted to do was quit.  My wonderful wife told me to quit, and we are now on coast-FIRE (spouse-FIRE?) on here salary.

When the engineering work in my career was good and reasonably well managed you had to drag me home at the end of the day.  After too many years of badly managed engineering on doomed/pointless projects for indecisive jerk internal customers you could not drag me into work in the morning for anything.
My last years as an engineer were pretty bad. Constantly told by managers to "be more positive, have faith" and forced to take personality profile questionnaires and all kinds of assorted nonsense, it felt like being in a religious cult sometimes. I felt like the last one who knew enough to understand the complex challenges we faced. The core competency was slowly sliding away and being replaced by frilly feel-good.

I left engineering jobs in 1989, 1991, 1996, 1997, 2000, 2009 and 2013, for much the same reasons.   In hindsight, I'm amazed at the tolerance industry has for poor management.

I don't regret leaving a single one.

Cassie

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #63 on: December 11, 2022, 09:40:38 PM »
I have known people to quit jobs and regret it greatly not being able to get a job at their former level. I have had 3 careers. I spent many years raising kids and going to college and graduate school. I started my main career at 39 and spent almost 4 years with a horrible employer.

I had to move across the country for a job in my field with the state and stayed 15 years retiring at 58. During that time while I always loved the work I went through some bad management but stayed for the pension and so happy that I did.  If I had left before I did it would have been a big regret.  A year later I taught an online college class for 8 years. It was great fun. 

EverythingisNew

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #64 on: January 12, 2023, 01:37:12 PM »
The first time I took a break from the workforce I had 3 babies in a 4 year break. When I got a new job I was paid half of what I made before with the benefit of working from home. I stayed in that job for 3 years and one promotion and I still made 10% less than my pre-kids job. I quit when they refused the raise I requested, but said I was leaving for family reasons. I’ve been off for a few months now. I feel like I will never be able to get back to where I was in my career before kids.

Do I regret it? Some what, because I liked working, was good at it, and because of the money. Sometimes I feel that I’m behind my peers and siblings. But then I also don’t regret it. I especially loved being a stay at home mom with my first baby. That was such a luxurious time of taking her places in the day time sunshine hours and making friends with other moms. When I had 3 it suddenly wasn’t as fun and I rarely went out with the three kids. We mostly played at home. I really loved the first 2 years with only 1 baby. That time was priceless!

It’s also really hard to be a dual income family with little kids. Childcare is expensive and it gets to the point that it’s just nicer to be with your own children.

Some thing I often say is, I will work when I’m old. I would much rather have this time with my kids now when I am saving $1200/month per kid on daycare and getting precious time building strong bonds, then when it’s just me and my husband in an empty house. I would imagine I would want to work to avoid boredom, but it probably won’t be a “professional” job. That’s okay with me because I’m a Jack-of all trades and don’t need the money.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2023, 01:39:23 PM by KateFIRE »

sbryant31

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #65 on: January 22, 2023, 09:47:27 AM »
This goes a long with another similar thread, but I think gets more to the heart of the matter. Has anyone quit their job for FIRE and then later regretted quitting because they realized they needed more money and that they had a pretty cushy job and regretted quitting.  I think that's what I'm most afraid of. Running out of money and having to go back to work or cutting expenses isn't that big of a deal, I just want to end up regretting quitting my cush job.

I quit a 7 figure job and I don’t regret it one bit. I grinded it out there and saved for a few years, but then I hit my “goal” number and quit. I have a weird perspective on money and work. I come at it from an abundance mindset. Basically, I have faith in my ability to earn at least as much money as I did in the past in the future. Even if that belief is unfounded and I was lucky (I definitely was), the belief is the reason I became a millionaire in the first place.

Sometimes I feel a pang of jealousy when I think about how much money my old cofounders are making without me. But then I look at my life of freedom & self respect - and I find that is priceless.

Fru-Gal

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #66 on: January 22, 2023, 11:19:26 AM »
Quote
Basically, I have faith in my ability to earn at least as much money as I did in the past in the future.

Same. I also feel like if my money doesn’t seem to be holding out after a few years of FIRE, that will push me to find creative ways to make some more, and that is not a bad thing (for me) to combat stagnation/complacency.

eyesonthehorizon

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #67 on: January 23, 2023, 11:18:08 PM »
Quote
Basically, I have faith in my ability to earn at least as much money as I did in the past in the future.

Same. I also feel like if my money doesn’t seem to be holding out after a few years of FIRE, that will push me to find creative ways to make some more, and that is not a bad thing (for me) to combat stagnation/complacency.
I don't have this at all. (It's not that I undervalue my work - I know I'm worth much more than I'm paid, I've just not had bandwidth until recently for the turbulence of job-hopping, the #1 way to secure raises.) Any sense where it comes from?

Metalcat

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #68 on: January 24, 2023, 09:16:46 AM »
Quote
Basically, I have faith in my ability to earn at least as much money as I did in the past in the future.

Same. I also feel like if my money doesn’t seem to be holding out after a few years of FIRE, that will push me to find creative ways to make some more, and that is not a bad thing (for me) to combat stagnation/complacency.

I have the same attitude. I'm proactively building opportunities to make money down the road, but even if I were to walk away from those, there are plenty of other interesting options out there.

Fru-Gal

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #69 on: January 24, 2023, 10:19:36 AM »
Quote
Any sense where it comes from?

It comes from financial hardship and making my own opportunities as a self-employed person. My final corporate job was a direct result of my own one-person biz. I have plenty of blind-spots and insecurities in some areas of value-creation/demand, but in general FIRE has fixed the main money insecurity by having a permanent cushion.

