Author Topic: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.  (Read 10668 times)

dctom2010

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Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« on: September 02, 2015, 10:14:12 PM »
I am late-40s with a 3MM net worth, inclusive of a paid-off house.  I don't spend much money, probably $18k per year.  But I fill my days with work and biking to and from work. 

I am afraid I am going to be bored.  I have tried a week of not working and didn't really feel like fixing up the house or doing yard work.  I did get to the gym more often.  But I spent too much time online doing nothing.  I am a buy-and-hold investor, so I don't really want to day trade although I might sell some covered calls. 

The concept of travel sounds great, but I'd pretty much be traveling by myself.  And I hate the modern airline experience and the everything-is-a-scam hotel experience.  I tried a week of living like a nomad and found myself feeling marginalized like a homeless person.  Even tried volunteering for a couple of weeks but didn't do it for me.   

I just think I am going to be really bored and that depresses me.  Tell me I am a loser and to just need to man-up and FIRE already and be fantastic without the crutch of a job to go to that identifies me and fills my days.  I think I need therapy.

okits

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2015, 10:19:20 PM »
If you took away the option of spending your time online doing nothing, what would you do then?

Another thought: what is the purpose of your life, beyond self-fulfillment?

FiveSigmas

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2015, 10:57:48 PM »
Hi dctom.

Do you enjoy work? If you do, there's nothing saying you have to stop. See, for instance:

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/04/30/weekend-edition-retire-in-your-mind-even-if-you-love-your-job/

If you don't enjoy your work and are looking for something else, though, there are tons of resources on the web to find new hobbies. For instance, Nords frequently recommends Zelinski's Get-A-Life tree (I haven't read any of Zelinski's work myself).

patrickza

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2015, 11:36:28 PM »
If you don't think you'll enjoy it why not just stay working? Or try and have some fun, and if you don't get another job. Someone who's built up that much net worth should have very marketable skills, so maybe find a job you love, paid or unpaid.

vern

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2015, 02:26:16 AM »
Keep working.

happy

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2015, 03:45:33 AM »
Quote
Tell me I am a loser and to just need to man-up and FIRE already
Tempting, really tempting.

Many of us on this board, want to FIRE because work gets in the way of all the fun stuff we want to do. I feel sad for you that you can't think of anything  you want to do. I think you need to spend some time exploring what gives your life true meaning and joy. It might take a while, and  you might blunder around a bit trying to figure it out but don't give up.

Frankies Girl

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2015, 04:54:35 AM »
If you like your job, then keep working.


If you don't like your job, quit and develop some interests and hobbies. I can't remember where I read it, but there was a saying about if you're bored, then you're probably boring. So stop being boring and find stuff that is fun and interests you. Your life should not be defined by your job.

You could go take some classes (get a degree in something fun!), teach yourself how to cook/sew/build things/paint/garden/?? Volunteer at a shelter or work with kids. Get a telescope and do some stargazing. Take up a sport. Learn to play a musical instrument. Go snorkeling. Collect butterflies. Read some books, write some books, go see some scenery, try out some social events and make some friends. Do something you used to think would be fun if you ever had the time... or get a job doing something fun or challenging, but never paid enough to let you consider working there (since you don't really need the money anymore).

And frankly there is nothing whatsoever wrong with spending some time just sitting on your ass and playing on the computer/watching television for a while (says the FIREd person currently sitting on their ass playing on the computer for the last couple of hours). And an afternoon nap is awesome. Just don't let them become the majority of your daily routine.




smiller257

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2015, 05:38:15 AM »
I wonder if your extreme frugality is getting in the way of enjoying life outside of work. With a 3MM net worth, you could easily spend $100k per year but you are only spending $18k. Spending money will not bring happiness but I think embracing some hobbies could.

I've found that boredom is self-inflicted. To not be bored, you need to have hobbies and things that get you excited about life. I enjoy blogging, traveling, boating, fishing, golf, photography, cycling, working out, hiking and volunteering. 

I was not always that way. When I was working full time, I had few hobbies and my weekends were filled with chores around the house, not very exciting. It was not until I reached FIRE that started embracing hobbies I never had time for before and I love it.

You are certainly not a loser, you've been very successful. Try a few hobbies and see if you like them. But give them time, don't just try something once and dismiss it. And if you love to work, why not work part time?

All the best!

hdatontodo

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #8 on: September 03, 2015, 05:46:20 AM »
If you like bike riding, how about joining a bicycle club or volunteering at a youth club? My kid is in a club that meets 3X per week.

