Author Topic: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021  (Read 2381 times)

OzzieandHarriet

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Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« on: November 22, 2021, 09:16:07 AM »
Last year was easy - stay home.

This year ... we're supposed to go to DH's brother's place, which is local, about a 45-minute drive. If it was just BIL and SIL (they are both pretty careful and have been vaccinated), I wouldn't be that concerned, but their kids are also planning to be there, plus a fiancee, all flying in from other parts of the country. The son and fiancee actually both HAD covid in the past year. The son has a job that involves constant worldwide travel. The daughter has a job that puts her in contact with large groups of people on a regular basis. DH says he assumes they are vaccinated, but we don't know for sure. Also, I don't know if anyone else might be at this thing.

I brought this up with DH, and now he's mad at me. I have a lot of social anxiety so these family things are never easy for me anyway. The thought of spending 6 to 8 hours walled up with this group of people in these circumstances is making me even more nervous. I don't GAF about Thanksgiving to start with. I'm a vegetarian and always feel like a weirdo in other ways. I usually suck it up and go, but this time ...?

We've both been fully vaccinated and had boosters. I suppose if we both get sick from this, c'est la vie, and maybe it won't be that bad.

Anyway, is anyone else going through this sort of thing? Am I totally wrong, somewhat wrong, not at all wrong?

Kris

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2021, 09:35:45 AM »
We just canceled our Thanksgiving gathering. It was gonna be small anyway, but we're having a big Covid spike here, and honestly, it just seemed not worth it.

jrhampt

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2021, 10:00:06 AM »
I don't see why you should have to guess whether or not their kids are vaccinated.  I would ask if they are, and if they aren't, that would be a deal-breaker for me.  I would also want to know if anyone else will be there, and if so, whether they are vaccinated, too.  I recently did this when I was at my brother's house (visiting from out of state) and he sprung a surprise thanksgiving celebration on me.  I asked if everyone else was vaccinated because if the answer was no, I would not be attending.

We'll just be celebrating with my MIL and FIL this year.  The four of us are all vaccinated and have also all received our boosters.  Still double the size of our Thanksgiving last year when it was just the two of us.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2021, 10:02:31 AM by jrhampt »

Paper Chaser

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2021, 10:17:58 AM »
Since you're obviously concerned about this, I'd just stay away.

Personally, I trust the vaccines enough to take my chances regardless of other people's status. As long as nobody is obviously sick, we'll be treating it like a pretty normal year.

NotJen

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2021, 10:28:48 AM »
Planning a normal Thanksgiving this year.

Normal for me is a gathering of 11 people a 5 hour drive away (BF's family, we stay the weekend with his parents).  All adults are vaccinated (and possibly all boosted) but there are 2 unvaxxed kids under 5.

Personally, I trust the vaccines enough to take my chances regardless of other people's status. As long as nobody is obviously sick, we'll be treating it like a pretty normal year.

This is how I feel.  I was super careful before the vaccine, but I'm trying to be more normal now when it comes to interactions with friends and family.  I won't skip birthday or holiday celebrations like I did last year.

sonofsven

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2021, 10:38:10 AM »
It's a personal decision, for sure. Last year I stayed put (and loved it).
This year, I'm yolo'ing it. Fully vaxed and boosted and otherwise healthy, I don't really care about anyone else's status. I'm comfortable with the risk.

cool7hand

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2021, 11:01:12 AM »
For us, our desire for loving connection outweighs the risks, but you should make the decision that's right for you.

charis

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2021, 11:27:22 AM »
We are canning Thanksgiving this year because of two recent exposures and a family member currently in quarantine. But it's more about timing, if we weren't exposed or quarantined we would gather as usual because everyone is fully vaccinated, except the kids.

In any event, I'd be fine around others if I didn't have unvaccinated kids to worry about getting exposed to unvax relatives. Will be a non issue by Christmas for me.

Samuel

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2021, 11:35:00 AM »
We're doing a get together but my concerns are more about inadvertently bringing Covid than getting it there. We're all vaxed (old folks are boosted, kids are half vaxed at this point) so it's low risk all around but I would feel so bad if I was a vector.

I'm laying low on the socializing front for the week leading up to it and plan to take an OTC Covid test the morning of just to ease my mind.

PDXTabs

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2021, 11:35:42 AM »
I'm going to hang out with my kids and their mom and some of her family. Everyone, with the exception of one child, is fully vaccinated. I have three jabs. I'm more worried about getting hit by a drunk driver this weekend than catching COVID, personally.

