What is the weirdest thing that you had to do at work?

[Bateaux]

All of you are freaks And I love you.

[sixwings]

I had a friend working for my provinces consumer protection agency and he had to watch porn movies to make sure there wasn't beastiality, child porn, etc. in it. 8 hours a day, nothing but porn, for 4 months.

It actually really screwed his relationships up for a while.

It also made me realize that was a job, I had never really considered how oversight agencies ensured that porn followed the law.

[rocketpj]

Spent a few summers as an 'observer' and collecting biological samples on factory fishing ships in the Pacific.  A few things became normal for me.
- First ship, where I spent just under 4 months, had untold numbers of cockroaches.  You could not put food down or it would be crawling with them in moments.  We got a couple litres of orange juice each week, and if I opened it I had to make sure to tape it shut before I looked away, or there would be roaches in it (or I'd think there were, which was enough for the toss.

- I sat at the Captain's table for meals.  He didn't make it to a single meal, but the Chief Engineer sat across from me 3 meals/day for 4 months.  He was an old Russian guy.  Not one of those meals did he make eye contact or even acknowledge that I was there, 3 feet directly in front of him.  Probably 350 meals, 350 hours of total silence.  About 30 days in I realized that he also did not eat a single vegetable, not even one potatoes, not even once.  I think that qualifies as weird.

On the upside, I brought out about 100 books each summer and worked my way through them.

Now I work in a no-barrier homeless shelter, and quiet days are the weird ones. 

[DoubleDown]

After only one week on the job working in intelligence, I was given the task of quietly carrying over $1 million cash to a country I was traveling to the next day.

Pro Tip: Over $1M in cash is HEAVY -- at least 30 lbs I'd guess for the box I was carrying.

For that entire day and the next day, I had the cash in my control, and it was so frightening -- what if I forget it when I go to the bathroom at work or at the airport? What if someone breaks into my house and steals it before I fly out the next day? Small chance, but who would believe THAT if it happened?! What if I forget it in the cab when I get dropped off at the airport? What if I forget to pick it back up after going through all the airport ticketing stuff? You have to set it down at some point, and it was always unsettling doing so.

The trip itself was a heady experience -- I'd just flash my credentials to bypass all airport and other security both in the U.S. and the country I traveled to. No X-rays, no patting me down, nothing -- just walk around it all with a wave. My friends on the job all joked they'd never see me again, since I was being sent by myself with $1M+, guns, a special passport, and a plane ticket to a non-extraditing country. They figured I'd be "retired" at age 28 at some island resort.

[GuitarStv]

After only one week on the job working in intelligence, I was given the task of quietly carrying over $1 million cash to a country I was traveling to the next day.

Pro Tip: Over $1M in cash is HEAVY -- at least 30 lbs I'd guess for the box I was carrying.

For that entire day and the next day, I had the cash in my control, and it was so frightening -- what if I forget it when I go to the bathroom at work or at the airport? What if someone breaks into my house and steals it before I fly out the next day? Small chance, but who would believe THAT if it happened?! What if I forget it in the cab when I get dropped off at the airport? What if I forget to pick it back up after going through all the airport ticketing stuff? You have to set it down at some point, and it was always unsettling doing so.

The trip itself was a heady experience -- I'd just flash my credentials to bypass all airport and other security both in the U.S. and the country I traveled to. No X-rays, no patting me down, nothing -- just walk around it all with a wave. My friends on the job all joked they'd never see me again, since I was being sent by myself with $1M+, guns, a special passport, and a plane ticket to a non-extraditing country. They figured I'd be "retired" at age 28 at some island resort.

People are weird about money.  When I was in my early 20s I wanted to switch a large chunk of money (60,000$) from one bank that I was using to another.  So I phoned up bank A, and said that I'd like to transfer it.

And bank A said,"No problem, the fee for transferring that money to another bank is 40$".

I said "Fuck that.  What's the fee if I withdraw the same amount of money."

"Well, zero dollars.  But we don't keep that kind of cash on hand.  You would have to wait three weeks."

So I was like "Sure, whatever."

Went in three weeks later on the date they told me.  There were four visible security guards in the bank when I arrived.  So I got my 60,000$ from the bank (they let me come behind the counter to the vault), and it was pretty clear that everyone thought my 23 year old ass was dealing drugs or pimping.  Anyhoo, I stuffed it all in my beaten up backpack, hopped on my trusty bike, biked over to bank B and handed it over to the cashier in Bank B to deposit.  I wasn't nervous at all, but every person I interacted with in both banks was acting really, really strange.