How about training for a triathlon?

GuitarStv

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2015, 06:44:32 AM »
You sound lonely, not bored.  Something that hours wasted alone browsing the internet seems to compound.

+1 to the suggestion of joining up with a group of people for regular rides . . . this will replace your commuting, probably be more fun that riding to work, and will help you meet people.

Another +1 to the idea of trying new stuff.  You sound like someone who doesn't really know himself.  Check out the things available in your city . . . dance classes, learning to play an instrument, martial arts, power lifting competitions, rock climbing, cooking, book clubs . . . sign up for a few classes anything that sounds remotely interesting to you.  Some of them may not pan out, but the only way to find something you're passionate about is to try.  It's also a great way to get out and meet people.

You also mention that you would like to travel.  Who cares if you're traveling on your own?  You don't need to stay in scam hotels . . . maybe try staying in hostels (again, a way to meet new people) and touring europe.  Do you have any friends?  You could plan out and book a vacation to go somewhere with one of them.  It takes more work to plan out a vacation where you're being frugal . . . but you have time to do research and plan it all out now!

Since travel and cycling are the two things you mentioned as interests, why not combine them?  Go on a bike tour.  This can be done very cheaply, lets you meet new people and see places in a way that is a little different than any other form of traveling.  https://www.crazyguyonabike.com/ is a good place to get some inspiration.

Make a rule for yourself about screen time.  Something like 'only use a screen after 5:00 pm'.  This kinda forces you to go out and live in the real world for a bit, and break bad habits.  You are used to living a particular pattern that involves staying busy and working for the betterment of someone else.  You need to get used to living a pattern that involves staying busy and working for the betterment of yourself!
« Last Edit: September 03, 2015, 06:48:56 AM by GuitarStv »

Louisville

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #10 on: September 03, 2015, 07:04:09 AM »
A couple weeks is not nearly long enough to tell you how a lifestyle change really feels and how you're really going to react to it.

bsmith

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2015, 07:05:22 AM »
Working part-time is another option.

pom

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #12 on: September 03, 2015, 07:47:17 AM »

I wonder if your extreme frugality is getting in the way of enjoying life outside of work. With a 3MM net worth, you could easily spend $100k per year but you are only spending $18k. Spending money will not bring happiness but I think embracing some hobbies could.


I was wondering the same. You way want to "force" yourself to spend more for a few months and see if that helps. You could spend 2% or 2.5% of your liquid net worth (excluding the house) without taking much risk.

3Mer

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #13 on: September 03, 2015, 10:39:27 AM »
I think you've lost part of yourself in your work routine.  I don't think you realizing you may be bored after FIRE is a bad thing.  I think given enough free time, and lacking your regular routine, you would begin to find yourself again, find what you like and what brings you enjoyment.  That can be a fun process.  The fact you're having these thoughts now tells me, maybe you want to start working on finding yourself now, before you leave your job?   

LAGuy

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #14 on: September 03, 2015, 03:51:36 PM »
As somebody that plans to travel a lot, I'd suggest you give it another shot. You really need to give it more then a week. On some of my bigger trips, it's usually taken me about 2 weeks to start to get the feel for it. Maybe pick a destination to live for awhile? Go to Peru. Learn Spanish. Or to cook. Or volunteer for an NGO in Cambodia. And if you don't like flying, with that kind of coin, why not just consider flying first class everywhere, lol?

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #15 on: September 03, 2015, 04:14:44 PM »
I think I need therapy.

Let's focus on why you said this.  If you are inherently unhappy now, you will continue to be so in FIRE. 

Can you answer a couple questions for us:
*What are your personal core values?
*What makes you smile?
*Do you eat nutritious food at least twice a week?
*Are you drinking enough water?

regulator

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #16 on: September 03, 2015, 04:25:59 PM »
I think you've lost part of yourself in your work routine.  I don't think you realizing you may be bored after FIRE is a bad thing.  I think given enough free time, and lacking your regular routine, you would begin to find yourself again, find what you like and what brings you enjoyment.  That can be a fun process.  The fact you're having these thoughts now tells me, maybe you want to start working on finding yourself now, before you leave your job?

