Words/phrases I wish would go away

[Metalcat]

Withdrawal (as a verb)

Wait...what?

[Morning Glory]

Withdrawal (as a verb)

Wait...what?

Yep
 It's pronounced "with drawl". It's a regional/ethnic pronunciation, like "exscape".

[merula]

Withdrawal (as a verb)

Wait...what?

Yep
 It's pronounced "with drawl". It's a regional/ethnic pronunciation, like "exscape".

My question isn't on the pronunciation, it's how the noun form of the verb "to withdraw" is used as a verb itself. "I withdrawalled my money from the account."?

[GuitarStv]

Withdrawal (as a verb)

Wait...what?

Yep
 It's pronounced "with drawl". It's a regional/ethnic pronunciation, like "exscape".

My question isn't on the pronunciation, it's how the noun form of the verb "to withdraw" is used as a verb itself. "I withdrawalled my money from the account."?

A sufficiently motivated person can verb any word with a little effort.

[Metalcat]

Withdrawal (as a verb)

Wait...what?

Yep
 It's pronounced "with drawl". It's a regional/ethnic pronunciation, like "exscape".

My question isn't on the pronunciation, it's how the noun form of the verb "to withdraw" is used as a verb itself. "I withdrawalled my money from the account."?

Yeah, I'm also not asking about pronunciation, nor do I see a problem with pronouncing it "with-drawl" that's how everyone I've ever heard say it pronounces it.

But how on earth are people using withdrawal as a verb when withdraw is already a verb??

[Morning Glory]

Withdrawal (as a verb)

Wait...what?

Yep
 It's pronounced "with drawl". It's a regional/ethnic pronunciation, like "exscape".

My question isn't on the pronunciation, it's how the noun form of the verb "to withdraw" is used as a verb itself. "I withdrawalled my money from the account."?

Yeah, I'm also not asking about pronunciation, nor do I see a problem with pronouncing it "with-drawl" that's how everyone I've ever heard say it pronounces it.

But how on earth are people using withdrawal as a verb when withdraw is already a verb??

They pronounce withdraw and withdrawal the same way. I think they probably realize there are two different words so its just a pronunciation thing. I have also heard "withdrawaling" from college educated people as in "the patient in room 10 is withdrawaling from heroin" . Same region where "crayon" and "crown" sound the same.

[Davnasty]

I think it's been mentioned before, but using "no" when you really mean "yes" is bothering me lately.  It's funny because I think before I've understood that it *felt* right even if there technically wasn't anything being negated.  But recently there was a use of it that made me wonder if I'm getting old and I've un-accepted something I've previously been willing to roll with, or if this use was just so egregious that it doesn't work, while other uses have some subtlety or nuance about them, which I can't articulate, that makes them different and more ok.

This instance was on a podcast and the podcast host was asking the interviewee something to the effect of, "Well, isn't it true that....(something that is true)" and the interviewee responded, "No, that's exactly right."

I don't know.  Do others here have a sense of times it makes more sense to use a negative even when you're not negating anything and when it's not and goes too far?  Does it seem like the sentence above is not going too far to anyone? (Admittedly, hearing it makes a big difference...I think the interviewee sort of paused after saying no, but before the rest of the sentence and I thought they were actually disagreeing about the thing for a moment.)

In this particular case, perhaps the use of "isn't" threw them off a bit?

If the interviewer had asked "Well, is it true that....(something that is true)" maybe the interviewee would have responded, "Yes, that's exactly right."

In either case I think "Yes" would have been the better word choice but it's admittedly weird that is and isn't mean the same thing in this instance. (Mostly the same. Using isn't rather than is usually makes it less of a question and more of a lead in.)

[sui generis]

I think it's been mentioned before, but using "no" when you really mean "yes" is bothering me lately.  It's funny because I think before I've understood that it *felt* right even if there technically wasn't anything being negated.  But recently there was a use of it that made me wonder if I'm getting old and I've un-accepted something I've previously been willing to roll with, or if this use was just so egregious that it doesn't work, while other uses have some subtlety or nuance about them, which I can't articulate, that makes them different and more ok.

