General Discussion > Post-FIRE
*Control Over Your Life* before-and-after FIRE
RyanAtTanagra:
--- Quote from: heybro on January 09, 2018, 01:50:36 AM ---What are you agreeing to in life early on that you hope to never agree to in FIRE? Or what did you agree to early in life that you won't agree to any more?
--- End quote ---
For me it's unethical behavior, or just being willing to speak my mind when I believe things are being done wrong. At my current job I'm seen as a dissenter, because I'm quick to question everything if it doesn't make sense. It was harder to do that when I was broke and needed the job.
For an example, my first use of FU money was very early on, right after getting my messy finances under control. One of the things the company I was working for did was to mislead customers on the abilities of our product in order to make the sale, then delay responding to the customer until after the 30-day money back period was over. As a tech support person, I was honest about telling them 'no, our product doesn't do that, I don't know why the salesman would have told you that'. My boss was not happy because I was single-handedly ruining their refund numbers, and he told me flat out that I needed to lie until the 30 days was up. I just looked him in the eye and said 'no'. Went back and forth a few times as he was confused by an employee telling him no. Then he just walked away and it never came up again. Shortly after I decided that wasn't the type of company I wanted to work for and left.
Ever since then I've never done anything I wasn't comfortable with, and I'm often the one speaking up about company policies that effect everyone, but one else has the guts to say anything.
Lews Therin:
I'm in the military... I traded a lot of things for Job security and a pretty good paycheck.
Now that I don't need the money, I want it all back.
MY HAIR WILL BE SO LONG.
soccerluvof4:
--- Quote from: SachaFiscal on January 09, 2018, 10:49:09 AM ---I’ve been out of the rat race for about six months and have enjoyed more control over my daily life. I like not being interrupted often to work on something that someone else deems a critical high priority task. I can focus on what I want. I have control over my diet and activity/exercise. I’ve been able to cook fresh healthy food and exercise more regularly. I don’t stress eat or drink anymore. It took a while to get out of the bad habits I developed while working though and I’m still working on some of them.
I definitely am enjoying my freedom but also feel a bit unanchored which causes some anxiety and a sort of lost sensation. I’ve added some responsibilities like volunteer work, certain chores, and some classes to provide me with routine, some life challenges, some purpose, and some motivation to make progress on larger goals I have. This helps with that lost feeling.
FIRE definitely gives time and space to find your happiness but it’s not a cure all. It gives an opportunity to grow, experience new things, try out different things. But you have to motivate yourself, be open to change, and be brave to try new things.
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+1^ I echo this. I am going on 3 years and its improved immensely but definitely for me since happened fast as opposed to a long time planning I am planning more as I go now.
Mr. Green:
When I was in my early to mid-20's I put up with a ton of boredom at work because I knew the industry I was in would pay better than anything else I could do without going back to school and training for a completely different field. I spent 40 hour work weeks with no phone, no internet access, trying to look busy, and feeling absolutely miserable.
I can always look back and wonder if it was worth what felt like several years of torture but I already had early retirement in my head when I was coming out of college, so I knew that career was my best shot at complete control of my time when I was young. And here I am 34 and FIRE. I can't really say whether it was worth all that pain because I don't know what my life would have been like had I just given up the ghost. Maybe I'd be a successful business man. Maybe I'd be a bum. You could drive yourself crazy wondering about the lives you didn't live. Knowing that I'm free at 34, I'm okay with what I sacrificed to be where I am today.
I think this is one area that I could question if early retirement might have hamstrung me early on. If I was just a guy thinking about working into my 60's, I'd have for sure dropped those boring jobs like a bad habit and found something I enjoyed more. My wife and I were frugal be nature so I think if we didn't have a big income we'd have still been okay because saving was so ingrained for us. Hell, maybe we'd still be FIRE but instead of planning to live on 40k a year we'd be comfortable getting by on 25k because we're even better at knowing what basics we really can live on, and what is fluff.
One thing I did learn early on is not to let anyone push me around. I always worked hard and felt that if I was doing my best, then I could have my principals and if anyone disagreed with that then I either win because I'm a harder worker, or my best isn't all that great because I'm just not a good fit for that role, in which case I should do something else anyway.
So I guess what I really agreed to early in life is being locked into that high income all the way to FIRE, like a horse with blinders on. In FIRE, I would never agree to a single thing in my life that I chased no matter what. There are simply times when the effort is not worth the reward, no matter how we'd like for the end result to be what we want.
A HUUUUUUUGE thing for me in FIRE is that I thought all that freedom meant I'd have total control over changes we were making and that they would be easy because we were FIRE. We planned to make so many changes in an 18 month span that it took panic attacks and therapy sessions for me to realize that no matter how in control and easy you might think big life changes can be (because you're FIRE), there are emotional elements to these things you can't just put in boxes and move around like a machine. To that end I now try to pay extra attention to the broad strokes of my life, feeling them out, instead of just assuming I'm the master because I have complete control of my time. I think this is something engineers tend to overlook because we're so focused on the efficiency of the mechanical aspects of a task.
Now that I've dealt with my self-created demons I understand change much better and I'm very excited about the additional big life changes that I know will be coming as we start a family, begin international travel, etc.
heybro:
--- Quote from: Mr. Green on January 09, 2018, 04:52:28 PM ---We planned to make so many changes in an 18 month span that it took panic attacks and therapy sessions for me to realize that no matter how in control and easy you might think big life changes can be (because you're FIRE), there are emotional elements to these things you can't just put in boxes and move around like a machine.
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Thank you so much for sharing this. I also read Mad Fientist say that he had trouble with isolation and depression (along with depravity).
When I paid off all my student loans, I was surprised at the seemingly roller-coaster of emotions I felt afterwards from being thrilled to being disappointed to also being able to finally take on things I never thought I could.
I have always wanted to step-outside-the-system and see FIRE as a way to do so. The only thing worse than working forever may be not working forever. What I mean by that, is I do believe FIRE forces you to confront things that you probably never had to think about before (mostly because you couldn't).
I am glad to be here. Thank you.
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