+1. I think that if you have let all your non-work interests go you really need to find some again before you quit your job.  Frankly, even if you choose to keep working life would be so much richer if you find some new passions.  Since I quit the career cube track job I have taken up beekeeping, shotshell reloading, shooting trap, and am in the process of learning to make soap.  If I had more time (work and kid stuff eats a lot), there are two or 3 ore things I would like to do.  But if I never found more time in my schedule for stuff besides work, I would have done none of these fun/fascinating/compelling activities.  Find some time and figure out what you would like to do instead of/in addition to work.  If you are lonely, you may also find a group of enthusiasts in whatever hobby you pick up to socialize with.

Nords

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #17 on: September 04, 2015, 11:37:46 PM »
I am late-40s with a 3MM net worth, inclusive of a paid-off house.  I don't spend much money, probably $18k per year.  But I fill my days with work and biking to and from work. 

I am afraid I am going to be bored.  I have tried a week of not working and didn't really feel like fixing up the house or doing yard work.  I did get to the gym more often.  But I spent too much time online doing nothing.  I am a buy-and-hold investor, so I don't really want to day trade although I might sell some covered calls. 

The concept of travel sounds great, but I'd pretty much be traveling by myself.  And I hate the modern airline experience and the everything-is-a-scam hotel experience.  I tried a week of living like a nomad and found myself feeling marginalized like a homeless person.  Even tried volunteering for a couple of weeks but didn't do it for me.   

I just think I am going to be really bored and that depresses me.  Tell me I am a loser and to just need to man-up and FIRE already and be fantastic without the crutch of a job to go to that identifies me and fills my days.  I think I need therapy.
This reminds me of that old scene in the ancient sitcom "Cheers", where Sam the bartender tries to cheer up Norm the beer drinker.  Nothing works.  Finally Sam says "Well, I could just keep on coming up with entertaining ideas for you to have fun with, and you could keep on shooting them down."  Norm immediately cheers up and says "Yeah, that's it!!"

If you enjoy work, or if you find it fulfilling, then keep working.  Doctors, lawyers, university professors... very few of them ever have any compelling reason to retire.

Hopefully you're not one of those people who depends on everyone else in the office to entertain them with human drama theater or calls everyone into meetings as a cure for temporary loneliness.

I also hope you're not one of those people who gets their life's structure and routine from the cubicle walls of the office environment.

One friend of mine who evinced thoughts similar to yours turned out to be chronically/clinically depressed.  If that sounds like you then it's worth discussing with a doctor... but I've only known one person like that.

One week is not enough time to test-drive your retirement.  It's barely enough time to recover from chronic fatigue, which seems to cover some of your symptoms.  I'd recommend an absolute minimum of 30 days, and more like two months.  Even then you should approach changes cautiously and not make any huge disruptions in location, relationship status, or progeny for at least two years.  Take it a day at a time and make small changes, giving each change at least a week or two of trial before moving to another change.  Or don't make any changes to your life at all-- just enjoy being while smelling the proverbial flowers.

Your idea of travel has been skewed by work vacations.  When you retire you can choose the way you want to travel.  You can live in vacation rental apartments or do house-sitting gigs.  And again, if you're not traveling for at least 30 days then you're not doing it right.  Earlier this year we spent 70 days in southern Spain hanging around our daughter's house with day trips and occasional overnighters to other cities.  Next month we're going back for another 70 days.

If you don't enjoy your work and are looking for something else, though, there are tons of resources on the web to find new hobbies. For instance, Nords frequently recommends Zelinski's Get-A-Life tree (I haven't read any of Zelinski's work myself).
As FiveSigmas says, you could start here:  http://bestretirementquotes.blogspot.com/2009/10/get-life-tree-great-retirement-planning.html

Eventually you'll rekindle the creativity and enthusiasm for a playful life that you used to have when you were a kid.

Trudie

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #18 on: September 08, 2015, 08:37:52 AM »
Nords wrote some sage advice, so I won't repeat it.

But, I highly recommend the retirement books by Ernie Zelinski -- "How To Retire Wild, Happy and Free" and also "The Joy of Not Working."  The first addresses the emotional side of retirement.

I am not yet FIRE, but anticipating being so in 5-6 years.  I was concerned about the emotional aspect and read the first Zelinski book.  I return to it when I'm wavering.

Nords

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #19 on: September 08, 2015, 09:08:23 AM »
I am not yet FIRE, but anticipating being so in 5-6 years.  I was concerned about the emotional aspect and read the first Zelinski book.  I return to it when I'm wavering.
I've had Ernie's "Get-A-Life Tree" printout on my desk for over a decade, but I've been too busy to get around to working on it...

okits

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #20 on: September 08, 2015, 07:20:46 PM »
Hmmm... I sometimes think these kinds of posts from a one-time poster is a troll to rile up us FIRE'ees but I'll bite.