This instance was on a podcast and the podcast host was asking the interviewee something to the effect of, "Well, isn't it true that....(something that is true)" and the interviewee responded, "No, that's exactly right."

I don't know.  Do others here have a sense of times it makes more sense to use a negative even when you're not negating anything and when it's not and goes too far?  Does it seem like the sentence above is not going too far to anyone? (Admittedly, hearing it makes a big difference...I think the interviewee sort of paused after saying no, but before the rest of the sentence and I thought they were actually disagreeing about the thing for a moment.)

In this particular case, perhaps the use of "isn't" threw them off a bit?

If the interviewer had asked "Well, is it true that....(something that is true)" maybe the interviewee would have responded, "Yes, that's exactly right."

In either case I think "Yes" would have been the better word choice but it's admittedly weird that is and isn't mean the same thing in this instance. (Mostly the same. Using isn't rather than is usually makes it less of a question and more of a lead in.)

Interesting thought!  Yes, I wonder if that could have something to do with it.

Also the isn't vs. is construction, now that you point it out, is interesting as well.  The interviewer is a lawyer and that construction seems very cross-examine-y to me, although in this case the interviewee was not a "hostile witness" at all.

[zolotiyeruki]

Withdrawal (as a verb)

For me, it's when someone adds a uncalled-for s, as in "going through withdrawals." Argh!

[Tigerpine]

Over the last decade I've noticed the word "investment" applied to anything and everything that people pay for, including insurance, expensive tools, home improvements and even vacations. Typically it seems like a marketing ploy to make people feel like they are making a smart decision by trading their money for "X".

It is beyond doubt a marketing strategy, and I also find it less than amusing.

Similarly, I hate it when a company tells you "Congratulations!" after you make a purchase.  I'm sure they do that to make you feel better about your choice, but I think that secretly the only real congratulations go to the salesperson who made the sale.

I was surprised and a little taken aback at the number of people who said "congratulations!" to us each time we've purchased a home. 
I don't know why taking out a mortgage for a home is reason to congratulate someone. But it seems to be the de-facto response whenever someone learns we bought (and are not renting) our home.

When you truly own your home (not sharing co-ownership with the bank) we will all say "Congratulations" to you.  Because it may or may not be a rewarding financial investment, but it is an investment in so many other aspects of your lives. Right now any congratulation are just for saving up enough for a down payment.  Hmm, actually that is something worth congratulating you for, you have managed to show the commitment to get that savings.

Hmm, some things are investments, in that in the long run they may make or save money.  And I am firmly convinced that we need to compare apples to apples.  If I garden and someone says my tomatoes cost $.xx each, my reaction is to say $.xx is the store price for ordinary tomatoes.  What is the price for organic tomatoes, since my tomatoes are organic and I know exactly what was involved in their growing.  Or if someone buys a freezer (an upfront cost) but over the next 10 years they save a bundle by freezing things bought on sale (i.e. produce at its peak, meat on sale, etc.) then it would be an investment.  I invested in equipment for canning, because I just can't buy relish as yummy as the relish I make.  I don't even care if I am saving money (I am), I care about the quality I can get by making my own.

However, coming back on topic, most congratulations seem to be for things that won't show that kind of return.  Because they are fun or flashy or improve one's image, not because they are truly useful.

I recently said congratulations to an old lady (in her 90's) who just sold her house recently.  I thought that genuinely deserved congratulations.

[slackmax]

May have mentioned thine before, but it still bugs me, and it hasn't gone away!

It is 'partner', used to refer to one's 'significant other' (I don't mind 'significant other', by the way, for some reason, ha ha).

Ex.   "Joe and his partner went swimming. " 

Hmmmm. I wonder if Joe's partner is a guy, a girl, an animal, a robot? Am I not supposed to need that information? Is it none of my business?   

[BlueHouse]

Withdrawal (as a verb)

yep.  I don't think some have seen/heard the difference between withdraw / withdrawal

I also get the impression that bad/worse/worst is no longer taught although no one seems to have much trouble with good/better/best

[Metalcat]

May have mentioned thine before, but it still bugs me, and it hasn't gone away!