Sadly, I don’t I could ever work for someone again (collaborate in low-stakes or volunteer or fun, no problem). FIRE has given me a big head 😆/made me even more allergic to authority. (It would have to be something so big and important that I would follow orders). So I would probably have to create passive income streams or run projects myself with contractors.

Metalcat

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #70 on: January 24, 2023, 10:29:35 AM »
Quote
Any sense where it comes from?

It comes from financial hardship and making my own opportunities as a self-employed person. My final corporate job was a direct result of my own one-person biz. I have plenty of blind-spots and insecurities in some areas of value-creation/demand, but in general FIRE has fixed the main money insecurity by having a permanent cushion.

Sadly, I don’t I could ever work for someone again (collaborate in low-stakes or volunteer or fun, no problem). FIRE has given me a big head 😆/made me even more allergic to authority. (It would have to be something so big and important that I would follow orders). So I would probably have to create passive income streams or run projects myself with contractors.

Lol, also same attitude again . I can't work for other people anymore either unless it's low stakes. With other people? Depends...maybe...but probably not long term.

eyesonthehorizon

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #71 on: January 25, 2023, 05:27:58 PM »
Quote
Any sense where it comes from?

It comes from financial hardship and making my own opportunities as a self-employed person. My final corporate job was a direct result of my own one-person biz. I have plenty of blind-spots and insecurities in some areas of value-creation/demand, but in general FIRE has fixed the main money insecurity by having a permanent cushion.

Sadly, I don’t I could ever work for someone again (collaborate in low-stakes or volunteer or fun, no problem). FIRE has given me a big head 😆/made me even more allergic to authority. (It would have to be something so big and important that I would follow orders). So I would probably have to create passive income streams or run projects myself with contractors.

Lol, also same attitude again . I can't work for other people anymore either unless it's low stakes. With other people? Depends...maybe...but probably not long term.
Both these replies hit paradoxically on the roots of my insecurity. I can feel my skeptical, questioning streak rising back to the surface after I buried it deep to survive the last great recession; I became a chameleon, perfectly obliging. But I'm no longer particularly interested in being the best at wasteful makework, praising the results of corporate shortsightedness, overlooking chauvinism, etc. I fear I may not be able to do the "I live to serve" act that gets people hired ever again. Where I am now, I have the authority/ seniority to provide the service & hold the smile, since my work is guaranteed first-quality.

Self-employment might be a better fit for me, but I lack direction & experience; I'd want both before I needed them, & my hands are still too full with the day job to get a grip. If something happened while I was still fumbling for that lifeline I'd feel pretty bitter about my decision to release what I already had.

Metalcat

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #72 on: January 25, 2023, 05:37:51 PM »
Quote
Any sense where it comes from?

It comes from financial hardship and making my own opportunities as a self-employed person. My final corporate job was a direct result of my own one-person biz. I have plenty of blind-spots and insecurities in some areas of value-creation/demand, but in general FIRE has fixed the main money insecurity by having a permanent cushion.

Sadly, I don’t I could ever work for someone again (collaborate in low-stakes or volunteer or fun, no problem). FIRE has given me a big head 😆/made me even more allergic to authority. (It would have to be something so big and important that I would follow orders). So I would probably have to create passive income streams or run projects myself with contractors.

Lol, also same attitude again . I can't work for other people anymore either unless it's low stakes. With other people? Depends...maybe...but probably not long term.
Both these replies hit paradoxically on the roots of my insecurity. I can feel my skeptical, questioning streak rising back to the surface after I buried it deep to survive the last great recession; I became a chameleon, perfectly obliging. But I'm no longer particularly interested in being the best at wasteful makework, praising the results of corporate shortsightedness, overlooking chauvinism, etc. I fear I may not be able to do the "I live to serve" act that gets people hired ever again. Where I am now, I have the authority/ seniority to provide the service & hold the smile, since my work is guaranteed first-quality.

Self-employment might be a better fit for me, but I lack direction & experience; I'd want both before I needed them, & my hands are still too full with the day job to get a grip. If something happened while I was still fumbling for that lifeline I'd feel pretty bitter about my decision to release what I already had.

FTR, I had to walk away from my first career due to a severe injury after spending a quarter million on over a decade of school and then only working for 7 years. I'm full on retraining for an entirely new career, largely because I'm unable to work for the next 2+ years due to multiple, totally debilitating surgeries.

It's not like I've been lucky and stumbled ass first into skills that make it super easy for me to make money.

In fact, it's because I've had to do everything about the hardest and most inefficient way possible that I feel so confident that I could do it again if I needed to.

The worst case scenario *did* happen to me, and I still have tons of really great options. I just wanted to make it clear that my optimism doesn't come from a history of good fortune. Quite the opposite.

eyesonthehorizon

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Re: Anyone Regret Quitting a Job?
« Reply #73 on: January 25, 2023, 06:26:21 PM »
...In fact, it's because I've had to do everything about the hardest and most inefficient way possible that I feel so confident that I could do it again if I needed to.

The worst case scenario *did* happen to me, and I still have tons of really great options. I just wanted to make it clear that my optimism doesn't come from a history of good fortune. Quite the opposite.
This is both a really good point & part of why I feel so overwhelmed. I played very conservative with my career once I got one because I had hell raining down on the weak points of my personal life (many medical emergencies & deaths, abuse toward me & loved ones, minimal financial solvency) & couldn't bear any more instability - so even though it was miserable it was a predictable sort of miserable that offered me a small shovel. With years of desperate scrabbling I won what feels like a tiny islet of safety to stand on that should be able to accumulate a bit faster than I run it down, but I've seen how quickly things can crumble.

So I feel like I've been through the wringer, but also not really tested in a way that offers useful insight about the capacities I'll need in the future - or at least the skills that kept me alive to now are ones I mostly hope not to need again.