PDXTabs

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2021, 11:43:40 AM »
I brought this up with DH, and now he's mad at me. I have a lot of social anxiety so these family things are never easy for me anyway. The thought of spending 6 to 8 hours walled up with this group of people in these circumstances is making me even more nervous. I don't GAF about Thanksgiving to start with. I'm a vegetarian and always feel like a weirdo in other ways. I usually suck it up and go, but this time ...?

I love Thanksgiving and my self with three jabs is happy to attend. But if you really don't want to go, I'm going to say don't go. Why spend one of your finite days on this planet doing something you really don't want to do?

MudPuppy

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2021, 11:44:50 AM »
I’m going. Spouse and I are vaccinated and I am already boosted. All the people who are there who want to be vaccinated are vaccinated except one, who has to wait another couple weeks (post antibody infusion). Several have had it this calendar year already. At this point, let them all give it to each other or not, I’m eating turkey and stuffing myself with sides.

Edit: it probably matters that while we will for sure have at least 15 people, no one would be coming from out of town.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2021, 04:50:01 PM by MudPuppy »

v8rx7guy

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2021, 12:04:29 PM »
Comfortable with the small risk regardless of the vaccination status of anyone I am eating/celebrating with.

spartana

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #13 on: November 22, 2021, 03:09:33 PM »
Not really doing anything with anyone but my sister and our BFs. Everyone fully vaxxed and I'm just finishing my 2 weeks after my booster. Afterwards I plan to do a long solo road trip until Christmas. Personally I wouldn't be comfortable being around unvaxxed people even if I were fully vaxxed so I would ask and cancel if they weren't or didn't answer. Too many break through cases for me.

Villanelle

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2021, 03:44:56 PM »
I wouldn't be comfortable going unless everyone was vaccinated.  "Hey, Spouse and I are still being really cautious [<--because that makes it about your and hopefully causes this to feel less accusatory or contentious] and aren't spending extended time indoors around unvaccinated people.  We are really excited to see everyone if we can, but would it be possible for us to find out of everyone is vaccinated?  If not, we are going to have to pass. "  Would have been better to have that convo before people were making plans and shopping, but I don't think it is inappropriate.

Getting your SO on board is a different challenge.

We are picking up a catered meal for two and dining alone.  We are planning on a belated Christmas gathering in January.  One gathering will be with 4 other vaccinated people, and the other with 2 or 3 vaccinated people.


OzzieandHarriet

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2021, 04:42:53 PM »
I wouldn't be comfortable going unless everyone was vaccinated.  "Hey, Spouse and I are still being really cautious [<--because that makes it about your and hopefully causes this to feel less accusatory or contentious] and aren't spending extended time indoors around unvaccinated people.  We are really excited to see everyone if we can, but would it be possible for us to find out of everyone is vaccinated?  If not, we are going to have to pass. "  Would have been better to have that convo before people were making plans and shopping, but I don't think it is inappropriate.

DH says he is going to do something like this. He actually agrees with me, but he really wants to see everyone.

Their Thanksgiving meals are never very elaborate, so whether we are there or not won't make much difference.

MayDay

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #16 on: November 23, 2021, 05:11:10 AM »
This year we are visiting the in laws. Everyone in the fam is vaccinated although an ex spouse of one attendee may come and may not be. At this point I have kind of stopped worrying about it. We are all vaxxed (youngest DD is half vaxxed) so what else are we gonna do?

I think it's reasonable to only go if everyone is vaxxed, and I'd just ask. What's the big deal?

blue_green_sparks

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #17 on: November 23, 2021, 06:17:50 AM »
Everyone older than us has died and everyone younger than us just stares at their phones and most are unvaccinated. Honestly, I am hardly missing the dinner company of people who are barely even present in the room. 

OtherJen

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #18 on: November 23, 2021, 07:05:07 AM »
Husband and I (fully vaxxed) are having my parents (fully vaxxed and boosted) over for dinner. My in-laws were going to have a bigger family dinner but cancelled it because of apprehension about COVID, as my MIL’s health is fragile and their grandkids only just received vax dose 1. Maybe we’ll try again at Christmas, when all adults will be boosted and the kids fully vaxxed.

Just Joe

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #19 on: November 23, 2021, 07:40:58 AM »
My household is fully vaxxed and by tonight boosted too. We're going for Thurs and home Fri. Maybe a dozen people. Not all vaccinated. Several have had COVID. Couple of previously vaccinated people are now anti-vax. Figure that one out.