It is 'partner', used to refer to one's 'significant other' (I don't mind 'significant other', by the way, for some reason, ha ha).

Ex.   "Joe and his partner went swimming. " 

Hmmmm. I wonder if Joe's partner is a guy, a girl, an animal, a robot? Am I not supposed to need that information? Is it none of my business?   

I don't think I'm quite understanding.

You don't like "partner" because it doesn't convey the gender of the person's spouse? But you're okay with "significant other?" What about spouse?

I go out of my way to use gender neutral language because it's the only option for gay people to not out themselves in casual conversation, and the more straight people who do the same, the more ambiguous the term "partner" becomes instead of automatically making people assume "gay partner."

To me, it's also no one's damn business what my spouse's genitals are.

[Dollar Slice]

It is 'partner', used to refer to one's 'significant other'

I usually use partner when it's an older person who is in a serious relationship but not married. Like my friends who are late 60s/early 70s and living together for 10 years, it feels weirdly childish to call them "girlfriend" and "boyfriend."

[Kris]

May have mentioned thine before, but it still bugs me, and it hasn't gone away!

It is 'partner', used to refer to one's 'significant other' (I don't mind 'significant other', by the way, for some reason, ha ha).

Ex.   "Joe and his partner went swimming. " 

Hmmmm. I wonder if Joe's partner is a guy, a girl, an animal, a robot? Am I not supposed to need that information? Is it none of my business?   

It’s extremely weird to me how some people need to know whether my partner has a dick and balls or a vagina.

Like…

Maybe back off?

[GuitarStv]

Maybe we should just tag it into our signatures to avoid confusion.

GuitarStv - he/him/his - dick n'balls (personal) - vagina (partner) - shaven legs (cycling) - guitarded but basscurious

[FIRE Artist]

It is 'partner', used to refer to one's 'significant other'

I usually use partner when it's an older person who is in a serious relationship but not married. Like my friends who are late 60s/early 70s and living together for 10 years, it feels weirdly childish to call them "girlfriend" and "boyfriend."

Nothing about “partner” means in particular an older couple to me, it is also used by the overwhelmingly large trend of young couples cohabitating prior to or in lieu of marriage.  When older couples don’t and sometimes do live together, I often hear that generation refer to that as their “special friend”, companion etc.  Partner is a Gen X and younger thing in my circle. 

Either way, I don’t get why anyone would rail against a word that acknowledges partnership/equality instead of ownership/power imbalance in a relationship, no matter what genders are involved, and whether or not a legal piece of paper exists.  I think it is a fantastic term and 100% support its use in all contexts young or old.     

[Dee]

Personally, I don't like "partner" because of the ambiguity between "business partner" or "my partner for this specific project" (like a travel partner or a tennis partner) vs. "my significant other" or "spouse". (That doesn't mean I wish the term partner would go away -- it's just not a term I really like.) I do like spouse and that's what I use in referring to person I cohabitate with in a conjugal relationship. Because "person I cohabitate with in a conjugal relationship" is just too much of a mouthful!

[dignam]

Maybe we should just tag it into our signatures to avoid confusion.

GuitarStv - he/him/his - dick n'balls (personal) - vagina (partner) - shaven legs (cycling) - guitarded but basscurious

LOL

re: partner.  My "partner" and I have been together about 6 years now, living together most of it.  We aren't married but it feels a little weird to call each other boyfriend/girlfriend at this point.  My closest friends will sometimes refer to her as "the lady" or "the wife" (like "the wife going to join us?") but would never say to me "your wife".  I probably use partner or significant other mostly.

[Dollar Slice]

Nothing about “partner” means in particular an older couple to me, it is also used by the overwhelmingly large trend of young couples cohabitating prior to or in lieu of marriage.  When older couples don’t and sometimes do live together, I often hear that generation refer to that as their “special friend”, companion etc.  Partner is a Gen X and younger thing in my circle. 