Why bank A never let me waive the transfer fee, I'll never know.  Must have cost 'em more than that to have the money shipped in and to hire the extra security.  So weird.

[robartsd]

After only one week on the job working in intelligence, I was given the task of quietly carrying over $1 million cash to a country I was traveling to the next day.

...

My friends on the job all joked they'd never see me again, since I was being sent by myself with $1M+, guns, a special passport, and a plane ticket to a non-extraditing country. They figured I'd be "retired" at age 28 at some island resort.

How many of these friends spent so little that $1 million cash would last the rest of their lives? I imagine extra costs associated with investing funds as a fugitive of the U.S. mean you can throw the 4% rule out the window.

People are weird about money.  When I was in my early 20s I wanted to switch a large chunk of money (60,000$) from one bank that I was using to another.  So I phoned up bank A, and said that I'd like to transfer it.

And bank A said,"No problem, the fee for transferring that money to another bank is 40$".

I said "Fuck that.  What's the fee if I withdraw the same amount of money."

"Well, zero dollars.  But we don't keep that kind of cash on hand.  You would have to wait three weeks."

So I was like "Sure, whatever."

Went in three weeks later on the date they told me.  There were four visible security guards in the bank when I arrived.  So I got my 60,000$ from the bank (they let me come behind the counter to the vault), and it was pretty clear that everyone thought my 23 year old ass was dealing drugs or pimping.  Anyhoo, I stuffed it all in my beaten up backpack, hopped on my trusty bike, biked over to bank B and handed it over to the cashier in Bank B to deposit.  I wasn't nervous at all, but every person I interacted with in both banks was acting really, really strange.

Why bank A never let me waive the transfer fee, I'll never know.  Must have cost 'em more than that to have the money shipped in and to hire the extra security.  So weird.

$60,000 on my person would make me uncomfortable. I don't think I've ever had more than $30,000 in total liquid assets (though it would be easy to liquidate more than that and have it in the bank account of my choosing within 3 weeks).

I'm glad I've always been able to find a way to transfer funds for free. Yes, bank A may charge a transfer fee to push the money to bank B, but bank B rarely has any problem pulling the money from bank A for free. The funds aren't available at bank B for a few days while they make sure the transaction clears properly (if the funds are pushed they are usually availible by the next business day). Even without electronic transfers, if the funds are in a checking account, you could just write a check and deposit it at bank B.

[GuitarStv]

Yes, bank A may charge a transfer fee to push the money to bank B, but bank B rarely has any problem pulling the money from bank A for free. The funds aren't available at bank B for a few days while they make sure the transaction clears properly (if the funds are pushed they are usually availible by the next business day). Even without electronic transfers, if the funds are in a checking account, you could just write a check and deposit it at bank B.

Bank A also charged 25$ for cheque books . . . so although I did have a chequing account, I had no way to write a cheque.

It may have been possible to get bank B to pay for the transfer fee . . . but honestly bank fees have always pissed me off.  Fuck bank A in principle.  If they want to spend way more money by making me withdraw my cash in person I'll take that option every single time.

[markbike528CBX]

After only one week on the job working in intelligence, I was given the task of quietly carrying over $1 million cash to a country I was traveling to the next day.

Pro Tip: Over $1M in cash is HEAVY -- at least 30 lbs I'd guess for the box I was carrying.

For that entire day and the next day, I had the cash in my control, and it was so frightening -- what if I forget it when I go to the bathroom at work or at the airport? What if someone breaks into my house and steals it before I fly out the next day? Small chance, but who would believe THAT if it happened?! What if I forget it in the cab when I get dropped off at the airport? What if I forget to pick it back up after going through all the airport ticketing stuff? You have to set it down at some point, and it was always unsettling doing so.

The trip itself was a heady experience -- I'd just flash my credentials to bypass all airport and other security both in the U.S. and the country I traveled to. No X-rays, no patting me down, nothing -- just walk around it all with a wave. My friends on the job all joked they'd never see me again, since I was being sent by myself with $1M+, guns, a special passport, and a plane ticket to a non-extraditing country. They figured I'd be "retired" at age 28 at some island resort.

People are weird about money.  When I was in my early 20s I wanted to switch a large chunk of money (60,000$) from one bank that I was using to another.  So I phoned up bank A, and said that I'd like to transfer it.

And bank A said,"No problem, the fee for transferring that money to another bank is 40$".

I said "Fuck that.  What's the fee if I withdraw the same amount of money."

"Well, zero dollars.  But we don't keep that kind of cash on hand.  You would have to wait three weeks."

So I was like "Sure, whatever."