Yup, OP last visited Sep 3, 12:26am.  Still a useful discussion and thought exercise for the rest of us.

acroy

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #21 on: September 09, 2015, 12:46:57 PM »
Hi dctom.

Do you enjoy work? If you do, there's nothing saying you have to stop. See, for instance:

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/04/30/weekend-edition-retire-in-your-mind-even-if-you-love-your-job/


This is a good one, and the reason I'm still at it - and will be for another 5yrs or until it gets boring :)

Cougar

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #22 on: September 09, 2015, 12:47:15 PM »
I am late-40s with a 3MM net worth, inclusive of a paid-off house.  I don't spend much money, probably $18k per year.  But I fill my days with work and biking to and from work. 

I am afraid I am going to be bored.  I have tried a week of not working and didn't really feel like fixing up the house or doing yard work.  I did get to the gym more often.  But I spent too much time online doing nothing.  I am a buy-and-hold investor, so I don't really want to day trade although I might sell some covered calls. 

The concept of travel sounds great, but I'd pretty much be traveling by myself.  And I hate the modern airline experience and the everything-is-a-scam hotel experience.  I tried a week of living like a nomad and found myself feeling marginalized like a homeless person.  Even tried volunteering for a couple of weeks but didn't do it for me.   

I just think I am going to be really bored and that depresses me.  Tell me I am a loser and to just need to man-up and FIRE already and be fantastic without the crutch of a job to go to that identifies me and fills my days.  I think I need therapy.

you need to get outside your comfort zone. there are plenty of things you can do that are pretty cheap that you might enjoy if you tried them.

1. there are over 130 million books written, i'd think you could find a few that you found interesting.
2. you could move someplace to where you can fish daily.
3. you could take up golf.
4. you could learn a language and build up an online network of others to where you became fluent and then could chat with people from china or russia daily.
5. any town bigger than 50,000 has volunteer opportunities all over.

i'm jealous. i find a couple of things a week i would rather do than work. if i had your money, i'd have retired a million dollars ago and not have enough time to do everything i wanted.

Tom Bri

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #23 on: September 16, 2015, 08:20:59 PM »
I wonder if your extreme frugality is getting in the way of enjoying life outside of work. With a 3MM net worth, you could easily spend $100k per year but you are only spending $18k. Spending money will not bring happiness but I think embracing some hobbies could.

Interesting problem to have, one I most likely never will. Maybe, with that kind of spending power, you could try becoming an anonymous charity? Find some person or group that needs a kick in the pants and gift them with 'X' $s and see what happens. Could be really fun.
"Local university grad student wants to research a novel vaccine, needs $ to get started..."
"Local church needs new roof..."
You could spend your time scouting for opportunities to give. I am almost never bored, unless I am trapped in a social situation where I can't leave, so I don't really have a great understanding of your problem.

Tyler

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #24 on: September 19, 2015, 10:07:35 AM »
I think you've lost part of yourself in your work routine.  I don't think you realizing you may be bored after FIRE is a bad thing.  I think given enough free time, and lacking your regular routine, you would begin to find yourself again, find what you like and what brings you enjoyment.  That can be a fun process.  The fact you're having these thoughts now tells me, maybe you want to start working on finding yourself now, before you leave your job?

+1

Many people see boredom as a terrible thing, but after leaving my own job and learning to let go of work as a sense of direction I've learned to appreciate boredom.   I don't believe our brains are designed for constant stimulation, and IMHO the idea that one must be perpetually fully engaged with one thing or another to be happy is just another form of drug addiction (dopamine, in this case) with all of the withdrawal symptoms that entails. 

Boredom is the mental state of maximum opportunity.  Nothing is stressing you out, weighing you down, demanding your attention, or getting in your way of trying something new.  IMHO, a bit of boredom every once in a while is the ideal state for a driven person.  Letting go of old habits and allowing time to find new interests is a healthy part of personal growth. 

risky4me

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #25 on: September 19, 2015, 11:43:09 AM »


  IMHO, a bit of boredom every once in a while is the ideal state for a driven person.  Letting go of old habits and allowing time to find new interests is a healthy part of personal growth.
[/quote]

Agreed- Retirement/refocusing will not likely change your habits immediately. I have always been very driven and my best and worst personality trait is that I have tunnel vision and focus on a task doggedly until it is complete. The difference for me is now I am refocusing on objectives that are fun, relaxing, without timeline for completion. This has been a big adjustment for me, but I find while I still have a need to be 'busy', my personal growth objective is to will learn to refocus that energy on learning new things and enjoying new adventures.
 I have never been bored and I doubt if I will ever be, life is too exciting.