Well, I'm Gen X, so there you go. What word is better than partner if boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't sound right? I don't particularly like it - it's kind of an ugly word - but I don't think anything else works in casual conversation. "Let me introduce you to my friend, Bob, and his partner, Jane." I'm pretty sure those friends I mentioned use the word partner, too - I can't remember ever hearing them use "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" and we've known each other for years.

Now, "special friend" is a phrase I wish would go away... it sounds like a really creepy euphemism to me that only bad people would use. (I know nice people use it. But that's what it conjures up in my mind.)

[Tyson]

Partner is fine but maybe a little awkward.  I also like "SO" short for significant other. 

[Metalcat]

Partner is fine but maybe a little awkward.  I also like "SO" short for significant other.

But why is "partner" considered "awkward?"

The only reason I can think of is because it's so commonly associated with homosexuality, so when someone says it, the listener can't just default to hetero assumptions.

If you have another reason why it would be awkward, I'm totally open to hearing it.

[zolotiyeruki]

Partner is fine but maybe a little awkward.  I also like "SO" short for significant other.

But why is "partner" considered "awkward?"

The only reason I can think of is because it's so commonly associated with homosexuality, so when someone says it, the listener can't just default to hetero assumptions.

If you have another reason why it would be awkward, I'm totally open to hearing it.

Upthread a bit, it's mentioned that "partner" can be used in other contexts beyond an interpersonal relationship, for example a business partner. At least for me, the word "partner" has a stronger connection to a business relationship than a personal one, perhaps because it has been used in the context of business for far longer.

[Metalcat]

Partner is fine but maybe a little awkward.  I also like "SO" short for significant other.

But why is "partner" considered "awkward?"

The only reason I can think of is because it's so commonly associated with homosexuality, so when someone says it, the listener can't just default to hetero assumptions.

If you have another reason why it would be awkward, I'm totally open to hearing it.

Upthread a bit, it's mentioned that "partner" can be used in other contexts beyond an interpersonal relationship, for example a business partner. At least for me, the word "partner" has a stronger connection to a business relationship than a personal one, perhaps because it has been used in the context of business for far longer.

True, but it's a very, very rare context where someone is talking about a business partner and it's ambiguous if they mean their spouse. Or the person usually specifies "business partner" when the context is ambiguous.

It doesn't take much context to clarify in those cases. So I'm still not quite getting how it's "awkward" for anyone. Ambiguous? Perhaps, but I don't get how ambiguity necessarily creates awkwardness.

We tolerate an enormous amount of ambiguity in other relational terms. The word "friend" is about obtuse as they come. It can mean someone so precious you would donate body parts to them without question, or someone you haven't seen in years, or a work acquaintance you occasionally joke with, or a friend of a friend you don't even like.

And yet we all handle that ambiguity in conversation without finding it awkward by relying on the details of the conversation.

But I do appreciate the feedback.

[Tyson]

Partner is fine but maybe a little awkward.  I also like "SO" short for significant other.

But why is "partner" considered "awkward?"

The only reason I can think of is because it's so commonly associated with homosexuality, so when someone says it, the listener can't just default to hetero assumptions.

If you have another reason why it would be awkward, I'm totally open to hearing it.

Upthread a bit, it's mentioned that "partner" can be used in other contexts beyond an interpersonal relationship, for example a business partner. At least for me, the word "partner" has a stronger connection to a business relationship than a personal one, perhaps because it has been used in the context of business for far longer.

True, but it's a very, very rare context where someone is talking about a business partner and it's ambiguous if they mean their spouse. Or the person usually specifies "business partner" when the context is ambiguous.

It doesn't take much context to clarify in those cases. So I'm still not quite getting how it's "awkward" for anyone. Ambiguous? Perhaps, but I don't get how ambiguity necessarily creates awkwardness.

We tolerate an enormous amount of ambiguity in other relational terms. The word "friend" is about obtuse as they come. It can mean someone so precious you would donate body parts to them without question, or someone you haven't seen in years, or a work acquaintance you occasionally joke with, or a friend of a friend you don't even like.