Went in three weeks later on the date they told me.  There were four visible security guards in the bank when I arrived.  So I got my 60,000$ from the bank (they let me come behind the counter to the vault), and it was pretty clear that everyone thought my 23 year old ass was dealing drugs or pimping.  Anyhoo, I stuffed it all in my beaten up backpack, hopped on my trusty bike, biked over to bank B and handed it over to the cashier in Bank B to deposit.  I wasn't nervous at all, but every person I interacted with in both banks was acting really, really strange.

Why bank A never let me waive the transfer fee, I'll never know.  Must have cost 'em more than that to have the money shipped in and to hire the extra security.  So weird.

To keep this on topic, I guess I'll have to tell the story from the bank teller's perspective.

"Younger guy in his thirties, dressed in a black leather bike jacket, kinda scruffy, deposits about $4 in pennies to account.  Account has over $100K in it!  Scruffy biker says he wants to withdraw using a cashier's check.  I ask how much? He says 100grand. I think I forgot to ask for a photo ID. The bank account card is just a paper with the account number on it.  I get the cashier check and away he goes.  I didn't ask why or try to upsell him or even get my boss... donno why not.  I mean who has that sort of money in their thirties?"

I still regret not getting it in cash ( it was going to a credit union down the street, as I recall).

[BlueHouse]

$60,000 on my person would make me uncomfortable. I don't think I've ever had more than $30,000 in total liquid assets (though it would be easy to liquidate more than that and have it in the bank account of my choosing within 3 weeks).

About 15 years ago, I sold a car for $5000 cash.  I asked a friend to go with me for safety.  I asked if I would need to bring a bag to hold all the cash.  Imagine my disappointment when it fit in my front pocket.  :( 

[Just Joe]

I had a friend working for my provinces consumer protection agency and he had to watch porn movies to make sure there wasn't beastiality, child porn, etc. in it. 8 hours a day, nothing but porn, for 4 months.

It actually really screwed his relationships up for a while.

It also made me realize that was a job, I had never really considered how oversight agencies ensured that porn followed the law.

Can't imagine that it is well regulated in 2020 with all the internet outlets domestic and international.

Spent several years in the military. Weird stuff happened from time to time. Mostly from fatigue and people living too close to together. Never in a war zone thankfully. I've witnessed people under extreme stress, the effects of exhaustion, alcohol and drugs. Pretty eye opening for this formerly sheltered kid.

Took a job as an engineer. My supervisor was not well organized and from time to time would run out of project money leading him to double book our team's hotel rooms meaning he expected us to bunk with each other or him. Share beds. Men with men, women with women. Uh no thanks - I barely like being around people at work chit-chatting let alone sharing beds with them. I can be pretty introverted. Even the military gave me a narrow bed to myself. So, anytime we traveled (always by vehicle) I brought along my camping gear - sleeping bag, inflatable mat and maybe a pillow.  I'll take the floor nearest the a/c unit thanks...

At a previous engineering job we had a supervisor that used to regularly flip out. Literally beating his head against the wall or flopping around on the floor when we couldn't handle the stress - often self-inflicted - anymore. Eventually the bosses got tired of the drama and downgraded his role to plain engineer - which he was marginal at too. I wonder if it was a nepotism situation. Basically couldn't fire him.

[ketchup]

$60,000 on my person would make me uncomfortable. I don't think I've ever had more than $30,000 in total liquid assets (though it would be easy to liquidate more than that and have it in the bank account of my choosing within 3 weeks).

About 15 years ago, I sold a car for $5000 cash.  I asked a friend to go with me for safety.  I asked if I would need to bring a bag to hold all the cash.  Imagine my disappointment when it fit in my front pocket.  :(

I know a guy that sold a truck for $10k and was paid in all $10 bills.  As in 1,000 $10s.  He accepted it, but was convinced they were somehow fake or he was getting screwed in some way until he got to the bank to deposit them, but nope, all real.  I guess the buyer just liked $10 bills.

[oldladystache]

Back in the 1960s my parents sold their house to a nice man. They carried the mortgage of 80% and he paid the 20% down payment in cash, all $20 bills.

He made the monthly payments for a while, then suddenly stopped. He was in jail. For counterfeiting.

We assumed the bills he gave them were good, since they never heard anything about them. He must have traded his counterfeit ones for good ones.  They got their house back.

[Dicey]

Back in the 1960s my parents sold their house to a nice man. They carried the mortgage of 80% and he paid the 20% down payment in cash, all $20 bills.

He made the monthly payments for a while, then suddenly stopped. He was in jail. For counterfeiting.