BTDretire

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #26 on: September 20, 2015, 03:03:57 PM »
I  didn't see anyone mention taking classes at a local college.
Or teach someone how to make $3MM, or at least how to get away from
minimum wage jobs.

kib

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #27 on: September 20, 2015, 03:14:43 PM »
Too bad if this is a trolling post.  I think OP should try something like this:

https://www.backroads.com/award-winning-tours/biking/united-states

traveling, biking, nice food and welcoming accommodations, and others to travel with all rolled into one. 

I'm only partly exaggerating, this might be expensive even for a multi millionaire to keep up, but I think OP might take things he thinks he has some interest in, like biking, and roll them together to see if something new comes out of it.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2015, 03:20:23 PM by frufrau »

MrMoogle

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #28 on: September 21, 2015, 12:27:47 PM »
Hmmm... I sometimes think these kinds of posts from a one-time poster is a troll to rile up us FIRE'ees but I'll bite.

Yup, OP last visited Sep 3, 12:26am.  Still a useful discussion and thought exercise for the rest of us.

When I saw this post, I thought it was a revived old post.  I remember thinking before, if you spend 18k/year and have 3M in assets, that's 0.6%/year withdrawal rate. 

Anyway, I'm not retired yet, but I'm planning on a big decompression time for me to figure things out.  I have enough things to do until then.

sanshe

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #29 on: September 21, 2015, 04:58:19 PM »
It takes a bit of time, maybe even a year or two, to settle into early retirement. Over time opportunities pop up that you are able to take advantage of. That's due to the beauty of being available at short notice, unlike people who are tied to a work schedule. This may be travel related. For me, I find opportunities to go away with friends who are still working. One friend attends conferences around the world and sometimes I go with her. But I get to explore wherever we are while she is stuck inside. She's probably the bored one! Then when she has free time I take her to do the best things I have found. My husband doesn't like to travel as much as I do so I am used to travelling a bit on my own. It's pretty common to travel solo these days.
Next year my mother-in-law wants to go to Barcelona for her 80th birthday. I am learning Spanish so I will be more useful to her (and my husband) while we are there. Other family members can't go for the whole time she wants to be away but we can because we are retired! I spend a bit of time online with my lessons and doing holiday planning. But that's constructive online time. Also make an effort to join some groups online that meet up for activities you enjoy. Like the cycling. People like you are out there and the internet makes it possible for you to find your kind of people.
As for volunteering, that definitely took me some time to find the right fit. My dream was to volunteer at an animal shelter which I did pretty much as soon as I retired. I loved the working with the animals part but there was some bullying going on toward one of the other volunteers by the boss. I felt uncomfortable staying quiet about that so I said something and ended up losing my "job". Perhaps in a real work situation I would not have stood up for her for fear of losing my job. What I'm trying to say here is that I think I became a better person and truer to my core beliefs once I retired. I now provide emergency care for orphaned wildlife until permanent carers can be found so I have found a way to work with animals that suits me and my lifestyle. When I want to travel I take my name of the list of available carers. My husband tried a few different things with volunteering until he found what he liked. We live in a rural area and he is part of a program that assists disadvantaged young adults to get their drivers licence. That helps their chances of getting a job enormously and he finds it very rewarding.
You will find a multitude of things to do once you are open to the possibilities. I don't have enough hours in the day for everything I want to do. And that includes commenting on forums!

firewalker

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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #30 on: September 21, 2015, 07:13:24 PM »
With that spending to stache ratio, you could be truly badass and start a community renewal project! You could develop a small business and hire the unemployed.You could start your own homeless shelter. You could look for that unfortunate, but hardworking family and donate a gift to help them dig out a little. 

Dee18

  • Handlebar Stache
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Re: Am I going to be bored??? I think I am going to be bored.
« Reply #31 on: September 22, 2015, 05:15:08 AM »
For your next trip, consider going on a group bicycle trip or other group outdoor adventure.  I had many great travel experiences that way.  I especially liked the cycling trips as I could be with others as much or as little as I wanted during the day, and then had fun company at dinner.