Wouldn't take much to convince us to stay home. Very aged relative(s) and long distance relatives that we want to see so we'll make the best of it.

More worried about the pontificating FoxNews/Trump relatives than COVID though.

Seriously, if anyone gets wound up about politics I'm going for a walk with the dog b/c it won't be a constructive discussion, just reruns of rumors, general meanness and such. Maybe if several of us all walk out at the same time to go for a walk, someone will get the hint. Or not...

Chris Pascale

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #20 on: November 23, 2021, 05:39:03 PM »
If you are vaccinated, then you're fine. If you're worried about infecting them, don't be; they've gotten COVID and so have antibodies.

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving.

Chris Pascale

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #21 on: November 23, 2021, 05:42:04 PM »
Everyone older than us has died and everyone younger than us just stares at their phones and most are unvaccinated. Honestly, I am hardly missing the dinner company of people who are barely even present in the room.

It's perfectly reasonable to ask people to put their phones away. But it's also reasonable to go do something more fun.

OzzieandHarriet

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #22 on: November 23, 2021, 09:01:25 PM »
The info DH got when he called is that everyone is vaxxed and boosted and the travelers will have to have negative tests before they travel. So unless we're carrying it should be okay.

Now, whether it will be FUN for me is another story all together ...

Chris Pascale

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #23 on: November 23, 2021, 09:14:47 PM »

Now, whether it will be FUN for me is another story all together ...

I recommend vodka-Welch's - that's a shot of vodka in Welch's sparkling grape juice. Got me through an otherwise very boring holiday at an uncle's. Right about the time he was complaining about Newt Gingrich in the 90's (yes, still), I was topping out my buzz. I then rode it down the next 2 hours and remember the evening fondly.

MudPuppy

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #24 on: November 23, 2021, 09:30:43 PM »
We used to dump that crystal light (well, generic) powder into a bottle of everclear and there was an emergency “sip station” bottle at a designated location for those in the know. Usually the dairy shed or if it was at the KC hall, we left it in the care of a particular statue of the Blessed Mother.

sui generis

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #25 on: November 23, 2021, 10:42:12 PM »
I'm super excited to be going to a friend's house for Thanksgiving. I'm relying on my hyper blue geography that everyone is vaxxed, though many (like me and DH) aren't boosted yet. I feel sanguine about the risk, though I still hope the odds play in my favor.

I'll be well boosted in time for Christmas and traveling all over the country, including to see some of my family who will have unvaxxed children. Like others, I feel the risk is worth it and certainly not worse than the car accidents or other equally likely thing I also want to avoid.

However, if I didn't love, or even like, Thanksgiving and was on the more cautious side...yeesh. That wouldn't sound like a great option!

BlueMR2

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #26 on: November 25, 2021, 08:36:37 AM »
Going and not worrying about it anymore.  We've all been back in the office for over a year now.  Based on the number of outbreaks and general lack of severity we've seen across all our people I'm not concerned anymore.  While the world is suffering in aggregate, in the individual cases the risk is acceptably low at this point.

Dicey

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #27 on: November 25, 2021, 10:19:25 AM »
My brother is a great cook and offered to host Thanksgiving this year, as he frequently does for all the local-ish family. My sister and her family rsvp'd first, so we noped the fuck out. Brother didn't realize every single one of them are anti-vaxxers, so he reluctantly pulled the plug. Sadly, sister's husband died of Covid four days ago, so no Happy Thanksgiving for any of our family this year.

Other brother had offered to host Christmas. Same sequence of events re: rsvp order. We're willing to travel (by car) to see him (he lives in another state), but we're not going if anyone unvaccinated is there. Both brothers assumed their relatives were vaxxed, as they and their families are, but sadly, that's not the case. Now other brother is stuck uninviting people, or straight-up canceling. Just what you want to tell your grieving sister. Fu-u-u-ck.

I've done a lot of reading about the Holocaust. I always believed the most tragic victims of all the tragic victims were the people who somehow managed to survive the atrocities of the camps, only to die right before liberation. It's not the same, but I use this to remind myself that others have experienced far worse than this pandemic, and that this pandemic has no respect for any of us who just want to get back to "normal". A little more patience could make all the difference. Most likely, none of us faces imminent death if we miss another holiday season with our loved ones. It sucks, but it's survivable.