And yet we all handle that ambiguity in conversation without finding it awkward by relying on the details of the conversation.

But I do appreciate the feedback.

Like I said, I'm fine with partner, it's certainly used enough in my circles to be pretty commonplace and I got used to it a while back. 

Re: why might some people find it awkward?  If someone says 'she's my partner', it's not clear if it's a personal relationship of a professional one.  That's all. 

[slackmax]

I suppose I'm a bit too idealistic, but I would think a gay man married to another man would be proud to refer to him as a husband, without needing to hide anything. Same logic for lesbians. 'Meet my gorgeous wife, Sally'.

I see it on game shows on TV a lot. The contestant  is introducing him or herself and mentions a husband or wife back home, which clearly indicates homosexuality, and there is no gasp from the audience.   

[Metalcat]

I suppose I'm a bit too idealistic, but I would think a gay man married to another man would be proud to refer to him as a husband, without needing to hide anything. Same logic for lesbians. 'Meet my gorgeous wife, Sally'.

I see it on game shows on TV a lot. The contestant  is introducing him or herself and mentions a husband or wife back home, which clearly indicates homosexuality, and there is no gasp from the audience.   

I...uh...I'm going to leave this for someone else to handle.

But yes, you are definitely missing something.

[HPstache]

Has this one been mentioned yet:

"I was today years old when I discovered..."

Annoying AF.

[Metalcat]

Has this one been mentioned yet:

"I was today years old when I discovered..."

Annoying AF.

Yeah, I didn't mind it at first, but it's past it's expiry date IMO

[RWD]

Has this one been mentioned yet:

"I was today years old when I discovered..."

Annoying AF.

Yeah, I didn't mind it at first, but it's past it's expiry date IMO

It's now self-describing!

[FIRE Artist]

I suppose I'm a bit too idealistic, but I would think a gay man married to another man would be proud to refer to him as a husband, without needing to hide anything. Same logic for lesbians. 'Meet my gorgeous wife, Sally'.

I see it on game shows on TV a lot. The contestant  is introducing him or herself and mentions a husband or wife back home, which clearly indicates homosexuality, and there is no gasp from the audience.   

I...uh...I'm going to leave this for someone else to handle.

But yes, you are definitely missing something.

Because many couples who cohabitate are not married so wouldn’t use terms like husband and wife to refer to their significant other?  And people in committed cohabitation relationships typically abandon the terms boyfriend/girlfriend as for many, many people that implies a dating relationship, not a deep commitment which comes with sharing households and often finances or even children. And some people who are married do not hold with the Christian idea of marriage and feel that partnership better defines their legal union.   

I don’t think any of this has anything to do with hiding one’s orientation or relationship status, but even if it were, I don’t think it is anyone’s business to know the coupling details of casual acquaintances. 

[Metalcat]

I suppose I'm a bit too idealistic, but I would think a gay man married to another man would be proud to refer to him as a husband, without needing to hide anything. Same logic for lesbians. 'Meet my gorgeous wife, Sally'.

I see it on game shows on TV a lot. The contestant  is introducing him or herself and mentions a husband or wife back home, which clearly indicates homosexuality, and there is no gasp from the audience.   

I...uh...I'm going to leave this for someone else to handle.

But yes, you are definitely missing something.

Because many couples who cohabitate are not married so wouldn’t use terms like husband and wife to refer to their significant other?  And people in committed cohabitation relationships typically abandon the terms boyfriend/girlfriend as for many, many people that implies a dating relationship, not a deep commitment which comes with sharing households and often finances or even children. And some people who are married do not hold with the Christian idea of marriage and feel that partnership better defines their legal union.   

I don’t think any of this has anything to do with hiding one’s orientation or relationship status, but even if it were, I don’t think it is anyone’s business to know the coupling details of casual acquaintances.

I think they were responding to my previous comment about people not necessarily wanting to out themselves in casual conversation.

I wasn't implying that people necessarily don't want to out themselves, just that they often want some control over how and when they do so, especially with new people.

Just because a game show audience doesn't gasp doesn't mean there isn't very, very real risk.