We assumed the bills he gave them were good, since they never heard anything about them. He must have traded his counterfeit ones for good ones.  They got their house back.

That is a great story! I hope they sold it again for a bigger profit.

[oldladystache]

Back in the 1960s my parents sold their house to a nice man. They carried the mortgage of 80% and he paid the 20% down payment in cash, all $20 bills.

He made the monthly payments for a while, then suddenly stopped. He was in jail. For counterfeiting.

We assumed the bills he gave them were good, since they never heard anything about them. He must have traded his counterfeit ones for good ones.  They got their house back.

That is a great story! I hope they sold it again for a bigger profit.

They did sell it again but I don't remember what they got for it.

[GuitarStv]

Who carries sweaty foil wrapped packs of money in their backpacks on their bikes? Dealers? Tweakers? Hookers? Strippers? Robbers? @GuitarStv?  All of the above ;-).

I'll have you know that my sweaty bundles of cash on my bike were NOT foil wrapped.  They were loose in the backpack.  Who has money to waste on foil wrapping????

[Just Joe]

I'd worry SO much about keeping that much cash in my house. Fire, theft, stupidity, mice, dog, cats. ;)

Last house deal we did was scheduled with the lawyer such that we could go straight to the bank and deposit.

[RetiredAt63]

I'd worry SO much about keeping that much cash in my house. Fire, theft, stupidity, mice, dog, cats. ;)

Last house deal we did was scheduled with the lawyer such that we could go straight to the bank and deposit.

What happened to direct deposit?  Last property I sold, the notary did direct deposit.  When Ex did the final "trade house for money" settlement, the lawyer did direct deposit.  One in Quebec, one in Ontario, easy-peasy.

[geekette]

Ours was going to overnight the check to us (60 miles away) until we mentioned that there's a branch of our bank right close to his office.  He deposited it for us himself.

27 years ago when we bought this house, the seller took the check, stuck it in her bra, and drove north to her new home (NC TO NY).

[the_fixer]

When I was 14 my first real job was working on a shark fishing boat at sea for ~2 weeks to a month at a time.

My job was to stand in a large wooden box and jump on the back of sharks as they were pulled out of the water, stab them in the back of the head, cut off the tail and put them in the ice hold. The majority were still very much alive and ranged anywhere between 5ft and about 12ft.

I was a skinny scrawny little kid wearing shorts, white rubber boots and no shirt and the only advice I was given was to watch out for the head they like to swing around and will bite you so make sure you jump on them quick.

Looking back I think maybe my stepdad got the job for me hoping I would die.

Knowing what I know now I feel bad for doing that job :(

———
RE Porn

Later in life I worked in a bunch of data centers on the Server / storage / security side of things. We had 3 large customers that hosted adult content. One had little monitors 3” x 3” that would show a live feed of what the server was streaming so it was always in your face

Another one had a huge OPS area that had screens floor to ceiling that about had about 50 large monitors running that cycled through the feeds so they could monitor if a feed went down.

The last one was an actual production company and was sketch AF alway felt like I needed to shower after leaving that place.

Anyhow how we were reorganized and given a new upper manager, she was from a different state and very wholesome. Her first 2 customer visits to resolve some outstanding issues were with 2 of the porn companies.

We had a meet and greet with her the next day and she literally said WTF is wrong with you people in Colorado and told us about where she had to go. I bet to this day she thinks Colorado is nothing but data centers full of porn and pot shops.


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[markbike528CBX]

I told DW about this thread and she initially said that she had a pretty boring career and would have nothing to add. 

However, upon further reflection she had the following story.
Warning – she has had intense gag reflex responses to telling this story to male colleagues.

DW was working as a custodian (sanitary engineer) in a high school and received a notification, upon arrival to work one day, that one of the girls bathrooms smelled bad.  She did the ordinary investigation of the toilets and the sanitary napkin receptacles.  One of the sanitary napkin receptacles had a toilet paper wrapped turd. For her, the solution was easy, take the lid off the sanitary napkin receptacle, and dump the turd back in the toilet and flush it.  To her horror and dismay the turd did not flush. The Word is that the Turd was the circumference of a 16oz. can of corn. She wasn’t about to fish that Turd back out of the toilet. DW then ran to the school kitchen to grab a couple of plastic knives. DW then proceeded to go back to the bathroom to saw the Turd into flush-able chunks. Several trips out of the bathroom for fresh air were needed before the deed was done.

DW had a degree of PTSD associated with the bathroom after this incident.  She was afraid of what she might find next.  DW was also a substitute teacher at that school, and wondered during school interactions with students and staff as to who might be the source of the Turd.