Stay safe everyone.

Villanelle

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #28 on: November 25, 2021, 10:58:32 AM »
My parent's, who are in their late 70s and fully vaxxed and boosted.  Love to entertain.  Frankly, I think it is one of the things they love best in life, and their decision metric about risk vs. how much time they have left may be different than many, which I can respect.  SO they are ready to get back to entertaining, and have on a small-ish scale.  And their invites now always include, "if you are not fully vaccinated, please decline this invitation".

Of course it still relies on people to be honest, but I don't think there is anything wrong with include that.  It doesn't shame people, it doesn't require them to announce they aren't vaccinated (they just say they can't make it and don't have to elaborate), and it makes other people feel more comfortable attending. And it also opens the door to "sorry, Susie but unless you guys get vaccinated, maybe we will see you some other time, but we are keeping this event to only those vaccinated, so everyone can feel comfortable." Might be worth mentioning this to family members who keep canceling because non-vaxed people accept the invite.  It's easier to do it preemptively than to have to uninvite or cancel after the fact.

I don't think people need to do that, but I respect their right to decide who want in their home, under what circumstances.

spartana

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #29 on: November 25, 2021, 11:04:02 AM »
So sorry to hear that @Dicey. Did your sister get sick?  It seems you never know who is vaxxed and who isn't as many of the unvaxxed people I know won't tell you. I'm starting to hear about friends or aquaintainteces I "thought" we're vaccinated but weren't die or become severely sick and hospitalized or just be in close proximity indoor and unmasked around other people - especially during heavy breathing face-to-face activities like sports. I'm still semi-distancing and doing more outdoor activities (plan to just hang out with BF at home today) but do worry a bit if there will be a big uptick in cases, hospitalizations and deaths this winter.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2021, 11:07:00 AM by spartana »

Dicey

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #30 on: November 25, 2021, 11:21:34 AM »
So sorry to hear that @Dicey. Did your sister get sick?  It seems you never know who is vaxxed and who isn't as many of the unvaxxed people I know won't tell you. I'm starting to hear about friends or aquaintainteces I "thought" we're vaccinated but weren't die or become severely sick and hospitalized or just be in close proximity indoor and unmasked around other people - especially during heavy breathing face-to-face activities like sports. I'm still semi-distancing and doing more outdoor activities (plan to just hang out with BF at home today) but do worry a bit if there will be a big uptick in cases, hospitalizations and deaths this winter.

Not to hijack this thread further and to provide some measure of privacy, details are in the last two or three pages of my journal. Link's in my siggy line below. Don't bother with the rest, except for the brilliant comments, my journal is pure drivel and likely to stay that way as long as it's mine.

OzzieandHarriet

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #31 on: November 25, 2021, 10:21:35 PM »
We went, the meal was barely edible, but the visit went all right otherwise.

MudPuppy

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #32 on: November 26, 2021, 06:32:40 AM »
Oh no! Was it cooked by a different set of hands than usual?

OzzieandHarriet

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #33 on: November 26, 2021, 11:22:45 AM »
Oh no! Was it cooked by a different set of hands than usual?

There were two factors that made it worse than usually this time: a new-to-the-family assistant chef (e.g., cheerfully peeling and chopping mangos, to which someone was very allergic, for the salad when they meant to use pears -“they look the same!”) and liberal weed use by all (except for DH and I).

MudPuppy

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #34 on: November 26, 2021, 11:38:22 AM »
I had a genuine lol at mangos and pears being the same

OtherJen

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #35 on: November 26, 2021, 04:57:34 PM »
I had a genuine lol at mangos and pears being the same

Maybe that was related to the liberal use of weed?

Just Joe

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #36 on: November 28, 2021, 08:51:40 PM »
Food and the company was good. No drama. Surprisingly. Seems some of the relatives are social media brave but much less outspoken in person, or at least know when to hold their tongue.

As always interesting "people watching" as people talked about themselves. DW and I left and thanked each other for our life together. We're "boring" but we're a reliable team.
« Last Edit: November 29, 2021, 09:29:38 AM by Just Joe »

BlueMR2

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Re: Thanksgiving and Covid 2021
« Reply #37 on: December 03, 2021, 05:20:15 PM »
I had a genuine lol at mangos and pears being the same

Maybe that was related to the liberal use of weed?

Ugh.  If the weed comes out, I'm outta there.  I hate dealing with people that have been smoking weed, I'd rather deal with drunks.