[teen persuasion]

To me, the different terms have differing connotations:

Wife/husband/spouse all imply romantic relationship + married.

Significant other implies romantic relationship, official marriage status ambiguous, but essentially equivalent level of commitment.

Boyfriend/girlfriend may be a dating relationship, may be more serious, but definitely unmarried.

Partner is ambiguous on romantic vs other type of relationship, like business, and requires modification or context to clarify.  Also ambiguous on marriage status, if applied to romantic relationships.


So partner feels the most ambiguous, which may be a plus if deliberate ambiguity is the goal.  It has few connotations of gender, unlike many of the other choices.

[Kris]

To me, the different terms have differing connotations:

Wife/husband/spouse all imply romantic relationship + married.

Significant other implies romantic relationship, official marriage status ambiguous, but essentially equivalent level of commitment.

Boyfriend/girlfriend may be a dating relationship, may be more serious, but definitely unmarried.

Partner is ambiguous on romantic vs other type of relationship, like business, and requires modification or context to clarify.  Also ambiguous on marriage status, if applied to romantic relationships.


So partner feels the most ambiguous, which may be a plus if deliberate ambiguity is the goal.  It has few connotations of gender, unlike many of the other choices.

Significant other sounds a lot more ambiguous to me in terms of seriousness of the relationship, plus it sounds really clinical.

Partner sounds more permanent. And like a relationship between equals

Boyfriend and girlfriend are weird past a certain age.

If I was not married, but in an enduring relationship, I’m pretty sure I’d use partner.

[Paul der Krake]

I have a coworker who says partner, even though she's married and could say spouse. I don't know for sure why it sounds weird, but it does.

I don't have a better word to offer.

[Dancin'Dog]

Cowboys seemed to call everybody partner.  "Howdy partner." 

[Tyson]

I wonder if adding something to "partner" would clear things up.  Maybe something like 'life partner', to distinguish it from 'business partner'. 

[BlueHouse]

Penultimate

 Not only have I always had trouble with this word, but when I see others use it I always wonder if they really know the meaning of the word worth or using it incorrectly.

[Josiecat22222]

Patriot.  I have no issue with the word itself, but I take offense to how it has been co-opted politically.

[BussoV6]

Time to worry is when you are referred to as the "current husband/wife".

[merula]

Penultimate

 Not only have I always had trouble with this word, but when I see others use it I always wonder if they really know the meaning of the word worth or using it incorrectly.

Interesting! I love this word and will use it in mundane situations like "I've taken the penultimate ice cream sandwich".

How are you hearing it used?

[GuitarStv]

Penultimate

 Not only have I always had trouble with this word, but when I see others use it I always wonder if they really know the meaning of the word worth or using it incorrectly.

Interesting! I love this word and will use it in mundane situations like "I've taken the penultimate ice cream sandwich".

How are you hearing it used?

I will admit to believing that penultimate meant 'best' rather than 'second last' for a very long time, and probably used it that way a few times.

[Metalcat]

Penultimate

 Not only have I always had trouble with this word, but when I see others use it I always wonder if they really know the meaning of the word worth or using it incorrectly.

Interesting! I love this word and will use it in mundane situations like "I've taken the penultimate ice cream sandwich".

How are you hearing it used?

I will admit to believing that penultimate meant 'best' rather than 'second last' for a very long time, and probably used it that way a few times.

Yep, I would say that about 80% of the people I've heard use this term use it to mean "ultimate" as in "the best."

I had one acquaintance who used it all the time with a massive emphasis on the "PEN" part, as if that was what emphasized just how "ultimate" the object of her positive appraisal was.

[Kris]

Penultimate

 Not only have I always had trouble with this word, but when I see others use it I always wonder if they really know the meaning of the word worth or using it incorrectly.

Interesting! I love this word and will use it in mundane situations like "I've taken the penultimate ice cream sandwich".

How are you hearing it used?

I will admit to believing that penultimate meant 'best' rather than 'second last' for a very long time, and probably used it that way a few times.

Yep, I would say that about 80% of the people I've heard use this term use it to mean "ultimate" as in "the best."

