I'm not sure if you have considered it, but they could become independent before college, and that way your income isn't a consideration. My best friend did this with her parents knowledge and encouragement. She then lived in a house with a few other collegiates...that her parents owned close to the local university. And they indirectly paid her in state tuition. And she got scholarships, both need and merit based. I would offer to assist your kids at the local university, whatever that means to you. That way they can stay at home and commute, or have a job to help pay. BUT if they want to go study at xyz private or out of state school..that would send them down to student loanville. I have heard that those that attend Princeton and the like have very little in the way of expenses, as the alumni endowments provide generous scholarships. And weddings?? When that time comes, offer a set contribution amount your financial situation allows. NEVER make promises without specific limits, especially without a source of endless income.