I had one acquaintance who used it all the time with a massive emphasis on the "PEN" part, as if that was what emphasized just how "ultimate" the object of her positive appraisal was.

Huh. This is so weird. I'm not sure I've ever heard it used incorrectly.

[Metalcat]

Penultimate

 Not only have I always had trouble with this word, but when I see others use it I always wonder if they really know the meaning of the word worth or using it incorrectly.

Interesting! I love this word and will use it in mundane situations like "I've taken the penultimate ice cream sandwich".

How are you hearing it used?

I will admit to believing that penultimate meant 'best' rather than 'second last' for a very long time, and probably used it that way a few times.

Yep, I would say that about 80% of the people I've heard use this term use it to mean "ultimate" as in "the best."

I had one acquaintance who used it all the time with a massive emphasis on the "PEN" part, as if that was what emphasized just how "ultimate" the object of her positive appraisal was.

Huh. This is so weird. I'm not sure I've ever heard it used incorrectly.

To be fair, almost every instance I've ever heard someone use the word was in high school, and the acquaintance I mentioned was class president, so I'm pretty sure she's the one who infected everyone else with the incorrect usage.

Otherwise, I just don't think I've heard the word spoken much since then.

[Dicey]

Penultimate

 Not only have I always had trouble with this word, but when I see others use it I always wonder if they really know the meaning of the word worth or using it incorrectly.

Interesting! I love this word and will use it in mundane situations like "I've taken the penultimate ice cream sandwich".

How are you hearing it used?

I will admit to believing that penultimate meant 'best' rather than 'second last' for a very long time, and probably used it that way a few times.

Yep, I would say that about 80% of the people I've heard use this term use it to mean "ultimate" as in "the best."

I had one acquaintance who used it all the time with a massive emphasis on the "PEN" part, as if that was what emphasized just how "ultimate" the object of her positive appraisal was.

Huh. This is so weird. I'm not sure I've ever heard it used incorrectly.

Ha! I have a supersmart friend. So smart, he got his MBA and his JD from two top universities in three years concurrently, by cobbling together his own program. That's some seriously creative DIY. He always thought this word meant the opposite until someone called him out early in his career. I always smile inwardly and think of him (and his wildly successful career) when I hear this word.

[Taran Wanderer]

Brings back memories of college track. The penultimate step in your high jump approach is critical to set up the final step / jump.

[Kris]

Penultimate

 Not only have I always had trouble with this word, but when I see others use it I always wonder if they really know the meaning of the word worth or using it incorrectly.

Interesting! I love this word and will use it in mundane situations like "I've taken the penultimate ice cream sandwich".

How are you hearing it used?

I will admit to believing that penultimate meant 'best' rather than 'second last' for a very long time, and probably used it that way a few times.

Yep, I would say that about 80% of the people I've heard use this term use it to mean "ultimate" as in "the best."

I had one acquaintance who used it all the time with a massive emphasis on the "PEN" part, as if that was what emphasized just how "ultimate" the object of her positive appraisal was.

Huh. This is so weird. I'm not sure I've ever heard it used incorrectly.

Ha! I have a supersmart friend. So smart, he got his MBA and his JD from two top universities in three years concurrently, by cobbling together his own program. That's some seriously creative DIY. He always thought this word meant the opposite until someone called him out early in his career. I always smile inwardly and think of him (and his wildly successful career) when I hear this word.

Speaking of thinking that a word means the opposite, "nonplussed" is one of the biggest examples I can think of it. Almost always when I hear it used in the wild, people mean "unaffected" or "underwhelmed."

[Taran Wanderer]

Plinth. Brings back negative flashbacks from past work and stubborn, greedy vendor reps. Plus it just sounds weird.

[Kris]

Brings back memories of college track. The penultimate step in your high jump approach is critical to set up the final step / jump.

Small tangent:

There is a cocktail made with gin and green Chartreuse called a "Last Word." DH, who loves his cocktails, made a variation on it using yellow Chartreuse. He calls it the "Penultimate Word."